Welcome back to WTF! Click here if you missed the last one. This edition collects some musical Google searches that somehow led people here to this blog. Enjoy these head-scratchers and WTFs!
This first guy’s obviously an idiot.
10. steve morse sucks
9.is paul stanley loosoing his voice?
8.i wouldl like to hear mob rules (why, how polite!)
7.life+it+up+kiss
6.black sabbath paranoid deluxe edition where is the 3 disc (right there.)
5.phrase from what tv show – it’s the final countdown!! (Arrested Development.)
4.puff daddy’s embarring habit
3.new kids on the block poster greatest hits
2.real elvis videos tumblr hornny holes
And this week’s winner:
1.marilyn manson with butt plug
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Part 1 of a 2-part series on this album. Part 2 will come when I acquire the version with the bonus live disc!
AC/DC – Stiff Upper Lip (2000 Warner)
One doesn’t so much review an AC/DC album as just tell the listener what the songs are called. Stiff Upper Lip is a bit of an exception to that rule for me, as it seemed to be a really solid return to an early-1970’s form. Just listen to the irresistible “Hold Me Back”. Can’t you imagine Bon singing this one?
My first AC/DC album was Dirty Deeds Done Dirty Cheap. I grew up listening to Bon, and Stiff Upper Lip is the most rock n’ roll sounding AC/DC album since his death. It seems they dropped some (but certainly not all) of the heavy riffing, leaving room for Malcolm and Angus to weave together some tasty guitar lines into song. Phil Rudd’s simple metronomic rhythms are perfectly suited to this approach.
When they do get their riff on, it’s on tracks like the relentless “Safe in New York City”. Yet I keep coming back to the laid back picking style of tunes like “Can’t Stand Still”. It doesn’t get much simpler nor satisfying.
The album was produced by Harry Vanda and George Young, much like the classic of old. They captured great performances, clear and uncluttered. Not every song here is a winner, most Johnson-era albums have filler. Stiff Upper Lip‘s filler ratio is remarkably low.
A European/Australian exclusive “tour edition” contained a bonus CD with an unreleased track (“Cyberspace”) and five live tracks. Most of this material is also available on the massive Backtracks box set. But we’ll talk about that bonus disc another time…
4/5 stars
When I need to hear some more recent AC/DC, 9 times out of 10, I reach for Stiff Upper Lip.
November/December 1995 was freakin’ busy. We sold a lot of discs that Christmas. What we didn’t do was listen to a lot of discs! No; our boss really, really liked Don Henley and TLC. He played them ad-nauseum. Like on repeat three times in a row. I’m not kidding about that. I distinctly remember the repeat. Here are the Top Three Discs I Had to Listen to Until My Ears Bled, December 1995.
3. Boney M – Christmas Album
2. Don Henley – Actual Miles
1. TLC – CrazySexyCool
Trevor on the other hand was introducing me to Oasis and managed to get a few cool discs into rotation:
3. The Beatles – Anthology Vol. 1 (usually just disc 2)
2. Foo Fighters – Foo Fighters
1. Oasis – (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
We were also working with this new guy, Donnie, and we let him pick Dance Mix ’95 a few times. Unfortunately, the Big Shiny Tunes series hadn’t begun yet.
I didn’t get to pick as many discs as the others — the boss didn’t like my picks. When I did, I chose the new Def Leppard – Vault (Greatest Hits 1980-1995).
Looking back, there were also a few albums that I found utterly disappointing that season. They included:
3. AC/DC – Ballbreaker
2. Lenny Kravitz – Circus
1. Savatage – Dead Winter Dead
All three were albums that I was solidly looking forward to, but largely disappointed me. I never did buy Circus. I own the other two, but only because I’m a completest (and I got AC/DC for $3).
