beatles

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT & REVIEW: Spastic Phono Band – “Wings Under Japan” 7″ single – What’s the story behind this band?

SPASTIC PHONO BAND – “Wings Under Japan” (1980 7″ single, Slipped Disc Records)

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT – 45 years ago…

[Editor’s note:  the authors of this report have asked to retain their anonymity.] 

The year:  The harsh winter of 1980, remembered for its deep cold and snow.   In the realm of popular music, all four Beatles were still alive, even though the band had been broken up for a decade.  One of the Beatles soon found themselves in a wee bit of trouble.  This trouble would spill all over the world news, causing rippling effects and ramifications far beyond the shores of England, for that winter in New York State, a band would go on to record a song….

The Beatle in trouble was the still-babyfaced Paul McCartney.  It was no secret that he was already known for enjoying the green leaf.   Back in 1972, McCartney was arrested in Sweden for possession of Lady Ganja.  He was released without charges at that time, but his reputation was now cemented.  McCartney wanted to book a Japanese tour in the mid-70s, but the country was very strict about illegal substances and refused Paul permission to play.  The fans in Japan would have to do without.

Finally, in 1980, Japan had a change of heart and granted permission for Paul McCartney and Wings to tour in the Land of the Rising Sun.

He just needed to make sure he packed appropriately for the trip.

Paul McCartney is an undisputed musical genius.  His songs will last 100 years.  That does not mean that Paul always used his head.  Despite the scrutiny he was bound to experience upon entering Japan, he decided to bring a stash with him.  He was arrested upon discovery at the Narita Airport with 220 grams of Hawaiian green.  Reportedly, he didn’t even attempt to hide the electric lettuce, just packing it in his carry-on bag with his clothing.  Paul subsequently spent 10 days in the keiji shisetsu (刑務施設); actually the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.  Teenage girls numbering about 50 serenaded the station during Prisoner 22’s incarceration.

Unfortunately for Paul, the nature of this arrest and jailing far away from home meant headlines all over the world.  “PAUL IN CHAINS” and “EX-BEATLE ARRESTED IN JAPAN” went the articles, along with a photo of McCartney being escorted by Japanese officials.  It was huge news, especially in the UK where it became a bit of a media circus.

The judge in the case determined that McCartney brought the drugs for personal use and not trafficking, and decided that Paul had spent enough time in jail.  He was taken to the airport, and flown to Holland, where he was (perhaps surprisingly) refused entry.  He still had time for a chat with the press.

“How did you get out?” asked the reporter.

“Walking on foot,” answered Paul in typical cheeky Beatle humour.

The experience was “a drag” for Paul.  “I was woken up at six in the morning, then had to sit cross-legged for a roll-call. It was like Bridge on the River Kwai. They shouted out ’22’ in Japanese, and I had to shout back, ‘Hai!'”

The 11 date Japanese tour was cancelled at the cost of 2.5 million dollars and 90,000 tickets.

Did he learn from his experience?

“Now I have made up my mind never to touch the stuff again. From now on, all I’m going to smoke is straightforward [cigarettes]. No more pot.”  He later acknowledged his own stupidity.  “Well, to this day I have no idea what made me do it. I don’t know if it was just arrogance or what. Maybe I thought that they wouldn’t open my suitcase.  I can’t put myself back into that mindset now…to this day I have no idea what made me do it.”

Over in America, shortly after shoveling out from a massive dumping of overnight snow, a young songwriter named “Vic Trola” was inspired to write a song.  At least that’s how the credits read on the actual record.  A recent online theory postulated that “Vic Trola” was indeed a pseudonym, but these writings are mostly found in conspiracy theory discussions.  A fringe group that splintered off the main conspiracy theory group added that “Vic” was short for “Victoria”, not “Victor” as previously assumed.   These theories are largely dismissed by the other groups.  Our own extensive research has failed to unearth any other compositions written by Trola; just the one that you are reading about today.  We do know, thanks to documents obtained in the process of researching this article, that after catching their breath from shoveling the drive on that cold winter day, Trola went inside and began writing.  The surviving notes from Vic Trola’s respirologist confirm these facts.

Vic Trola’s song, as it evolved into its final form, was the product of on-stage gigging by the mysterious Spastic Phono Band, and that is where our story really begins.  Though their names are now lost to time, and their relationship to Vic Trola is clouded, we do know that they consisted of a tight rhythm section.  Both the drummer and bassist were exceptional.  They boasted a dual guitar configuration, and multiple lead singers including one female vocalist who appears prominently on their sole recording called “Wings Under Japan”.

The Spastic Phono Band had experience.  They had already been working on a set of originals and comedic covers.  Favourite hits by Santana and the Might Zep were endowed with new witty words, and they found an audience who shared their sense of musical comicality.  Encouraged by the audience reception to these songs, the Spastic Phono Band turned their attention to the hot news of the day:  Paul’s arrest in Japan.  Presumably with Vic Trola’s lyrical input, they started playing bits of his Beatles and Wings hits in a medley.  Egged on by the crowd, and adding throwaway lyrics here and there, the song “sort of wrote itself”, according to a maraca player who claims to have been there at the time (and requested complete anonymity).  It took only three or four shows for the song to come together as we know it today.  The Paul medley became an instant live hit.  The crowds ate it up.  They learned the words, sang along and shouted for more!  Clearly, the song needed to be recorded in a studio, and put out on a record.

