GUEST REVIEW: Dream Theater – The Number of the Beast (by Uncle Meat)

GUEST REVIEW by:  Uncle Meat

ST NUMBER BEAST_0003DREAM THEATER: The Number of the Beast (2002 Ytsejam Records, Covers Series)

For the most part, Dream Theater is a band you either love or you hate. Some Metal fans are put off by the keyboards perhaps, while many others find Dream Theater hard to listen to because of the effeminate tone to the voice of singer James LaBrie. On the other hand, music fans who are not into the sensibilities of progressive music would label Dream Theater as “pretentious,” or which have you. Most music fans though can appreciate the musical talent of everyone involved. They are also a very busy unit, often branching out into different projects between DT albums and tours.

While still in the band, and then after his departure from DT in 2010, Mike Portnoy has been the busiest of all the DT members. So much so, that while researching to do this review of Dream Theater’s Official Bootleg: The Number of the Beast, I was blown away with how many projects Portnoy has been a part of that I truly love. Simply said, Mike Portnoy comes off as the biggest music fan in the music business. On top of his resume of original music, his obsessively accurate tribute projects can only be pulled off by someone who is an authentic “music geek super fan”. Sound familiar, LeBrain? So yes, this review has morphed itself into a bit of a Mike Portnoy love fest. Check out this list of his accomplishments outside of Dream Theater.

LIQUID TENSION EXPERIMENT – The two studio albums with John Petrucci, Jordan Rudess and Tony Levin are fantastic albums. Their self-titled CD is one of my favorite progressive rock albums. With three subsequent live albums with that lineup and two albums with a name change to Liquid Trio Experiment, that makes seven albums with the great Tony Levin alone.

TRANSATLANTIC – Four studio albums and four live albums with this Prog super group along with Roine Stolt (The Flower Kings), Neal Morse(Spock’s Beard, Flying Colors) and the bassist from one of my favorite bands…Marillion…Pete Trewavas.

AVENGED SEVENFOLD – After the death of their drummer, Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan, during the writing of a new album, Mike Portnoy stepped in and played drums on their 2010 CD titled Nightmare. He also joined them for a few shows over in Iran and Kuwait for American troops overseas.

ADRENALINE MOB – Two albums with this band consisting of members from Symphony X and Fozzy. I honestly do not think I have heard it so can’t say much really.

FLYING COLORS – One studio album and one live album playing with my favorite musician of all time… Steve Morse. Consisting of Neal Morse again and others, including the incredible Steve Morse Band bassist Dave LaRue. Maybe you should just read LeBrain’s review of this band right “here”.

WINERY DOGS – With a more straight ahead rock and roll approach, the Winery Dogs is his current gig with bassist Billy Sheehan and guitarist Richie Kotzen.  [Check out Jon Wilmenius’ excellent review here — LeBrain]

And that’s just the original music he has been a part of. He has gone to great lengths to put together live shows recreating the concerts of, and playing the music of, his favorite drummers. He has arranged one for Led Zeppelin called Hammer of the Gods. He has also done one for Rush called Cygnus & the Sea Monsters. I actually learned about these while researching the review that I haven’t even got around to yet (yes this has become a much larger project than initially thought), so I am curious to search these out. You should be as well. The one I can comment on is his Beatles tribute called Yellow Matter Custard, named from a lyric within the song “I Am the Walrus”.

Consisting of Matt Bissonette, Paul Gilbert and Neal Morse and himself, this unit recreates what it would have been like to see The Beatles live. A lot of the songs were never played by the Beatles live. I listened to this with a good friend of mine who himself is a great musician and huge Beatles fan. Listening to it brought the Beatles super-fan out of him, most especially loving the somewhat obscure tracks performed live by the band. I highly recommend checking this out if you are a Beatles fan. So that pretty much means everyone.

 

 

ST NUMBER BEAST_0002I can’t believe I am now just starting the intended review, but here goes. In 2002, while touring for the album Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence, Dream Theater went on a short club tour in Europe where they played a different album in its entirety, track for track. Among the albums covered in this tour were Master of Puppets – Metallica, Dark Side of the Moon – Pink Floyd and Made in Japan – Deep Purple. (Who covers a live album? And one of my favorite live albums of all time? Dream Theater does, that’s who).

