RSTs Mk II: Getting More Tale

#586: Adventures with Aaron (Three Different Ones)

GETTING MORE TALE #586: Adventures with Aaron (Three Different Ones)

 

When my buddy Aaron started his own site telling his own life story, it brought back a flood of memories for me too. We met in 1994 and had quite a few adventures of our own. Many of these tales are lost to the sands of time…but a few have come back.

I’ll start by saying that it was the beginning of a weird time. Both of us had started exploring the online world of computer BBSing (bulletin board systems). We made some lasting friends, but there were a few unsavory characters too. Remember Silent Knight? He (and his wall ‘o porn) was just one of the misfits I encountered.

There was Doug, the home-schooled Jehova’s Witness who planned to get rich from BBS subscriptions in 1994. Judging by his appearance, Aaron and I theorized that his white legs had never seen direct sunlight.

I’m not likely to forget Gray, an older guy who thought he was psychic. When I briefly dated and broke up with Aaron’s sister, Gray predicted using his “psychic powers” that the split was only temporary. That messed me up for months.

Fast Freddy was another, a guy I befriended when I was single and we both had something to moan about. When I got a new girlfriend I no longer had something to bitch about and had an acrimonious parting of ways with Freddy.

Aaron and I had a lot in common, such as music, action figures and movies. This led to a genuine friendship which in turn provided some adventuring. The first time we hung out as friends and not just with his sister was a “taping session”. We taped CDs off each other. Then we walked up to the library to photocopy covers. I showed Aaron how to make a tape cover with a photocopy. That’s how I got my first copy of Soundgarden’s Superunknown – taped it off Aaron. Another one was Duff McKagan’s Believe in Me album.

Aside from the usual stuff, like looking for CDs and movies, I’d like to share three stories involving Aaron:

1. The Monkey Boy Incident

One evening in September of 1994, Aaron his sister and I decided to get some fries at McDonalds. They have the best fries, don’t they? His sister decided it would be fun to throw pennies out the car window at street signs…and other cars.

One guy didn’t like that very much and gave chase. I didn’t know where I was going and got cornered. As Aaron and I cowered in the car waiting for an ass whoopin’, his sister got out of the car and confronted the other driver, who she dubbed “Monkey Boy” for the purpose of storytelling.

“Why the fuck are you following us?”

“You threw shit at my car!”

I’m not sure how but she managed to defuse the situation as the two of us sat in the car being scared! What brave guys we were.

2. The Mud Bath

The following spring, Aaron and I were out again, with a couple friends named Nick and Denise. I had the hots for Denise. Unfortunately what I did not have was any clue how to flirt or even ask a girl out properly. It was raining like mad outside, and we stopped in Waterloo Park during the storm. Aaron and Nick dared me $2 to run around in the torrential downpour for a minute. I thought to myself, “Hey, what a great way to impress Denise! She’ll think I’m fun and cool!” Because I’m smart like that.

I leapt out of the car into the storm, ran around in front for a bit, and then promptly slipped right in the mud. They wouldn’t let me back into the car until my time was up and I earned my $2.

I’m not saying that running around in the mud had anything to do with it, but I did succeed in dating Denise for a little while. I think it totally had to do with me falling in the mud.

3. The Ronald McDonald Invasion

Aaron had a fear of clowns. At the same time, he had very curly hair which, for a while, was dyed red. What attracts clowns more than curly red hair? A guy with curly red hair who also had a fear of clowns!

As if Aaron wasn’t having it rough enough, this time he was the one doing $2 bets. A night out again with Nick ended at a McDonalds where Aaron had an ice cream. We then dumped salt, pepper, ketchup and vinegar into the melted remains of his ice cream, and paid him $2 to finish it. Which he did! But that is where his triumph ended.

Wouldn’t you know it? A Ronald McDonald was there that night. You don’t see it very often, but sometimes McDonalds would have a Ronald clown there to entertain kids. Aaron’s red curly head attracted Ronald like bees to honey. And of course Aaron was terrified as Nick and I giggled. Aaron earned his $2 that night, and then some!

As Aaron continues forward with his story I am sure it will trigger many more on my part. Stay tuned.

