One more list for 2015 arrived at the last minute! Enjoy the rock as prescribed by Dr. Dave Haslam.
GETTING MORE TALE #459.4: 2015 Year-End Lists, part 4 – Dr. Dave Haslam!
First of all – it had to happen sooner or later, but when it does it is still a shock. RIP Lemmy. A true lifer for the rock and roll.
10. Paradise Lost – The Plague Within 9. Drudkh – A Furrow Cut Short 8. Panopticon – Autumn Eternal 7. Mgla – Exercises in Futility 6. Iron Maiden – The Book of Souls 5.Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats – The Night Creeper 4.High on Fire – Luminiferous 3. Deafheaven – New Bermuda 2. Ghost – Meliora 1.Clutch – Psychic Warfare
Honourable Mentions:
Faith No More – Sol Invictus
Lamb of God – VII: Sturm und Drang
Failure – The Heart is a Monster
Baroness – Purple
Elder – Lore
Dishonourable Mention:
Slayer – Repentless (without Lombardo and Hanneman they are a shadow of their former selves.)
GETTING MORE TALE #459.2: 2015 Year-End Lists, part 2 – Uncle Meat!
List #2 for 2015 comes from the Uncle of the Meat. He needs no introduction here. Looking for some integrity? Then have a gander below.
Meat, Bucky, Tom
UNCLE MEAT’S TOP FIVE ALBUMS of 2015
5.The Book of Souls – Iron Maiden 4.Meloria – Ghost 3.Terraplane – Steve Earle 2.High Country – The Sword 1.Psychic Warfare – Clutch
UNCLE MEAT’S TOP TEN TV SHOWS of 2015
10.Ash vs. Evil Dead 9.F is for Family 8.Daredevil 7.W/ Bob and David 6.True Detective 5.Mr. Robot 4.The Affair 3.Better Call Saul 2.Game of Thrones 1.Fargo
UNCLE MEAT’S TOP TEN MOVIES of 2015
10.Straight Outta Compton 9.Ant-Man 8.Trainwreck 7. Avengers: Age of Ultron 6.Amy 5.Spotlight 4.Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3.The Revenant 2.Jaco: The Movie 1.Love and Mercy
GETTING MORE TALE #459.1: 2015 Year-End Lists, part 1 – Iron Tom Sharpe!
Here we are once again. It’s the end of the year, and that means it’s time for lists!
Iron Tom Sharpe, the near-legendary host of Sausagefest, needs no introduction here. I like to describe him as “one of the Jedi masters who instructed me” in the ways of rock. A former Record Store owner himself, Tom knows his shit. So listen up!
But which one is Tom?
IRON TOM’S TOP SIX(!) ALBUMS of 2015
6.The Atomic Bitchwax – Gravitron 5. Iron Maiden – The Book Of Souls 4.Baroness – Purple 3. Ghost – Meliora 2. Clutch – Psychic Warfare 1. The Sword – High Country
IRON TOM’S TOP SIX(!) TV SHOWS of 2015
6.The Last Man On Earth 5.W/ Bob and David 4.Mr. Robot 3.Fargo 2.Rick and Morty 1.Game Of Thrones
Come back tomorrow for another great list…from the man, the myth, the stinky putrid legend: UNCLE MEAT!
CREED – My Own Prison (1997 Wind-Up, originally Blue Collar)
Have you ever gotten flak for an artist or genre of music that you enjoy? Not a whole lot of fun, is it? Try to imagine that negative opinion not just as common, but as something resembling the general consensus. One that not only discounts anyone that disagrees, but actively mocks and ridicules them. Ask anyone you meet on the street: who are the “worst” musical artists of all time? Chances are, one particular scapegoat of late-90s’ rock will come up… To say that Creed is a controversial band is putting it lightly. Perhaps no group in the history of rock and roll has been a casualty of its own fame quite the same way the band composed of vocalist Scott Stapp, guitarist Mark Tremonti, drummer Scott Phillips and bassist Brian Marshall have. While the amount of fans often rivalled the number of critics in their heyday, as of 2015 the predominant word is negative. Whether it be from fans moving on or the band’s hiatus keeping them from speaking up for themselves, anything positive is rare. Case in point: Scott Stapp’s recent mental breakdown in December featured the most press coverage the frontman has had to endure since the turn of the millennium. EVERYBODY had something to say about it, oftentimes hateful. What of him now? He’s pulled himself back together and aside from his own personal PR, only one or two websites actually reported the news. I’m sure more than a few readers of this review will think he’s still whacked out on drugs, despite spending the last five months at home with his family.
Unfortunately, Creed’s status as something of a pariah maintains that I can’t just hop into the music and give you my personal take. If I were to do so, I’d likely have more than a few commenters simply reiterating age-old hate for the band or questioning the validity of my perspective because I’m not slinging feces. So let’s get to it: perhaps the most common strike against Creed is the idea that they’re heavily derivative of Pearl Jam. Um… have you ever listened to either of these bands? Generally speaking, Pearl Jam is angry garage rock with guitars that bite but don’t shred, and songs that are intended to coast primarily on the emotion conveyed in Eddie Vedder’s vocals and lyrics. Creed is arena rock with soaring pop hooks and beefy guitar riffs. Forgive me if I don’t find those two approaches to be all that similar. Not to mention the fact that Creed rarely ever treads the political ground that Pearl Jam does, and that the perspective of Pearl Jam’s material is often outward, with the Creed being much more introspective. To put it simply, Pearl Jam’s songs are often “you, you, you” while Creed’s are “me, me, me.” If you consider such a point-of-view as pretentious I understand, but I’d rather have someone pointing a finger at themselves than me or a hypothetical “them.”
