TALAS – If We Only Knew Then What We Know Now… (1998 Metal Blade)
The Talas story did not end with the breakup of the band. Of course not; bands both famous and obscure like to reunite for nostalgia shows. Talas did that in 1997 with the original power trio lineup: Billy Sheehan on bass, Paul Varga on drums, and Dave Constantino on electric guitar. With classic material (from the first two Talas albums) and a few unreleased songs, they memorialized their reunion with a brand new live CD. Billy even pulled his old platform boots out of the closet for this one.
As usual the set opens with “Sink Your Teeth Into That” and an enthusiastic home town crowd. Talas only sounded better with age. The original voices are there and just as strong as they were in 1982. It actually sounds like everyone has improved over the years. A speedy “High Speed on Ice” is in the second spot ensuring no loss of momentum. Material from the first self-titled Talas album is included too (unlike the last live album Live Speed on Ice). “Expert on Me” is very pop in construction, but clearly not as great as the songs from album #2, Sink Your Teeth Into That. Speaking of which, the slow rumbler “Never See Me Cry” is brilliantly adapted to the stage.
“Power to Break Away” is one of the previously unrecorded songs, and it kicks it just as hot as anything from Sink Your Teeth Into That. It’s taut with hooks and the prerequisite bass workouts. “Tell Me True” is the second unreleased song, a slow non-descript dirge ballad that takes a while to get going.
Imagine Billy Sheehan plowing his bass right through a funky Led Zeppelin riff. That’s “Thick Head”, an awesome track from Talas (1979). “You” has a cool vibe, almost like an unheard Aerosmith demo from the Done With Mirrors era. A few other tunes from the first Talas (“Most People”, “Any Other Day” and “See Saw”) are adequately entertaining. Back to Sink Your Teeth Into That, “King of the World” is still one of the best Talas tunes, overshadowed by only a few like “Shy Boy”. Here, “Shy Boy” is preceded by a Paul Varga drum solo. The sheer velocity of “Shy Boy” itself makes me wonder how Varga did it. It’s just pedal to the metal, blurring the lines and smoking the minds.
Nothing like a good cover to help draw a live album to a close. Talas did two: “21st Century Schizoid Man” and “Battle Scar”. The King Crimson cover is a daring one to attempt. They somehow manage to strip it down and pull it off with integrity. As for “Battle Scar”? Total surprise there! Max Webster were just across the border from Buffalo, and Billy Sheehan nearly joined Max at one point late in their career. Introduced by a Billy Sheehan bass solo, this Max/Rush cover is the set closer. As a final addition, “Battle Scar” surely makes this one hell of an album for the history books. (The Japanese version has a bonus track called “Doin’ It Right” — this shall be reviewed at a later date. Our copy is on order but will not arrive for several weeks.)
Since this is a more recent release on a well known label (Metal Blade), it turns out that If We Knew Then What We Know Now is an easy CD to find in the shops. Fortunately this is a good first Talas album to add to any collection.
Oh, how I loathe lists! Readers seem to love “Top Whatever” lists; different kinds, but I sure do hate making them.
However, I don’t like doing things in half-measures either. So for this, the Top 15 on the 15th, I’ve gone one step beyond. Not only do you get my Top 15 on the 15th, but also a list of the Top 15 tracks to listen to from these 15 amazing albums.
As of today, here are my Top 15. These will change periodically, probably tomorrow, and again the day after. See why I hate lists? In the end I decided that I wanted to fairly represent some of my favourite artists. But enough whining from me — let’s rock. Spin these little bastards for a good time!
15. Judas Priest – Hell Bent for Leather (Killing Machine)
14. Max Webster – A Million Vacations
13. Queen – News of the World
12. Alice Cooper – School’s Out
11. The Beatles – The Beatles (The White Album)
10.Thin Lizzy – Johnny the Fox
9. Led Zeppelin – Houses of the Holy
8. Johnny Cash – At San Quentin
7.Faith No More – Angel Dust
6. Rush – Moving Pictures
5.Van Halen – 1984
Let’s stop here for a moment. The thing about my top albums list is, the top four never change. Four of these five albums have been in my top five for a long as I can remember making lists for. The order may change, but that top four have been my top four, forever. They are indelibly heat-stamped onto my grey matter. These are as much a part of me as my left arm!
4.Iron Maiden – Piece of Mind
3. Kiss – Hotter Than Hell
2.Deep Purple – Fireball
1.Black Sabbath – Born Again
Right there are 15 incredible collections of music, both studio and live. But let’s not fool ourselves. Nobody is going to listen to all 15 of those albums just because some guy on the internet who goes by the name of “LeBrain” said so. I have chosen to distill these 15 amazing records down into 15 key tracks. I’m sure nobody needs an introduction to the big hits, so here are tracks you may not have heard. If you have ever cared about rock music, then you need to listen to these Top 15 Songs from the Top 15 Albums, on the 15th!