 

CODA:  Integrity Mix 1995

A few years ago, I compiled an “integrity mix” CD of a lot of the tunes I was listening to during that period.  I distinctly remember getting most of these songs in 1994 and 1995.  Varga was a Christmas 1994 gift.  Kiss came from an LP that I had special ordered in at the Record Store.   Yes, vinyl in 1995.  Two copies — one to play, one to keep sealed.  Slash’s Snakepit came out that year and Aaron was really into Slash and Guns.  That Soundgarden track came from a CD single that Aaron had and I taped.  Rush came from my very first Rush studio album.  2112 was a birthday gift, and I’m quite proud of putting all of side one on this CD!

#585: Days Full of Music

Getting More Tale #585: Days Full of Music

I might not rock and roll all night, or party every day.  I do, however, sleep well at night because I rock and roll most of the day.

I play music every day.  I have played music every day with only a few exceptions for the last 30+ years.  A grade 8 weeklong Catholic school retreat at Mt. Mary meant a week of no music, so I listened to as much Kiss as I could beforehand.  I hoped to have the tunes in my head all week.  Unfortunately that’s not a substitute for the real thing, but I did survive Mt. Mary.

I have always said that listening to the radio at work is a much better fate than listening to whatever was popular at the Record Store in the later days.  Better for me, anyway, rather than being force-fed Franz Ferdinand, Alicia Keys, or Big Shiny Tunes all day.  I’d much rather check out what’s on the local rock airwaves.  The higher-ups at the Record Store didn’t like my kind of music much, so when they were around I stuck to the stuff they wanted played.  I didn’t want to get in shit for playing Kiss in store anymore.

Below you’ll find what a typical happy day at work sounds like today.  I used July 5 2017 as a sample date.  There are a few readers here who listen to the same radio station I do (107.5 Dave Rocks where I have done guest shots in the past) so some will know these songs well.  Then there are others who loathe the radio (which is fine) and they can skip this one.

I started my daily commute that day with the second disc of Rush’s 2112, the 40th anniversary edition.  The drive to work consisted of the cover tunes by Foo Fighters, Billy Talent, Steven Wilson, Jacob Moon and Alice in Chains.  On this trip I was struck by how little like Alice in Chains they sounded.   I was also very impressed (as usual) with Jacob Moon.  I’m almost embarrassed to add that Billy Talent is gradually growing on me, and this Rush cover doesn’t hurt their case.

When I got into the office I turned on the radio to hear One Bad Son.  They are a new hard rock band from Saskatoon, but they sound international.  A band to keep an ear to the ground for.  The day went on as you see it below.  I have marked all Canadian Content songs with a red CC, since radio stations in Canada must play certain percentages of CanCon.

Here was my music for the day of July 5:

Car:  Rush – 2112 40th anniversary edition (first half of disc 2)

1. One Bad Son – “Raging Bull” – Great rock reminiscent of Skid Row! CC
2. Spacehog – “In the Meantime”
3. Alice in Chains – “Check My Brain” –Killer track, it’s been a while.
4. April Wine – “Weeping Widow” – I’ve never heard this smoking track before. CC
5. Motley Crue – “Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)”
6. Age of Electric – “Ugly” – Vintage Canadian alternarock! CC

7. The Cars – “Just What I Needed” – I will never get tired of this.
8. The Struts – “Kiss This” – I  absolutely hate this song.
9. The Tragically Hip – “Fully Completely” CC
10. Bon Jovi – “Born to Be My Baby” – Old classic back in circulation.
11. Soundgarden – “Rusty Cage”
12. U2 – “Beautiful Day”
13. The Guess Who – “American Woman” CC
14. Bryan Adams – “Kids Wanna Rock” CC
15. Foo Fighters – “All My Life”
16. Bachman-Turner Overdrive – “Hold Back the Water” CC
17. Papa Roach – “Help”
18. J. Geils Band – “Love Stinks”
19. The Trews – “So She’s Leaving” CC
20. Aerosmith – “Back in the Saddle” – I did air guitar in my office for this song.
21. Metallica – “Until it Sleeps”
22. Harlequin  – “Thinking of You”— A great old tune that deserves your attention. CC