Of course, this comparison between the bands primarily stemmed from the similarities in Vedder and Stapp’s vocal styles, specifically their employment of what’s known as “yarling” (which involves putting an ‘R’ sound behind enunciations). I’m not going to try and convince anyone that the two frontmen don’t sound similar, but there are important differences that even a cursory listen will highlight: Vedder has more range and is much more likely to yelp, with his voice cracking as he gets higher and more intense. Stapp has a richer timbre but over-pronounces his words in a somewhat silly manner that has become common fodder for haters that fancy themselves comedians. I understand the comparison, but postulating that Stapp “copied” Vedder isn’t wholly substantiated. Claiming that he sounds exactly like Vedder and applying that comparison to the whole band is outright lunacy. This didn’t make any sense to me when I only knew either band from their radio hits; having actually dug into each band’s body of work in subsequent years, it now strikes me as pure propaganda. The fact that the Pearl Jam comparison is blanketed over pretty much EVERY band of the so-called “post-grunge” era just confirms that suspicion.
The next common (and even more ridiculous) complaint is that Creed is somehow Christian rock. Come again? Creed isn’t Christian rock anymore than AC/DC is Satanist metal. Talking about God in a song does not make it religious in and of itself; Christian music involves God as the subject nine times out of ten, with some sort of message of hope through Him conveyed therein. With Creed, God is only ever mentioned as being there; Stapp’s lyrics allude to the Divine in the same way a person might speak of gravity. He’s not trying to convert or otherwise convince anyone of his religious convictions, he’s simply stating them as one might a fact of life. If you dislike this quality that’s fine but it doesn’t make Creed Christian music, even if some of the members are open about their religious convictions.
Even then, to properly interpret these allusions, one must also have some understanding of Stapp’s upbringing. He, like many youngsters, was born into a religious home. He had little interaction with his real father, and his mother remarried when he was still a kid. His stepfather Steven Stapp (from whom Scott took his last name) was a dentist by trade, but a zealot in practice. He made Scott study the Bible for several hours each day and conclude his time by writing essays about what he learned from the passages he perused (Scott later came to find that Steven was using his essays for Sunday school lessons). Think that’s bad? It’s not even the worst of it: whenever Scott messed up, he was physically beaten by Steven. As in abused. Steven also set a specific time each week that Scott was to be thrashed for sins that his stepfather “knew he committed but didn’t see.” Scott was also punished whenever Steven caught him listening to rock and roll, because it’s “the devil’s music.” To top it off, the doctrine advocated was of an unforgiving God that would damn a soul to Hell for the slightest trespass, lest they live a perfect life.
So why am I telling you all of this? Because personal experience naturally informs art, and if you were brought up in a household like this, chances are you’d address those feelings through song as well. It’s all in HOW one addresses these topics that informs the atmosphere. Scott didn’t write lyrics that concerned themselves with theology because he wanted listeners to believe it, he wrote them because HE didn’t know what to believe about the God he had shoved down his throat by his stepfather. It’s a fair assessment to assume that his childhood had a massive effect on his personality, not to mention the disparate reactions to the Creed’s music. It’s a wonder Stapp didn’t have a meltdown before 2014. Of the common complaints about this band, I consider the Pearl Jam point open for debate. Do the bands sound alike? To a degree; both play dour hard rock. There’s only so much variation one can attain within that template, after all. The Christian rock charge, however, is simply untrue. Overall, as far as I’m concerned, both of these sleights were coined not because of their accuracy, but moreso to knock the band off of their perch when they got huge. With the passing of time, these legends have become fact, and the legend is being printed. (As a final point, it behooves me to point out that the band was originally to be called Naked Toddler until Brian Marshall suggested the name be changed to Creed).
Finally, you have the general complaint of the era to contend with: Creed is most often resigned to the “post-grunge” monicker. I don’t care who you are or what you think about grunge, designating a bunch of later artists with a “post-” label when they make pretty much the exact same type of music as their forbears is ridiculous. Does that make Poison and Guns N’ Roses “post-hair metal” since they appeared relatively late in that particular cycle? I get that the so-called post-grunge bands are considered much less authentic than their precedents, but the problem with that line of thinking is that grunge didn’t really invent anything, nor were they all that “original.” Sure, grunge killed hair metal, but there’s a distinct difference between killing and conceiving. The faces of the sub-genre, Nirvana and Pearl Jam, are watered down punk with a hard rock flair. Think AC/DC is simplistic? Nirvana rocks three chord riffs like there’s no tomorrow. That “yarl” that is so often attributed to Eddie Vedder? He wasn’t even the first from the scene to use it, much less music at large. Layne Staley of Alice In Chains holds that dubious distinction for the grunge crowd. As far as the style’s far-reaching beginnings, Ray Charles, George Jones and Jim Morrison of the Doors all sung with such an affectation before Eddie Vedder was ever a glint in his father’s eye. Nevermind the fact that Stapp often cites Morrison as perhaps his most formative influence, along with Def Leppard and U2 (or that Scott honed his singing skills in black churches, whose members would frequently goad him to use “soul” as he sung (read: yarling)).