1. Rush – “Vital Signs”
2. Black Sabbath – “Disturbing the Priest”
3. Queen – “It’s Late”
4. Iron Maiden – “Where Eagles Dare”
5. The Beatles – “Dear Prudence”
6. Johnny Cash – “San Quentin”
“If any of the guards are still speakin’ to me, can I get a glass of water?”
7. Led Zeppelin – “The Ocean”
8. Thin Lizzy – “Massacre”
9. Alice Cooper – “Gutter Cat vs. the Jets”
10. Deep Purple – “Fools”
11. Iron Maiden – “Revelations”
12. Judas Priest – “The Green Manalishi (With the Two-Pronged Crown)”
13. Alice Cooper – “My Stars”
14. Queen – “Spread Your Wings”
15. Deep Purple – “No No No”
Astute readers will realize that one singer appears on two albums. Ian Gillan was fronting Black Sabbath in ’83 for Born Again, and of course is best known as Deep Purple’s lead howler. Does this double appearance make Ian Gillan the greatest rock vocalist of all time? No. But the greatest does appear, with Queen on News of the World – Freddie Mercury!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #422: Sausagefest 2015 – The Complete Countdown
The annual trek to Sausagefest is centred upon the always epic Countdown. There were many misadventures on the way to the Countdown, and after. While I am sworn to abide by the credo “What happens at Sausagefest stays at Sausagefest,” I am also bound by my own nature as a storyteller. Therefore, I can share with you a number of brief tidbits, hints, and insinuations.
Yes founder Chris Squire died only days before the Sausagefest countdown. It was too late to include a tribute a Squire tribute into the countdown itself, so Tom and Uncle Meat sequenced about an hour of Squire’s best music to precede the actual countdown. This was a promising hour, but upon hitting “play” on the laptop, it was immediately obvious that something was wrong. We were only getting one channel. Yes music, with its layers and wide stereo panning, turned out to be great music to test the four speakers. Unfortunately it took almost all of the Squire-allotted time, seventeen men* and one record producer to figure out that all the muss was being caused by an RCA adapter somewhere. We got two Squire songs, excellent as they were.
The Countdown this year was informally dubbed “The Greatest Songs of All Time”, because for the first time in years, the slate had been cleared and any and all songs were open for voting. Because of this anything goes approach and some younger blood, we got to hear a lot of classic tunes that often are either overlooked or just not up for grabs. I’m sure this was the first ever appearance of Boston on the countdown. I can probably say the same for Foreigner. These top ten hits are offset by more obscure favourites by Ian Thomas and UFO.
Now below, please analyse and enjoy the one and only OFFICIAL 2015 Sausagefest Countdown. Every track was a winner. I’ve highlighted songs I voted for (only two this year).
1
Battle Scar
Max Webster/Rush
2
Shine on You Crazy Diamond^
Pink Floyd
3
Hallowed be Thy Name
Iron Maiden
4
Working Man
Rush
5
Sultans of Swing
Dire Straits
6
La Villa Strangiato
Rush
7
Eulogy for the Damned
Orange Goblin
8
When the Levee Breaks
Led Zeppelin
9
Natural Science
Rush
10
A Day in the Life
The Beatles/War mashup
^ The whole thing…parts I-IX.
Look at that majesty. FOUR RUSH SONGS IN THE TOP TEN!
11
Fatso Forgetso
Kyuss
12
Heaven and Hell
Black Sabbath
13
Toronto Tontos
Max Webster
14
Wish You Were Here
Pink Floyd
15
Superstition
Stevie Wonder
16
Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Iron Maiden
17
Master of Puppets
Metallica
18
End of my Daze
Trouble
19
Papa Was a Rolling Stone
The Temptations
20
The Trooper
Iron Maiden
21
Ramble Tamble
Creedence Clearwater Revival
22
War Pigs
Black Sabbath
23
Penis Ground
Groove Daddys
24
The Ocean
Led Zeppelin
25
Stranglehold
Ted Nugent
26
Sympathy for the Devil
The Rolling Stones
27
Muffin Man
Frank Zappa
28
Smokin’
Boston
29
Child in Time (Live ’72)
Deep Purple
30
Aces High
Iron Maiden
31
Into the Void
Black Sabbath
32
25 or 6 to 4
Chicago
33
Machine Gun
Jimi Hendrix/Band of Gypsies
34
Doctor Doctor
UFO
35
Kashmir
Led Zeppelin
36
Old Man
Neil Young
37
Suite: Judy Blue Eyes
CSNY
38
Illegal Smile
John Prine
39
Testify
Rage Against the Machine
40
Get Up Offa That Thing
James Brown
41
Belzelboss
Tenacious D
42
Emerald
Thin Lizzy
43
Sweatleaf
Black Sabbath
44
Tribute
Tenacious D
45
Tres Brujas
The Sword
46
I
Black Sabbath
47
The Temples of Syrinx
Rush
48
Space Oddity
David Bowie
49
46 & 2
Tool
“Then I fuckin’ diddle-riddle-dee-doo.”
