RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale #332: Getting Older Everyday
I’ve been lucky enough to marry a simply awesome lady. Jen is a remarkable human being, but she also has one additional gift: the gift of looking perpetually young. She still sometimes gets carded, mistaken for a student, and so on.
Meanwhile here I am: Captain Grey Beard. I still look pretty young when I’m clean shaven. When I have a beard, forget about it! My beard started greying a year or two after marriage. I don’t think the two events are connected…but you never know.
Now, things are so bad that I have twice been mistaken for Jen’s father.
The first time it happened, we were at the Keg. It was Jen, her mom, and myself. The server handed Jen a hot plate without enough warning and she burned her hand slightly. While she and her mom went to the washroom to run some cold water on her hand, the manager came out to apologize. He said to me, “I’m so sorry about what happened to your daughter.”
My daughter! Oh man. That was a shitty meal, I’m sorry Keg, but you blew that one! None of us were in a good mood after that.
The second time it happened, Jen was meeting me at work. She walked in as our shipping supervisor was heading out the door. He’s a nice guy, about my age. The following day, he asked me, “So who was the young lady that you were meeting here yesterday? Was that your daughter?”
I didn’t stab him in the eye with a pencil.
And then, this past summer, something similar (and weird) happened.
Jen and I were out for a nice evening stroll. There were some kids playing near the park by our place. They were younger kids, none of them would have been older than about 10. As we walked past, I heard one kid yell the following:
“LOOK! That lady and that old man peed their pants!”
I looked around. There was nobody else on the street! They were referring to us, and I assure you that we had NOT peed our pants! I don’t know where that came from, but it was probably the first time I’d been referred to as “old man”!
Enjoy this first review from my 2014 Toronto Record Store Excursion with Aaron!
FAITH NO MORE – Live In Germany 2009 (Immortal)
“Faith No More 2.0. New software; same old shit. Enjoy!” — Mike Patton
Faith No More have long been one of those bands who never really got their due. Without Faith No More, you’d have no Korn, Disturbed, or System of a Down. Their influence is best measured in the numerous bands who followed in their wake. I’m proud to have been a fan since first exposure (1990). When Faith No More broke up in ’98, I thought they took the high road by being one of the few bands to say a reunion was not in the cards. Then, like all the other bands, that moment came and Faith No More gradually eased themselves back on the stage. Now they’re making a new album (a new single, the Tom Waits-ish “Motherfucker” is out November 28) and I think that’s just grand.
I was pleased to bits to find a live CD document of a European Faith No More reunion show. It was an obvious must-buy, but I was happy that it sounds so fucking good!
The CDs only flaw is that it begins abruptly, as if a few notes of the first song “Reunited” are cut off. This 1978 R&B hit displays a side of Faith No More that other bands fail to capture — their ability to play classic R&B and Disco perfectly. Mike Patton has the soul chops, and just enough weirdness to throw his own style in towards the end. They segue this perfectly into the hammering “From Out of Nowhere” from 1989’s The Real Thing. I’ll tell you something here — I don’t miss Jim Martin at all. At first, I was hoping (without grounds) that Martin would be a part of the reunion. The band instead (and logically) went with their most recent guitarist Jon Hudson, a well-rounded player who can do all eras of Faith No More equally convincing. This is apparent on the wah-wah drenched “Be Aggressive” from ’92. This sexually explicit shocker is just as undeniably catchy as it was back in the 90’s.
This being Germany, Patton can’t resist dropping the odd “scheisse”, before barking like a dog, on the epic “Caffeine”. This bizarre powerhouse has long been one of Faith No More’s most stunning trips into the void, and live it’s only more so. Without the studio effects on his voice, Mike Patton resorts to unorthodox techniques to give his voice the distortion and flexibility required. Vibrating his throat with his hand, for example, is one such method you can hear on “Caffeine”.
Some of the other incredible highlights included here are the slick Disco of “Evidence”, which Mike sings in Spanish! The piano-and-beatbox of “Chariots of Fire” is hilarious and cool. Patton’s vocal acrobatics are unearthly on “Surprise! You’re Dead!”. Same with “MidLife Crisis”. You either like the craziness Mike Patton injects live, or you don’t. If you don’t, then you’re probably not a Faith No More fan anyway. I also enjoy the funny rant about somebody throwing €1 at him during the same song. “How would you feel, if you were a stripper or something, and somebody threw one Euro. How would you feel?” A valid question.