There are a variety of other diatribes against Creed, such as the band taking itself too seriously (didn’t Nirvana, Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath, among others?), that Scott Stapp was an arrogant ass (John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Axl Rose?) and that the band was too commercialized…sigh. This accusation has to be the MOST fragile of the stones thrown at these guys. Just because a song or album is mainstream does not in and of itself guarantee any sort of quality, good or bad. Anyone that attempts to postulate otherwise is too far up their own ass to give any other line of thought consideration. Sure, rock and roll has always had rebellion in its blood, so I can understand that the idea of a rock band NOT pushing such an image as odd. But let’s not forget that the most respected band of all time, the Beatles, was also the most commercial.
There’s also the charge that the band simply blended in with most of the other like-minded superstars of the time, with LeBrain’s popular line being to colloquially refer to them all as Theory of a NickelCreed. Maybe so, but if the band was so “generic” why are they singled out as one of the “worst of all time”? Just because they got big? And the only way to fight it was to backpedal 110% the other way? Politics, politics, politics… and that’s not even the worst of it. By far the most immature response to this band over the years has not been so much in terms of their output, but the fact that a disturbing amount of haters act like no one else has a damned right to enjoy this band. As if Creed deserves to be burned at the stake and obliterated from the public record along with anyone that admits to being a fan. If hold anything but contempt for them you’ve obviously been living under a rock and haven’t experienced the “good stuff” yet. Are you kidding me? Yeah, and Creed fans are the stupid ones.
Preamble over. Can we move on to the actual music now? That’s what we’re here to discuss, but my pen is pre-ordained to at least address these concerns beforehand, lest I be case out of the “elite” musical regime (which will probably happen anyway since, you know, my argument about Creed consists of more than the age old operandi “they suck because they suck.” Even now I feel readers skipping past my prose to the comments section to light their torches and take my ass to task for my “transgressions”).
Released in 1997 and selling over six million copies in the United States alone by 2002, My Own Prison heralded the arrival of Creed. According to a decent amount of the more casual fans and even some critics, this is their best album, and one after which many jumped ship in indignation. Why? Because of the first three records from the band, this one is decidedly the least commercial. The songs mostly just crunch and end, leaving the listener to sort out the details. Few are trying to be populist anthems. It’s not my favorite Creed album, but I can see why it’s a popular choice. The album weaves through mostly introspective stories of faith and loss, with slight forays into light political fair on “In America.” Overall, this is a moodier and less bombastic affair than the band’s subsequent albums.
Tremonti’s lead guitar ordains the album opener “Torn” with melancholy, and Stapp’s vocals maintain the atmosphere. “Peace is what they tell me/love, am I unholy?/Lies are what they tell me/Despise you that control me” he sings. The guitars crash in in full force on the word lies, underscoring the inherent evil of the practice. “The peace is dead in my soul/I have blamed the reason for/My intentions poor” goes the chorus. I love the atmosphere and passive, rather than assertive, anger conveyed with the lyrics and instrumental. Say what you will about this band but they know how to start an album (perhaps not coincidentally, “Torn” along with followup album Human Clay’s opening track “Are You Ready?” are my two favorite songs from this band).
Next comes “Ode”, a quintessential tune about being mistreated by others. Scott hints at his past here: “One step on your own/And you walk all over me/One head in the clouds/You won’t let go you’re too proud.” This track is a weaker standout, but still pretty good. The title track follows at number three. Perhaps I’m biased, but I consider the song “My Own Prison” to be a classic of ‘90s rock. The one feat Creed is rarely credited for is their knack for catchy and memorable hooks. There’s a reason they were so popular, and forgive me if I don’t think they’ve sold 40 million albums just because the general populace has “terrible taste.” Stapp is often cited for being too earnest with his lyrics and lacking subtlety; well, as far as I’m concerned life isn’t subtle, and he captures that aspect well. I consider the lyrics of “My Own Prison” to be pure poetry: “So I held my head up high/Hiding hate that burns inside/Which only fuels their selfish pride/We’re all held captive/Out from the sun/A sun that shines on only some/We the meek are all in one.” I’d be entertained just reading this stuff; can’t really say the same for “Lithium” or “Even Flow.” As a song, Tremonti and Marshall’s haunting guitar work and Phillips’ dejected drumming elevate the experience to another level.
The album hits something of a snag with the next few tracks in that none of them really stand out from one another (hey, I can make the case that this band is highly underrated but I never implied they were perfect; no artist is). “Pity for a Dime” is your typical “no one cares about me” song that never really distinguishes itself. The atmosphere of the album bolsters this track along with the other weak links, but otherwise it’s one that you skip when going for the meat. The melody is decent, but the point of the lyrics is quickly lost in their redundancy. Even then, the guitar work starting at 3:50 is a real treat and a standout of Tremonti’s contributions.