50
Monkberry Moon Delight
Paul McCartney & Wings
51
39
Tenacious D
52
What is Hip?
Tower of Power
53
Over the Hills and Far Away
Led Zeppelin
54
The Mob Goes Wild
Clutch
55
Better Living Through Chemistry
Queens of the Stone Age
56
Mongoose
Fu Manchu
57
Roadhouse Blues
The Doors
58
Inside Looking Out
Grand Funk Railroad
59
Hurt
Johnny Cash
60
Don’t Stop Me Now
Queen
61
Careful with that Axe Eugene
Pink Floyd
62
The Chain
Fleetwood Mac
63
Ophelia
The Band
64
Jukebox Hero
Foreigner
65
Fairies Wear Boots
Black Sabbath
66
Where the Devil Don’t Stay
Drive By Truckers
67
Fat Bottomed Girls
Queen
68
Under Pressure
Queen
69
Fools Overture
Supertramp
70
The Pot
Tool
71
Tempus Fugit
Yes
72
Thunderstruck
AC/DC
73
Green Eyed Lady
Sugarloaf
74
Duke’s Travels
Genesis
75
Red Hot Mama
Funkadelic
76
Painted Ladies
Ian Thomas
77
Down by the River
Neil Young
Please note that double-shot of Queen, above!
Also note the presence of “Penis Ground” by the Groove Daddys (not to be confused with the Groove Daddies, or Groove Daddy). This was a local trio fronted by guitarist and singer extraordinaire Rob Szabo. I certainly didn’t expect anything that obscure making the list, considering the diversity of folks that attend. To rank all the way up at #23? That’s proof of the sheer quality of the music. Indi enough for ya?
Once again, a huge thanks to Tom, Meat and everyone else for working so hard for us. Thanks Craig Fee and Jeff Woods for your much-appreciated willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty. And lastly thanks to Uncle Meat for being such a delightful travel-mate this year. Enjoy some of these pictures from the weekend, official video still to follow!
The Setup:
How many ‘Festers does it take…
There are like two wires, Tom.
Supervisin’.
The Live Bands:
The Fest:
The Aftermath:
* I didn’t take a head-count, but I swear if it wasn’t seventeen guys trying to fix the thing, it was close. It doesn’t really matter because more wouldn’t have helped!
MAX WEBSTER – High Class in Borrowed Shoes(1977 Anthem)
It’s only the second Max Webster album, but the band were so tight and perfect that they got three radio classics off it. “Diamonds Diamonds”, “Gravity” and the title track are all three radio staples, and “On the Road” a live classic that Kim Mitchell occasionally plays unplugged. Every fan has a favourite Max album, and I think I probably know a couple who would put High Class in Borrowed Shoes as numero uno.
The album opens with the impressive “High Class in Borrowed Shoes”, a blaster that sounds to me like a Canadian Van Halen! Max had tamed some of their wackier tendencies (“Toronto Tontos”, anyone?) and focussed their chops. Not that the new Max (now featuring legendary drummer Gary McCracken) was normal by any definition. Just listen to the lullaby-like “Diamonds Diamonds”. Great song, but very different for a rock band. Its dreamlike mood is heightened by the surreal lyrics by Pye Dubois. Not to mention there are only six lines to the words!
“Gravity” would make my top five Max tracks in a heartbeat. “What do I know? I sat under a cloud. I looked up, afraid to look down.” Kim sounds like a little boy speaking the words, to great effect. The chorus is a big one, backed by a Kim’s riffing. I have no idea what this song is about, but to me the line “Forget that fear of gravity, get a little savagery in your life,” says everything. Don’t be afraid to take chances. As Pye’s friend Neil Peart once said, just roll the bones. That’s what it means to me, anyway.
Proving he has always been capable of tender ballads, “Words to Words” is one of Kim Mitchell’s first. The keyboards of Terry Watkinson keep it just a little left of center, but Kim’s acoustic work is impeccable and excellent. Pye Dubois’ lyrics are magical and stirring. It’s hard to overstate just how quality this song is. However ballads are usually best followed by scorchers, and that’s “America’s Veins”. Killer solos, smoking drums, and a chorus built for the concert stage: it’s here in one complete package.
“Oh War!” is an incredible monument of rock. AC/DC did a song with a similar vibe called “Little Lover”, but “Oh War!” is a completely different animal. The gonzo solos are more in the “Z” section of the rock aisle, as in “Zappa”. And check out the words! “‘Cause I say fuck you instead of thank you, your choice under your breath.” Yes, that’s what Uncle Kim, Canada’s favourite king of the summertime, just said! OK, so it wasn’t going to get on the radio with those words…but damn, it should have been. This song could have been almost as big as “Battle Scar” had it been.