The best tune is probably the apocalyptic “Gentle Art of Making Enemies”. I fully expected Mike Patton’s head to explode. I don’t know how can do what he does with just lungs and a throat. Not to be outshined is drummer Mike “Puffy” Bordin who keeps the train on the tracks for the whole show.
The band’s onstage banter is a little friendlier than it was back in the day, but still teasing. They are not as antagonistic as I’ve heard them in the past. But they sure are tight. Musically, there is no question that reuniting this lineup was 100% the right move. They are too versatile and just too damn good to stay broken up. The set list was a well balanced representation of the Patton years, with only one Chuck Mosely classic (“We Care A Lot”, which is the closer). There aren’t too many obvious hits missing. “A Small Victory”, perhaps, or “Falling to Pieces”.
It’s finally done! Enjoy this video souvenir from our (Mike and Aaron) 2014 Record Store Excursion in Toronto .
Of the albums I bought in Toronto, one stood out as an immediate killer. Just an awesome disc, that I’ll be reviewing tomorrow. See if you can guess which one blew me away.
Where do you buy music? I put together an informal survey of where my music has come from over the last 12 months.
DISCOGS – What a great way to fill up on old 12” and 7” singles that I am missing. Not a great way to fill up on uber-rarities. For example, I cannot pay $63 for Tenacious D’s Jazz EP which has only one track. I cannot pay $58 for Iron Maiden’s “Virus” single on 12” vinyl which has two rare Soundhouse Tapes on the B-side.
AMAZON – The lion’s share of my music comes from here. Whether it be a new release or a reissue of something in a deluxe format, Amazon is my go-to store. The prices are fair and the shipping is free for all orders over $25, which is all my orders anyway. Also great for gift-giving when your family has created their own Amazon wishlists. And if you don’t want to buy new titles, Amazon has plenty of marketplace sellers who deal in affordable, good condition used CDs. You just have to check out their ratings, like you would on eBay.
ENCORE RECORDS – The newly relocated Mecca of music shopping in Kitchener. It was even better when Encore was located just around the corner from the great comic book store, Looking For Heroes. Then I could kill two birds with one stone (or as Ricky might say, get two birds stoned at once). Their selection of new and used is awesome. Any deluxe reissues that I don’t get from Amazon can easily be found there. T-shirts, oddball releases, singles…this is the place to go in the area. At least, this is where I go!
CD JAPAN – I’ve been buying on and off from CD Japan for over a decade, but only in the last year have I really gone hogwild. (Thanks, Mitch.) When I can find Japanese versions of albums with bonus tracks for only a little more than the domestic versions, I’m in. These guys have never let me down. I’ve bought about a dozen discs from them in the last 12 months, none of which I would have been able to buy affordably anywhere else that I shop. My biggest score ever was my recent Thin Lizzy At The BBC box set. CD Japan price, brand new? $140. Discogs price, for US issue? $322.
ITUNES – For exclusives only. I will never buy anything on iTunes that can be had physically. This year I purchased Mitch Lafon’s A World With Heroes EP on iTunes, and the odd bonus track here and there. That’s it. iTunes can fuck off otherwise.
TARANNA – Aaron and I do our annual Toronto trip and end up with many treasures every time! See our videos for more details. Also included here is the Toronto record show I attend each April.
And of course, sometimes you just have to buy music directly from the artist. Artists such as Lee Aaron and Helix have earned my dollars via their own websites this year.
Then, there are places I haven’t bought anything from this past year. Walmart, Best Buy…there’s no point, really. Others include:
EBAY – I have bought no music from eBay in over two years. When I’m looking for uber-rarities, this is a very expensive way to get them. A last resort only.
My old store – Although Aaron finds stuff he wants there all the time, I haven’t had any luck in the last 12 months. However that is simply because I have so many CDs. It’s not due to the quality of that store. They are excellent at selling good condition used items. I just haven’t found much this year. I’m sure I will again. I’m just very picky about which versions of items I want, and if I don’t find the exact version I just want to keep looking. I still recommend my old store to anyone looking for cheap, good quality used CDs.