Finally there were three albums that really got me through that season. I had just been dumped by my first serious girlfriend and I was really angry about it. Away from work (my boss didn’t want these ones played in the store) these three albums totally spoke to me that Christmas:
3. Alice in Chains – Alice in Chains
2. Ozzy Osbourne – Ozzmosis
1. Iron Maiden – The X Factor
Let me tell you something people: I still fuckin’ hate TLC. I’ll never go chasin’ waterfalls, ever again.
1. Each of these are real search terms, typed in by real people on a search engine like Google.
2. Somehow, each of these search terms led them to ME!
So here’s 10 more for this installment!
A week isn’t a week unless I get hits from people looking for stuff like this. I’m still assuming that people don’t know how to spell the word “lesbian”.
lebrain sex
lebrani nude 1
Here’s a good one:
why is here i go again not on reissue of slide it in
Because it’s not on Slide It In. It’s on 1987, sillypants.
This guy can’t spell the singer’s name, nor the name of the site he’s looking for.
you too runny james dio neon nights
Here’s a selection that led people to some of my Kiss reviews:
just how bad is peter criss’ ’78 solo album?
was peter criss’ ’78 solo album really that bad
why did paul feel unwanted and alone in the carnival
patty stanley stripper
jean simmons with a moustache
And finally, if this guy had his way, we’d all be speaking Anglesh:
I used to enjoy staff meetings. When we were a small chain, we’d gather all the employees up after work at one of the larger locations. If memory serves (and Lord knows we’re talking about 18 years ago now), the boss even brought a case of beer to the first one. We’d go over ideas, improvements, problems, shoot the shit, it was informal and it was great! It was one of the only times we’d have everybody together in one room.
As we expanded, that became impractical. We started having meetings with just the managers. These were a bit more serious in nature, sometimes heated, but we held them at a restaurant. The boss would pay for everybody’s beer and food, which was really cool. We’d have a good time, it was for social purposes as well as practical. We usually held these “Manager’s Meetings” in the closest East Side Mario’s. Decent, not the greatest food in the world, but I liked it.
It’s a shame this wasn’t the 1980’s. Then we could have had the meetings at a place like Mother’s Pizza! Mother’s Pizza was the best pizza place in town. I went there for every birthday. It was co-owned by Ernie Whitt, the catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays. Later on, Cito Gaston bought in as well. Mother’s. Now that was a pizza.*
Ahem. Sorry. I tend to lose my train of thought when I talk about food.
We’d mess with each other. I remember my boss had one pen that he just loved. Loved it. Freaked out when he misplaced it. He’d run around the store yelling “WHERE MY PEN!” in a funny voice. So somebody sneakily stole his pen just before the staff meeting.
We went to Mario’s for the meet. Upon arrival, he complained a bit about misplacing his pen, but got on to business. A short while later, one of the store managers was casually writing with it, nonchalant. His pen. His precious…waiting for him to notice it in someone else’s hands.
Suddenly, he saw. He pointed. “MY PEN! MY PEN! YOU HAVE MY PEN!” he yelled in that funny voice again. Kids at the table next to us stared, wondering who this guy was!
Yeah, those were good times. But as George Harrison said, all things must pass. I’ve talked before about “The Great Change”, when CD sales started to slump. Budgets got tighter, things got more serious. Staff meetings were moved to a stuffy boardroom in the back of one of our stores. We started receiving extensive emails with the “minutes” from the meeting, the mind-numbing minutiae. This was a long way from beer and pizza. The atmosphere was dour and the meetings sometimes dragged on for 2 hours.
After the meetings, I’d sometimes shoot the shit with one or two of the other store managers.
“What was that?” I would say. “I could have said all that in one email!”
“Was there anything said in that meeting that couldn’t have been covered in one email?” someone asked rhetorically.
It was at one of these staff meetings that Joe dubbed me with the nickname Señor Spielbergo because of my thick beard. But in the later days, that was one of the few moments of levity. For me these meetings were just a stagnant waste of time. Hours upon hours of time that I’ll never get back.