Unfortunately for the band and Vic Trola, who were based out of Liverpool (New York, pop. 2400), there were few studios around within the reasonable driving distance of a beaten-up touring van.  Their studio of choice would be unavailable for three weeks, and time was of the essence.  The Paul story was hot now, not later!  Even if they recorded the song immediately, it would have to be mastered and pressed at a record plant, meaning they had to act immediately.  The scarcity of nearby studios presented a challenge.  Would these young musical minds be able to publish their Paul pastiche in time?

As they used to say, the Spastic Phono Band let their fingers do the walking:  They picked up the phone and eventually connected to something that somehow passed as a recording studio.  The old schoolhouse that they booked was certainly was not conceived as a studio when it was built in the last decade of the 1800s.  The top floor housed the recording space, but in a decidedly inconvenient design and safety choice, it was only accessible via an outdoor fire escape.  All the band’s equipment had to be hauled up the emergency exit:  drum after drum after drum, followed by amp after amp.  Bags were passed from vehicle to musician and up the fire escape, which wobbled with every tentative step.  Also, it was winter.  Members of the band were not sure if they were going to survive the combination of snow and ice, metal steps, and gravity.   To our great fortune, they did.

The studio owner was also the engineer, and his soul still lived in the 1950s.  He didn’t grasp the nuance, or understand the Spastic Phono Band’s particular brand of humour.  He did, however, have a friendly personality and got along with the band.  A good sounding record began to take shape on tape.  The band nicknamed the engineer “Eddie”, a reference to a classic Leave It To Beaver character, Eddie Haskell.  Eddie’s studio had all the necessary equipment (minus an elevator).  He even had an ARP synthesizer which can be heard on two segments of the recording: “Silly Drug Laws“ and “Banned in Japan”.  Though the band did not have the budget to spend more time in the studio to do some further work on the guitars, the band climbed down the fire escape holding in their mittens a reel-to-reel tape of their hard-earned work.  Physicists specializing in the behaviour of water at low temperatures speculate that the tape was almost dropped once on the way down, but saved from an icy fate in the snow.

The schoolhouse was demolished in 2025 at 131 years old.

Though recorded, the song still had to be mastered and cut to vinyl.  With time slipping away, and Paul McCartney finally starting to experience a decline in the media frenzy over his Japanese vacation in the big house, the Spastic Phono Band were in an ever-increasing time crunch.  Their song, heavily dependent on McCartney’s imprint in the public consciousness, had to make its way to a physical record that you could buy.  Their preferred manufacturer was fully booked and the band could not wait any longer.  The track was complete, mixed and ready to be mastered…but where?

Through furious searching and some tense bidding on eBay, we have obtained some of the logs, unfortunately anonymous, detailing the following sequence of events of the recording:

Monday.

Tempus is fugiting.  Much to our dismay, the cute Beatle’s troubles in the Far East are rapidly becoming old news.  Also with windchill, it is about four degrees today.

The Paul story was soon displaced by other current events.  The Iranian Revolution made fresh headlines, and soon came the hostage crisis.  Front pages were dominated by the tense 444 day crisis, during which 66 Americans were held hostage at the US Embassy in Tehran.  As it happens, another band in the same area as the Spastic Phono Band, a trio, were working on a song referencing these events.  One of the songs in their regular set, popular in some of the local Irish venues around the area, was Jerry Jeff Walker’s “London Homesick Blues”.  It featured the unique chorus of “I wanna go home with the armadillo.”  (Who wouldn’t?)   This was easily adapted into “I’ve had enough of the Ayatollah”.  The clever lyrical substitute worked, and the band approached the club owners documented only as “The Brothers Three”.  The Brothers actually owned three clubs, which seemed poetic.  The Brothers Three liked the song, feeling that it tapped into the sentiment of the day.  The reached into their pockets and financed a studio recording of the Walker cover.  They were now in the record business.

The Spastic Phono Band, who were familiar with the trio in question, learned of this.  Realizing it was a good idea, they decided to make their own pitch to the Brothers Three.

Wednesday.

They went for it.  Sure, they argued a bit and the oldest one may have smacked the youngest one, but we did get a unanimous decision.  The Brothers Three are going to allow us to use the disc maker where they pressed the Ayatollah record.  

The record would be made in a little postage-stamp sized record plant (if you could call it that) in Connecticut.

Tuesday. 

One of the Brothers Three picked me up in his MG convertible today.  We took the tape to a dumpy little record pressing company.  Mission accomplished.  We ordered 300 copies to be made.   Then headed home, but my companion driving the convertible decided to put the top down.  It may be February thaw, but it was so cold I still don’t have feeling back in my nose.  Considering calling an otolaryngologist.

Frozen noses aside, when the boxes containing 300 copies of “Wings Under Japan” finally arrived, the McCartney story was equally cold.

Friday.

Believe it or not, there isn’t a lot of demand for a record by a band that nobody’s heard of.