On October 24, 2002 DT played a small club called La Mutualite in Paris, France. The album on the menu that night was The Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden. From the sound of the enthusiastic crowd you can clearly hear throughout the album, this was a well-appreciated re-creation of one of the greatest Metal albums of all time.

The show starts off with album opener “Invaders”. My first impression was how great it sounded. Lively version and a thick guitar sound. Another thing I quickly realized is this: say what you want about James LaBrie and his effeminate style. Not many singers, including Bruce Dickinson himself can sing these songs live. I have seen Iron Maiden play several of these songs live, and even in a reduced key it is a struggle for Dickinson to sing the songs how they are recorded on the album. The opening track just left me looking forward to the rest of the set.

“Children of the Damned” was a joy to listen to, again mostly because of the vocals. This is probably his best singing on the album. Bruce Dickinson would have to get himself on a Lance Armstrong-like drug program to ever have a chance of singing this song in this key again. This song is also where I first really noted one of the truly great and original things about this album. Iron Maiden is a classic two-guitar fueled machine. DT is doing this with one guitar and a keyboard. Check out the twin guitar/keyboard solo in this song and hear throughout as the guitar and keyboard trade solos. A magnificent treat for the ears and surprisingly seamlessly done.

The crowd revs up as the classic Patrick McGoohan intro to “The Prisoner” plays as it is on the album. Chanting along with the intro just before Portnoy launches into the classic Clive Burr drum beat, this makes for a great listen, hearing the energy of the crowd and their appreciation of this show. Awesome version as well I must say.

“22 Acacia Avenue” is another track that is a treat to hear live. Live favorites “The Number of the Beast” and “Run to the Hills” follow. These two Heavy Metal anthems go over with the crowd extremely well as you would think they would. A case could be made that these back to back songs are the two most popular Iron Maiden songs of all time. Agreed? Discuss….

Coming next is their amazing version of “Gangland”. This is easily the most ambitious moment of the show. Kind of making the song their own, they begin the song off as a piano ballad and then make a left turn and turn it into a progressive, almost jazz fusion-ish groove as the song closes out. Absolutely brilliant and is probably my favorite track on the album. The show ends with a perfect version of “Hallowed Be Thy Name”, and the performance is over.

This is not just re-hashing of a great album. This was a well thought out and rehearsed celebration of this album, allowing true Maiden fans to hear what these songs may have sounded like when the album was toured in the 80’s. A friend of mine scoffed at the idea of DT covering this album and I may have shared some of his trepidation before I heard this recording. After listening to it now several times it has become obvious that this is not only a very relevant capturing of Number of the Beast, but it makes a very simple statement. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, the players in Dream Theater have a higher level of musicianship than really any of their peers in popular music. And as listed earlier, it seems that everything Mike Portnoy does comes from the heart of just another music fan like you and I. So who is gonna come along and play one of Dream Theater’s albums track for track? Well Dream Theater of course. Who else possibly could? Good luck with that, Three Days Grace.

5/5 stars

DVD REVIEW: Classic Albums – Def Leppard – Hysteria (DVD)

Part 2 of a 2 part Def Lep extravaganza


DEF LEPPARD – Classic Albums – Hysteria (2002 Eagle Vision DVD)

Of all the Classic Albums DVDs that I own, this is one of the most frequently played. And I own a lot. In case you didn’t know, Classic Albums is a fantastic series of discs. Go back into the recording studio where the album was made, with the producer or engineer who recorded it, and the band themselves. You get to hear the original multitrack tapes deconstructed, and we get to hear the band talking about the genesis of the songs and what happened in the studio. Best of all, we get to see the band listening and discovering parts that even they forgot.

Hysteria is such a rich, textured, thick album with a long story so this DVD is an obvious slam dunk. The only thing it lacks is Mutt Lange’s knowledge (a notorious recluse). Otherwise, the band go back to the beginning with the early demos. “Animal” was sparse but remarkably recognizable while still in demo form, down to the false ending. Something like “Rocket” is deconstructed so you can hear the drum orchestra that was laid down, while Joe Elliott talks about how it was inspired. The backing vocals of “Gods of War” are laid out bare, virtually every single word sung and recorded separately! That’s the kind of album this is.

