There will never be another Van Halen. No player before or since will have the ingenuity and influence he did. From modifying his own guitars and amps to achieve the perfect “brown sound”, to brutalizing the strings with a drill, he was an innovator. He was the most important of all the guitar innovators. And he sheepishly grinned through the whole thing as if to say, “Who, me? I did that?”
The week Eddie passed, we did a tribute to him on the LeBrain Train. You can watch that tribute below, starting at the 20 minute mark.
As if that wasn’t enough, we followed that with another Van Halen show: VH deep cuts! One thing for sure, Eddie certainly inspired a lot of conversation on the LeBrain Train over the past year. You can watch the deep cuts below, starting again at 20 minutes.
Let’s all take a moment to reflect, and play some Van Halen tonight. Tonight, I’m going to go with “Dirty Movies” from Fair Warning to spotlight the greatest gee-tar picker of all time. What song or album will you play for Eddie tonight?
Playing around with faster editing to suit the musical track: “Thirsty and Miserable”, the new Black Flag cover by Max the Axe, from the Oktoberfest Cheer EP. Enjoy a good look at some wild (and probably poisonous) mushrooms! Cameo by Classic Loki.
With all apologies, if the climate change crisis means that I can wear shorts in October, then I cannot help but think that all clouds do have silver linings.
Levity, folks! Just a little levity.
Jen and I ditched our fall coats, and hit the road Friday afternoon. On the car deck: the last live discs of the massive Metallica 2021 box set. This was the 1993 Mannheim Germany show. As we headed into a series of electrifying encores, Jen asked where the crowd was. 17 minutes of “Seek & Destroy” went by awkwardly as the band asked for the audience to follow along, but no audible responses came through the speakers. They must not have mic’ed the audience for that show.
Aside from the music, the drive up was awful. Stuck behind farm machinery and long lines of cars, we took several detours to drive on clear roads. Running out of Metallica*, I switched over to The Darkness’ Last of Our Kind for the final hour of our agonizingly long drive.
When we got there though…
It was a beautiful day that felt like late August, in early October! I did the only thing I could: I put on my shorts and proceeded to rock out. I thought the days of setting up my speakers on the front porch at the lake were over for the year. How elated I was to be wrong! And the place was utterly deserted. People don’t often come in October, thinking the weather would be cold and rainy. It was anything but.
Speakers and laptop ready, I began the weekend with some Ghost. Here’s the fascinating part. I hit “play” on their most recent album Prequelle, and I found it unexpectedly fit in perfectly with the setting. At the lake, I often like to play old music that takes me back in time like a Tardis. It’s the perfect environment, because so much of my musical discovery happened in that place. Three tracks in particular fit the mood like a glove: “Rats”, “Danse Macabre” and “Miasma”. Suddenly I was transported back to an alternate 1986 where these were my favourite songs. It was trippy and very cool.
My mind went to that place again. Grade 8 graduation and the final farewell to the Catholic school system and all the bullies it built. I could see myself onstage singing to them.
“In times of turmoil, in times like these, Beliefs contagious, spreading disease.”
I wondered if, in my alternate reality 1986, the teachers pulled the plug on me singing “Rats”. I would probably do better singing “Danse Macabre”.
“You’ll soon be hearing the chime, close to midnight, If I could turn back the time, I’d make all right.”
Little does Papa Emeritus know, I’m getting quite good at turning back the time. All it takes is a song. Those three Ghost songs are easy for anyone to pretend it’s still the late 80s. They would have fit right in. All it takes is the right song in the right setting and I’m there.
There’s one Ghost song that I wish I could take back in time and play on graduation night back in the Catholic days. That would be the evil “Ritual”. Certain lines, at least.
“Tonight, we’re summoned for a divine cause, Remembrance, no, but for their future loss.”
Ahh, to fantasize. I really resented that place. Music was my release from Catholic hell.
Before too much time in 1986 had elapsed, I found my body back in 2021 being eaten alive by mosquitoes. Little ones with voracious appetites. Enjoying their unexpected fall snack, they were relentless. At one point I raised my electric “bug zapper” over my head. I only wish I had been recording, because in a couple swipes I could hear dozens of bugs fying. 20 or 30 in just one swoop. Little explosions like a machine gun popping, but never running out of ammo. The war against mosquitoes could not be won outside, so I reluctantly took it indoors.
Very strangely unseasonal, but as we get warmer year after year, this is the kind of surprise we’ll have to get used to. Being outside was less hazardous if you kept moving, so I spent plenty of time exploring. I discovered an old, heavily decayed vertebra of some kind. It looked larger than human. A deer, most likely?
The ground was layered with mushrooms of many different types, and they were everywhere. 40 years ago when contractors were building out cottage, a group of Italians scavenged for mushrooms. They knew which ones were good to eat. I didn’t even consider taking that risk and instead just took pictures of some. As I wandered around, there were many more, far denser, but I did not bring my camera. It was like living in Mario Town.
Outnumbering the mushrooms were the mosquitoes, and eventually I could take them no longer. I sought refuge inside. But they had gotten through the screen, and made mists of mosquitoes beneath the lamps. It was mosquito hell!
