RECORD STORE TALES Part 171: Record Store Gallery
Douchebag
Record Store Tales
Part 170: Jonathan
RECORD STORE TALES Part 170: Jonathan
I’ve worked with a lot of accountants over the years. I like accountants. I seem to get along with accountants, don’t know why. The coolest accountant I ever worked with was Jonathan. I like to describe Jonathan’s appearance as being a dead ringer for the actor Romany Malco:
Jonathan always made me laugh. Check out this journal entry:
Date: 2004/06/17
14:09
It was really amusing walking into the office today, and seeing Jonathan singing “Lick It Up” by Kiss.
Very un-accountant like behaviour!
Jonathan was good people. He took a pay cut to work with us, because he wanted to do something he was passionate about. He taught all us knuckle-draggers on the store floors about cash flow vs. profit. He helped us out a lot on the financial side, and he was smart. Plus he loved music.
One time when my mom came into the store to visit, I introduced her to Jon. He said to my mom, “You brought up a good son, Mrs. Ladano.”
I used to drive Jonathan home from work once or twice a week, and it was always good to talk to him. He used to give me advice every time. He encouraged me to better myself. He used to call me “Lifer”. He said, “You’re never going to get out of here. You’re going to work here forever.” But he did it to rile me up, to get me looking for work elsewhere, because he knew the CD store was a dead end for me. He had respect for me, when he called me “Lifer” he meant it to motivate me.
I’d talk to him about girls I liked. There was this girl that worked at the Money Mart next door, but I was too shy to walk in and talk to her. So Jonathan did it for me! Witness these journal entries:
Date: 2004/05/21, 10:08
The one girl at the Money Mart next door is really cute, and I see her out there all the time having a smoke. When Jonathan goes out to have a smoke, he talks to her, give her a light, whatever. I mentioned to Jonathan that I thought the one girl was real cute yesterday. Then today, I TOTALLY got busted staring at her through the window! THEN Jonathan went out to chat it up with her, right after I got busted, to tell her all about me, ask her if she wants to go out on a date with me…Jesus Christ!
Date: 2004/05/22, 09:52
- Cheap Trick – Authorized Greatest Hits
- Alice In Chains – Jar of Flies
- KISS tribute – Kiss My Ass
- The Goo Goo Dolls – Gutterflower
- Rush – Vapor Trails
Nice thing about working the day alone with no bosses around is that you can listen to whatever the hell you want!
I don’t think Money Mart Girl, who I learned from Jonathan is named Jessica, is working today. So I couldn’t say hi to her even if I worked up the guts!
In the end, Jonathan had to split. He had three kids and being an accountant for a CD store wasn’t going to cut it anymore. He took an offer he could not refuse, and bid us farewell.
I’ll always remember good times working with Jonathan, a true character, and the guy who got me thinking about my future.
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Part 169: Open Door Piss
RECORD STORE TALES Part 169: Open Door Piss
I used to work with this guy, Joe. People who know where I worked, they know Joe. And they know Joe is a very, shall we say, unique person. Funny as hell, but there is nobody like Joe. Straight from my journal, here’s the proof. I call this one the Open Door Piss.
Date: 2005/11/26 23:52
So I’m with Joe at work, talking about work or something. The conversation is as follows:
Me – (babbles on about work or something)
Joe – Hey, keep talking, follow me though.
Me – Where are we going?
Joe – Just follow me.
Me – OK, ummm, into the bathroom?
Joe – No, just stand outside, keep talking though.
(I hear him upzip his pants)
Me – Are you peeing?
Joe – Yeah man! It’s the open door piss! So what was I saying before? Oh yeah…(continues conversation).
Joe’s a pretty interesting guy.
A couple years later, I was having a Rock Band party at my house, during which Uncle Meat also did the Open Door Piss. Must be a Record Store Guy thing?
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Part 168: The Constipated Ritchie Blackmore
RECORD STORE TALES Part 168: The Constipated Ritchie Blackmore
The date: Before Christmas 2005 (my final Christmas at the store)
The place: My store
The characters: Myself, and “Box Set Man”
I had this one great customer, and dammit, I cannot remember his name. We called him “Box Set Man” because he bought and sold a lot of box sets. In fact, I have a Japanese Deep Purple Purple Chronicle 25th anniversary box set from his collection, complete with obi strip.
Box Set Man also collected rock photographs, original photographs from private collections, unpublished anywhere. He bought them at record shows, by networking (he was once a concert promoter) and from eBay. He would trade photos in his collection for more desirable ones as well.
Just before Christmas 2005, Box Set Man came in with a gift for me. He handed me a plain yellow envelope. Inscribed on the envelope was this:
Merry Xmas Mike
This photo is from a private collection from Germany “Blackmore”.
Inside the envelope was an original Ritchie Blackmore photo.
Ritchie is obviously digging deep into a guitar solo in this photo. Stratocaster raised, eyes closed, Ritchie is givin’ it all he’s got. But the overall effect is one of Ritchie looking like he has to go to the bathroom.