The records were delivered to stores, who tried their best to push it, but were fighting an uphill battle. The record was not a hit.  The 300 copies did eventually end up in the hands of the public.  There are no documents detailing any sales, so we do not know if the band sold them at shows, or by mail order, or any of the other quaint methods available in 1980.   Mr. McCartney never stumbled upon the record, as far as the evidence suggests.  At least, we know he hasn’t sued.  But could he even locate the Spastic Phono Band if he wanted to?  We could not.  Vic Trola has pulled a DB Cooper:  Taken the money (if any) and flown.

Though only the original 300 copies were made, we were able to track one down for this article.  It was clearly loved in its previous home.

Housed in a yellow-brown sleeve (the original?), the 45 has a nice maroon label, stating this is on Slipped Disc Records.  Charmingly, the song “Wings Under Japan” is split over the two sides…sides 3 and 4.  (It has been suggested that this release, with sides 3 and 4 instead of 1 and 2), gave George Lucas the idea to number The Empire Strikes Back as Episode V instead of Episode II as expected.  With that film releasing in May 1980, we cannot completely dismiss the claim.)

The track is just over seven minutes combined.

Leavin’ on a Japanese roadtrip,
Headin’ down a London runway,
Paul said ‘I need to bring along some good weed,
Because it helps me relax when I play.’

Guffaw!  The song begins with a spoof of “The Ballad of John and Yoko”, now called “The Ballad of Paul and Linda”, with a similar structure, but words about Paul.  “The way things are gooooin’, they’re gonna scrutinize me!”  And they did…but not long enough for the Spastic Phono Band.  The song continues.

Staring at the man with the baggie.
Paul said, ‘Maybe I’m amazed!
It only amounts to less than half an ounce,
Why do you have to get so carried away?’

In perhaps the most obvious yet fun twist, the song then goes into Wings’ “Hi Hi Hi”…but re-written as “High High High”.  This is funny because it’s so obvious, it had to be done.  It’s amazing nobody else did it.  Incidentally the harmony vocals in this section are rich and excellent.

Next up in the Paul medley is “Silly Love Songs”, redone as “Silly Drug Laws”.  “What’s wrong with drugs, I’d like to know, ’cause here I go again!  I’m in jail…”  Another example of great singing by the Spastic Phono Band, but listen to that 1970s groove and the dexterous bassline!  This is some serious playing.

Side “3” ends, and so we flip to side “4”.  Fortunately in the modern era, we can use our digital capture software to seamlessly edit the two into one track!  Next is “Band On the Run”, revised as “Banned In Japan”.  In this case, the original song is almost a medley of different sections itself.  The Spastic Phono Band do several of them here.  “Stuck inside these stone walls, might be here forever!”  There is a poignant moment coming here, frozen in time.  Little did they know that John Lennon had only months to live, for in December of 1980, he would be murdered in New York.  So to hear the line, “I’ll join with Ringo, and George and John and we’ll put the reunion on,” reminds us that finite period of time when such a thing was indeed possible.

A brief pause and then, just like on Abbey Road, wait for a Beatles-y coda.

“Wings Under Japan” is, quite frankly, one of the best parody medley songs (or however you want to describe it) you’ll ever find, for three reasons.

  1. The mystery.  Who are the Spastic Phono Band anyway?  We may never know.  (Or, more accurately…we may never tell.)
  2. The musical prowess.  There is some serious playing and singing on this brief single, and your life would be richer if you heard it.
  3. Though depicting events before some of you were born, the lyrics are still hilarious due to the timeless nature of weed jokes.

5/5 stars.

 

REVIEW: Union – Live in the Galaxy (1999)

UNION – Live in the Galaxy (1999 Standback)

  • John Corabi – vocals/guitar
  • Bruce Kulick – guitar/vocals
  • Brent Fitz – drums/vocals
  • Jamie Hunting – bass/vocals

This great, forgotten Union live album should be added to the collections of any fans of John Corabi or Bruce Kulick.  Packed with great songs from Union, Motley Crue, Kiss, the Scream, and even Cheap Trick and the Beatles, this live album delivers on every level.  11 tracks live, plus two bonus studio songs.  Power to the music indeed!

There are no specifics about recording dates, but regardless the album has been well sequenced, opening with Union’s own album opener, “Old Man Wise”.   Very much a continuation of the Motley and Kiss albums of 1994 and 1997 respectively.  Mix them up with riff and groove sauce, you’d get something like “Old Man Wise”.  Bruce’s playing is always fascinating and “Crabby” was in top voice.  Grit and power are the words of the day.  This song pounds, and Bruce absolutely rules.  We go straight into the equally grooving but more upbeat “Around Again”.  Union had an excellent self-titled album out at the time, and it makes up the bulk of the album.  Fortunately the band’s original songs set a high bar.  Bruce Kulick doesn’t put out crap.  A third song from the debut, “Heavy D…” might be called a ballad, but really it’s a quiet song with heavy parts.  Or is it a heavy song with quiet parts?  It is performed with gusto in either guise.