I have a tape here of Kim Mitchell doing “On the Road” live in the MuchMusic studios, acoustically, on their Intimate and Interactive show. This is what you might call “campfire rock”, but that sells it far too short. “On the Road” is more than a song that would sound good played live around a fire, it has genuine soul that you can feel. It’s an incredible song, and once again, I wonder why Max Webster wasn’t friggin’ huge. “Rain Child” is next in line, which I would describe as a slow burner. Terry Watkinson’s keys take center stage, never intruding. “Rain Child” is a classic album track, and perfect for winding down the album.
Max Webster went mad on the last track, “In Context of the Moon”. This is the second of four “Moon” songs on the first four records: “Coming Off the Moon”, “Beyond the Moon”, and “Moon Voices” are the others. “In Context” can’t be described easily, because it spans many styles and tempos in just five measly minutes! How?! You have to play this one a few times just to get everything that is happening. It’s certainly one of the most challenging pieces of music Max have recorded. The four musicians must have rehearsed the shit out of this one. Anyway, at all times, it smokes. Whether it’s the bright intro guitars, or the metal riffs that follow them, or the sheer madness (including bass solo) that ensues, “In Context of the Moon” is always riveting. It’s just non-stop even though by the time you get to the end of it, you’ll wonder how you got there!
Final note: My good buddy T-Rev, who has guest written here a couple times before, met Gary McCracken after he moved to Sarnia. He was working at Fastenal when in came a guy to pick up an “order for Gary McCracken.” T-Rev pondered a bit before enquiring, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but were in a band called Max Webster?” Yes, he had. It was that Gary McCracken, and he was cool. I love little stories like that. Gary McCracken was Trevor’s biggest influence as a young drummer!
Popoff’s awesome book
There is nothing more to be said in just a single review. For the whole enchilada, get the book from martinpopoff.com! And be sure to get High Class in Borrowed Shoes for your collection.
1986 was the year it all went down. If you were a Van Halen fan, it was time to choose.
Of course, nobody really had to choose between Van Hagar and David Lee Roth. It’s not like every fan had only $10 to spend on albums that year. Fans did choose anyway, and even today almost 30 years later, we still argue about who’s best: Diamond Dave or the Red Rocker?
No matter who you sided with, there is no question that David Lee Roth stormed into 1986 with a killer new band and album.
Steve Vai! That’s enough right there to make for an incendiary band — just ask David Coverdale. Before Little Stevie Vai was a household name, he had earned the respect of Frank Zappa who hired him on after Joe’s Garage. He made his Zappa debut on Tinseltown Rebellion, before being snagged by Graham Bonnet in 1985 for Alcatrazz’s Disturbing the Peace. In that band, he had the unenviable task of replacing a Swedish guitar player you may have heard of called Yngwie J. Malmsteen. Needless to say, Steve Vai was already experienced in filling big shoes by the time David Lee Roth made contact.
Billy Sheehan! A lot of people think he’s the world’s greatest bass player, period. Eight finger lead bass, baby! Three albums with Talas didn’t do much in terms of sales, but the material was strong enough that one song was re-recorded for the Roth album.
Gregg Bissonette! Once you learn how to properly spell his name, you will recognize Bissonette on loads of album credits. Joe Satriani come to mind? How about Spinal Tap? For your information, Gregg Bissonette is still alive, and is still the current Spinal Tap drummer.
Combine those three virtuosos with the greatest frontman of all time, and you have best new band of 1986.
Van Halen’s 5150 came out in March, going to #1. That’s a hard act to follow. Eat ‘Em and Smile, however, ending up standing the test of time. I would argue that even though it’s not Van Halen, it’s still the best Van Halen album since 1984….
As if to say “Eddie who?”, the album opens with Steve Vai’s trademark talking guitar. I’m talkin’ about-a-“Yankee Rose”! Here’s the shot heard ’round the world indeed. Lyrically, musically, and instrumentally, this song truly is the spiritual successor to classic Van Halen. David Lee was still in prime voice, and does he ever pour it on! Sassy as ever, Roth sounds exactly how he should: the showman in the rock and roll circus. And let’s not forget Billy and Gregg. Sheehan’s slinky bass on the outro is space age groove.
“Shyboy” is an atomic bomb. Billy brought in this song from Talas, but there is no question that Dave’s version is vastly superior. I have no idea how Vai makes his guitar create these sounds. When he goes into syncopation with Billy on the fastest solo of all time, your head may be blown clean off. Please, do not attempt to listen to “Shyboy” in the car, without testing it at home first. As Steve’s guitar flickers from left to right, Billy’s bass is the fastest, baddest groove on record. “Shyboy” is of such high quality that I do not think any self-respecting rock fan can live without it. Virtually every trick that Steve had at the time was in this one song.
One thing that was special about Van-Halen-with-Dave was their fearlessness in doing odd covers, such as “Big Bad Bill” or “Oh Pretty Woman”. Dave took that with him, and included oldie swing covers like “I’m Easy”. Horn laden and with Steve’s expert licks, it should be no surprise that they nail this one. It’s much in the spirit of Dave’s solo EP, Crazy From the Heat, only better.