“In America” is caught in the same net as “Pity for a Dime”, essentially reprising the same theme. However, the twist is that Stapp is noting other opinions rather than his own. I’ve often felt the perspective that Stapp’s lyrics convey to be a hint of subtle genius; he’s merely playing the part of observer, not necessarily “judge” of the politics he addresses. While I think he’s overlooked as a lyricist, Stapp makes a crucial mistake in his treatment of the central conceit: the hook plays as “ONLY in America.” Even as someone that actively avoids politics and the news, I know that very few (if any) of the social issues brought up in this song occur solely in Uncle Sam’s domain. Even if the premise is flawed, the theme of being torn between two extremes is powerful. That military-esque drum beat at the beginning is a nice touch as well.
Two of the more intense tracks from My Own Prison are “Illusion” and “Unforgiven.” The former’s dissident fascination with the nature of life is engrossing. While I wouldn’t call it a standout, it’s also hard to dismiss. If anything, the song helps maintain the atmosphere and momentum, even if you probably won’t catch yourself reaching for this album solely to hear it. However, if you’re just letting the album play it certainly adds to the experience. As for “Unforgiven”, remember Scott’s stepfather and his violently fundamentalist ideas about God? Well, the title should speak for itself. Stapp bluntly speaks of his childhood and feelings about that time in his life. The music is appropriately menacing on this track and it’s a popular live song for the band despite not being released as a single. Tremonti’s guitar solo is especially striking, no doubt a major part of the song’s popularity.
“Sister” is next, perhaps my least favorite track from Creed’s debut. Interestingly, it maintains the theme of “Unforgiven”, with the focus shifted onto a sibling of Scott’s that endured similar treatment as he did. It’s still perhaps the weakest track, but I like the continuity and pondering of the idea of his younger sisters having not one role model as he did, but two (counting Scott himself). Who says Creed have no artistic merit? The instrumental and overall atmosphere of the song are much lighter than previous tracks, perhaps underscoring the love one feels for their immediate family.
The ninth slot is filled by a song called “What’s This Life For,” one of the four monster singles from this album. This is another favorite of fans, myself included. I appreciate the passion in this track and the yearning for answers. Call me a sap, but haven’t we all wondered this exact thing at SOME point in our lives? Sure, it’s not exactly profound nor does the song really offer anything resembling a solution, but I like it. Shoot me. (Side note: some assessments of the song I’ve read cite the “don’t have to settle no Goddamn score” part as eliciting giggles. Am I alone in wondering just what might be funny about that part? Just because Scott says “Goddamn”? Note that this word is omitted from the single version; it was 1997 after all).
I like to think the entire album is summed up with the final track “One.” Stapp reprises that poetic quality from before: “Society blinded by color/why hold down one to raise another” he sings. Relevant in 2015, don’t you think? “One, oh one/the only way is one” he imparts on the chorus, backed up by another bright riff from Tremonti. The song goes on to note the aforementioned prison the narrator finds himself in, as well as the desire to escape and the likelihood of it happening. To be honest, songs like this remind me much more of U2 than Pearl Jam, with that “save the world” vibe coming in full force. As such, the song falls prey to some of the same problems that ilk does by sweeping the more intricate complications of these social issues under the rug, but it’s hard not to appreciate the intent behind the song. I especially like the “flying” effect at 3:16, where the sound circles between speakers, as if to “unite” them once the song kicks back in, just as the band wishes for the world to be united.
Well, if you’ve read this far, I trust that I have your full attention and that you’ve been at least slightly entertained by my ramblings. A little known fact about this album is that two different versions exist. Recorded for a meager $6,000, My Own Prison was originally published through Blue Collar Records, a label founded by Creed to get their music out. The band received some airplay with this version in their native Florida before attracting the attention of major labels. An exact figure of their pre-fame sales is hard to find, but My Own Prison is quoted as shifting several thousand units before it was bought and reissued by Wind-Up records. Creed were then called back in to re-record parts of the album, while the rest was remixed to make for a more polished listening experience. I picked up one of the original copies on eBay a few years ago for about $50. Back in the day, these things were known to go for a few hundred. So how do the tracks compare?
Well, the first thing you notice is the lack of dynamic range. Sure, Creed’s albums have always been among the numerous victims of the loudness wars, in that they’re mixed to blow your head off with sheer noise. However, believe it or not, the dynamics seem more stylized on the Wind-Up version when compared to the original. The opening seconds are a perfect example of this: whereas the first strains of “Torn” are a bit quieter before the song crescendos in the re-release, the original is pretty much the same volume throughout. This goes for all of the tracks to some degree, with certain parts louder and softer given the version. On a related note, the bass is non-existent on the original version, similar to how it was missing from Metallica’s …And Justice For All. The remix brings it out a bit more, though ultimately the lead guitar and vocals mostly overpower the other parts.