“We’re gonna do something from Carnival of Souls!  This is called the ‘Jungle’, baby!”  Then Jamie Hunting comes in with that rolling bassline, originally played on album by Bruce himself.  Kulick’s past with Kiss makes an appearance on “Jungle”, a song Kiss never performed live, so quite a treat.  John Corabi’s spin on a Paul Stanley vocal is full of raspy power yet still appropriate.  Hearing this makes one wish that Kiss did have the balls to play it live.

That’s a lot of heavy rock in a row, and to lighten the mood, it’s the Union original “Love (I Don’t Need It Anymore)”, which is dedicated to a certain someone who was involved with a current event in the news at the time.  It’s a little more upbeat, a little more “Motley” and absolutely one of the best Union songs from the debut.  The chorus kills like a classic from Dr. Feelgood.  Corabi then takes us back to his earliest catalogue, The Scream’s “Man In the Moon”.  The Scream were a sort of musician’s super group, featuring Bruce Bouillet and John Alderete from Racer X.  The Scream was more mainstream than that.  This is a melodic rocker with a bluesy twist, and the band do a slamming job of it.

Bruce Kulick takes center stage on another Kiss song that was never played live, and his vocal debut:  “I Walk Alone”, which he wrote with Gene Simmons.  It begins with a short, Zeppelin-esque guitar exercise from Bruce.  As for the vocals, you gotta give Bruce credit for not going back and fixing things.  This is Kulick’s voice raw and exposed and imperfect and yet…perfect for the album.  In many ways, this is better than the Kiss version, as Bruce adds a really sweet guitar outro.

A fun unexpected cover next:  Cheap Trick’s “Surrender”!  The backing vocal abilities of the entire band enable them to easily pull this off.  You’d look at it on paper and scratch your head a bit, but it’s short work for these pros.  It’s all about the vocals.

A dramatic “Pain Behind Your Eyes” brings to the stage another soft/hard hybrid with wicked drumming and vocals.  However this is just a prelude to one of the heaviest Motley Crue songs ever:  “Power to the Music”.  Corabi takes center stage doing some screamin’ and preachin’ to the crowd.  The demanding song is handled ably by Corabi, seemingly relishing playing this awesome song live on the stage again.  They probably would have blown Motley off the stage doing the same song.

After some band intros, we get some Kulick solo wailing right into the final song “Tangerine”.  Nothing like the Zeppelin song, this is a riff-rocking groover with excellent melodic delivery by John Corabi.  Union were a melodic band, but John’s approach added the grit and grime that is like rock candy going down.  This song slays with a resilient groovy riff.

Bonus studio tracks are two:  an acoustic rendering of “October Morning Wind” from the debut, and a Beatles cover that blows away the more well know Oasis version.  First up though, the rich acoustics of “October Morning Wind” really bring warmth to a cold subject.  “My pain is measured by a sky that is old and grey,” sings John in a song that may well be about seasonal affective disorder.  Then, the Beatles cover is handled with ease.  “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away” benefits from similar acoustic warmth.  It sounds live in the studio, and again the lead and backing vocals make it work seemingly without effort!

Union really made a strong impression with their first two releases, the debut and the live album.  Was it too soon for a live album?  When you look at the setlist, absolutely not.  They had enough material with which to build a very strong set of songs, needing only one true cover (the Cheap Trick song).  The bonus acoustic tracks are icing.

4.5/5 stars

 

#1076: Weekend Listening At Home

RECORD STORE TALES #1076: Weekend Listening At Home

When I have time and the inclination at home, I like to go through dusty corners of the CD collection and finally get them ripped to PC.  I take my hard drives with me everywhere, so my music collection is always portable.  This weekend I took some deep dives, and sampled the sweet exotic fruits of the E section, a sampling of K’s and L’s, and some new arrivals too.

First of all, the newer stuff.

I’m going to have to re-review Morning Report by the Arkells again!  Turns out, I made a mistake in my original review.  I said that the deluxe edition had three bonus tracks, but I was wrong.  I didn’t realize that there was another bonus track inserted as track #2, between “Drake’s Dad” and “Private School”.  This makes all the difference in the world to the sequencing.  Now we get “Knocking At The Door”, a new single, as the new track #2.  Since “Drake’s Dad” and “Private School” were my two least favourite songs, having something of much higher quality between them really helps the flow.

I always buy something after doing a show on Grant’s Rock Warehouse.  This time, it was the Stone Gods.  I’ve acquired the single for “Burn the Witch”, which comes with two awesome non-album songs:  “Breakdown”, and “Heartburn”!  “Breakdown” is exactly like Thin Lizzy, to a tee, except with Richie Edwards on lead vocals.  “Breakdown” is of equally high quality, a light and humorous tune about Pepto-Bismol and Gaviscon.  Expect a review at some point in the future.

Finally, I sampled some April Wine, from Over 60 Minutes With…All the Rockers.  People ask me “Why do you not own any April Wine?”  I said “I never grew up with April Wine, my friends didn’t like them, so I never bothered.”  Well Tim Durling said I need April Wine.  I will evaluate this at a later date, but I have some April Wine now.