Perhaps the most outstanding song on Eat ‘Em and Smile would be “Ladies Nite in Buffalo?” Dave has always said he loves disco and dance music. This is the most perfect melding of that world with rock. Vai is rarely so funky, and there is no question that Dave has the vibe right. Smooth and steamy, “Ladies Nite in Buffalo?” is a tune perfectly in synch with activities of the nocturnal persuasion. Who else but Dave would be perfect to deliver this message?
“Goin’ Crazy” was a great track to make into one of Dave’s typically high flying music videos. It’s party rock time, with a tropical vibe. “Goin’ Grazy” worked particularly well when Dave re-released it in Spanish, as “¡Loco del calor!”. I used to consider this tune a bit of a throwaway, but it has certainly endeared itself over the years. Another meticulously perfect Vai solo doesn’t hurt, and Billy’s bass popping helps end side one on an up note.
Now there is a story here that needs to be told. Billy Sheehan was in Canadian progressive rock band Max Webster for “about three weeks” according to lead singer Kim Mitchell. Upon joining Dave’s band, he introduced them to Kim Mitchell’s solo track “Kids In Action”, which they decided to cover. Bill called Kim up to ask him for the lyrics, because they couldn’t quite make them all out. Kim supplied the words, and Dave recorded the song. However, it was dropped at the 11th hour, for another cover — “Tobacco Road”. David Lee Roth’s version of “Kids In Action” has yet to be released or even bootlegged. Not that I am complaining about “Tobacco Road”, another old cover! Yet again, the reliably awesome Steve Vai just sells it. There is no question that the whole song just smokes, but getting to hear Stevie playing this old blues? Pretty damn cool.
That’s nothing. You thought “Shyboy” was fast? Check out “Elephant Gun”! Billy’s fingers didn’t fall off, but mine would have. “I’ll protect you baby with my Elephant Gun”, claims Dave. Nudge, wink! Steve Vai’s been known to write blazing fast songs, and “Elephant Gun” is so fast it’s almost showing off. Wisely though, things get slow and nocturnal once again on “Big Trouble”. That’s a title Dave recycled from an old unused Van Halen song. (That song became “Big River” on A Different Kind of Truth.) Steve’s guitar melodies and solo on this are particularly celestial. Roth uses his speaking voice, spinning a tale as only he can. “Bump and Grind” is a perfectly acceptable album track, a sleaze rocker as only Dave can do. If I am interpreting the lyrics correctly, Dave is a dance instructor in this one. “Shake it slowly, and do that Bump and Grind”.
Much like “Happy Trails” ended Diver Down on a jokey note, Dave ends his first solo album with a cover: “That’s Life”, the song that Sinatra made famous. Coming from the guy who did “Just a Gigolo”, we know he can do that kind of thing very well. The first time I heard the album years ago, I shrugged and said, “Another one?” Now, older and fatter, I sez it’s all good! Zop-bop-doop-zooby-dooby-doo indeed. Funny thing though. When I think of Diver Down, I think of a fun but fairly shallow album of half covers. When I think of Eat ‘Em and Smile, I don’t question the integrity of it. I don’t know why I seem to hold that double standard.
In this writer’s humble opinion, Eat ‘Em and Smile was David Lee Roth’s finest moment as a solo artist. It was not nearly as well known as 5150, OU812, or any of Van Hagar’s albums, and that is almost criminal. The talent in this band, pound for pound, outweighed anybody else going at the time, including Van Halen. Shame they couldn’t make it last.
“1980 will be a year long remembered. It has seen the end of Max Webster, and will soon see the end of Led Zeppelin.” — Darth Vader
All good things must indeed come to an end. If there was one band — just one band! — out of the Great White North that truly deserved better things, it was Max Webster. Much like their soul mate, Frank Zappa, Max Webster had successfully inserted humour into complex progressive rock songs. The big difference was that Max tended to keep it to guitar-bass-keyboards-drums. Their musicianship was unimpeachable. Much like Bubbles shouted out “Geddy Lee! Neil Peart! Alex Lifeson!” to emphasize the awesomeness of Rush, I shout “Kim Mitchell! Terry Watkinson! Gary McCracken!”
Maybe it was the skinny balding front man in the tights, the weird but deep lyrics, or the goofy keyboards. One way or another, Max Webster never saw the success that their friends Rush did, and Universal Juveniles would be the last Max record. Genius keyboardist Terry Watkinson was out of the band, although he did play on the album. Kim Mitchell folded the band mid-tour after the record, unable to hack it any longer.
Kim’s smoking chops open “In The World of Giants”, perhaps the world that Rush occupied and Max failed to enter. Max sound stripped back, with minimal piano and keyboards. What a song though. Surely “In the World of Giants” is one of Max Webster’s most breakneck rock songs, albeit with the complexity of riff and licks that you would expect. At the same time, do I sense a certain amount of fatigue, between the grooves?