23. Monster Truck – “The Enforcer” CC
24. The Kinks – “You Really Got Me”
25. Sublime – “Santeria”
26. The Killjoys – “Today I Hate Everyone” CC
27. Led Zeppelin – “Night Flight” – Points for a more obscure song!
28. Pop Evil – “Footsteps” – Sorry Pop Evil fans. I can’t get into this band at all.
29. The Cult – “Wildflower”
30. The Wild! – “Living Free” – Tyler Generoux is into these guys. CC
31. Kaleo – “Glass House”
32. Moist – “Resurrection” CC
33. Guns N’ Roses – “You Could Be Mine”
34. Rush – “The Big Money” CC
35. The Rolling Stones – “Rocks Off”
36. Soundgarden – “Burden In My Hand”
37. The Who – “I’m Free”
38. Blink 182 – “Bored to Death – I’ve really been enjoying their new songs with Matt Skiba.
39. Nirvana – “Breed”
40. Neil Young – “When You Dance You Can Really Love” CC
41. Sloan – “She Says What She Means” CC
42. Our Lady Peace – “Supersatellite” CC
43. AC/DC – “Rock N’ Roll Train” – It’s nice to hear “newer” Black Ice material.

44. Led Zeppelin – “Four Sticks” – The second Zep of the shift.
45. Stone Sour – “Bother”
46. Scorpions – “The Zoo”
47. Jimi Hendrix – “Fire”
48. Metallica – “The Unforgiven”
49. ZZ Top – “Sharp Dressed Man”
50. Nickelback – “Feed the Machine” – First and thankfully only Nickelback of the shift. CC
51. Max Webster – “Paradise Skies” CC
52. Sam Roberts Band – “If You Want It” CC
53. Foo Fighters – “D.O.A.” – Second Foo Fighters of the shift.
54. Van Halen – “Hot For Teacher”
55. Hole – “Awful” – Ironically not awful!
56. Rush – The Analog Kid”  – Second Rush of the shift. CC
57. The Guess Who – “Bus Rider” – Second Guess Who of the shift. CC
58. 311 – “Down” – I hated them then, and I hate them now.
59. The Glorious Sons – “Mama” CC

60. Big Sugar – “Dear Mr. Fantasy” CC
61. Led Zeppelin – “Rock and Roll” – Third Zep for the shift and the most typical.
62. The Offspring – “Gone Away” – A band I never ever liked.
63. Def Leppard – “Hysteria” – Their greatest ballad ever.
64. Bon Jovi – “Lay Your Hands On Me” – Second Jovi of the shift and second from New Jersey.
65. The Trews – “Lotta Work Little Love” – Second Trews of the shift. CC
66. Soundgarden – “Blow Up the Outside World” – Second Soundgarden and second from Down on the Upside.
67. Triumph – “Lay It On the Line” (remixed) CC
68. The Rolling Stones – “Gimme Shelter” – Second and best Stones of the shift.
69. Green Day – “Revolution Radio”
70. The Clash – “Rock the Casbah” – Booooring.
71. The Standstills – “Orleans” – Great Canadian blues rock duo.  Check them out.  CC

72. Van Halen – “Unchained” – Second Van Halen of the shift.  It’s the Craig Fee Show!
73. AC/DC – “Who Made Who” – Second AC/DC of the shift.
74. Bryan Adams – “Summer of ‘69” – Second Bryan of the shift. CC
75. Big Wreck – “You Don’t Even Know” CC
76. Foreigner – “Hot Blooded”

And that was it.  That’s 7:30 to 4:30 right there, not a bad shift to work.  I went home resuming the Rush, and that got me to the door.

Car:  Rush – 2112 40th anniversary edition (live songs from disc 2)

How do you like that day?  There were very few stinkers in that list of songs.  I could leave behind the Nickelback, the “Rock the Casbah”, and the Struts among others.  Those tracks aside, this was a very solid day of great rock and roll, new and old.  No repeat.  Only a few bands had more than one song played.  A good number of songs were off the beaten track.  Pretty good for a full day at the office, right?  I count my blessings every day, believe me!  I am very grateful I get to listen to such great music at work.

I’m the office Milton. I even have the red stapler.

#584: Fake News

GETTING MORE TALE #584: Fake News

Fake news is not recent.  Fake news has been around as long as there were people!  Here is a list of fake news stories from the Record Store days.

In the mid 90s, many people actually believed that Marilyn Manson had his bottom ribs removed so he could bend over and blow himself.

From the same time period, word had spread that all five Backstreet Boys released solo albums on the same day, and that “Walmart has them.”

Bafflingly, and for many many years, people believed that Toronto got album releases before anywhere else in Canada.  As if albums were delivered by the Pony Express.