The next batch of discs was from the last part of the E section, five discs that had escaped ripping to the PC all these years.  It could be 20 years or more since I have last played some of these.   Earth, Wind & Fire, nothing need be said here, that’s essential.  I was surprised at the quality of Elf, as boogie-woogie isn’t usually my thing.  The Rik Emmett CD is cool because it has 2001 live versions of some of his old Triumph classics.  Episode Six runs the gamut from quaint to psychedelic.  “UFO” is one cool such song, a spoken word bit over drums, that reads from UFO sighting reports.  But that’s Ian Gillan and Roger Glover on the front cover, yes indeed!  Finally, the Eric Singer Project (ESP) was the weak link in this batch.  Just a bland covers album to me.

Next, over to the K section.  I noticed that none of my Kula Shaker music was on PC, and I have a lot of Kula Shaker.  That’s the entire collection below, in fact.

Look!  The 2 CD edition of debut album K with a cool remix of “Tattva”.  Two CDs of “Govinda” singles with B-sides and remixes.  “Grateful When You’re Dead/Jerry Was There” CD single with two non-album tracks. The highlight of me of these was “The Leek”, a quiz show style radio appearance by bassist Alonza Bevan.  (A distant cousin of Roger Glover, in fact.)  Really funny stuff.  To me, anyway!  Two CDs of “Hush”, the Joe South cover (also covered by Deep Purple Mk I) with lots more non-album tracks.  Then we have the Summer Sun EP, which has four of the previous B-sides and two songs I didn’t have elsewhere.  The second album, Peasants, Pigs & Astronauts spawned a CD single called “Sound of Drums”, both of which are here.  More non-album tracks on that as well.

Well, it turns out, I still love Kula Shaker!  Like, a lot.  That Britpop sound, mixed with 60s psychedelia and far Eastern influences just tickles my fancy.  There were a couple tracks I really loved, but none more than “108 Battles of the Mind” from the second album.  What a cool, manic track that definitely benefited from the Austin Powers era.

One thing about Kula Shaker that needs to be addressed:  the stellar musicianship.  These guys can jam!  Special notice to drummer Paul Winterhart who is absolute monster.  Incredible band.  Once I start re-absorbing these songs back into my memory, I may have to catch up with what they’ve been up to since 1999, where my collection ends.

Continuing through K, and into L, the listening continued on Sunday morning.

Kyuss is a band that I don’t think was summed up well by compilation.  I will have to dig further.  I have their split EP with Queens of the Stone Age, which has “Fatso Forgotso” on it, but I think Kyuss were an album band.  The two Kulick albums are excellent.  Corabi is on Transformer, which is signed!  I didn’t know I had a signed copy!  The James LaBrie solo disc also sounds great from what I sampled!  Very Dream Theater, in a good way.  Some heavy, some soft.  Then we have Life Sex & Death, also called LSD.  Their gimmick was their lead singer “Stanley” who was supposedly homeless (but wasn’t).  This 1992 album is one that needs more exploration.  What I heard was heavy, gritty and riffy while retaining some melody.  To be further examined in the future.

As far as I got on the weekend, this just scratches the surface.  Look at all this stuff that is still sealed in my collection.  Time or inclination just haven’t lined up with the proper mood yet.  Some are newer arrivals, like Metheny, Hollywood Vampires and Eric Carr.  Others have been sitting around for years.  The Kiss compilation may as well stay sealed for collector’s purposes, but The Boxed Life by Rollins…that could have been waiting a decade on these shelves.  The Garth Hudsons have been here since 2020.  The Etta James and Beatles since 2018.  They were in Jen’s mom’s collection.

Wish me luck as I continue to delve into these unheard corners of my collection.  What would you be playing first if you stumbled onto these discs?

 

#854: Mushy

GETTING MORE TALE #854: Mushy

15 years seems like a long time even though it’s really just a blink of an eye.  My life changed forever 15 years ago.  That’s when I met Jen.  A big gaping hole in my heart was filled forever that day.  There was never really a question that she was the “right” one for me.   She always knew.

She had my back from the start and helped give me the confidence that I needed to finally quit the Record Store.  Since 2000, the environment there had become extremely toxic and I needed to get out for my own health.  If she didn’t have my back, I wouldn’t have left and my sanity would have been frayed.

This extra-mushy post has been brought to you by love.

Our first few years together were filled with dreams.  We talked about what we wanted to do for our wedding and what we were going to name our kids.*

Then she got sick.  That put the brakes on some of our plans.  Her doctor wanted us to wait to have kids.  When her health got under control, we thought, we could have as many as we wanted.  Two seemed like a great number.  A boy and a girl.  I really wanted a baby girl.  As time went on we realized it was never going to happen.

“Why don’t you just adopt?” asked people who didn’t know our situation.  Adoption stopped being possible when her health got worse.  The reality was we needed someone to babysit her, not someone for us to babysit.  It has been a tough reality but I’ve never regretted any of it.  I’d rather live with just the two of us, than have kids with somebody else.  If this is what our lives were meant to be, then so be it.

After we got married and settled in, we had to deal with loss after loss after loss.  We still paid off the condo, and just rolled with everything that life threw at us.  Every time one of us feels like giving up, the other one says “no way”.  We’ve come too far to throw in the towel now.  The things we’ve endured together would slay lesser mortals.  Sometimes at night, I’ll just lie there thinking about how lucky I am.