The re-recorded material mostly amounts to some vocals. On certain song choruses of the “official” version, Stapp and Tremonti can frequently be heard singing in multiple keys at the same time. Here, it’s mostly just one at a time. It sounds to me like an additional acoustic part was added to “In America” as well. Reverb was also applied to the remix, which I feel adds to the overall atmosphere of the recordings. Some songs also start at different points, with the odd note or two being cut off, as with “My Own Prison.” The biggest and most noticeable change is the omission of the original intro to “What’s This Life For”, a quiet little melody that appears nowhere else in the song. Tremonti is known to play it at concerts when performing, but it’s completely missing from the Wind-Up version.
Overall, if you resent the commercial tendencies of Creed, you might do well to seek out the original mix of this album. This is the band at their rawest. However, I wouldn’t recommend a purchase unless you’re actually a fan as prices are frequently steep and the remix isn’t THAT different when all is said and done. I have one because I’m a collector and completist, as well as a curious listener. I also have an inkling that as this album nears its 20th anniversary, we might see something of a special edition that features both mixes on separate discs (the perfect gimmick). Not that I urge you to wait for a hypothetical re-release, but it’s a thought. Wind-Up released a vinyl compilation celebrating the label’s 15th anniversary in 2013, with the original version of “What’s This Life For” featured. They obviously have access to the masters and might put it to use at some point. All in all, the rawer mixes can readily be found on YouTube if you are so inclined to seek them out but don’t want to pay collector prices for an original copy.
For those interested, there’s also a bonus track version of the Wind-Up issue featuring an 11th song by the name of “Bound & Tied.” The bonus track version was available in Central America and Europe, though it might be a little harder to find these days. For U.S. listeners, the song was made available via the soundtrack to the 1998 film Dead Man on Campus. If you can get your hands on the bonus track version of My Own Prison for a reasonable price, I’d say go for it. “Bound & Tied” is a forgotten gem from Creed, with an intriguing into in which each instrument comes in at a different point, gradually intensifying the sound. I especially like the vocal effects, as well as the menacing guitar riff from Tremonti. The lyrics are also much more ominous than most Creed songs: “Tongue-tied, restless and wanting/Looks like you might bite, you might bite/Breathin’ in, breathin’ out, you’re weakened/The poisons hit your mind, your mind/Time’s ticking and it’s got you thinking/You’re happy with your life.” The band seems to be commenting on the double-edged sword that is fame; you seek it, yet can’t escape it once it’s attained.
In conclusion, if you actually made it this far (scanning or skipping doesn’t count!), my final verdict is that this album is solid. Classic? Perhaps at times, but it’s not anything resembling horrible, either. If your standards are so lofty that a slightly generic album of solid hard rock is your idea of “horrible” music, I envy your musical taste. Here’s hoping that My Own Prison and Creed as a whole are subject to a re-evaluation of sorts at some point in the future. If you can listen past your gut reaction to the name and pay attention to the music, you’ll probably find something to like.
Rating: 3.5/5
Thanks for reading, guys! Thank you, Mike, for the opportunity to do this! LeBrain has given me the option to review Creed’s discography, so if you want more let us know in the comments! (P.S. I take no responsibility for the band’s music videos. They’re atrociously dated and corny, at least for the next two albums, and if your only exposure to Creed is of the visual kind I don’t blame you for thinking they’re garbage.)
No sir, thank you Mr. Acca Dacca for a very thought-provoking review! I really appreciate the time and effort he put into this monster of a review. I have definitely opened my ears to this band. – LeBrain
NOTE: Because of the three Top 15 on the 15th posts today, there will be no posting for Wednesday. A directory to all the Top 15 on the 15th posts can be found here. Browse them all!
Getting More Tale #433.9 presents: A worldwide online event! THE TOP 15 ON THE 15th – Guest shot by Iron Tom Sharpe
Latest to throw his hat into the Top 15 on the 15th ring is Iron Tom Sharpe, Meaford’s Greatest Athlete. One of the most knowledgeable rock fans in the country, Iron Tom is a national treasure. He is a former Record Store owner, and one of the Jedi masters who instructed me.
His message to me upon completion of his list: “Fuck that was tough…and I know I left off some big ones…I just know it…Ah fuck, The D! Max!”
There may be no Tenacious D, and there may be no Max Webster. But here is one kick-ass #Top15onthe15th.
15. The Sword – Warp Riders
14. Metallica – Master of Puppets
13. Deep Purple – Perfect Strangers
12. Frank Zappa – Bongo Fury
11. Led Zeppelin – Physical Graffiti
10.Kyuss – Sky Valley
9. Van Halen – Fair Warning
8. Willie Nelson – Phases and Stages
7. Yes – Close to the Edge
6. Iron Maiden – Powerslave
5. Fu Manchu – The Action Is Go
4. Steve Earle – I Feel Alright
3. Marillion – Misplaced Childhood
2. Queen – Queen II
1. Rush – Moving Pictures
Almost made it:
Orange Goblin – Time Traveling Blues
Crosby Stills & Nash – CSN
Pink Floyd – Animals
Motorhead – Another Perfect Day
Black Sabbath – Heaven and Hell
And finally…an extra bonus. Iron Tom’s Top 5 Live!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #413: Just for the record, Meat’s gonna put it down
By special request of Aaron at the KMA, yesterday I ranked all the Marillion studio albums in order of preference (see #412: Just for the record, I’m gonna put it down). It’s not an easy thing to do, because any band with two distinct phases (and lead singers) is going to have lovers and haters of both, as well as fans who can accept both equally.