Levels of hoaxes so complex it’ll make your head spin.   SuperShadow was a supposed Star Wars inside informant who leaked prequel plots and characters.  He was a notoriously hated spreader of fake Star Wars news, but the layers of intrigue here go down to all the way to…me…who posed on MySpace as a “fake” SuperShadow, in hopes of smoking out the real one.  Fake news of fake news!

In an interview with Slash published in the March/April 1994 issue of M.E.A.T Magazine, the guitarist claimed the next Guns N’ Roses album would be out the following summer of 1995.  Heh.  Won’t get fooled again?

There are of course many “fake news” stories through the history of rock and roll.  “Paul is dead.”  “2 Pac is alive.”  “There are two Nikki Sixx’s.”  “Joey Tempest is a demon.”  What are your favourites?

#583: Rock and Roll Shooz

GETTING MORE TALE #583: Rock and Roll Shooz

How rock and roll are shoes?  Not very.  But certainly some rock bands have had some exceptional footwear over the years.  The wild, multi coloured cowboy boots of Poison, Cinderella, Bon Jovi, and the gang…remember those?

In a world where image matters, you needed a cool pair of shoes to complete the look.  Glam rock bands went with cowboy boots, while thrashers and punks tended to go for skate shoes.  But who has the best shoes in rock?

  1. Robert Plant

Robert Plant?  For reals?  Yes, for reals!  Robert is about the only rock star to make sandals cool.  Sandals are about as un-rock as shoes can get.  But if you’re Robert Plant, it matters not.  A bare-chested long-haired blonde blues screamer in sandals is still rock and roll.  The sheer un-rock-ness of sandals combined with Robert Plant makes them infinitely rock and roll.

  1. Lady Gaga

You might not consider her very rock, but she did perform with Metallica.  Her outrageous footwear hasn’t caused her any broken ankles…yet.  Hiking in high heels?  Why not.  She’s done that.  In a Gaga world, anything goes.

 

 

  1. Elton John

Before there was Kiss, there was Elton John.  People remember the outfits, wigs and glasses, but don’t forget the silver platform kicks!

 

 

2. Chris Cornell

In honour of former customer Nancy who was obsessed with Cornell and his boots.  RIP Chris!

 

 

 

1. Gene Simmons

Dragon boots.  Enough said!

 

 

 

I had my own pair of goth platform boots in the Record Store days.  I remember I had them delivered right to the store, because I was never home to receive packages.  When they arrived one of the bosses asked “Where do you think you’re going to wear those?!”  Fuck you, that’s where!  The boots were the centerpiece of my Paul Stanley costume.

At work, running shoes were the most comfortable.  We were not allowed to sit, so you had to stand for your whole seven hour shift.  The first time, it takes a little getting used to.  After that you’re golden, but comfy kicks are the key.  Lady Gaga could not work a shift at the Record Store.

When I was hit with a 12 hour shift, which was more frequent than you might imagine, I discovered that changing your shoes halfway through the shift helped.  I’d bring a spare pair with me and change at the middle point of the day.  It helped with the pain and felt like a fresh burst of energy.

Today I have a pair of heavy steel-toed boots at work and they’re great for the leg muscles.  They are nice heavy shoes.  Walk around in those all day and you will build some pretty awesome leg muscles.  Not very rock and roll, but definitely heavy metal.

#582: Erasure

GETTING MORE TALE #582: Erasure

Fixing CDs is a delicate business. You need a steady hand, the right tools, and patience. A buffing wheel with the right textured attachment works, and you also need an abrasive to gradually smooth out the scratched plastic of a disc. We used to use a special wax but found that regular hand soap and water worked better.  That’s all the abrasive you need.

In short: Yes! You can fix some scratched CDs. There are two factors that might make a CD impossible to fix, however: deep scratches, and top scratches. A deep scratch that you can feel with your fingernail probably won’t be fixed. It’s just too deep. A top scratch happens on the top layer of the CD and goes into the aluminum, destroying the data encoded in it.  Pinholes weren’t usually a problem.

The best way to fix a surface scratched CD

I spent a lot of time talking to the guys we contracted out to fix our CDs. We used one Toronto-based company for a few years, until one of our guys cracked the secret of fixing discs. Once he had a method, he went into business fixing discs himself. This gentleman (now actually a Sausagefest attendee himself) shared a lot of interesting info about fixing discs.