We keep on keepin’ on.  Because of her, love songs are sweeter and breakup songs don’t sting like they used to.  We live quiet lives now but I’m never, ever bored.  She gives me the time, space and inspiration to keep on writing.  In exchange she can watch all the sports she wants!  It’s a pretty sweet deal and I’ll never take for granted what a lucky bastard I am.

 

* She has never approved of my choice, Spencer Peter Oscar Carl Kevin.  Spell out the initials.

Celebrative Sunday: Remembering Dave

It’s been a tough week, so no chuckles today.  Besides, there is something else I’d rather talk about.

It was 10 years ago today that we lost Dave.

Dave (he wouldn’t let me call him “Mr. Rutter”) was a unique human being.  He’s the only person I’ve ever met that nobody ever said a bad word about.  People talk of his generosity, his love of sports, friends, and family.  If he had any flaws, they were a secret he took with him.  He was very special.  And he was Jen’s dad.

We didn’t see it coming.  He just went in his sleep.  It was peaceful, but not for us.  To say we are still feeling the effects of his loss would be an understatement.  Jen was a daddy’s girl, a precious princess with a dad who was always willing to go easy when she was bad.  They spoke their own language.  To see the two of them with a plate of chicken wings, talking about sports…I couldn’t even follow what they were on about.  They were best friends.  The phrase “two peas in a pod” was never more applicable.  The hole he left in her life is immeasurable.

But here we are 10 years later.  I don’t know how we made it, especially given the losses that followed.  The family that Jen grew up with is gone.  Fortunately my family have taken her in as if she was blood.  We couldn’t have survived this without the support of them, and Jen’s Ottawa family.  In a way, it feels unfair and cruel that Dave had to go so soon.  I barely got to know him.  On the other hand, it’s a blessing that we had Dave at all.  Not many people can say they have a Dave in their life.

He loved his sports (any sport you can name, he knew something about), he loved classic music, driving, antique books, and coffee.  He loved “Mum” and she’s with him now.  They were always meant to be together forever and now they are.  We miss them both.  He was a really special guy and I wish you had a chance to meet him.

Dave drove a delivery van for a living, and the last van he drove only had a tape deck.  So, I gave him a bunch of my old cassettes to listen to.  One was a collection of Beatles EPs that I copied from the Compact Disc EP Collection box set.  From that set, and for Dave, here is “Drive My Car”.

#354: Packaging & Cellophane

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#354: Packaging & Cellophane

As I sit here finally ripping the cellophane off some of the discs I received for Christmas, a pile of discarded shrink wrap sits before me.  I find the plastic waste problematic, but I also recognize that in today’s consumer market, you have to present your product as “brand new” or “untouched by human hands” in some way.  So they seal up every CD and DVD, ensuring that nobody got their sticky hands on the playing surface of your disc.  As an added bonus the shrink wrap protects the CD or DVD case, meaning you and only you can scuff it up yourself.

IMG_20150102_094208Part of me hates waste.  The other part (the OCD part) really enjoys ripping the shrink wrap off a brand new CD and knowing that its appearance is perfect inside.  Only I can mark it up, now.  Same goes with toys, appliances, tools…we all want everything to be brand-spanking-new when we open them, when possible.  We want to be the ones to rip the protective plastic film off that new TV.  We want to be the ones who carefully remove our new laptops from the layers of packaging protecting them.

This seems to be especially important when giving gifts.  When you’re giving something to a loved one, you want everything about it to be perfect as possible, from the box to the product, right?  In cases like this, we tend to look at the layers of wasteful packaging as a necessary evil.  You probably recycle and re-use as much as possible, but we all throw a whole lot of packaging straight into the garbage bin whenever we open something new.

IMG_20150102_094112I’ll give you an example from the Record Store days, just how some people value packaging over waste when gift giving.  We used to offer a shrink wrap service.  I don’t remember what we charged.  If you wanted to buy a used CD and shrink wrap it in order to hide the fact that you were buying a used CD, we’d do it for 25 cents or 75 cents or something.  It might shock you how many times I heard variations of the question, “This is a gift.  Can you shrink wrap it for me?”

“Is there a way to put plastic on this so he doesn’t know it’s a used CD?”

“I don’t want her to know this is used.  Do you have a shrink wrapping machine or something like that?”

And so on and so forth.  There was a demand (clearly) so we offered it.

I found a better use for the shrink wrap machine.  When I happened upon a rare digipack version of a CD, or something with fragile packaging, I would reseal it, to protect it.  You’d be amazed how much you can wreck a CD case just from normal shelf wear.  If it’s something which has value in its packaging, then you want to prevent that.  I had (and later sold at a profit) a rare copy of The Black Crowes’ Amorica album.  This had the “x-rated” cover on a good condition digipack.  To prevent it from getting scuffed or damaged and losing value, I resealed it.   When I later got the Sho’ Nuff box set, I sold it for like $20.

IMG_20150102_093955You know those burgundy and yellow jewel cases that came with Kiss’ You Wanted the Best, You Got the Best CD?  Another prime candidate for resealing (though you will still have to be careful you don’t crack the plastic)!

Some of my co-workers were known to reseal their hands.  I do not know why.  I did not partake in that ritual.