There’s no detectable tiredness on “Check”, which will wake you right the fuck up! There’s nothing like a good, joyous, loaded-with-all-the-guitar-fixin’s Max Webster romp. Want some shredding? “Check this out!” At only 2 1/2 minutes, “Check” is all it needs to be — in and out, the mission of kicking ass all complete. Yet Max Webster was not about simply rocking, so “April in Toledo” brings some funk. The classic refrain of “I wanna run to Niagara, I’ll cry and cry in the dark” is joined by gleeful guitars, to create the picture perfect mixture of Max confection perfection. I’m still sitting here scratching my head wondering how Kim got that weird guitar sound in the solo so perfect, but I’m soon distracted by another awesome chorus.
“Juveniles Don’t Stop” is a Max party anthem; not as memorable as “The Party” itself, but still good to crank with some cold ones. Don’t get too loaded though — you don’t want to miss the double barrelled blast that is “Battle Scar”. What could be more epic than a duet with Rush vocalist Geddy Lee? Oh, how about doing the whole song with Rush — a double trio! That’s two bass guitars opening the song. That’s Neil Peart and Gary McCracken providing the dual beats. (You sure can tell when it’s Neil doing a drum roll, that’s for sure!) That’s Alex Lifeson accompanying Kim Mitchell in a legendary guitar team-up. Geddy Lee, in peak voice, provides the vocal chills necessary to top off such an epic alignment. Truly, “Battle Scar” is not just an important song for Canadian rock, but a track that any serious rock fan should seek out and own. You simply owe it to yourself to do so.
There’s some sneaky understated goodness in “Chalkers” but I find it to be one of the less memorable tracks. It’s notable for containing the phrase “universal juveniles” in the lyrics, lending it for the album title. “Drive and Desire” is a bigger song, a sizeable rocker with a nice bluesy vibe. McCracken’s drums on this one are purely delicious. Even better is the slow mournful “Blue River Liquor Shine”. It foreshadows some of the songs on Kim’s excellent solo EP, Kim Mitchell. A proud achievement, “Blue River Liquor” does indeed shine with Max classics of the past.
“What Do You Do With the Urge” is a wreckless Max party rocker, just in time to set us up for the final Max Webster song — the last one ever, sadly. “Cry Out for Your Life” lurches like a wounded soldier crawling to the warmth of safety. Loads of Max class abound, but there does seem to be less glee, less shimmer. Perhaps the end was inevitable. Although Kim and the gang turned in another jaw dropping Max Webster record, something was wrong and it sounds somewhat forced at times.
Kim Mitchell had tremendous success with his solo career in Canada. Anthems such as “Go For Soda” have been immortalized in our memories, and on our TV sets. Who can forget the moment in Season 7 of Trailer Park Boys, when Bubbles goes to “rock a piss”, and Ricky responds, “You go rock a piss, I’m gonna get ‘er going with the Mitchell!” Then: Bubbles peeing to the tune of “Go For Soda”, bopping his head in time with the music! Just classic. On the more sentimental side, Kim appealed to the adults in the crowd with “Patio Lanterns” and “Easy To Tame”. He really aimed to please everybody….
…Except the fans of old, goofy Max progressive rock. Universal Juveniles is its capstone.
Welcome to the 400th freakin’ instalment of Record Store Tales/Getting More Tale!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #400: The Open Door Shit Theory
The following is my own theory, based on memory and knowledge of the people and circumstances involved. I call it the “Open Door Shit” theory because the Record Store alumnus in question, Joe “Big Nose”, is already well renowned for his Open Door Piss. Sometimes circumstances may dictate that the easiest course of action is to take a dump with the door wide open. This is the theory of those circumstances.*
My theory depends on a few facts and several assumptions.
FACT #1: Joe “Big Nose” worked alone at his Record Store for an average of four hours per day.
FACT #2: Joe is a human being who has to shit periodically.
ASSUMPTION #1: Anything he says is potentially merely a joke.
ASSUMPTION #2: Then again, anything he says is also potentially the truth masquerading as a joke. That’s his modus operandi.
ASSUMPTION #3: When it comes to gross-out stories about bodily functions, he was more than likely telling the truth. His friends testify that they have heard similar stories from him in the past. I was told by Uncle Meat that this story is “probably true”.
Although I haven’t been there for a while, I do remember his store well. I got to work a couple shifts, though never with Big Nose himself. It was a small store, with a small bathroom, located behind the counter off to the side. The story that Big Nose told me was this: On at least one occasion, he had to take a giant shit while working alone. He waited for the store to empty completely, and then rather than lock the door and put up a “Back in 5” sign, he kept it open.
Because store layout is crucial to this theory, I had contributor Thussy draw a rough store layout using AutoCAD. You can see, from his extremely accurate rendition, how Joe’s toilet had a direct line of sight to the store entrance.
Thanks to Thussy for this wonderful AutoCAD layout
Big Nose told me that in order to take a shit while working alone, he decided to do it with the door open, so he could easily spy if a customer was about to enter.