One thing I learned was that if you had a bunch of scratches close to the outer edge of the disc, and you went too deep trying to buff them out, you could lose the ability to play the last songs on the CD. The information would still be on the disc in the aluminum layer, but your laser can’t read it due to the excessive buffing of the plastic. The plastic layer would be no longer perfectly flat, and your laser won’t read through it.  When playing, it sounds like the music fades into static and then disappears. The end effect is that it sounds like the last few tracks have been erased. This happened rarely, but it could and did happen.

Customers could come to us to have their CDs fixed. We charged them a fee and their CD would be back in a week or two. One of my regulars named “Kitchener Rangers Al” had one of his discs fixed. Unfortunately it was buffed too deeply on the edge and he couldn’t play the last tracks. It didn’t skip anymore, but you couldn’t play it to the end either.

I remember when Al came in with his CD after it was buffed. He was helped by the supervisor that I refer to as the “Bully”. Other people used other words that are not as nice, but she could be very difficult to deal with. That went for staff and customers both. Unfortunately Al was treated like a liar when he came back with his CD.

“Bully” heard his story: He brought the CD in to be fixed, it no longer skips, but it also now won’t play to the end. He said “I think the last songs were erased.  That’s what it sounds like.”

The “Bully” dismissed Al’s complaint. “It’s impossible to erase a CD,” she said. I heard all this and kept my mouth shut. I learned from experience that correcting her, especially in front of other people, was as dumb as kicking one’s own ass. I didn’t feel like dying that day. She sent Al home with his useless CD that he paid to fix, that we failed to fix. She didn’t even listen to it to test it. She just insisted, mockingly, that he was wrong and sent him away. Quite frankly, she treated the customer like he was either an idiot or a liar trying to scam us, and he didn’t deserve that. I thought to myself, “If she caught me talking to a customer that way, she’d really let me have it.”

I chose to stay out of it, because I learned from the past. This “Bully” was a vindictive bully and it would have been a no-win situation with her again. I didn’t want to spend another three weeks of her abuse, as was par for the course when she exploded on me.  Roughly three weeks.  I just minded my own business, even though I absolutely knew 110% that she was wrong.

Al wasn’t stupid, and he came back when “Bully” wasn’t in. Al had dealt with her before. He told me the story directly, and I explained to him how the end of a CD can come to be “erased” due to buffing. I refunded him the fixing fee, and he was happy. He said he’d come in and buy another copy if we saw one. Customer retained.

I’ve been criticized by other former employees for not speaking up. That’s fair and all I can say to them is, if you walked in my shoes all those years, let’s see how willing you’d be to jump into the lion’s den. I don’t know what it was about us, but she had an evil place in her soul reserved just for me. Other people had felt her sting before, but nobody I have asked ever experienced the brutal treatment I got. She’d explode on me periodically, year after year after year, right to the end, when I removed myself from the circle permanently.

No thanks to “Bully”, Al got his refund and kept coming back. He had been there since Day One, and I hope he still shops there today. As for me, nobody knows the role I played in keeping that customer. At least they didn’t until now! You can, technically “erase” the songs at the end of a CD, or at least make them unreadable. Not exactly the same as erasing, but the end result is a wrecked disc no matter how you look at it.

#581: Attention Walmart Shoppers

GETTING MORE TALE #581: Attention Walmart Shoppers

On June 10 2017, Mrs. LeBrain was at the Walmart at Fairview Mall looking for Transformers for her husband (me).  She came home with an injury so bad she was immobile for the rest of the night.

She already has mobility issues due to numerous falls and fractures, but June 10 she aggravated her sciatica.  Some idiot was there with two kids, but too busy texting to notice what was about to transpire.  The baby was seated in a shopping cart, and a young boy had control of the cart.  Mother was deep in texting.  You can see it about to happen can’t you?  Kid hits my wife in the leg with the cart, then does it again.

Jen says to the lady, “Would you mind watching your kids?”

The lady responded with the very typical, “Why don’t you mind your own business.”

“It is my business!  Your kid hit me in the leg with your shopping cart, twice!”

There’s a baby in this shopping cart, remember!

The lady then said to the kid, “Stop that.”  She didn’t offer an apology.

When Jen got home that’s when the nerve pain really kicked in.  We managed the pain the best we could through a very sleepless night and went to the doctor (emergency appointment) the following day (a Sunday).  All that because some kid wasn’t being minded by his distracted mother.

