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The Writer’s Room: Outside the Writer’s Room

The Writer’s Room: Outside the Writer’s Room

Each one of the four was holding John T. Snow down by a limb.  The normally kind southern gentleman was struggling to escape.

“I’ll kill them!  I’ll kill them both!  Let me go!” screamed Snow.

The friends each struggled to keep him stable.  Mike had the left arm, Harrison the right.  Meanwhile Aaron and Metal Man had a leg each.  Each man grunted at the strain of holding John Snow down.

“I don’t understand!” protested Aaron.  “He’s gone crazy!  What happened?”

“He he hasn’t been the same…urgh!” Mike strained under the strength of John Snow’s left arm.  “He hasn’t been the same since he returned from that weird portal!”

“I fear something terrible has happened,” added Harrison the Mad Lego Artist.

“I second that,” said the 80s Metal Man as he gasped for breath.  “I can’t keep holding him!”

“Let…me…GO!” screamed John Snow again.  “I’ll kill them both!”

“No more Simmons soda for this guy,” joked Aaron.  Nobody laughed.

Suddenly the board room doors slammed open.  A team of Police ran in, guns out, and fanned about the room.

“Everyone stand back and release the suspect!  He’s coming with us!”

With quick and efficient movements, the experienced crisis team swiftly had the manic John Snow restrained, and they escorted him to an adjacent room.  It was over in what felt like seconds.  Everything happened so fast.  Before long, Snow was calmed and seated.  The Police Captain came to speak to Mike.

“We’re taking him to hospital for observation and questioning,” informed the Captain.  “He will be safe and in good hands.  You are all welcome to follow and wait there for results.  I don’t think there’s any reason to press charges.  That doesn’t seem to be appropriate for this situation.  We’ll get your friend some medical help and we’ll go from there.  The hospital will keep him in custody for the time being.”

“That sounds good to us,” said Mike.  For some reason he was picturing himself as a Police captain in a strange Noir-like universe where Harrison had a long handlebar moustache.  A funny vision.  He snapped back to reality.  “Thank you officer, Harrison and I will go.  These guys can go home to their patient families!”  He then paused a moment and looked across the room at John Snow.  “Can I…can I go speak to him a moment?”

“Just a moment,” answered the Captain as he motioned Mike to speak to John.  Mike walked across the room and put him arm on Snow’s shoulder.

“Hey buddy,” he said in a calm voice.  Snow nodded back in acknowledgement.  He was sweating.  He looked scared.  “These guys are going to take care of you, but don’t worry.  We’ll be at the hospital if you need us.  We won’t be far.  We’ll be following in my car.  OK man?”

John nodded again, but said nothing.  The Police escorted him while Mike and Harrison prepared to leave.

“If eternity should fail, we have his back,” said Harrison as he fastened his jacket.  “I’m ready.”

Mike and Harrison were exhausted.

It had been 16 hours.  They were told nothing except that John Snow was undergoing emergency surgery.  That was last night.  It was now past noon.  Mike had managed to get four hours sleep, but Harrison was having trouble adjusting to this time zone.  He fidgeted nervously with some Lego bricks he had in his pocket.  Mike was slouched so far down in his chair that he was all but horizontal.

A doctor emerged in mask and scrubs.  There were traces of blood on his tie.  He saw the pair slouching in their plastic chairs.

“Are you gentlemen here for John Snow?”

“Yes doctor!” answered Harrison immediately while Mike slowly got himself up into a more dignified position.  “What has happened?”

The doctor held up a small metallic oval.  It was egg-shaped, but longer and narrow.  It gleamed like a mirror with no visible markings or seams.

“We removed this from his skull.  There was no entrance wound.  It’s not a bullet.  We have no idea how it got in there.”

Mike’s jaw dropped, as if he could identify the object.  Harrison listened intently.

“The first thing we did when you first arrived was schedule a brain scan.  When sudden, violent behaviour happens unexpectedly, we look for brain trauma.  That’s when we found this.  We spent 12 hours extracting it.  Mr. Snow is unconscious in recovery.  He is going to be fine.  You may see him when he awakes.  But this…this is extremely troubling.

“May I?” asked Mike as he got out his camera to take a photo.  The doctor nodded and Mike snapped a shot of the silver object.

“This is going to Police headquarters for analysis,” said the doctor as he placed the object in a baggie.  “You guys may as well go get some rest and come back in a few hours when John is ready to be moved.  We’ll call you if there are any developments.”

“Thank you doctor,” said Mike and Harrison in unison.  They both looked exhausted and hungry, but with relief now entering their bodies as the adrenaline faded away.

Mike and Harrison sat with their drinks.