Along with that, Joe, Phil and Sav also perform bits live in the studio. This helps to illustrate the individual parts further.  It is revealed to “Love Bites” was brought to the band by Lange as a country song; you can hear the roots on this DVD.  Rick Allen is there to discuss his accident, an obviously emotional moment. Steve Clark is discussed too, and Vivian Campbell is on hand to talk about the numerous guitar parts that he inherited and has to play live.

JEFF RICHMy favourite feature of this DVD is actually in the bonus material.  It’s the chapter that covers the first shows that Leppard played after Rick Allen’s accident. Originally, Jeff Rich from Status Quo was tapped to play a second drum kit alongside Allen on stage, just in case Allen got tired, slipped out of time, or couldn’t finish the show. There were so many variables that nobody knew what would happen during what really amounted to Allen’s comeback shows. Well, for one show in the middle of nowhere, Jeff Rich was late.  If he had turned up on time, maybe Rick Allen would never have found out that he could play a full Def Leppard show on his own.  Allen did the show with no help on the drums, and he nailed it.  Rich told Allen that he didn’t need any more help, and that was it!   Jeff Rich is there to talk about that day, which was a nice touch.

Of the whole Classic Albums series, this one is certainly my favourite.

5/5 stars

REVIEW: Def Leppard – High ‘n’ Dry (1981)

Part one of a Def Leppard two-parter!

Def_Leppard_-_High_'n'_DryDEF LEPPARD – High ‘n’ Dry (1981 Polygram)

Now that Pyromania, Hysteria, Slang and Adrenalize have been remastered and reissued with bonus tracks, it is High ‘N’ Dry that needs to be given the deluxe treatment next.  The fact that Adrenalize has been given an elaborate deluxe edition, but High ‘n’ Dry hasn’t even been remastered yet, is injustice.  Any time I listen to High ‘n’ Dry, I leave with one conclusion:  This is Def Leppard’s best album.  And not only that, it’s just one of the best by any hard rock band, period.

For High ‘n’ Dry, my g-to version is my vinyl US pressing.   The CD is still in my collection, because it includes two songs not on the original LP: 1984 Remixes of “Bringin’ On The Heartbreak” and “Me and My Wine” (the versions that were used for the music videos).  So that’s cool, good enough reason to own the CD, but the LP has one more gimmick that you can’t get on CD.  The final track on side two, “No No No”, ends in an infinite loop of Joe screaming “NO!”  I love vinyl gimmicks.  I also love that the vinyl has inner sleeve photos that you don’t get on CD (even if one appears to be Rick Allen’s genitals covered in whipped cream).

This is one solid LP.  Def Leppard teamed up with Mutt Lange for the first time and his influence is palpable.  Def Leppard had been heavy before, but now they were channeling a serious AC/DC vibe.  Mutt had just produced a little album called Back In Black.  Surely it was no coincidence that High ‘n’ Dry has similar riffy and sonic qualities?  Def Leppard’s edge had yet to be blunted in their search for hits.  Instead, it had been sharpened.  On Through the Night could have been better, more tightly focused.  High ‘n’ Dry is as focused as a laser beam.  Aside from one guitar-driven power ballad (“Bringin’ On the Heartbreak”) every song seeks only to scorch.

Although there is not one single throw-away or filler track on High ‘n’ Dry, everybody has their favourites,   Mine:  The melancholy vibe of “Lady Strange” and “Mirror, Mirror (Look Into My Eyes)”.  The pedal-to-the-metal hard rock of “High ‘N’ Dry (Saturday Night)”, “Another Hit And Run”, and the instrumental “Switch 625”.  And my personal favourite song, “You Got Me Runnin'”.  I don’t know why that is so, but that’s the one right there that puts fuel in my tank.

Unlike the band that Def Leppard has become today, this album was all about the hot riffs and the Joe Elliott screams! Hard to believe it’s the same band. But, of course, today they have two different guitar players, so the meat of this band is also not the same.  Having said that, the band acquitted themselves nicely on the recent live album Viva! Hysteria.

Every Leppard fan should own High ‘n’ Dry.   Everybody who’s ever liked a Def Leppard song needs to check out High ‘n’ Dry.  Actually, anyone who breathes should check this album out at least once.  It’s on my desert island list for sure.

5/5 stars, but come on, we need a reissue!