Regardless of where I obtain my music, one thing is certain: The collection keeps growing, and growing, and growing. I am confident with 100% certainty that it will continue to grow, thanks to the fine vendors listed here!
OZZY OSBOURNE – Bark at the Moon (2002 Sony, unadvertised remixed)
Much like Diary and Blizzard, when Bark At The Moon was reissued in 2002, it was also remixed. People who own my preferred edition of this beloved Ozzy classic have noticed the unadvertised remix. (There was no sticker on the cover indicating this album was remixed, and it was also ignored in press releases. The liner notes claim this was mixed by Tony Bongiovi, like the original.) Why this was done is a mystery to me, I’ve never read anything about it. All I can say is that you’ll notice particularly on Jake E. Lee’s solos, the overall sonics, and some keyboard parts as well. The ending to some songs, and the beginnings of others are very different. Maybe Ozzy thought the album sounded dated? The remix seems as if they were trying for the drums and effects to sound “current”. Which is silly, of course. This year’s “current” is next year’s out of date, but classic will always be classic.
Either way, the original mix of Bark has been an underdog favourite for many years. Ozzy seems to really want to bury the Jake years. He only plays the title track live, none of the other songs. Granted, “Bark at the Moon” is clearly an outstanding track. There are still some lesser-known classics here equally good as the album tracks on Diary or Blizzard. For example, “Rock ‘N’ Roll Rebel”. This riff monster sounds like the natural successor to some of the best moments on Diary. There are a ton of great songs here. “You’re No Different”, which is one of those great Ozz slow burners is another one. I’ve always liked “Slow Down” and of course “Waiting for Darkness”. Ozzy had gothed out his sound a lot more on this album and you’ll hear a lot more keyboards and even strings.
Ozzy was in a bad place back in ’83. Still hurting from the death of Randy Rhoads, Ozzy was forced to audition players again, a process he hated. Jake E. Lee (ex-Ruff Cutt) was selected, perhaps due to his ability to meld white hot riffs with neoclassical shredding. Bassist Bob Daisley returned, as did drummer Tommy Aldridge, who had played on the last tour. Don Airey returned for keyboard duties, creating a spooky atmosphere for the Ozzman to prowl.
And prowl he did. This is a hard rocking album, probably harder than the two Rhoads discs. It is also a dark sounding album. Blizzard has a lot of musical joy on it; you can hear that these guys were stoked to be playing those songs. Bark sounds a bit tired by comparison, a bit like a druggy haze. “Now You See It (Now You Don’t)” is an example of a song that has all these qualities. It has a hard, almost Sabbathy guitar riff, but is cloaked in darkness.
“Rock ‘N’ Roll Rebel” is the most upbeat song. Who doesn’t like a song about rebellion in the name of rock and roll? It also has obvious references to the TV preachers who were out to get Ozzy at the time, so the song is like a big middle finger from Ozzy. “I’m a just a rock ‘n’ roll rebel, I’ll tell you no lies. They say I worship the devil, they must be stupid or blind.”
Then you have the jokey weird ballad, “So Tired”. At least that’s how I heard it then, and still hear it now. The video seems to emphasize the jokey aspect. Who doesn’t love to see Ozzy dressed up as monsters? As far as the song goes, I have no idea what they were thinking at the time. Maybe it was the drugs? Another weird thing — even thought I think the song is a joke, I love it!
As mentioned, since the remix changes the sound of the album and swaps out solos here and there, pick up one of the earlier CD editions. The 1995 remaster is pretty good; it contained the B-side “Spiders” (sometimes written as “Spiders In The Night”). Unfortunately even though it’s a well sought rarity, it’s not one of Ozzy’s better songs. It’s an obvious B-side. Better (because it’s funnier) is “One Up The B-Side” which makes its CD debut on this edition. “The bent overture”. Heh.
Now that Ozzy and Sharon have seen the light and finally reissued the original mixes of Blizzard and Diary, one can always hope for a long term Ozzy reissue program. I’d like to see the original mix of Bark At The Moon made available again. I think it’s a shame that Ozzy seems to have disowned most of the Jake E. Lee era. Jake was and remains a great guitarist — check out his work on the incredible Badlands album.