During Sausagefest weekend 2015, I discussed my already-completed list with Uncle Meat, who also wanted to take part. He has his own feelings about Marillion’s discography. In fact he only listed six albums. Meat is very much a “Phase One” fan, a follower of Fish who had a hard time accepting the changes that occurred afterSeasons End. It’s important to note that Seasons End was mostly written (musically) with Fish. After that album, the band had to come up with new material for the new singer, and that is when they started to write very differently from before. It’s not Steve Hogarth’s fault, in Meat’s eyes, just the way the band wrote for and with him.
Here are Uncle Meat’s top Marillion albums, without commentary. He’s going top down:
1. Misplaced Childhood (1985)
2. Clutching at Straws (1987)
3. Fugazi (1984)
4. Script For A Jester’s Tear (1983)
5.Seasons End (1989)
6. Vigil In A Wilderness of Mirrors – Fish (1990)
How’s that for a “Big Wedge”? More Marillion tomorrow!
For Tommy Morais’ excellent 4/5 star review of this album,click here, and to skip directly to the comment that started it all,click here!
GUEST REVIEW by academic and rock fan “Jesse A. Jones”*
EUROPE – War of Kings (2015 UDR)
The Swedish rock band Europe stormed onto the charts in the mid 1980’s with uplifting keyboard oriented pop rock, written by singer and founder Joey Tempest, a golden fluffy-haired gifted soul. Then their slide down the charts began. Albums like Out of This World sold fewer and fewer copies and the band finally broke up in the early 90’s, amid rumours that even their own mothers now preferred The Hives.
Unfortunately for fans and the band, these would be the last great albums Europe would make! The fact that mainstream rock magazines still praise Europe is shocking nonsense. It’s hard to believe anyone buys that stupidity! There has not been a real “Europe” in 26 years! It’s a conspiracy involving many producers, record label execs, musicians, writers, FIFA and the worldwide media cartel as a whole. The Bilberbergers know but say nothing, while the Rothschilds remain silent. I have proof written on the back of a beer mat that in 1994 Matt Groening was forced to rewrite a Futurama episode that obliquely referenced the scandal. Shadowy elements of the secret world government have stifled independent thought and critical opinions, ensuring we will all remain unquestioning and loyal, to both our governments and rock bands alike!
Well, ladies and gentlemen it is my sworn duty to tell you the truth and I will not be silenced, or my integrity bought for 30 pieces of record company silver!
The problem is the Europe of today has nothing in common with the real group Europe that topped the charts in 1987. Literally. Committing a conspiracy of great scale, they have been secretly and knowingly touring with an imposter singer since 1989! Their last horrible and fake albums (lifeless and without soul) were not written by the real Joey Tempest. Without Joey’s talent and unique abilities, the band is a lost joke; twisted and sad – imagine, it would be like Deep Purple without Nick Simper – just unthinkable!
The truth remains shrouded in mystery. The only details now known, thanks to a covert informant “C.A.”, is that the imposter Joey forced out the real Joey sometime in 1989, using a complex web of lies and half-truths. Plastic surgeons and vocal coaches helped the fake Joey in his goals, and were paid off for their silence, or disappeared. Some say that the real reason that the late celebrity plastic surgeon Dr. Fredric Brandt suffered from depression was keeping this whole thing secret. Then, having successfully replaced Joey without anyone noticing, Europe continued to tour with a new voice and face fronting the band, raking in millions. It is quite remarkable that very few fans have noticed this imposter. “Joey’s” voice changed on 1991’s Prisoner’s in Paradise album but the complicit media have either ignorantly or purposely covered it up. Fans have wondered why Joey’s hair style and hair colour changed on that album, assuming it was just a superficial change. Little did they know that the head and face behind the hair had also changed! Joey would NEVER let his hair go flat like that! Wake up people!
Europe with the imposter have made a semi-successful go of it, edging themselves towards world domination, even placing third in Sweden’s Got Talent in 2013, but for an unknown, sinister purpose. True fans, distinguishable from the herd by their password ‘Cherokee – marching on the trail of tears’, who know and appreciate the talents of the real Joey, have wondered what happened, but no-one listens. As for the fake fans, how could YOU do this to the real Joey? How could YOU not even notice this shadow of a Joey up there on stage singing fake odes to “Carrie”? Shame on the fans, and most of all shame on the band for not stopping this charade 26 years ago!
Just look at the songs here! “Children of the Night”. The real Joey would never have written a song about “children of the night”, “California 405” is the highway that O.J. Simpson was chased down – a definite clue that there was something more going on here than meets the eye! Why would Europe specifically reference that notorious highway unless they were implying some sort of wrongdoing behind the scenes?