REVIEW: Slaughter – Stick It To Ya (Definitive Remasters edition)


SLAUGHTER – Stick It To Ya (1990, 2003 Definitive Remasters edition)

“Just like a Led Zeppelin album stands up today, we hope our album stands up in 10 or 20 years.” — Mark Slaughter (1990)

I remember reading that quote in a magazine interview and thinking, “Well, I doubt THAT will happen.”

Maybe Mark was partly right though, as a handful nostalgists do still listen to Slaughter, in particular this debut and the followup The Wild Life. However, for Mark to compare this to Led Zeppelin I was simply short sighted and hopelessly optimistic. It never was going to be another Led Zeppelin I. This is a decent debut album, maybe even a pretty good one. Listening to it, there are certain things that are really grating today. Mark’s vocals are still hard to swallow as he really gets up there with these shrill squealy high notes. Dana’s bass is too happy and bouncy for my kind of rock. The guitar playing of Tim Kelly is nothing to write home about, rest his soul, just another typical early 90’s rock guitar player with very little identity of his own.

What made Slaughter work was the songwriting of Mark and Dana, and most of it still stands up. A lot of this material — straight up hard rock with a little flourish — is solid. Some songs are simply too pop for me today, such as “You Are The One” and “Spend My Life”. However, mercifully, there’s only one ballad! “Fly To The Angels” is nothing special as a ballad, but it has a little more atmosphere than the average and of course lyrically it had integrity. I don’t think it’s making anybody’s top ten ballads list, unless one has a personal connection to the lyrics, but it’s not too sappy and like I said, there’s only one!

Some songs, such as “Up All Night” and “Eye To Eye” have some balls and groove. If only the production was a little heavier, these would be bonafide classics. However, even on “Eye To Eye”, Dana’s happy bouncy bass lines brighten things up too much.   Not enough groove in the bass!  There’s also some 80’s style fast and speedy numbers such as “Loaded Gun” (with some just awful lyrics). Also awful in the lyrical department were “She Wants More” (which is a shameless AC/DC ripoff musically), and possibly “Burning Bridges”.

“Bridges”, it must be remembered, was a cutting attack on former bandmate Vinnie Vincent, from the Vinnie Vincent Invasion days. The original album even had a disclaimer on it so that the band wouldn’t get sued! “So you wanna play another solo, huh? Well not here, pal!” Disclaimer aside, it was pretty obvious who the song was actually about, and statements from Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons since then have only confirmed Vinnie’s character traits. Shame that the lyrics are no longer included with the album.  I guess that’s why the disclaimer is also missing! Instead, you get decent liner notes from Mark and Dana.  Inside they credit Kiss drummer Eric Carr for helping to get the band on the opening slot of the Hot in the Shade tour.  I didn’t know that before!

Personal highlights:
“Up All Night”, “Eye To Eye”, “Desperately”, “Thinking of June (instrumental)”.  These are all great tunes in my books, particularly the darkly cool single, “Up All Night”.

Onto the bonus material!  These two bonus tracks were included on the original CD too, but not the cassette or LP versions of Stick It To Ya.

14. Fly to the Angels [Acoustic Version]
15. Wingin’ It

These remain intact on this edition. The acoustic version of “Fly” mostly just ditches the electric guitars but is otherwise the same backing track. “Wingin’ It” (my favourite) is an accapella joke tune, only a minute in length, but absolutely hilarious to this day. I wish the album had been re-sequenced so that it still closes the album, as this is an obvious closer!

After that, there are four demos. These demos are remarkable in how fully realized they are. Unfortunately that doesn’t make them interesting listens. It is amazing that Mark and Dana had the demos down so perfectly from the get-go, but as a listener, it’s like hearing the same song twice. In the case of “Fly To The Angels”, three times on one album which is way too much. Perhaps some live B-sides should have been included instead, or the track “Shout It Out” from the Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey soundtrack. I am sure you can think of your own bonus material that you’d like to hear.

Remastering is fine and dandy, packaging is great apart from the deletion of the lyrics.  However you can read those just by Googling these days, and I think I’d rather have the liner notes from Mark and Dana.

3/5 stars, worth buying for fans of the era. Everybody else should steer clear.

Part 279: Record Store Gallery Deux

RECORD STORE TALES Part 279:  Record Store Gallery Deux

I found another whack of old photos going back to the record store days.  Allow me to take you on a guided tour!