Christmas 2005 was my final Christmas at the store, but Box Set Man didn’t know that. I don’t remember why, but head office had asked me to keep my departure under wraps. The announcement wasn’t made until my final day at the store (Jan 4, 2006) and as it turns out, that was the day I told Box Set Man as well.
So, without further delay, I present to you this original photograph that I have dubbed “The Constipated Ritchie Blackmore”!
NOTE: After posting this, my former co-worker Pat reminded me that Box Set Man’s name was Dan!
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Part 167: Top Five Discs that Got Us in Shit at the The Beat Goes On
RECORD STORE TALES Part 167:
Top Five Discs that Got Us in Shit at the The Beat Goes On
featuring Uncle Meat
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Part 166/REVIEW: Anthrax – “Cowboy Song” (promo single)
RECORD STORE TALES Part 166: Anthrax – “Cowboy Song”
Stuff like this didn’t happen often, but it did happen. Sometimes one of my customers would just give me a CD that they thought I would want. Unfortunately my journal didn’t record who gave these discs to me!
Date: 2005/11/26 13:14
WICKED! Someone today gave me a free copy of the “Cowboy Song” single by Anthrax, a rare Thin Lizzy cover. Also got Doin’ The Nasty by Slik Toxik for free. SCORE.
Statham did on occasion give me free discs. I recall once he gave me a Black Crowes single. Another one of my customers (name long forgotten) gave me a Jimi Hendrix hardcover book. But this was not a frequent occurrence. Unfortunately, most people treated the guy behind the counter at the record store like shit. I guess that’s part and parcel of working in a buy-and-sell environment. Stuff like this helped make the job tolerable.
This single was a Sam the Record Man exclusive. It came free with copies of Sound of White Noise purchased there, but for a limited time only. I don’t know how rare it is today, but it certainly is a collectible, being a store exclusive.
I wish I could remember who gave me this cool Anthrax single. It could have been somebody I knew that worked at Sam’s (that narrows it down to 3 or 4 people) or somebody I knew that worked for Warner (narrows it down to 2). Either way, I thank you.
Onto the review!
ANTHRAX – “Cowboy Song” (1993 Warner Music Canada promo)
This promo single comes with no case or cover, but does have some liner notes printed on the CD itself. It was produced by Dave Jerden and Anthrax, and all guitars were performed by Scott Ian. Presumably, that means Dan Spitz doesn’t appear on the song.
This was recorded as a bonus track for the Japanese edition of Sound of White Noise, and can be currently found on the remastered edition of the same album. This is an awesome cover, very authentic to the live version that Thin Lizzy used to do, made famous on the Live and Dangerous album. The lead vocals are, of course, by John Bush. John Bush doesn’t attempt to do a Phil Lynott impression (thankfully, that wouldn’t be wise) but does deliver the vocal with his trademark grit.
Scott Ian nails all the guitar parts perfectly. You’d swear there were two guys playing. It comes as no surprise that Charlie Benate’s drum parts are also perfect. I think Brian Downey was and is one of the most underrated drummers in rock, and Benate does him justice.
I love this cover. Anthrax are well known for choosing and performing great covers. Add this one to the list.
4/5 stars
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Part 165: Cassette Case Man
RECORD STORE TALES Part 165: Cassette Case Man
The setting: my store
The year: 1997
The characters: me and a scary dude
Remember tape cases? Some looked like briefcases. You could store anywhere from 24 to 60 tapes in one case, which snapped shut with a clasp. Others were double sided, made of nylon, zipped shut, and could hold 120 cassette tapes. At my peak, I owned about 10 cases altogether, different sizes, to hold my cassette collection.
We had phased out tapes completely by 1996. It was a dead format. CD had taken over completely, and our stores were some of the first in the area to go 100% CD. You could still buy tapes downtown at Encore Records, and I occasionally still did. I remember buying Fireball, by Deep Purple, on tape there in 1996, because finding a CD in town was impossible.
One afternoon in ’97, when I was working alone, a big dude walked into the store. Outside of a Tarantino movie, I’d never heard so many “F-bombs” dropped in one conversation. Luckily I was journaling back then and recorded the conversation for posterity.
Big guy: “Hey, where are your cassette boxes?”
Me: “You mean like tape cases, for carrying your tapes around with you?”
Big guy: “Yeah, them fuckin’ things.”
Me: “Uhh…we don’t carry those anymore. We phased out tapes a while ago.”
Big guy: “Fuck. You fuckin’ sure you got nothin’?”
Me: “Yeah, pretty sure. We don’t carry tapes, so we don’t carry tape accessories either.”
Big guy: “Why the fuck don’t you carry tapes? What are people supposed to do who listen to fuckin’ tapes?”
Me: “Well, you could try the mall. I think some of those stores carry tapes. They probably have cases too.”
Big guy: “Think so?”
Me: “It’s worth a try?”
Big guy: “Fuck. I’ll just make one.”
Me: “OK.”