“So, Harrison,” asked Mike after a sip from his straw.   He held up his phone, and opened it to the photo of the silver capsule.  “Do you know what this is?”

Harrison squinted but shook his head.  “I must confess I do not.”

“I do,” dropped Mike like a bomb.

“Do tell,” said Harrison.  He sprinkled some candy sprinkles on his bagel to make his own form of Australian Fairy Bread.

“You’re not going to believe this…or maybe you will, given we’re seemingly seeing our stories come to life,” began Mike.  “This object is impossible…it is fictional.  It does not exist.  It is…” he paused for dramatic effect, “…a cerebro shell.”

Harrison’s expressionless face was without reaction.

“A cerebro shell.  From Transformers Generation One?  The Decepticons used them to control people.  The Insecticon named Bombshell would insert these into a victim’s brain, and control that victim with it.  Very hard to remove surgically, which is why it took so long.”

Harrison laughed.  “No, really, what is it?” he responded.

“I’m telling you what it is!” answered Mike.  “That, my Australian wunderkind, is a cerebro shell from the Insecticon named Bombshell.  A Transformer has entered our universe from theirs, and attempted to take control of John T. Snow, of our writers’s room.  And you know what that means.”

Harrison did indeed know what that meant.

“That means…they are trying to influence the story we are writing!  The Adventures of Tee Bone Man!  John said he wanted to kill ‘both of them’!  The Decepticons want Tee Bone Man and Superdekes dead!  But…why?”

“Don’t you see?” answered Mike.  “They’re real!  All of them!  And we’re writing the final battle of their reality!  Tee Bone Man and Superdekes, in some universe somewhere…they exist!  And their stories are playing out exactly as we are writing them!”

“We can’t let them lose,” answered Harrison.  “Tee Bone Man and Superdekes could be the only thing holding the evil back from invading our universe!”

Mike put his coffee down.  “Dear God…Harrison…you’re right!  The ultimate stakes here could be our very universe!”

Harrison thought a moment.  He had an idea.  “Last time we talked, I suggested we shut down Tee Bone Man and stop this mess.  What happens if we do that?”

“I fear utter disaster awaits,” said Mike gravely.  “If we stopped writing Tee Bone Man, there is nothing stopping them from finishing the story for us, with his death!  And then nothing would stand between them and our universe!  Every universe!  Harrison…the entire multiverse may depend on us writing this story to its very end.  And it has to end with Tee Bone Man and Superdekes winning.  No matter the cost.  We have to finish!”

Harrison wiped sprinkles from his moustache.  “Then that is what we shall do,” he said with great resolve.  “I suggest we begin to move our pieces into position for the coming battle.”

Mike nodded.  “I agree.  We have characters to introduce, others to bring home, and events to set into motion.  Now’s the time.”

Mike’s phone buzzed.

“It’s the hospital.  John is awake.  Let’s go.”

John was seated in his bed, white bandages over his head.  He was sipping a Gene Simmons ginger ale from a bottle with a straw.  He smile grew wide when he saw the two friends enter his room.

“Harrison!  Mike!  Am I ever glad to see you guys!”

“We’re glad to see you too!” said Harrison.

“We were worried!” added Mike.  The two took seats on opposite sides of Snow’s bed.

“Do you guys know what happened?” asked John.

“I do,” said Mike, “But let’s not worry about that right now.  You need to rest.  Harrison and I have the situation in hand.”

“You do?” asked John, turning his head from Mike to Harrison in search of answers.  “What situation?”  Mike and Harrison exchanged glances, but chose not to say too much.

“Everything is going to be fine,” calmed Harrison.  “You’re safe.  Nobody will be messing with your brain again.”

“And we brought you a gift!” exclaimed Mike while removing something from a bag.  “You’re going to love this.”  He handed Snow a small package.

“What is it?” asked John as he tore the paper open.

“It’s a new mini-sized Gene Simmons Vault!  All the songs at a fraction of the cost!”

Snowman looked at his gift and smiled.  “Do you guys know how much I paid for my original Simmons Vault?”

“Well now you have two!” said Harrison.  “One to look at, and one to play!”

“Thanks guys,” said Snowman.  “Sincerely.  My goal is to collect at least two copies of everything Gene ever made.   Thank you.”

A nurse popped her head in the room.

“Sorry folks, visiting hours are over.  You can come back tomorrow.”

“See ya, John.  Have a good rest.  We’ll be back.”  Mike and Harrison said their goodbyes, and exited into an empty corridor.

“We have a big problem,” said Harrison as the two walked.  “We stacked the deck against the super heroes in our story.  We have Satan, Trump’s clone, Shinzon, Darth Tyranus, who has the Force I must remind you, and of course the Eater of Worlds.  Now, we just introduced Doctor K as the latest villain.  I don’t think anyone has faced such danger in the history of fiction!”