My quandary can be summed up as this:  I like packaging to a certain degree.  I hate the waste aspect of it, and the environmental impact.  In my own life I try to reduce waste as much as possible.  But I can’t get around my preference to tear open the shrink wrap on a brand new virgin CD and be the first to touch it with bare hands.

What is the compromise?  I don’t know.

I don’t think there is a compromise.  I don’t think wasteful packaging is a sustainable practice.  I think, sooner or later, we all are going to have to get used to shedding layers of waste in our future.

REVIEW: Ozzy Osbourne – Under Cover (2005 Japanese import)

Purchased this year at the Toronto Musical Collectibles Record & CD Sale.

OZZY OSBOURNE – Under Cover (2005 Japanese CD/DVD set)

I want to know who thought this album was a good idea to release.  Sure, we know Ozzy will do pretty much anything.  He even appeared on a tribute album to Black Sabbath (Nativity In Black Vol. 2).  So why not have Ozzy cover a bunch of songs that, by and large, the world didn’t need him to cover?

“SHARON!”

I’ve never thought much of this album, and I think you can gather why on the first track “Rocky Mountain Way” (Joe Walsh).  Why did this song need to be redone, metalized, and howled upon by Ozzy Osbourne?  It’s awful.  The female backing vocals are totally out of place, the changes made to song are unnecessary, and the vocal is stale.  The only positive thing I will say is that Jerry Cantrell (Alice in Chains) plays on Under Cover, and he’s the only thing redeeming it.  His slide and talk box solos on “Rocky Mountain Way” are swampy and great.

Whether Ozzy covers the Beatles (a pukey echo-drenched “In My Life) or Cream (“Sunshine of Your Love”) or the Stones (“Sympathy for the Devil”), nothing of value is added to the song.  It’s assembly line rock.  There are no innovations or interesting slants.  “Sunshine of Your Love” is altered to resemble Sabbath’s “N.I.B.” which doesn’t help matters at all.  Ozzy even does two solo John Lennon songs (“Woman” and “Working Class Hero”).  I get that Ozzy has a connection to the lyrics to “Working Class Hero” and is a huge fan of Lennon.  That doesn’t mean he should try doing his own version.  Most songs don’t benefit from being metalized.  I’ve even heard a good metalized cover of “21st Century Schizoid Man” better than Ozzy’s.

Best tune (only good tune):  “Fire” originally by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

OZZY UNDER COVER_0003Special guests: Leslie West plays some smokin’ axe on the cover of his own “Mississippi Queen”.  Ian Hunter joins Ozzy on “All the Young Dudes” but doesn’t do much other than shout along.  Others such as Gregg Bissonnette (David Lee Roth) and Joe Bonamassa are credited on the album, with no indication of what they did on which tracks.  Maybe Bissonnette was hired solely to play cowbell.  Who knows?

The final rip off to fans is that almost all of Under Cover was previously released on Ozzy’s Prince of Darkness box set earlier that year!  Many Ozzy fans such as myself picked that one up for its numerous long-sought rarities.    When Under Cover was released as its own album, four new recordings were added to make you buy it again: “Rocky Mountain Way”, “Sunshine of Your Love”, “Woman”, and “Go Now”. If you have Prince of Darkness, then you already own over 75% of Under Cover.

The Japanese bonus track was daughter Kelly Osbourne’s cover of Black Sabbath’s ballad “Changes”, with dear old dad singing with her, and lyrics adapted to suit.  If you were one of those (I hope not) who bought Kelly’s 2002 album Shut Up, then you already have this.  But like most Ozzy fans, I already have this song on the Prince of Darkness set.  This version also comes with a bonus  region 2 DVD: the music video for “In My Life” (whoop-de-do) and a long (about 45 minutes I think) feature called “Dinner with Ozzy and Friends”.  You might recognize a couple of these friends.  Road stories are shared, the funniest ones involving Ozzy being mistaken for Meat Loaf, and Lemmy for Willie Nelson.  And there’s the infamous story of Zakk Wylde and a cork.  Finally, the two sided DVD also has the entire album in “enhanced stereo”.

1/5 stars

GUEST REVIEW: The Beatles – Stereo Box Set LP version


THE BEATLES – Stereo Box Set (2009 LP version, Apple/EMI)

By: Lemon Kurri Klopek

I’m a sucker for a good boxed-set. I own several. A couple from The Beach Boys, and The Who, one from David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, heck, even The Monkees. When we’re talking The Beatles though, I have a number of them. The original bread box set of CDs, the Singles Collection, the E.P. Collection, the Anthologies, The Capitol sets, the Mono box and the Stereo box. Then of course the individual solo sets. The Lennon box, Onceuponatime, the Darkhorse Years, the list goes on. I have the special editions from each member’s solo catalogue. All Things Must Pass, Band On The Run, etcetera.  So when I saw the giant LP collection sitting there staring at me in the record store, it was no surprise when I found myself lugging it, double bagged out to the trunk of my car.

I must say it is an impressive set. All original UK releases plus Past Masters, all stereo versions, and all on 180 gram vinyl. These sets of vinyl are on the retail shelves for close to $350. I bought mine from a local establishment that was running a sale that weekend. I walked out having parted with 276 of my dollars. That’s tax included too. Not a bad deal considering there are 14 records (two of which are doubles.) That is less than $20 per record if you’re keeping track.