As are all weekends, this one was too brief. Instead of being sad for the waning of the season, we were just glad to have had an amazing weekend in October. And maybe we’ll even make it back one more time. We’ll see what the weeks left hold.
* We still have two interview discs to go, but I didn’t want to listen to 45 minutes of Lars chewing his gum in the car.
Thanks to everyone who watched or shared Friday’s show, I really appreciate it! I think the new, shorter format is going to work. I also think the new intro video is pretty cool. We haven’t got a version that includes every single person who has ever been on the show, but it is a sampling of some very cool people who mean a lot to me. I hope you find yourself in this video! Music by Tee Bone Erickson.
Streamlined lists, and three of the most passionate rock fans on the planet came together last night for the relaunch of the new LeBrain Train! The topic was Top Five Album Openers, and the guests were Uncle Meat and Harrison the Mad Metal Man! We call it “Cinco De List-O” and although the lists were shorter, we made sure we didn’t skimp on the analysis and appreciation.
Every one of the songs listed tonight deserve some time in your ears. You can read the lists below, or have some real fun and watch the show!
Big thanks to my two co-hosts tonight, for what I think was a pretty damn good re-launch. Let’s pour on the steam and this train a-rollin’ again.
Note: Apologies to Max the Axe for playing the wrong version of “Pygmy Blowdart” at the top of the show. I loaded the early cut into Streamyard.
The LeBrain Train: 2000 Words or More with Mike Ladano
Episode α – Cinco De List-O – Top Five Album Opening Tracks
Welcome back to the show, everyone! Break time has been fruitful, and working closely with the Meat Man, we’ve decided to set aside the Nigel Tufnel Top Ten for now. In the effort of revamping and streamlining the show, as painful as it is, we have to let go the lists of 11 for the time being. It was our gimmick, a gift from Uncle Meat, and it worked brilliantly. We did some amazing list shows over the last 18 months and we have the graphs to prove it. But I need the episodes to run under three hours if I’m to come back to do this again.
Tonight is a trial run. We’re going to try lists of five instead. (This is something Martin Popoff suggested to us a year ago.) Tee Bone calls it “Cinco De List-D” and that’s just too good to pass up so we’re going with it. Harrison and Uncle Meat will be on hand to discuss our Top Five Album Opening Tracks. What a great subject for “opening” this new era of the LeBrain Train.
There was once a time before we had our infamous “no questions asked” return policy. In 1996, we were able to…shall we say, “express ourselves” more freely as managers of Record Stores.
We learned from the best, and we didn’t take kindly to someone trying to rip us off. Some time in early September 1996, I received a call from T-Rev at his own store. “Mikey,” he said, “Just a warning. There’s a guy coming your way with the new Rush CD, that he wants to return. Now I had a look at it, and it is just hacked. There was no way he opened it like that. I wouldn’t let him return it. You’ll see what I mean when he gets there. He’s this little short guy with glasses and short hair. You’ll know him when you see him.” A prepared myself for the Rush fan with Napoleon complex.
The new Rush album, Test For Echo, was received with mixed reactions. We started seeing used copies early on, traded in by ordinary fans (albeit impatient ones) who simply didn’t like it. T-Rev and I both thought it was a step down from Counterparts, while acknowledging that sometimes a Rush album needs time. We liked a couple tracks, and disliked a few as well. (“Dog Years” and “Virtuality” were on the shit list.) We were not surprised to see people returning it, but Nerdlinger here was unique.
The little guy stormed in, straight up to the counter, and asked to return the Rush CD. “I don’t like it,” he said simply. I dutifully opened the case and, as T-Rev has warned, the disc was mangled. Probably due to a car CD deck, which were common and had a habit of murdering discs.
“I’m sorry,” I began, “but I can’t take this back. It’s seen some pretty serious use and it’s scratched up really bad.” I didn’t know what else to say. “I’m sorry,” I added lamely.
He was irate. “‘Seen some serious use’?” he quoted back to me. “How? I just got it at your other store. It’s a day old!”
Customers always asked “how” their CDs got scratched. How the fuck am I supposed to know what he did with it?
“I don’t know how it got scratched up this bad, but they don’t come this way out of the shrinkwrap.” I grabbed our store play CD to show him. “See, this is one we just opened a few days ago and we’ve been playing it every day.” He glared through his glasses at our copy.
He insisted he didn’t scratch it, that he bought it that way from T-Rev’s store and he wouldn’t return it.
I didn’t know what else I could say. “Well, I showed you what they look like coming out of the shrinkwrap.” Then, poking the bear just a smidge, I chided, “Did you drop it?”
“NO, I didn’t drop it!” he expressed in a mocking tone. Knowing he was not going to get anywhere with me, he left. And, much like many tenacious customers of his guilt-free mindset, he returned later that day on the night shift. A time he assumed I wouldn’t be working. But he didn’t get anywhere with the night staff. They knew something wasn’t right about it and asked him to return when the manager is in. So, like any douchebag worth his salt, he left a pager number for me to call the next day.