“Then it’s time we even the odds,” answered Mike.  “Let’s bring them back.”

“Bring who back?” answered Harrison, puzzled.

“Us!  Bring us back!  The heroes need Moustachio and the Brain again.”

“But the Brainiac is dead,” said Harrison.  “You insisted we kill him in dramatic fashion.”

“You think there’s only one Brainiac in this multiverse?” chided Mike.  “Let’s get plotting!”

“Now that’s a sentiment I can get behind,” said Harrison.  “Off to the Toys R Us store.  I need bricks.  Lots and lots and lots of bricks.”

“Let’s go!” said Mike.  “You know, the real life Toys R Us store in Kitchener is the location where we first introduced your clone, Shinzon, in our stories?”

“I do remember that detail, yes,” answered Harrison.

“I knew you would.  To the Lego section!” said Mike.  “Allons-y!”

And with that, the two friends set about their business, as forces of both good and evil began to align for the final battle.

To be continued….

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

 

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Screening: Transformers “Overload!” A new original animation featuring the music of Max the Axe

The History of the Transformers + Top Five = AstroLeBrainTrain Action!

A long show with lots of visuals tonight, and an absolute treat for fans of robots in disguise!  For those of you who joined Rob Daniels, Harrison the Mad Metal Man and myself — thank you!  From the early Japanese origins, up to the present day, we took you on a guided tour of the Transformers brand.  Plenty of vintage and modern toys on display, and genuine toy ads from back in the day too.  (Facebook copyright strike — they killed the stream.  Sorry about that, but you can still watch on YouTube.)

Show format:  the first hour and 15 minutes are a history lesson.  The lists begin then!  Three lists, 15 picks, and no repeat!

This was an absolute blast.  Thanks for watching.

More Than Meets the LeBrain Train? Top Five Transformers Toys

The LeBrain Train: 2000 Words or More with Mike, Rob & Harrison

Episode 90 – Top Five Transformers Toys

Let’s roll out! I know this episode will alienate some of our regular viewers, but it’s been one that Harrison and I have talked about doing for at least a year now. And since it’s Christmas time, it feels like the perfect opportunity to talk about some of our favourite toys.

Transformers toys, specifically. We’ll talk about the history of the brand, and bring us up to the present day. Comics, cartoons & movies will be discussed. But the actual Top Five list this week will be our favourite toys. Expect some show & tell, and I’ll also be running some vintage TV ads!

On the panel:

With two different generations of fans on board, this is sure to be a show of Cybertronian proportions!

Friday December 10, 7:00 PM E.S.T. on YouTube, Facebook and now Twitter!

GALLERY: Transformers Universe Hound & Ravage (+ Reprolabels & add-on kits)
Ravage in microcassette mode

Ravage in microcassette mode

This photo gallery (entirely music related I assure you) is by request of Jason, who is interested in getting these toys.  Below you can see the the following pieces:

  • Hasbro Transformers Universe Hound and Ravage set.
  • Reprolabels sticker set.
  • Dr. Wu DW-P02 Duel add-on kit (silver gun and missles)
  • MGS-03 add-on kit (darker guns and missiles)

How are they music related?  One of them transforms into a cassette, while the other one plays a wicked guitar solo on the electric axe, as you can see below!  Also note Hound’s cool light-piped eyes.  Nifty eh?

Teenage Wasteland
Light-piped eyes
MGS-03 and Dr. Wu kits
Basic Hound
Reprolabels on the hood
Two pistols
Dual missile configuration
Ravage with silver Dr. Wu missiles
Universe Hound & Ravage with Reprolabels
Villain vs. hero
Heavily armed
Overhead view
Gas cans and guns
Rear guard
Plastic box for Dr. Wu kit
Reprolabels dash details
Reprolabel dashboard
I love the seat detail
Ravage stored (captured) on Jeep bed
Hound on display

Part 225: Bait & Switch

WEIRD FOO EP_0001

RECORD STORE TALES Part 225:  Bait & Switch

One Wednesday afternoon in 1997, I was working alone. A gentleman in his mid-20’s walked into my store. He browsed the hip-hop section and I asked him if he needed any help finding anything. He said no, and was pleasant enough. About 10 minutes later, he approached the counter to make a purchase.

I knew immediately there was a problem. In his hands was a used copy of Puff Daddy’s brand new smash hit album, No Way Out. It had one of our Bargain Bin stickers on it, priced at $5.99. However the album was a fairly new release, and any used copies we had were always priced at $11.99. I’d never put one of them in my Bargain Bin, ever at this point. You just didn’t throw a new release into a sale bin. As Puffy said, “It’s all about the Benjamins.”