* I hear they opened a new Mother’s Pizza in Hamilton. Maybe, for future record store kids, the dream of a staff meeting at Mother’s Pizza is alive again? I hope so.
Finally, Aaron actually found me a CD copy of this album, only the second one I’ve ever encountered. He asked me to do a “package opening” video when this surprise arrived, so I did. The unintentionally funny results are below:
Needless to say I have some history with this album. Before too long, T-Rev would start incorporating lyrics from this album into our daily dialogue. For example:
“Hey Trevor, how’re you doing?”
“Back in the Tracksuit!”
I have a hard time describing this album. It has a snearing punky vibe, hilarious shrieky lead vocals and lyrics to match, topped with an Irish accent and guitars! “Back in the Tracksuit” is a perfect example of this; a blast of punk guitars & drums with the bizarrely catchy lead vocals of Niall O’Flaherty. Half the time we couldn’t figure out what he was singing. “Indeed You Are” sounds like he’s singing “Konichiwa!”
“Veronica” is a cute serenade with strings and harmonica. Maybe it’s a take on early period Beatles, filtered through their own bedraggled lenses. “2 Pints of Rasa” is in a similar spirit: a stroll through the park on a sunny Saturday afternoon “drinking with the guys”…and with strings! In the lyrics, O’Flaherty proclaims to his girl of interest, “but I still like you, you are my ice cream.”
A broadside shot of breakneck guitars kick off “Stupid Kid”. T-Rev and the rest of us loved this refrain. The chorus was infectious! “You’re stupid, S-T-U-P-I-D kid!” I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more entertaining combination of snark and melody. One of the best tunes on the album. “You Talk Too Much” is a twin brother, shrieks and surf-rock drums notwithstanding.
A rollicky bass intro kicks off “Give Him a Ball (And a Yard of Grass)”, and the body surfing begins! I have no idea what O’Flaherty is singing for most of it, but it hardly matters. You can sing along as if you do, and nobody will notice.
“Karaoke Queen” is OK, a little slack, but it is quickly followed by “Let’s Go Shopping”. It’s another one of those sentimental Sultans numbers about, well, going shopping. We always found the jubilant lyrics quite mirthful:
Put on your flip-flops and we’ll go shopping, dear
Put on your flip-flops, we’ll go flip-flopping, dear
You can buy crisps and I can buy jam,
You push the trolley, I’ll push the pram.
The sentiment stops there, since the next song is entitled “Kick Me With Your Leather Boots”! That means you can count on brisk, boisterous shenanigans. “Clitus Clarke” approaches being skip-worthy, but who cares since the final song is our favourite, “Where’s Me Jumper?”
My brother knows Karl Marx He met him eating mushrooms in the public park He said ‘What do you think of my manifesto?’ I like your manifesto, put it to the testo.
It’s just great fun. You can’t help but move to it. To me this album would be worth buying just for the one song.
Thankfully, this collection has an assortment of really great songs and some pretty good ones too. All of them are gladdening and memorable, so for that reason Casual Sex in the Cineplex has a permanent spot in my car’s MP3 player.
CRAZY HEART Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (2010 NewWest)
Produced by T Bone Burnett and Stephen Bruton
I grew up on this kind of music. I remember long drives to the cottage, singing away to the hits by Hank Jr., Hank Sr., Johnny, Willie, and Waylon…all those great artists. So to hear Jeff Bridges perform his character Bad Blake’s songs on this soundtrack is already in the ballpark of music I love. The great thing about this soundtrack is that it’s loaded with awesome original tunage such as “Fallin’ & Flying'” and “The Weary Kind”, but it also has great oldies by Townes, Buck and Waylon. There’s even a classic Lightnin’ Hopkins blues.
Buck Owens’ “Hello Trouble” (1964) is lyrically as apt as ever. Townes Van Zandt’s “If I Needed You” (1972) is laden with emotion within an inventive dual-track lead vocal. But it’s “Once A Gambler” by Hopkins that I am spellbound by. It’s shocking how vibrant this old recording is, and it’s gotta be 50 years old. Much like the singer’s name, the playing, singing and song itself are electrifying. You couldn’t record this better today with all the computers in the world.