STEVE EARLE – “Dominick Street” and “The Galway Girl”
My old friend Mike Lukas has shot and edited this cool video with his new GoPro camera. I gotta get me one of these! He edited the video on his Mac and voila — “The Galway Girl” live on stage with Steve Earle. This is my favourite song from Transcendental Blues.
Mike tells me that John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin is visible at the beginning of the video. See if you can spot him.
I’ll admit I never saw the original cut of this 1999 cult indy classic. I’d heard of it back then, but never saw it. All I’ve seen is this recut version, and I am pleased to bits over it. Not knowing what to expect, I popped the movie into the DVD player. This movie was a good 15 years ahead of its time. Now you can see this every week on The Big Bang Theory. I’d almost go as far as to call Big Bang a ripoff. Almost. Big Bang never got Shatner on their show.
I was immediately inundated with sci-fi and pop culture references to make Kevin Smith wet his bed. Anyone born in the 1970’s will understand. Yet, this is not as cheesily done as the disappointing Fanboys. Something about this strikes the nerve of authenticity. From re-enactments of Logan’s Run (“Run, runner!”) to geekouts over Wrath Of Khan laserdiscs, and incorporating Terminator quotes into everyday life, if you’re a sci-fi geek, you will never find a more wretched hive…sorry, got carried away there. Throw in Swingers influences for the late 20’s crowd in the late 90’s and you have a pretty entertaining film. Although in the wake of Big Bang Theory, I fear viewers today will simply feel they’ve seen this before.
Eric McCormack is a struggling writer (his latest screenplay, Brady Killer — a horror movie set in the Brady house — is pretty much junk). Rafer Weigel (who?) is a film editor for a tiny studio, making movies like Beach Babe Bingo Fiesta. Their lives consist of trying to score, geeking out over Star Trek (“only original, only classic!”), and in Rafer’s case, paying the bills without hawking his Trek goods. Their lives take a turn for the interesting when they are browsing books and run into…William Shatner (browsing porn), as played by William Shatner.
This is, in my own humble geek opinion, Shatner’s best movie. At times he plays himself understatedly dark, other times with panache, and outrageously at others. Most of all, Shatner’s Shatner is whacko. A lonely whacko, and lovable, but also out-of-his-tree whacko, as if every story you ever heard about his ego was true. He is working on his own film project, a little epic. William Shatner and William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. A musical version. Six hours long. Three intermissions. With Shatner playing all the parts. Except Calpurnia. He was thinking about getting Sharon Stone for that part.
Shatner, as great as he is, is only the background for this lovingly made film. He appears in childhood dream sequences, and he pops up unexpectedly when the characters need to confess their problems to what essentially amounts to a friendly, lonely stranger. Our main characters are going through their own late-20’s problems, mostly with women. The performances are merely adequate, certainly not Oscar-worthy, but damned if McCormack doesn’t do the best Shatner monologue that I’ve ever seen. It’s a very, very good Shat.
This is not a complex story, but it is a warm one about friends and Trek, and is infinitely re-watchable. I pull it off the shelves every year or so to enjoy and geek out. I can’t say the same thing about Fanboys. Its only flaw is its ending, which is a shame since the ending is kind of the important part. Considering that the ending is a musical performance by William Shatner though, there’s some camp value to it. It’s just…not very good.
The DVD bonus features are pure awesomeness at warp 9. My favourite was a pilot for a series called Cafe Fantastique that was never picked up, but damn, it should have been. The makers of Free Enterprise came up with a series where they just discuss science fiction news and films over drinks in a bar with special guests. Chase Masterson (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) appears in this pilot. It’s kind of like that show that Jon Favreau had where he just hangs out at dinner with his friends. Shoulda woulda coulda been a series. I would have watched it, and so would you. Lastly there is a large booklet with lots of pictures and essays, and a glossary of geek speak. For example “Soylent Green is people!”
Pickup Free Enterprise if you:
a) are a Shatner fan
b) love Kevin Smith style films
c) think Han shot first.
3.5/5 stars. An indispensable part of my Trek library.
I’m going to keep it short and sweet this time, and defer to a 1992 review by M.E.A.T Magazine’s Drew Masters (issue 38, Nov. 92):
He’s right. I don’t agree with the single M rating though; these are mostly good tunes. They’re sequenced awkwardly as fuck though. The flow on this disc is just completely fucked. The songs don’t work in the sequence they’re in. And Drew is correct in inferring that many of White Lion’s prouder, heavier moments are missing. Vito smokes on the live tracks, but Tramp can’t hit the notes. Buy Pride, not this.