People, we’ve bitched about Walmart shoppers here before, but Walmart’s not to blame.  It’s the idiot parents, and this is nothing new.  Back in Record Store Tales Part 29, we recalled the dad who didn’t care about his kid that just demolished the country section.  People, watch your kids.  It’s not hard, and if you do such a poor job that your kids cause injury to someone else, maybe you should have got your shit together before having kids.

#580: Music for Your Mental Health 2 – R.I.P. Chester Bennington

GETTING MORE TALE #580: Music for Your Mental Health 2 – R.I.P. Chester Bennington
A followup to Record Store Tales Part 239: Music for Your Mental Health

 

No preaching, no lectures.  Just personal feelings, regarding another sad rock and roll suicide.

I wasn’t a Linkin Park fan, though I do own the Stone Temple Pilots EP.  That’s all irrelevant.  I’m a human being, and as a human being, I grieve the loss of one of our own.  I don’t know the personal battles that Chester Bennington fought.  Nor do I have to.  It’s none of my business.

Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical body.  You need both your mind and your body to survive.  Injuries and damage to your mental health can be hard to see, even for the one experiencing it.  There are resources out there, and there are people to talk to who can help.  It’s not necessarily easy to access all the help available and you may need help and guidance to navigate the system.  There are other human beings out there who love you.  Who need you.  There are even strangers willing to help.  People who have been through it and understand the pain you may be feeling.

We don’t live in an easy world, or even a friendly one.  It is easy to believe you are alone.  You are not.  You are never alone.  Chester Bennington was not alone, but whatever was killing him inside probably made him feel isolated and helpless.

As we mourn yet another great who went long before his time, please try to focus on your own well being.  There are other ways to deal with the hurt.  Chester Bennington was younger than I am, but he had enough.  Many people out there have had enough and don’t think they can take any more.  We are all human.  We have a tremendous ability to absorb pain but eventually it must be dealt with.  There is no shame in it.  You are not weak.  You are stronger than anyone who hasn’t dealt with what you deal with.  The stigma must end.  People who suffer from depression and other mental illnesses are not different or abnormal.  They are regular human beings just like you.  Maybe even more normal than you know.

Rest in peace Chester.

#579: Entering the Asylum

GETTING MORE TALE #579: Entering the Asylum
(Supplement to the  Re-Review series)

Back in Record Store Tales Part 3 (!), we took a nostalgic look at my first ever Kiss albums, that all arrived in one glorious batch.  The year was 1985, but Kiss also had a new album coming out in a matter of days.  Now that I had started on a Kiss collection, I would have to get their newest album too, called Asylum.  I didn’t even know how to pronounce “asylum” correctly, nor did I know what the word meant, but I did understand that it was their third album without makeup.

Next door neighbor George, who was my introduction to Kiss, came over one day talking about the new single “Tears Are Falling” and how much I would love it.  I didn’t have much money but by the time the snow fell, my dad bought me a copy of Asylum on cassette.  We got it at the Zellers store at Stanley Park Mall in Kitchener.

My meager Kiss collection at that point consisted of Alive!, Asylum (cassette) and a bunch of LPs I recorded off George.  I didn’t know much about the discography but George was a good teacher.  George actually named one of his first bands Asylum.  Before long I could name all the albums, in order.  I even predicted that the next single would be “Uh! All Night”.  I didn’t foresee the third single “Who Wants To Be Lonely” because Kiss hadn’t done a third single in ages!

George was only missing two Kiss albums:  The Elder, and Double Platinum.  He was dying to get both and finish the collection.  His record collection was fascinating to me and a goldmine of music to tape and explore.  The album covers, particularly for Kiss and Iron Maiden, had me hooked.

As my interest in Kiss grew, a new kid at school who I later found out was a “liar liar pants on fire” claimed he had “all” the Kiss albums at home.  His name was Joe Ciaccia (pronounced “chee-chaw”).  I asked him if that meant he had The Elder.  He said yes.  I told George I knew a kid who owned it, and he just about shit his pants.  I made arrangements with Joe to meet up at his place on the next Sunday to do a trade.  All I asked for brokering this trade was recording the album.

George was really excited.  “I don’t care what he wants for it, I’m not leaving without that record.”  I distinctly remember a small group of us trudging through the snow to meet Joe at his apartment.  Who came with us?  I can’t remember.  Joe lived on Breckenridge Drive, just down the street from Brian Vollmer of Helix.  One thing that I can remember very clearly was grabbing my Sanyo ghetto blaster loaded with D-cell batteries, my Asylum tape, and rocking while walking to Joe’s.