Meanwhile, Jeff’s performance on “Somebody Else” is more rock n’ roll; this is an original tune by T Bone Burnett and Stephen Bruton. It has a live sound to it. Bridges’ lead vocal edges into nasal territory, but the dude was 61 years old at the time. Another new tune, “I Don’t Know” by Ryan Bingham is firmly in 80’s Steve Earle territory, and that’s fine by me.
I saw Crazy Heart and I thought they did a fairly credible job, but I very rarely like it when Hollywood types do these types of films. Leave the singing to the singers (I’m looking at you, Gwenyth Paltrow!). Still, this Bridges/Ferrell track is roadhouse-worthy.
Sure, in some cases I would agree with that. Nobody needed Eddie Murphy to make an album for example. In the case of “Fallin’ & Flyin'”, I really like this track. It was written to suit Jeff’s leathery but expressive singing voice. Jeff Bridges is no slouch; I’m sure Kris Kristofferson taught him a few tricks when they jammed behind the scenes during Heaven’s Gate. Jeff’s slant on “I Don’t Know” is more country than Bingham’s and features piano and squeezebox. I believe I am well on record for being a fan of the Dude in the first place.
There’s only one tune I didn’t like, which is “Reflecting Light” by Sam Phillips (2004). Sorry Sam. It’s not you; it’s me.
My only regret is picking up the single disc version before I knew there was a double disc with even more tunes. At some point in the future I’ll trade up. I got this used, at Encore Records, so not a huge expense (I paid $10) and I can always trade up.
RECORD STORE TALES Part 195: REZ – Between Heaven ‘N Hell
March, 1986.
“I got some cool new bands,” said Bob one day after school. He had been working at the nearby Harvey’s restaurant and had been exposed to some unfamiliar music from his co-workers.
“Have you ever heard of Christian rock?” he asked me.
“Yeah,” I answered. “Stryper are Christian rock. I like Stryper.”
“Well,” Bob explained, “I taped all the best songs by two awesome bands: REZ and Darrell Mansfield. REZ is short for Resurrection Band. Darrell has this awesome song called ‘Thunder and Lightning’. You have to hear it! It is so cool.” Bob then sang the chorus to me. Sounded good.
The songs he, and soon I, were enthralled with were as follows:
Darrell Mansfield: “Thunder and Lightning”, “After the Storm”.
REZ: “Zuid Afrikan”, “2,000”, and “Shadows”.
Bob taped them from a guy at Harvey’s, and then I taped them from him. I had a third generation tape, which I played over and over. We played the hell out of those three REZ songs. They were absolutely incredible songs, and the lyrics were cool too. They didn’t come across as “overtly” Christian, but all had positive messages. Bob particularly loved “Shadows”, and a brilliant song it was. He loved the lyrics, as Bob and I were both very anti-drug:
In the words of his mama, ‘He was my only son.’ In the words of his sister, ‘He was on the run.’ In the words of his girl, ‘How could it end this way?’ In the words of his daddy, ‘Well he never had much to say.’
The lyrics mentioned “angel dust and tortured dreams”, and we knew what had happened to the subject character of the song. It focuses on the friends and family left to carry on. But before too long, an uplifting chorus:
Lord You, You took the shadows, All my fears and doubts, and brought me out of the night, Lord You, You take the shadows, Give me hope and love, turn my darkness to light.
For a little while, we had a new favourite song.
We didn’t know the name of the singer (Glenn Kaiser), but his gravelly voice was a cross between Bob Seger and Rod Stewart. He was our new vocal hero that spring. Now, if only we could hear more by REZ…
March, 1998.