Gallery #1:  This would have been 2002.  The tragus was the most painful piercing I experienced.  It was the only time that somebody said, “he’s turning white, get him some juice to drink.”  The piercer was my friend Lois who works at Stigmata in Guelph.  She was apprenticing, with me as a test subject.  She even gave me the labret stud that they pierced it with, so the experience was free!  Note that Marillion shirt, and my then-sveldt shape!

Gallery #2:  A variety of sushi and fancy dinners with our Niagara Falls store owner Lemon Kurri Klopek, Guinness’ Book alumnus Sweet Pepper Klopek, the British piercer Sarge, and the mysterious man known only as Mr. Lebowski.

I look like a goth Leprechaun.

Gallery #3:  New arrivals! My birthday 2004! The Paul Stanley interview picture disc was from a friend in York, England named Kim. The Marillion singles were a birthday gift from a guy in France named Charly. And the Marillion Marbles deluxe edition was a gift for me, from me, that happened to arrive at the right time!

 

Last Words:  I love that this photo gallery contains three completely different facial hair styles:  A simple goatee, my Ian Paice mutton chops, and finally a full beard.  Cool!

REVIEW: Ozzy Osbourne – Scream (2011 tour edition)

OZZY OSBOURNE – Scream (2011 tour edition)

If you liked Ozzy’s previous album, the quite good Black Rain, then I think you might like Scream even better. As everybody knew, it was Ozzy’s first new studio album of original material without Zakk Wylde since he joined the band. (Jerry Cantrell did play on the perfectly awful covers album Under Cover.) Many wanted to know, “Is Gus G any good?”

Yup.

Ozzy’s never had a bad guitar player, and Gus G is a speed demon. I don’t know alot about the guy, but he seems to emulate Zakk with those “Wylde” bends, yet he also has this fast neo-classical vibe. If you hear that Ozzy live EP that came around the same time (iTunes Festival 2010) you will find that he really nails a Zakk-like vibe on the old Ozzy stuff. On the Sabbath classics, he does justice to Iommi’s chunky riffs. And he’s fast…really fast. In other words, he is kind of the best of all worlds. I’m not saying he’s better than Zakk, because personality goes a long way.  I’m just telling you what I hear.

SCREAM_0002Songwise, Ozzy wrote the album again with Canadian producer Kevin Churko, with some co-writes by Adam Wakeman. Churko also played drums even though Tommy Clufetos was credited. I really like Scream, and I can’t say there’s anything weak on it.  I’ve had a chance to live with it for a few years and I still enjoy it.  Maybe a couple filler tracks here and there, but nothing I hated. Most of the rhythms are chunky and staggered, gated like some nu-metal band but still well within the realm of Oz. The excellent “Soul Sucker” and “Diggin’ Me Down” in particular emphasize this modern sound.  I happen to like both songs a lot.

Yet there are surprises on here. I wouldn’t call them “ballads” per se, but “Time” and “Life Won’t Wait” change the pace. “Time” re-emphasizes Ozzy’s old love of the Beach Boys with its lush “ooh, ooh” backing vocals. “Life Won’t Wait” is a softer, bass-driven mid-tempo rocker with an amazing chorus as only Ozzy can deliver. The bass line really reminds me of another song, “Take a Picture” by Filter.

The rest of the album is heavy, maybe Ozzy’s heaviest. At times it reminded me of Zombie, at others, Sabbath. In general though it is identifiably Ozzy. “Let Me Hear You Scream,” the lead single, is a fast heavy Ozzy rocker designed for firing up the concert crowd. While Scream does not worm its way into your noggin the way Blizzard of Ozz did, it’s still a pretty good record. Ozzy seems very proud of it, and rightly so.

Lyrically, Ozzy’s in familiar territory. His lyrics to me are always underrated (whether he writes them or not). On Scream, he has tracks for his beloved audience as always: “Let Me Hear You Scream” and the touching outro “I Love You All”. On others he’s talking about religion. “Diggin’ Me Down” asks the question, how long must we wait for Jesus Christ to come back? “Crucify” seems to be about crooked preachers again, or perhaps just those who prey upon the desperate.