Just listen to the song “Praise You” on this album. As if the real Joey would have written “Praise You”! This rude, obscene imposter has terrible lyrics and evil facial expressions. He is a demonic devil from hell who only cares for himself, not the fans and certainly not the spirit of the original Joey – with the voice, face and hair of an angel. The real Joey gave the fans everything he had. His reward was being ousted by an imposter who now receives all the love and praise from ignorant and deceived “fans” who are too stupid to notice the difference. His only goal in this world is to lie and fool as many fans as possible while he laughs raking in the money! No talent, no soul, no voice! That’s the fake Joey right there. Just listen to War Of Kings, it’s as if he and the whole band are actively setting out to destroy the affection of the fans and ruin the legacy of the band as a whole. Well I won’t sit idly by and let this happen! No sir!
Some will say, “Well you are wrong. His hair and voice change with style and age.” No. Look at his eyes. They are not the same eyes, you can see the yawning chasms of hellfire deep in those pupils. Joey tried to warn you what was happening. Read the lyrics to “Stranger on the Track”! Make sense now? Joey was warning you that “danger” was on his back and nobody listened. Joey stood for love and the truth! Long live love! Long live the truth! One day Joey will return and prove this all to be true, with the original angelic voice of Europe!
It is hard though to bear this burden, sometimes even I start to doubt, but then I only have to look down at the words tattooed on my thigh; words of inspiration, words of power, the real Joey’s words and I find the strength to go on, in his name.
Rock now, rock the night
‘Til early in the morning light
Rock now, rock the night
You’d better believe it’s right.
No rating
* Professor Emeritus of Applied Conspiracy at the University of Punkeydoodles Corners and author of ‘Paul Is Dead: The Amazing Beatles Conspiracy’, ‘Lennon Lives! Why John Isn’t Dead’ and ‘George! Satan’s Favorite Beatle’.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale Report: Aux 33 Tours in Montréal
My sister, bass clarinetist Kathryn Ladano, just completed the east coast leg of her Canadian tour last month. This was followed by a western leg, but while returning home from the east there was a stop in Montréal. Kathryn is a collector too, though not to the extent that I am. She doesn’t need the physical musical media in her daily life like I do. She still collects some of her favourite bands, and has recently started buying vinyl. While in Montréal, she visited a record store called Aux 33 Tours, located at 1373 Mont-Royal Est. According to their website, it is the largest record store in the city. She emailed me the following day, May 27, raving about the store. I’ll let her take it from here! Enjoy the pictures.
I found the most amazing record store in Montréal yesterday! I found almost all The Spoons’ albums on LP, including ones that aren’t available on CD. I also found a promo live album by them that didn’t have a proper cover because it wasn’t supposed to be sold. They were all dirt cheap – like $2 – $7. One of them was autographed and personalized “To Martin”! [Fortuitously, her husband is also named Martin!] I also got Kid A on record. Kid A and Sgt. Peppers are reissues with heavy packaging. They had an original Sgt Peppers, but the reissue was cheaper, so I got that.
I spent about $140. Which I think is good for that many albums! Note: the Simon and Garfunkel and Gord Downie ones are Martin’s.
I’d also like to point out how rare that Bryan Adams single is. He really tried to bury that song! Watch the video, you’ll hear why. (They sped up his voice which gives him a Chipmunks sound.)
And finally, gratuitous photos of Schnauzers and Starfleet collars:
CO-REVIEW! I am joined today by contributorTHUSSYwho introduced me to these crazy trolls from Finland.
FINNTROLL – “Häxbrygd” (2013 Century Media music video)
Thussy: I’m an engineer and whenever I’m working from home I always need something to keep the wandering part of my mind busy so I can concentrate on whatever machine or structure I’m designing. What always works for me is listening to music and my choice (even though LeBrain can’t stand some of it) is hard rock and heavy metal. LeBrain apparently doesn’t like the heavy metal with as he puts it “cookie monster lyrics”. Now I will fully admit I am no expert on heavy metal. All my knowledge comes from SiriusXM Octane, but I always say it helps me work faster.
On this day, I was working away listening to some of my current favourite metal bands. I started with some In This Moment then moved onto Butcher Babies, Slipknot and then Avatar. A few songs into the Avatar set, Youtube switched to a different band. As soon as they started singing I realized it wasn’t in English, so I looked at the video only to find the most awesome Finnish metal band that wears troll ears and has an accordion player in the band. This band is of course Finntroll and the song was “Häxbrygd”. I immediately sent a link to LeBrain for him to check out, and he wanted me to introduce him reviewing the video so I’ll pass this on to him.
LeBrain: He sent me this video, and a few cryptic bits of info such as, “For some reason they’re beating the crap out of a car.” Cool.
I had never heard of Finntroll before. Wikipedia tells me that they play elements of Black metal and Folk metal. Apparently they sing in Swedish and wear rubber troll ears that look and move very Yoda-like, while banging their head to menacing heavy metal. First of all, the Swedish: it doesn’t matter since you can’t understand the words. Second of all, the troll ears: brilliant!
My favourite member of the band is the creepy baby looking guy on accordion. Check that guy out. He absolutely rules, like a troll-baby version of Udo Dirkschneider. Runner up is the fat bare-chested devil drummer.