“Oh, joy” I said to myself upon seeing the note waiting for me.
I never called a beeper before. I noted the occasion for its novelty.
A short while later, Nerdlinger stormed back into the store with his Rush CD. He must have been so dejected upon seeing I was the manager.
And so for a second time I refused to return his CD, and he did the usual expected temper tantrum. I’m never shopping here again, I’m telling all my friends, I’m this and you’re that.
And life got incrementally better, knowing I’d never have to see that fucking Nerdlinger again.
RECORD STORE TALES #942: My Brushes With Metallica
I don’t mind admitting that my first Metallica was Load. Yeah, I was one of them. Hate on if you gotta.
Like many my age, the first exposure came in 1988 via their first music video: “One”. To say the visuals were disturbing would be accurate. Although I did enjoy the song, I didn’t feel the need to hit “record” on my VCR when it come on. Other kids at school sure liked it, and copies of Johnny Got His Gun were claimed to have been read by some of them. I figured I could continue to live without Metallica.
The Black album was released in 1991. I was watching live when Lars Ulrich called in to the Pepsi Power Hour to debut the new music video for “Enter Sandman”. The new, streamlined and uber-produced Metallica looked and sounded good to me. I loved when James said “BOOM!” and thought that hooking up with Bob Rock had worked out brilliantly. The sonics were outstanding. While I enjoyed the singles Metallica released through the next couple years, I never took a dive and bought the album. Why?
Three main reasons. The key one was that I knew, even before I knew I had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, that I would feel compelled to collect all the Metallica singles that I had missed over the years. That was, as yet, a bridge too far. Second reason was that I satisfied my craving for that style of Metallica in 1992 when Testament came out with The Ritual. It had a track like “Sandman” called “Electric Crown”. It had a song like “Sad But True” called “So Many Lies”. It was perfect for my needs. Thirdly, for whatever reason I didn’t think I was going to enjoy “old” Metallica, which again, I would feel compelled to collect.
When I started working at the Record Store in 1994, I had the night shifts alone. I could play whatever I wanted and sometimes I gave Metallica a spin. I can remember “Enter Sandman” coming on while I was cleaning, and saying to a customer, “Man I love this song!” He nodded awkwardly and wondered why I was telling him.
A bit later I was hanging out with this guy Chris. He was extolling the virtues of thrash metal, and put on Kill ‘Em All. I was astonished when “Blitzkrieg” came on. “I know this song! I love this song!” I exclaimed as I jumped up. Air guitar in hand, I started bangin’ to the riff. “This is a song by Blitzkrieg,” I explained to Chris. “It’s on the New Wave of British Heavy Metal CD that Lars Ulrich produced. I didn’t know he covered it.”
This is the point at which I like to say I became a Metallica fan. Collecting the older stuff was still daunting, and a lot of it was expensive because it was out of print. Which is really why it took Load for me to finally buy a Metallica CD.
1996 was a glorious but so stressing summer! I was managing my own Record Store for the first time. The weather was gorgeous. The stock we had was incredible. The stress came from staff, which turned over faster than a dog begging for belly rubs! There was “Sally” who was caught paying herself excessive amounts of cash for the used CDs she was selling to the store. There was The Boy Who Killed Pink Floyd who came to work hungover and worse. And, most trying of all, music sucked for people like me who missed the great rock of the 70s and 80s.
On June 4, Metallica released Load to great anticipation. Their new short-haired look (a Lars and Kirk innovation) turned heads and it was said that Metallica had abandoned metal and gone alternative. Of course this was stretching the truth a tad. Metallica had certainly abandoned thrash metal on Load, and arguably earlier. Alternative? Only in appearance (particularly Kirk Hammett with eye makeup and new labret piercing).
Load was the kind of rock I liked. The kind of rock I missed through the recent alterna-years. I had been buying Oasis CDs just to get some kind of new rock in my ears. Finally here comes Metallica, with the exact kind of music that I liked, and at the exact time I needed it.
And yes, I did immediately start collecting the rarities and back catalogue. Garage Days and Kill ‘Em All (with “Blitzkrieg” and “Am I Evil?”) were both out of print at that time. I snapped up the first copies I could get my hands on, when they came in used inventory. We were selling them for $25 each, no discount. I later found a copy of a “Sad But True” single featuring the coveted “So What” at Encore Records for $20. The new Load singles were added to my collection upon release. The truth is, I picked the best possible time to get into Metallica collecting: when I was managing my own used CD store! I soon had the “Creeping Death” / “Jump In the Fire” CD. A Japanese import “One” CD single only cemented what a lucky bastard I was to be working there.
Because Metallica came to me relatively later in life, today they never provoke the kind of golden memories that Kiss or Iron Maiden do. However the summer of ’96 was defined by Metallica. Driving the car, buddy T-Rev next to me, playing drums on his lap. His hands and thighs got sore from playing car-drums so hard. Load was our album of the summer and it sounded brilliant in the car. Hate if you hafta, but that’s the way it went down for this guy in the dreary 90s.
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