BEATLES

One small added bonus is, there is a foam cushion in the box that when removed makes room for the Yellow Submarine Songtrack and the #1s double record released years ago. Now I’m sure you could put other releases in there like, I don’t know, Love, or Yesterday and Today but I put in #1s and Yellow Sub. You put in whatever you like, it’s a free country… Anyway…

I figured the thing to do was to start at the beginning. So after unsheathing the box from its’ cellophane wrapping, (one of the best parts of buying a record and sadly something a generation will miss out on entirely) out came the beefy 180 gram stereo version of Please Please Me. I placed it on my Rega turntable and dropped the needle. In an instant it was the 11th of February 1963 and I was standing in EMI Studios on Abbey Road in London. Listening to what for all intents and purposes is a recording of The Beatles live set at the time. George Martin’s stereo mix of “I Saw Her Standing There” which was released a month after the original Mono mix, was filling my living room. The second release With The Beatles followed and then of course, A Hard Day’s Night. Stellar the lot.

5/5 stars

Contents:

Please Please Me (1963)
With The Beatles (1963)
A Hard Day’s Night (1964)
Beatles for Sale (1964)
Help! (1965)
Rubber Soul (1965)
Revolver (1966)
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
Magical Mystery Tour (1967)
The Beatles (1968)
Yellow Submarine (1969)
Abbey Road (1969)
Let It Be (1970)
Past Masters (1962–1970)

Further reading:
THE BEATLES – In Mono (2009)

REVIEW: David Lee Roth – Diamond Dave (2003)

DIAMOND DAVE_0001DAVID LEE ROTH – Diamond Dave (2003 Magna Carta)

One can indeed judge a book by its cover. David Lee Roth is hands-on with every aspect of his product, be it a photo shoot, a recording session, or an interview. He must have known his Diamond Dave album was crap, so he made a terrible cover to match it. Check out the tan, that wig and them pants!  (Also notice:  furry walls!)

This album, following up another aborted Van Halen reunion and the surprisingly powerful album DLR Band, switches gears and shows Dave’s “multi-faceted side”. Sure, we all know Dave likes disco, jazz, blues, showtunes, and standards.  It’s Dave doing what he did very successfully on Crazy From the Heat, and trying to do so again.  To make an album of this stuff would be fine, but Diamond Dave lacks any sort of zap.  At all.  It’s just one “who cares” cover after another, a couple crappy originals, and a Van Halen tune.

Dave’s voice just doesn’t generate the heat it once did, and all of Diamond Dave suffers for it.  The way Van Halen did A Different Kind of Truth used a lot of production on Dave.  Here, Roth is a whimper, a wheeze, a breathless gasp at the greatness that once was. To listen to this album in one sitting is an exersize in stamina. I know because I’ve done it.

Positives:  Instrumental moments on the Steve Miller cover “Shoo Bop”.  The ace rhythm section of LoMenzo and Luzier are complimented by a guitarist named Brian Young who is shit-hot on this.  Then Dave goes all dance-y on it…ugh.  “She’s Looking Good” is old-school and well done.

The indigestible:  The Doors’ “Soul Kitchen”.  Nobody needs to cover the Doors; Dave makes them sound like Smash Mouth.  Hendrix’ “If 6 Was 9” has too much of Dave’s boring talking voice, but not enough crooning.  His cover of the otherwise excellent Beatles number “Tomorrow Never Knows” (which he actually had the audicity to rename “That Beatles Tune”!?) sucks all the life and innovation out of a great song, as he wheezes to the finish line.    This is by far the worst song, even though he also covers “Let It All Hang Out”.

There is only one number here worth owning, which is his Las Vegas version of “Ice Cream Man”. He did this shortly after Your Filthy Little Mouth with Edgar Winter, Omar Hakim, Greg Phillinganes, and Nile Rodgers!  According to Dave’s autobiography Crazy From the Heat, this was recorded in a live in a video shoot.  The video was never released, but the audio finally was.  It lives up to the hype if not the wait.

Decide what you are willing to pay for one or two songs, and buy accordingly.

1/5 stars

WTF Search Terms: Iron Meiden edition

WTF Search Terms X:  Iron Meiden edition

It’s time for THE TENTH installment of WTF!  Like the others, this is a collection of strange/humorous/whatever search terms that somehow led people to mikeladano.com.  If you missed the last one, “Top ten edition”, click here!

  • who was the hunchback on the vban halen pretty woman video (It was David Lee Roth himself)
  • joe elliott kissing phil collen (No.)
  • iron meiden son so seven son yu tube 
  • mike patton quiet riot (I have no idea what these two things have in common.)
  • gene simmons rib removal (No.  Everybody knows that was Marilyn Manson)  :)
  • helix vedio tatoed guy (Snake the Tattoo Man)
  • beatles fan that send themselves in a box (?)
  • eddie “fingers” ojeda who odd is he in 2013
  • what did yall think of the movie machete (I liked it, how about you?)
  • why did steve hire blaze bayley (This is a question all Maiden fans still struggle with.)

See you next time!