I don’t understand the words, but from the video, I think the song is about a bunch of troll guys who cut the roof of a car and then paint it up real nice, and then the devil guy hotwires it but the baby guy gets to drive. In a Rob Zombie-esque ending, the troll guys all go for a psychedelic ride together in their newly customized automobile. To where? I don’t know! I have no idea what the fuck this is about!
But the song is unexpectedly cool! To write this review I listened it song at least 20 times, and I like it. That horn hook is incredibly catchy! “Häxbrygd” is like a more metallic version of Mr. Bungle. I have had “Häxbrygd” in my head all week. I’m also appreciating the vocals more than I thought I would. Instead of delivering melodic hooks, the vocal does it rhythmically. Maybe I’m getting the gist of these “cookie monster” vocals after all.
Thussy and I easily came to agreement on a rating for this video. Not only is the band and video hilarious, but the song is absolutely killer.
VAN HALEN – Tokyo Dome Live in Concert (2015 Warner)
It came especially late, but alas we finally have a live Van Halen album featuring David Lee Roth. Tokyo Dome Live in Concert was recorded on March 22 2013 during VH’s last tour. It’s not the band’s first live album as there has been a live Van Hagar release, but it’s the first with Diamond Dave which fans had been asking for, for decades now. This lineup features the Van Halen brothers (of course) Alex and Eddie with David Lee Roth, and Wolfgang Van Halen au lieu of original bassist Michael Anthony. One has to ask “why a live album at this point late in their career?” but it’s better late than never l suppose. Van Halen’s classic lineup and first six albums with DLR from 1978-84 have touched and inspired generations. It’s all-time classic rock, and there are plenty of masterpieces and classics to be found. The band knows this too, as they perform the songs that everyone wants to hear from those six albums along with a few from the current lineup’s 2012 output A Different Kind of Truth.
The setlist is incredible! I mean seriously look at it (they open with “Unchained”) and tell me that it’s not damn well near perfect. All the hits are there along with favourites and that’s one of the album’s strengths and main appeal. I don’t think l would’ve taken anything out. I wouldn’t have added much more either. Anyone who complains is just nitpicking. I would’ve wanted to see “You And Your Blues” from ADKOT instead of “Chinatown”* but that’s about as picky as l can be. Everything l could’ve asked for is here. Two discs and 25 songs (one is a drum solo) at this price is excellent. Those things l can’t complain about.
Now let’s address the elephant in the room. Yeah THAT one! Roth’s singing. Sometimes he completely leaves out lines, his timing is off or at the very last second, and occasionally he’ll almost talk instead of singing. To his credit he’s getting up there in age and moves a lot during live performances, it’s not getting any easier for him and l know criticism of his voice will be harsh towards this release. I’m trying not to be too harsh, while remaining objective. Granted he doesn’t sound great and there some not so good moments, but Diamond Dave was never truly an amazing singer to begin with. Less so live. He was always known to be the charismatic and energetic frontman and no one could touch him.
One of my favourite moments has Dave being Dave, during the beginning of “Pretty Woman” where he goes: “I know that song! (pause) I know that song! (pause) I fucking love that song!” On some songs he sounds good, some tolerable and some…awful.
People have mixed feelings to say the least about Wolfgang replacing Michael Anthony. I think it hurts them not to have Anthony around because his backing vocals were truly the band’s secret weapon and they improved Dave’s overall sound, something Wolfgang simply cannot do (he does sound a little better now), but he does get the job done on the bass guitar. The backing vocals are not awful, and they try their best (“You Really Got Me” is a good effort) but they could have used Anthony’s presence. Alex Van Halen has lost nothing with the years and plays incredible. The “Me & You” piece is amazing. Eddie does what he does best, and surprises us at times adding things here and there being the player we know he is. I can’t say that they really live up to their past glory, but very few bands can and at the end of the day it’s a fun performance.
The sound is very raw and bare-bones, it doesn’t sound like it was overdubbed at all which is one of Tokyo Dome‘s best qualities. I think they were going for a bit of a bootleg sound, not too much as clearly this exceeds a bootleg, but Van Halen wanted a real raw, gritty and heavy feel. Now the audience is essentially nowhere to be found. I own lots of live albums and this has got to be one of the quietest crowds l’ve heard for Van Halen (and a rock concert for that matter). I can only assume they turned them down during the mixing.
On a side note, I think it was a missed opportunity to film the show and have it released as a CD/DVD package**. I think it would have helped gather even more interest in the band and Tokyo Dome. I’m just glad we finally have some new Van Halen out, and a live one with Dave.
Is it perfect? No. Does it have it’s flaws? Yes. Could it have been more? Well l think if you don’t expect too much out out of Van Halen you will find much to enjoy. The guys are a little older, Dave’s voice has aged and it’s 3/4 of the classic lineup but they can still deliver a good performance and entertain you. Some will completely rip on Dave’s voice and l get it (STOP CHEWING GUM WHILE YOU SING!), it’s the main reason l’m giving Tokyo Dome 3 stars. It does make you long for a proper live release from the early 80’s. The musicianship though, is very good and the setlist incredible.
3/5 stars
*LeBrain disagrees. I like both songs, but “Chinatown” trumps “You and Your Blues”!
**LeBrain agrees. I don’t know why that wasn’t done.
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