By this time, my old cassette tape with the REZ songs was unlistenable. Because of this I hadn’t heard anything by the band in many years. I had been working at the store for four years, but never saw any listing for this band. But T-Rev had a tendency to check out-of-the-way places for CDs. Downtown Kitchener one Sunday afternoon, we were checking out a new local pawn shop. In their $1.99 CD bin, I found an interesting title: I believe it wascalled Inspirational Rock. It struck my eye immediately because one of the included tracks was “Shadows”, by REZ. It was an automatic purchase.
I closed the door and hit play. A single haunting, acoustic guitar played a dark melody.
You, you chase the shadows, Because your hopes and dreams have been lost in the night.
Once again, I had a new favourite song.
March, 2008.
I learned that Between Heaven ‘N Hell, by REZ, was finally issued on CD, 23 years after its initial release! Amazon.com had it for a reasonable price, and of course I had to have it. For the first time in almost two decades, I had the chance to hear “2,000” and the anti-apartheid track “Zuid Afrikan” once again. And they were just as good as the first time I heard them. I found other standout tracks as well, such as the scorching “I Think You Know”.
I was surprised to find that the band had a second lead vocalist, Wendy Kaiser. In fact she’s on the front cover! Her songs tend to be more new wave oriented, but she does rock out on some, like “Save Me From Myself” and “Nervous World”. Unfortunately, her voice is not to my taste, so I tend to gravitate solely to the Glenn Kaiser songs.
The final song on the album is “2,000”, one that Bob and I used to rock out to all those years ago, in the parking lot of Stanley Park Sr. Public School on Hickson Ave. in Kitchener We’d pop like 14 D-cells or something like that into a ghetto blaster, grab a basketball, and shoot some hoops while listening to “2,000”. We loved the futuristic, echo-y vocal. This was an anti-nuclear weapons song, much like Ozzy was doing around the same time on his Ultimate Sin album.
Shame this one wasn’t a scorcher all the way through. Still, it has enough positive rock power, gritty but powerful choruses, and memorable songs to earn a passing grade.
My understanding is that this EP, much like Twisted Sister’s Under the Blade, was remixed and re-released. It is the remixed version that I got in Mississauga at the Toronto Musical Collectibles Record Show. I’ve wanted this EP for a long time, but for some reason it’s only now that I finally picked it up. I was pleased to find it an enjoyable listen, easily on a par with Out of the Cellar, possibly Ratt’s best album.
Europe got 7 tracks on their version of the original mix (wishlist!), but this remixed version only has six. Missing is “You’re In Trouble” which in re-recorded version was also on Out of the Cellar. 6 songs is a good length, too much Ratt can sound like razorblades coming at your ears, some times! This self-titled debut keeps things brief, each of its songs more or less delivering the goods.
The opener “Sweet Cheater” and “U Got It” are the faster side of Ratt. I love Bobby “Da Blotz” Blotzer’s simple but gleeful drum intro. (Can’t believe this guy was in Tateryche.) Both songs have decent riffs, once again keeping things simple. Pearcy’s trademark vocal snark is in fine form. Ratt are not a great rock n’ roll band, but they certainly satisfy my cravings when I need some spandex-wrapped non-wimpy LA hard rock. No ballads. They had their own sound, largely due to Pearcy’s one-of-a-kind voice.
The closest thing to a ballad would be “Back For More”, which is to say, it has some acoustic guitars before Pearcy yelps, “You turn him away, you tell him you’re mine, You make him believe you’re but one of a kind.” Meaningless but cocky. Which maybe sums up the whole Ratt experience. This is an early version of the hit song from Out of the Cellar, a bit longer, needing some of the fat trimmed.
“Walkin’ the Dog” is a Rufus Thomas cover via Aerosmith. Aerosmith were in no danger of being dethroned by Ratt’s version, but it’s fun. It suits their sound, it’s heavy, they throw their own attitude into it, and I’m sure there were youngsters of the 1980’s who assumed it was their own original tune. The guitar solo is great.