He also told me that when a customer did enter, they were greeted by the toxic stench slowly wafting over from the washroom. According to Big Nose, the customer visibly wrinkled their nose at the smell.
Is this story true? I believe it to be. But only Big Nose knows!
* Former co-worker Dave “Homer” has confirmed that Big Nose did in fact take an open-door dump in-store, with him as a witness. He adds that the store’s counter would have blocked the line of sight unless Joe stood up.
RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale #342: All in a Day’s Drive
Friday November 21, 2014 was a pretty nice day weather wise. There was no precipitation and the skies were clear. If you’re going to pick a day to make a drive down the 401, you couldn’t have picked a better one. Jen needed to see a doctor at the hospital in Mississauga, so off we went. [Note: don’t worry, she’s fine. This is regarding her epilepsy.] I brought music and reading materials, and kept a log of the rock:
9 am: Depart Kitchener for Brampton. Playing in the car: Deep Purple – Smoke on my Mega-Mix, a bootleg compilation CD of remixes and live tracks.
10 am: Pick up Jen’s mom in Brampton [she spent the weekend with us]. Depart for Mississauga. Playing on car stereo: Van Halen – 5150. As a “bonus track”, I tacked on the live version of “Why Can’t This Be Love” (from the music video) to the end of the playlist. Jen’s comment: “The singing on this is… (pause)…really not as good as the regular version.” She’s right.
6:30 pm: Finally arrive home after 2 1/2 hour crawl along Highway 401! The whole way was brake light city. Just a tedious, slow drive. There was no reason for it. From what I could tell, it was all caused by commuters that didn’t know how to properly merge. When somebody leaves you 5 or 6 car lengths space to merge in, take it. Don’t race further ahead to see if you can get in front of that transport truck and that guy in the Hyundai. Car music: Van Halen – Fair Warning, Diver Down, and A Different Kind of Truth. Yes, that means Jen and her mom heard a LOT of Van Halen today. And that’s fucking cool.
“Looking for the good life, in between all the clatter Tonight I’m at the Bojar Grill, and they’re serving up only Tennessee water.”
KIM MITCHELL – Kim Mitchell (1982 Anthem)
This is an incredibly difficult review to write. How? How can words do justice to this magnificent 5-song EP of rock perfection? Am I supposed to somehow relay in English how this album makes me, and many other Max Webster fans feel? I don’t think it too crazy to suggest that the self-titled Kim Mitchell EP is the greatest EP our country has produced. As far as rock music goes in general, you will find very few Canadian releases as solidly untouchable as Kim Mitchell. To say this is an intimidating review to attempt is an understatement. There will be some reading this whose knowledge of Kim and Max vastly exceeds mine, and even though I have played this EP hundreds upon hundreds of times, I still need to actually play it again in order to convey to you how excellent it truly is.
Kim Mitchell burned out on Max Webster. There were numerous lineup changes towards the end, and Kim walked out. He was quick to bounce back with some new band members (Peter Fredette, Robert Sinclair Wilson, Paul DeLong) and some new songs. Still with Kim through the breakup was Max Webster lyricist Pye Dubois, the only holdover from that band. (Ex-Max bassist Mike Tilka was also an executive producer, as he was on the Max albums after he left.) Kim settled into a recording studio in Oshawa Ontario (!) with the legendary Jack Richardson.
The guitar blasts of “Kids In Action” are sometimes included on Max Webster hits albums, but it was originally released as the opening track on Kim Mitchell. “I guess we’re just gonna have to be the best bonfire in town,” sings Kim, and I think he succeeded. “We want modern thrills, we want rock n’ roll that kills,” sing the backing band. I think we got it.
“Kids In Action” is the perfect storm of Max’s harder side, with Kim’s newly found-melodic sensibilities. That guitar is hard (though just as finger-lickin’-good) but the choruses have a new harmonic sheen. Peter Fredette provided backing vocals to the record, and Kim fans know how awesome and integral he is to Kim’s solo sound. Meanwhile DeLong can’t resist throwing in some Max-worthy drum fills that shake the cranium. (I read somewhere that David Lee Roth’s band had worked on a cover of “Kids In Action” for Diamond Dave’s first solo album.)
What a killer opener. Yet “Miss Demeanor” may be the best tune on the record. This one has always sort of reminded me of “Beast of Burden” by the Stones, and I often sequenced them together on mix CDs. It’s harder than “Beast of Burden”, but has irresistible “ooh ooh” backing vocals. Everything about this song is perfect from the simple riff to the amazing rhythm section. Kim unexpectedly throws on an acoustic solo, just as terrific as any electric solo would be. The song is also supersaturated with nice little electric guitar licks.
If you title a song “Big Best Summer” then it had better sound like it. Kim’s “Big Best Summer” is as gleeful as you want it to be, with most of the joy coming across in the guitar licks. Once again the rhythm section has it laid down perfect, leaving Kim plenty of space to splash down tons of little guitar bits and pieces. “Sometimes we thought we were the only ones under the sun.” Yeah, I think I’ve had those summers too.