Big guy: “Yeah. Fuck. I’ll just buy some fuckin’ wood. Cut ‘er up nice and build a fuckin’ box for my tapes. Just get some fuckin’ wood, fuckin’ slap ‘er together, and make a fuckin’ tape box of my own. Yeah. That’s what I’ll do.”
Me: “…That sounds like a good idea.”
Big guy: “Fuck, it’ll be easy, I’ll just buy some fuckin’ wood.”
And I never saw him again. True fuckin’ story!
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Part 164: “You scratch my back…”
RECORD STORE TALES Part 164: “You scratch my back…”
In the past, (Part 120, in fact) I talked about how T-Rev would keep his eyes peeled for discs that he knew I wanted. It worked out to be a mutually advantageous arrangement; a large chunk of my collection came to me simply because T-Rev knew I wanted something. I’m sure the reverse was also true. But this referred just to discs that showed up in our respective stores.
I had a different arrangement with “QUO”, who worked with me at my own store. In this case, we’d actually buy each other stuff while we were out on our own record shopping excursions. I found the following entries in my journal, illustrating exactly the kind of “you scratch my back…” arrangements that we had. It was pretty awesome.
Date: 2005/10/25
16:26
Today I picked up a Bright Eyes 45, an Arcade Fire 45 for QUO, and the new Motley DVD since I didn’t see the tour. I hope the documentary footage kicks ass! The last Motley DVD (given to me by an ex) really sucked. Maybe Vince actually sings on this one instead of letting the fans do it all!
I actually picked up the Bright Eyes 7″ for QUO as well, but he already had it, so I just kept it for myself. I don’t know which Arcade Fire I bought for him (it was probably “Rebellion”), but the Bright Eyes was “Gold Mine Gutted”. (The Motley DVD I am referring to was Carnival of Sins.)
This was in return of a favour QUO did for me, one week prior!
Date: 2005/10/18
10:00
QUO picked up three CDs for me in Toronto last night:
1. Bon Jovi “Have A Nice Day” single (has two live tracks first released on the box set, but in studio versions).
2. Bruce Dickinson Tyranny Of Souls Japanese import with bonus track.
3. Iron Maiden “The Trooper” CD single.
I remember giving QUO a wishlist. This was back when HMV Toronto still carried Japanese imports (which they no longer do, see rant here). I remember putting Avril Lavigne CD singles on that wishlist too!
This is what obsessive Record Store Guys do. We help each other out. It’s in our blood, the blood of the collector!
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Part 163: Hockey
Hockey season has begun! Enjoy this Record Store Tale….
RECORD STORE TALES Part 163: Hockey
The date: May 14, 2004
The location: My store
The characters: Store employee Matt, and a really dumb kid who claimed to be 20 years old, selling used discs.
The NHL playoffs were in full swing. Oftentimes, when you’re selling used CDs, it takes time to go through them all and assign values to them. Customers like to make small talk during this time. In Canada, small talk often amounts to hockey talk. According to my journal, the conversation unfolded as below.
Dumb Kid Who Says He’s 20: “Who are you cheering for in hockey?”
Matt: “Calgary.”
DKWSH20: “Calgary? What for, why aren’t you cheering for someone Canadian?”
Matt: “Calgary IS in Canada.”
DKWSH20: “It is?”
Matt: “Yes.”
DKWSH20: “Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve looked at a map.”
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Part 162: “Is it out in Toronto?”
RECORD STORE TALES Part 162: “Is it out in Toronto?”
I guess this is one of those weird urban myths. Growing up in Kitchener in the 1980’s, some people used to think we got new releases later than big urban areas like Toronto. I can distinctly remember childhood friends of mine having this discussion with me. Just swap out the names of the bands depending on the person.
Me: “I saw the new Judas Priest video today. It was awesome. I can’t wait for the album.”
Friend: “It’s not out yet?”
Me: “No, I asked at A&A Records and it’s out in about a month.”
Friend: “Yeah, but that’s here. I bet it’s already out in Toronto. Toronto gets everything first.”
I thought maybe that was just an isolated myth, relegated to our group of friends in the Stanley Park part of town. We didn’t have much in the way of record stores within walking distance. There was a Zellers (no longer there, now a Walmart), and later on the aforementioned A&A Records and Tapes. When all we had was Zellers, you could imagine they might not order the new Judas Priest on the day of release. It wasn’t their thing.
When I was working at the record store many years later, I discovered this urban myth did indeed perpetuate among different groups all over town! I had heard more than once, “It’s gotta be out in Toronto, right?”
For example, in May 1996, I did have this exact conversation:
Customer: “Do you have the new Tragically Hip?”
Me: “No, it comes out on Tuesday though. Do you want me to reserve you a copy?”
Customer: “Tuesday? That’s just here though, right? Toronto would already have it, right? I’m going to try in Toronto on Saturday.”
No! Why would Toronto already have it? This wasn’t the 1800’s, delivering parcels on horseback! I don’t get where that idea started, but it did exist, and let this article be a remembrance of an earlier age of CD ignorance!
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