Just because I left my old job at the Record Store didn’t mean I stopped journaling. It did slow down, but it’s interesting to review them today, having just completed the Record Store Tales. It’s fascinating to me how positive they are (in general) compared to the ones only 18 months prior. It’s also interesting how even over a year after leaving that place, certain people continued to terrify me. Even though the person I’ll call “the office bully” had no power over me anymore, I was still in the grips in fear at the mere thought. I’m seeing journal entries about this person haunting my thoughts over a year after my last encounter, and I’m reading words like “terror”. I didn’t realize how I’d been affected by the whole thing. I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. It took years for me to really put it all together, and I’m still doing that.
My journals after the store are pretty bland by comparison to the ones before. There are still some pretty funny ones, such as a review of the movie Transformers (2007) that is so stupidly positive that there is no way I will post it here, not even for comedic value! I would simply lose all credibility, so forget it. I remember dragging Jen out to see that stupid thing.
Of the journals I’ve re-discovered, one in particular jumped out at me as a great one to post first.
I won’t share the whole thing in its entirety as it includes a private email, but the first paragraph is pretty cool. I had made a video on Youtube back then regarding the passing of Mark St. John. I don’t have the video anymore, but it was pretty heartfelt and apparently others must have got that out of the video as well. This journal preserved an email that I received from a cousin of Mark:
Date: 2007/04/07 05:17
I just got the most amazing email in regards to my youtube video (below) [now gone] about Mark St. John of Kiss:
“Thank you so much for your tribute to Mark. He was my cousin. Mom called to tell me the bad news. She said Aunt Terry said to look him up online to see all the posts etc. on different sites. It was really cool of you to make your RIP video. [content edited] Thanks again for what you said….he will be greatly missed.”
Stuff like that video, I just threw it together. It was a first take with no edits. But apparently it really touched Mark’s cousin. This was yet another stepping stone in my realization that I should be online, talking about music. I think that was a good decision.
It took Blaze Bayley a couple years to bounce back with a new band and album, and given the fan reception to his work with Iron Maiden, I was skeptical. I didn’t shell out for the Japanese, but I did grab the domestic CD as soon as a copy arrived in our stores. I was pleasantly surprised, as Blaze’s debut solo release Silicon Messiah is a very heavy and memorable disc.
The weakness for some will be Blaze’s voice. You either like it or you don’t. Outside of the context of Iron Maiden, his deep vocals work better. The opening track “Ghost in the Machine” for example is a de-tuned chugger the likes of which Maiden wouldn’t do. Blaze’s vocals work better with this kind of low, growly metal. Fortunately there is still enough melody (on the killer chorus) and riffage to keep heads banging. And no wonder: the CD is produced by metal master Andy Sneap, who laid waste to several excellent Accept albums recently. Blaze wrote the music with his new eponymous band: Steve Wray and John Slater (guitars), Jeff Singer (drums), and Rob Naylor (bass). The band is somewhat faceless, aside from Blaze himself there’s nothing identifiable about the band.
If there is a weakness to Silicon Messiah, it’s that there is a certain sameness to the songs. It’s a bit homogeneous: grinding, de-tuned riffs, melodic choruses and solos, with powerful but low vocals. Fortunately Blaze has written some surprisingly decent lyrics to go with the songs, with several seeming to fit together into some kind of cyberpunk concept.
Highlights:
“Silicon Messiah”, perhaps the most Maiden-like track.
“Born as a Stranger”, also Maiden-like (think “Be Quick or Be Dead”); speedy goodness.
“The Brave”, another fast one that kicks all the asses in the room. “Fortune favours the brave” indeed.
“Identity” which boasts lots of tasty guitar bits along with loud and quiet parts.
“The Launch” which is essentially “Man of the Edge” by Iron Maiden re-written (but with a better chorus).
“Stare at the Sun”, your typical Maiden-inspired epic closer.
Blaze Bayley, his band and Andy Sneap created a pretty decent metal album here. It’s perfectly listenable throughout, if a bit anonymous sounding. Fans of Blaze will dig it.
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