If “Miss Demeanor” wasn’t the best tune on the album, then “Tennessee Water” has to be. This one blows the doors off, with a slippery southern guitar lick and relentless groove that keeps cooking and won’t stop. This is also Pye’s first lyrical mention of the Bojar Grill, that I am aware of. It’s good time rock n’ roll, performed by guys who really know they’re doing. Incredible stuff. I definitely gotta hit up this Bojar Grill.
The slow rock of “Chain of Events” was chosen to close the record. There are a couple slight dissonant chords that keep the song on the experimental side. It also has a strange rhythmic quality, and quirky Pye lyrics. Kim’s guitar solo is bizarre and Zappa-esque. This song would have satisfied any Max fans who worried that some of the other tunes were too straightforward. And that’s the EP.
It’s worth noting that unlike Kim’s later albums, and also unlike Max Webster, this EP has no keyboards. This allows the bass guitar to breath, and leaves Kim plenty of space for guitar fun. As such, this is the toughest Kim solo release by far. As good as Akimbo Alogo was, this is undeniably even better.
KIM MITCHELL – Shakin’ Like A Human Being (1986 Alert)
Kim Mitchell really seemed to soften up on 1986’s Shakin’ Like A Human Being. It’s Mitchell’s most successful album, featuring the massive hit single “Patio Lanterns”. A lot of people are very fond of Shakin’ Like A Human Being, but I for one find it inferior to Akimbo Alogo in almost every way, especially production. Still, I haven’t played Shakin’ in a couple years, so let’s have a listen and try to be fair.
There’s certainly nothin’ wrong with the opener, “Get Lucky (Boys and Girls)”. Kim wisely commenced the party with a rocker similar to Akimbo Alogo. Synths are kept to a minimum, and a shout-along chorus that’s easy to remember is always a plus on a Kim Mitchell album. Pye’s lyrics are as cool as ever. “The more moral you get the more oral we get.” I love that. Kim tops the cake with a fun melodic guitar solo which is like the cherry on top — uber sweet.
Paul Delong is a fantastic drummer, and he gets a nice long (but clanky) intro on “In My Shoes”. Unfortunately the song itself suffers from too much synth and programming. It does have a nice little guitar lick to it and a great chorus, but the song is just too middle of the road. “Alana Loves Me”, though a ballad, is better. The chorus, featuring Peter Fredette, is stellar. Too bad that synth is back.
“Patio Lanterns” sure does bring on the nostalgia. The lyrics are so pure and perfect. Even though it’s one of Kim’s softest moments, there is an integrity here in its earnest honesty. Although Max Webster were a progressive rock band, as a solo artist Kim Mitchell definitely evolved into cottage rock. This kind is song is the type that we hosers play on those warm July evenings on the cottage patio, outside speakers and beer at the ready. It’s the kind of song everybody seems to like.
Side closer “That’s the Hold” is the hardest rock moment on the album. It’s one of my favourite 80’s Kim rockers, and if didn’t have so much damn synth on it, it would be a classic. The live version on I Am A Wild Party is much better. Too bad.
The second side commences limply with “In Your Arms”. This is just synthetic syrup. This is the only song that isn’t written by the duo of Mitchell and Dubois: keyboardist Todd Booth co-wrote it, which might explain why I cannot discern any guitars until the song is half done. But it gets worse: I cannot stand “City Girl”. There is no redeeming value to this steaming pile of synth and bad lyrics.
The fine country twang of the hit “Easy to Tame” is unfortunately tempered by…grrrr!…too much damn synth! I should be able to hear Kim’s Fender clear and true, but it is buried beneath keys. It’s still a great song, but all I really want is to hear what it would sound like without the keys. The music video, vocals and guitar solo are all great at least. Incidentally, the music video is a completely different mix of the song.
“Cameo Spirit” is pretty cool, although it’s another slow keyboard song. This is the kind of sentimental ballad that Kim became very adept at writing, post-Max. His spare guitars are delightful, but I only wish for more of them. The final track “Hitting the Ground” is equally good, but also equally drenched in keys. The chorus is stellar, as are Pye’s lyrics. Fortunately there are some guitars to sink your teeth in. At least you end the album on an up note.
Sadly, Shakin’ Like A Human Being is the last Kim Mitchell album to feature his legendary O.P.P. (Ontario Provincial Police) baseball hat on the cover. Shakin’ could have been a great album, equal or superior to Akimbo. I place blame fully on the production. Kim Mitchell self produced this album, so if anyone is to blame for all the synth and keyboards, it’s gotta be him. Of note, Kim produced it at Le Studio, the same place Rush recorded Moving Pictures. Too bad. Oh what might have been.
TALAS – If We Only Knew Then What We Know Now… (1998 Metal Blade)
mikeladano.com 