I couldn’t rule out staff error, so I double checked. Each price tag had a stock number on it. That stock number told me the location of the actual CD; the discs were all kept safely behind the counter.

Sure enough, I referred to the stock number which led me to a completely different CD, one that was common for our Bargain Bin. It wasn’t staff error. This meant that somebody switched the Puff Daddy price tag with another CD, from our Bargain Bin.

I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

“OK, I have a problem here,” I began, as gently as I could. After all, I had no way of knowing for sure that this guy switched the tags himself. It was probable that he would, very few people would switch a price tag and leave it. I could even see where the tag was peeled off and re-applied. “This CD isn’t actually $5.99. It’s supposed to say $11.99. It looks to me like someone switched the price tags. I’m not saying it was you…I’m sorry about this…but I can’t sell you this disc for $5.99. $5.99 is less than we actually paid for it.”

He shrugged. “That’s not my problem. You have to honor the price tag.”

“This price tag,” I countered, “links back to a CD by Hole. I can sell you that CD for $5.99, but not Puff Daddy. This is a brand new release, we never put new releases out in our Bargain Bin.”

Then he got fancy. “Are you familiar with the Bait & Switch law?”

I was. From Wikipedia:

First, customers are “baited” by merchants’ advertising products or services at a low price, but when customers visit the store, they discover that the advertised goods are not available, or the customers are pressured by sales people to consider similar, but higher priced items (“switching”).

“This isn’t a Bait & Switch,” I argued. “Somebody else switched the price tag. Like I said, this tag right here links back to Hole, not Puffy. I can sell you Hole for $5.99, for Puffy, you’d pay $11.99. Again, I’m not saying you switched it. But somebody did. I’m sorry about that but I can’t lose money on this CD because somebody switched a price tag on me.”

“Legally, you are obligated to let me have that CD for $5.99. You’re in violation of Bait & Switch laws. Do you want me to get the cops involved?”

I knew he wouldn’t do that. “You can do that if you want, but what’s to stop me from going over to Walmart, taking a price tag from a $2 bag of chips, and putting it on a CD myself? Would Walmart have to sell me that CD for $2?”

Cool as a cucumber, he just shrugged.

It was at that moment that my boss walked in.

“What seems to be the problem here?” he asked.

I explained the whole situation, how somebody switched the price tag, and how he wanted Puffy for $5.99. I explained how I was 100% certain of the situation, and how the stock code on the price tag led me to a $5.99 Hole CD.

One issue that I had with my boss was that he didn’t always stick up for store managers in situations like this. I could never predict if he would stick up for us or cave.  So what did he do? He apologized profusely and he rang in the CD for $7.99 or something like that. The customer was happy as could be, so polite.

He strolled out knowing he’d won. I wonder who he scammed next?

I walked over to the Puff Daddy section to see if I could find evidence of the missing but correct price tag. Sure enough, what did I find? A Hole CD, with a poorly applied $11.99 price tag on it, in the hip-hop section not far from Puffy. And what did that $11.99 tag’s stock code lead me to? The spot that the Puffy disc occupied.

An $8 scam was hardly going to break the bank, but I felt about two feet tall, because I knew I was right. I never let anybody else scam me in that way again.  But that’s another story…

Motherlode of Christmas Rock!

I have 31 discs of music to listen to now.  And a whole lotta other goodies.  Here we go!

First up – books.  Peter Criss’ Makeup To Breakup, and the latest from Ripley’s Believe It or Not and Guiness’ Book of World Records.   I’ve leafed through Peter’s book — all he seems to do is bitch about Paul and Gene.  Review will come.

Next, Queen.  A total of 8 discs of awesome remastered Queen to listen to:  The Miracle, Jazz, A Night at the Opera, and Live Killers!

Next up, Rush.  6 discs in each of these two Sector box sets, including 2 DVD’s in 5.1 surround, plus 2 discs of 2112.  Awesome.  (I already have Sector 2 and have a review of that coming in the next few days.)

And the rest:  The 4 disc Cult Love Omnibus Edition.  Thin Lizzy’s Life Live (2 discs), Jon Lord’s Concerto for Group and Orchestra, and the new Rage Against The Machine XX edition (2 discs plus a DVD).

But that’s not all.  Check out this Kiss lunchbox, these movies and vintage G1 Transformers 1988 “Bugly” action figure.

Lastly my folks got me this neat Joby camera tripod.  This is going to come in handy when I make my next Transformers stop motion animated movie.  I did a brief 15 second screen test — check that out too!


Hope your Christmas was filled with happiness, love, joy, and rock!