SCREAM_0004This being Ozzy, a “tour edition” was released not too long after I bought the original. In fact, I bought Scream as a digital download just to get the bonus track “One More Time”, a heart-racing rocker with a great tempo. I also bought this album on Japanese import to get the “Jump The Moon” (not really exceptional) bonus track. Hindsight is always 20/20, and I should have learned from the past album, Black Rain. It too had bonus tracks for different markets, and it too was reissued with all bonus tracks intact on some kind of tour edition.  So Ozzy’s done it again, with this “tour edition” designed to promote his American tour. You can tell by the missing black flag, now replaced with an American banner. Ozzy has also stuck on a “new” song called “Hand of the Enemy” which to me wasn’t as good as the rest of the material on the album. Besides that, there are four live tracks: “Let Me Hear You Scream”, “Bark At The Moon”, “No More Tears” and the Sabbath classic “Fairies Wear Boots”.  This is the second released live version of “Let me Hear You Scream”, though this is the first version available on a physical release.   All four live tracks are great, with Ozzy’s newest band playing competently with their own flavour. Best of the live tracks is “Fairies Wear Boots”, on which Gus G perfectly captures the guitar riff. Plus it’s a song that Ozzy plays less frequently, so that’s a bonus.

I also bought this album on double vinyl. The vinyl edition omits the live songs, but includes an exclusive single edit of “Life Won’t Wait”. So in total, I ended up with Scream four times!  (I gave the Japanese import to my friend Peter.)

4/5 stars

MOVIE REVIEW: The Black Hole (1979)

THE BLACK HOLE_0001THE BLACK HOLE (1979)

Directed by Gary Nelson

45I can’t help it, I’m nostalgic for this movie. Long before I saw it, I had “The Story of…” on 7″ record. Remember those?  Kids today have no idea what I’m talking about do they!

I think Roddy McDowell is one of the most underrated actors ever, and I could probably listen to him reading his grocery list for two hours and still be entertained. McDowell and the legendary Slim Pickens both voiced robots in this movie (shameless R2D2 ripoffs, except they can fly!*) and the touch of classic, recognizable voices makes the movie that much easier to swallow.

Having said that, The Black Hole isn’t great sci-fi, but it’s not bad. The USS Cygnus (great name, if you know what it refers to) has been missing in space for 20 years. However, the exploration vessel Palomino has just stumbled upon it, seemingly derelict. It is also inexplicably hovering in front of a black hole! Impossible! And as Palomino approaches, Cygnus turns on her lights. She is not a derelict after all!

In fact, she is crewed entirely by robots, except for the commander. Dr. Hans Reinhardt (man, I love when mad scientists have German names!) commands this motley crew, a genius who has discovered the secrets of anti-gravity. But can he be trusted? Dr. Alex Durant (the wonderful Anthony Perkins) seems to trust him, but certain things do not add up. Why does he have gardens on board the ship, food enough to feed an army? Why do his robots have funerals? The psychic Dr. Kate doesn’t trust him either. Her father died under his command, and the stories just don’t sound right.

The starship design in this movie is just stellar, and very unique. All girders and lights, Cygnus is a monstrosity, with depth and foreboding beauty. The smaller Palomino follows similar designs, but is more capsule-shaped. I’ve never seen anything like these two ships before, and the level of detail is impressive.

There are some great performances here by the afformentioned Perkins, and Maximillion Schell cheeses up the place perfectly as Reinhardt. If you’re a mad scientist you may as well go for it.  This isn’t high cinema.  Also noteworthy are Robert Forster as the commander of Palomino, and Ernest Borgnine as the journalist Harry Booth. Absolutely horrible are Joseph Bottoms as Lieutenant Charles Pizer, and Yvette Mimieux as Dr. Kate McCrae. It’s obvious that they’re supposed to be the Han Solo and the token female of the crew, but man…they can’t act. I guess that’s why you’ve never heard of them?

Yeah, it’s a shameless Star Wars rip off. And yeah, the physics of space are ignored when convenient. (Creative viewers can probably rationalize how the crew still can run around the ship as a giant hole is ripped through the roof…forcefields maybe?) And yeah, the robots are kind of cutesy, especially Slim Pickens’ Old Bob. But I’ll be damned if this still isn’t a fun movie to watch. Fun, but dark. The very un-Disney ending evokes heaven, hell, and everything in between while making no logical sense. (The comic book that I had as a kid had a different ending, a more hopeful one, where the crew ended up in an alternate universe to explore.)