The best song is the single “You Think You’re Tough”. If Ratt has two sides (fast, and mid-tempo) then this is the mid-tempo side. The riff is one of their best, the chorus and bridges are great, and the video had both Ozzy and Motley Crue in it. Cool.
That’s Tawny Kitaen on the cover. Pre-Coverdale. She was dating Robbin Crosby at the time!
AC/DC – Live at River Plate (2012 Sony Music Germany edition with three bonus tracks)
Time moves agonizingly slow in AC/DC Land. Witness the nine years between Stiff Upper Lip and the band’s latest studio album Black Ice. Even more astonishing is the fact that Live at River Plate is AC/DC’s first live album in 20 years! Granted, only three studio albums came between AC/DC Live and this record. Still, most bands of AC/DC’s ilk tend to release live albums as if it’s an annual occasion.
I’ll give AC/DC credit for something: value. Of Live at River Plate‘s 22 tracks, only 12 were on the last live album. Live at River Plate is a lot more Bon-heavy. It also draws several tracks from Black Ice itself, which is nice, but you get the feeling that these were the “let’s go take a piss” songs in concert.
“We don’t speak very good Spanish,” says Brian, “but we speak Rock and Roll pretty good! Let’s go!” Then the band tear into the golden oldie, “Hell Ain’t a Bad Place to Be”, which last time, was relegated to B-side status, on the 1992 live “Highway to Hell” single. Brian Johnson’s voice is noticeably more whispery. This is inevitable, singing this kind of music. Considering this, it’s astonishing to hear Brian as ferocious as ever on “Let There Be Rock”. How the man still has a voice after all these years is a mystery to science.
Hit after hit with new tracks mixed in, AC/DC roll ’em out: “Black in Black”, “Dirty Deeds”, “Thunderstruck”, “Hells Bells”, “The Jack” along with newbies like “Black Ice”. Meanwhile, Angus struts out his unmistakable guitar glee in extended solos and trade-offs with Brian. The most exciting thing about AC/DC on stage remains Angus Young. Even without the visuals of the shorts and the stomping, Angus continues to entrance, just doing what he does and making it all sound easy.
Disc 2 is just as heavy on the hits: “You Shook Me All Night Long”, “Rosie”, “T.N.T.”, “Highway”, “For Those About to Rock”. “War Machine” from Black Ice gives the audience a chance to get a beer, even though it’s as menacingly good as classics like “The Razors Edge”.
One thing that hasn’t been highly publicized is that the German edition of this album includes three bonus tracks. These bonus tracks are real treats, of the underplayed AC/DC variety! All three are taken from the Live at Circus Krone DVD, which was only available with the massive AC/DC Backtracks box set. Sweet.
Everybody loves “Rock ‘N’ Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution”, and it’s still as entertaining as ever, if a little less energetic. “If You Want Blood” is another favourite, from the Bon era. Bon used to sing this one at maximum lung power, but Bon was a 33 year old man. Brian was 55 when he sang this. I’m glad for its inclusion, as it’s still a high voltage head banger. But the real treat is “What’s Next to the Moon”, an oldie from Powerage that isn’t on any AC/DC live album except this German edition. And it prowls like a wolf, with teeth.
Live at River Plate was released in three colours (red, yellow, blue) in North America, but I don’t know about this German edition. The only pictures I’ve seen of it were red, like mine.
The single from this album was the Record Store Day 2011 exclusive “Shoot to Thrill” / “War Machine”. I don’t have anything in particular to say about the single, except it sure took them long enough to put out a full live album!
My first AC/DC album was Dirty Deeds Done Dirty Cheap. I grew up listening to Bon, and Stiff Upper Lip is the most rock n’ roll sounding AC/DC album since his death. It seems they dropped some (but certainly not all) of the heavy riffing, leaving room for Malcolm and Angus to weave together some tasty guitar lines into song. Phil Rudd’s simple metronomic rhythms are perfectly suited to this approach.
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