Listening to a cassette on a ghetto blaster powered by D-cells was a warbly experience that kids today don’t understand.  Our small group lollygagging through the slush listening to “King of the Mountain” on that old Sanyo is an image I’ll always remember.  I carried it through the wet melting snow.  Those Sanyo ghetto blasters were built like tanks!  You could drop them and they’d keep on ticking.

We arrived at Joe’s apartment and buzzed.  No answer.  Buzzed again.  No answer.  I began to realize my fears.  Joe was all talk and no Elder.  We hung out down there a while but there was no sign of Joe.  George was partly crushed and mostly pissed off.  At school, Joe gradually earned a reputation for tall tales.  His were beginning to rival the lies of Ian Johnson – they even lived on the same street.

We flipped the Asylum tape over and began the walk home.  A wasted trip, and Joe dodged me at school the next day.  George kept pestering me to arrange a second hookup with Joe, thinking he still had that copy of The Elder that he wanted so badly.  I realized Joe was full of shit and told George the sad truth.  The record was not there.  Joe was telling stories, trying to seem cool to me for having all the Kiss albums.  Then he got caught in the lie, after going so far as to arrange a trade and giving me the address.  Very un-cool.

George did get a copy of The Elder a few months later, and he still taped me a copy.  It was a strange album, after being immersed in Asylum for many months.  Then, I definitely preferred Asylum.  Asylum was special to me.  It was my first “new” Kiss album since getting into the band!  I had boarded the Kiss train and I wasn’t getting off!

#578: TFCon 2017

GETTING MORE TALE #578: TFCon 2017

Hold onto your scraplets, I have literally a shat-ton of photos from Toronto TFCon 2017!

I’ve never been to TFCon before.  Buddy Jason has been trying to get me to go for years.  This is the first time the planets aligned and I went with Jay with two goals:

  1. Pick out a gift for myself from my mother-in-law (who is awesome that way).
  2. Pick out something smaller for myself.

Jay picked me up around 7:00 am and we hit the road.  We discussed strategies and vendors and I quickly realized that this was going to be epic.

I’ll let the massive photo gallery here speak for itself.  For official and third party figures, I have never seen anything like it before.

The goodie bag you get for paying your $35 entrance fee was kind of crap.  It had some flavoured water and a Schick razor.  The TFCon bag itself will get more use than the Schick.

One of the coolest figures was the Con exclusive from OcularMax. Diaclone Paris Dakar Rally Terraegis is a mouthful, but it’s the yellow truck in the gallery below. Look at the detailed deco. Those aren’t stickers!

They also had prototypes of forthcoming third party figures.  One of these was the giant FansToys Omega Supreme (mentioned earlier here).  Another was a really sharp looking pair of jets for a new Masterpiece Aerialbots set.

The items I purchased were:

  1. Takara Titans Return Wheelie from the fine folks at TF Source! – $25 Canadian.  A real winner.
  2. Transformers Collectors Club Impactor – $120 Canadian.  Cheapest I’ve seen.
  3. Third party company FansToys Phoenix – an homage to G1 Skyfire in Masterpiece scale.  From The Chosen Prime.

I just found a new annual pilgrimage.  Thanks Jay — can’t wait for next year!

 

#577: Wedding Tunes Tales

GETTING MORE TALE #577: Wedding Tunes Tales

Mrs LeBrain and I have been married nine years.  It is an incredible feeling, to have found the one made for you.  I thank God every day.  We still frequently talk about the wedding day itself, the most amazing day of my life.  The bachelor night before was legendary, but the wedding was perfect.

Well, except a few minor details.

With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, there is one thing that really bugs me today, and that is our wedding CD.  Specifically, one track on that wedding CD.