It’s not for everybody, certainly not for modern audiences spoiled by CG and flash. But it’s not as bad as I once thought!

3/5 stars

* Yes, I know R2-D2 flew in Episode II.  Fuck Episode II.

Part 278: The Return of Dan Dan the Box Set Man

RECORD STORE TALES Part 278:  The Return of Dan Dan the Box Set Man

Astute LeBrain readers may recall that one of my customers, Dan aka “Box Set Man”, always had cool stuff in his collection.  It was he that gave me an original Ritchie Blackmore photo from a private collection in Part 168: The Constipated Ritchie Blackmore.  In January 2005 he appeared at my door once again to sell me some goodies.  While I did not record everything Dan sold to me that day, I did take note of the five that I was going to add to my personal collection!

Please excuse me if I sounded a little over excited.  I always tried to journal honestly!

Date: 2005/01/11 21:43

WOW.

HOLY SHIT.

Oh God oh God oh God!

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE AMAZING ITEMS THAT CAME INTO WORK TODAY.  I am going to have an expensive January.  I am going to MISS this part of my job. [I had applied to several jobs.]

Here’s the complete list of cool shit that I need to buy:

1. DVD – Harold & Kumar.  We got in two used copies already!  [It was only released the week before, on Jan 4.]

2. CDs – Deep Purple 25th Annivesary box set–JAPANESE IMPORT BABY!  Not much on there that I “need” but it does have all three edits of “Burn”, in fact it looks to have every single edit from every 7″.  Also has two mono mixes.  Must have.

3. CD – Jethro Tull – Bursting Out-Live (remastered)

4. CD – Jethro Tull – Jethro Tull Christmas Album

5. CD – Queen – On Fire: Live At The Hollywood Bowl

One cool thing is that I still have all five of these items, all still in the same condition that I found them in!  Thanks Dan, wherever you may be….

Part 277.5: Klassik Kwote – The Dandy Douche Strikes Back

RECORD STORE TALES Part 277.5:
Klassik Kwote – The Dandy Douche Strikes Back

SIXTY SIXI’m a pretty big Led Zeppelin fan, having bought all their albums more than once (and at least once more) over the years.  When this Robert Plant CD came out in November 2003, it was high on my radar.  I didn’t own any Plant solo albums (beyond The Honeydrippers), but wanted something of his in my collection.  This compilation of hits and rarities was perfect for my needs.

I was listening to it in the store one afternoon when Dandy sauntered in.  Always eager to criticize my musical selections on any given day, he had this to say about Robert Plant’s Sixty Six to Timbuktu:

“I was talking to my dad about why Led Zeppelin sucked,” he said.  “Now I know.  It’s not Led Zeppelin that sucked, it was just Robert Plant all along.”

Thoughts?  Weigh in below with a comment!

IMG_20140316_161250

WTF SEARCH TERMS: A Mixture of Elements edition

It’s the regular feature where I reveal weird search terms that somehow led people here.  These are the WTF Search Terms!

WTF Search Terms XVIII:  A Mixture of Elements edition

Welcome back to WTF Search Terms.  Today, instead of presenting search terms of a similar theme like I normally do, I thought I’d just give you a mixture of different basic elemental varieties that I get every day at mikeladano.com!  A little bit of normal, a little bit of sex, and a little bit of disgusting.  (For the last installment, Whole Lotta WTF edition, click here.)

SAM_003610. who was the topless girl on kiss: exposed

There was more than one, wasn’t there?

9. worlds best pictures

I’m flattered that Google led somebody here to find the world’s best pictures, but I don’t know why.

8. dwarfs extrem

Whatever floats your boat man…

7. sexgorilla and girls

…Except that, that sounds really gross.

6. sreet bob special edition

A true WTF, this one has me baffled as to what they’re looking for.

5. got his pierced

Can you be more specific?

4. do people usually get both tragus pierced

How the fuck should I know?

3. dad number like scary carrie

Once again I have no idea what this guy’s looking for.

2. www. boog bobs milke in the baby video.com

I’m not sure, it just sounds gross.

1. dolly madison, porn

GAH!

DOLLY