I personally selected and approved most of the music for the day.  I was very proud to work Frank Zappa into the reception music (“Peaches En Regalia”).  I also had to make sure I had a Kiss song, so I chose “And Then She Kissed Me” from Love Gun.  We focused on Johnny Cash and the Beatles for the ceremony, killing two birds with one stone on “In My Life” for the signing of the registry.  As soon as we started sending out the “thank you” cards to all the guests, I compiled and burned dozens of copies of what you might call The Official Soundtrack Album to Our Wedding.  I squeezed in everything I could, but Jennifer insisted we include one specific song for her maid of honour, Lara.  [Note:  Lara is not evil, but she will be portraying the antagonist in an upcoming store called “Seven”.  Stay tuned.]  I guess when they used to work together in a video store, they would play “My Own Worst Enemy” by Lit a lot.  Some customer gave Lara a CD with that song on it and only that song…on repeat.  I guess this inside joke meant that “My Own Worst Enemy” was Lara’s entrance music at the reception.  And I guess that justified it being on the soundtrack CD.  That is, by far, my biggest wedding regret.  It never should have been on the soundtrack CD.  It’s the only song I absolutely have to skip every time.  It’s shit.  Sorry Lara, but your tribute song sucks!

Jen has her own decision that she would go back and change if she could.  We had the proverbial “bridesmaid from hell”.  Bridesmaidzilla, or ‘Zilla for short, was drama from start to finish.  Without getting into too much detail, ‘Zilla was at the bottom of the bridesmaid totem pole but tried to manipulate certain things to be about her.  The highlight of these efforts was what we call the “caesar salad saga”.

It’s quite simple, really!  Jennifer has a seafood allergy, and any decent caesar salad dressing has anchovy paste in it.  We never take any chances, so we requested a regular garden salad for the dinner reception.  No big deal, right?  It’s a salad, but most importantly, it’s Jennifer’s wedding.  You wouldn’t believe how this salad became a bone of contention between them!  ‘Zilla looked up recipes for vegan versions online.  The salad was repeatedly brought up, but Jen had never really had caesar salad before due to her allergy.  Why would she suddenly want one for her wedding?  Bottom line, Jen chose the salad she wanted.  And for the record, since that time, she has tried vegan caesar salad and likes it.  But why would she gamble on something like that for her wedding night?  No, pick the salad you want.  Bottom line, end of discussion.

Drama continued right up to the morning of the wedding day.  As maid of honour, Lara was in charge of the bridesmaids and all communication was to go through her to relieve the pressure from Jen.  Lara would take care of any minor details so Jen would not have to be bothered.  Well, apparently a bra was needed on the wedding day, and so I received a 7:00 am phone call about it.  ‘Zilla didn’t want to call Lara because they were not getting along, at all, so they thought it would a good idea to call the groom on his wedding day, about a goddamn bra.  They actually called me to ask where you can get a bra on a holiday weekend.  Are you kidding me?

They must have called Lara and gotten it sorted because they got the bra situation taken care of without the groom having to intervene.  The wedding went off perfectly and the reception was even better.   I did my best to curate some cool music, and as a special treat, my sister Kathryn performed at the reception.  It was a jazz quartet — bass, bass clarinet, drums, guitar.  The crowning moment of their performance was a jazzy rendition of the “Cantina Theme” from Star Wars.  My sister had to order the sheet music which wasn’t cheap.  Her band’s performance that night was her wedding gift to us, and that reminds me that I do have one more regret.  That is, I wish I had filmed it.

After dinner, after the cake was served, and I was taking a rest between songs (I was a dancing fiend) I sat at ‘Zilla’s table for a bit to chat.  Jen’s friend Gordie, who is hilarious by the way, and married to one of the good bridesmaids, was also sitting with a few others at the table.  Knowing full well the drama that had gone down, Gordie mischievously commented, “That was a great wedding, Mike.  Everything was perfect and I am so happy for you and Jen.  The cake was great…the only thing I would change is the salad, if it was caesar it would have been perfect.”  Then the husband of ‘Zilla said, “We even gave them the recipe to make it…”

The last bit of ‘Zilla drama happened later in the evening as they were leaving.  The DJ played one of the special songs I picked, which was “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond.  My mom, sister, aunt and new wife started dancing to it and I shouted “It’s the Ladano girls dance!”  My sister, who was right drunk at that stage, yelled out, “LADANO GIRLS, YAAAY!”  They joined with me in a circle and we danced away to Neil, singing along, having a blast, laughing.  ‘Zilla was, apparently, standing nearby waiting to say goodbye.  I felt a tap on my shoulder and she very bitchily said “BYE!” while making a talkie-talkie motion with her hand.  Yeah, bye!

Jen and I will soon be celebrating our anniversary again, and we’ll probably play that wedding soundtrack CD and relive the good memories.  And I’ve convinced her to skip Lit from now on.  Small victories are still victories.