VIDEO: New Grab A Stack of Rock “Faces” shirts available at Teepublic!

Here’s a fun and quick video for you!

Thank you to Jex Russell for helping me present this brand new “Faces” shirt from Grab A Stack of Rock!  (Shirt pictured provided by Mike Semeniuk.)  These have been popular, probably due to the handsome mugs on ’em!  This new shirt features some popular guests.  In order:  Mike Slayen, Johnny Clauser, Peter Kerr, Jex Russell, Dr. Kathryn, Spenny Rice and Harrison Kopp.

Don’t forget, you can choose not just to support me, but the other wonderful creators in this community.

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Please give the video below a watch – trust me it’s worth it! – and consider supporting us on Teepublic.

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REVIEW: Gene Simmons – The Vault – Disk 3 (2018)

Previous Reading: 

Record Store Tales #600:  The Vault
Disk 1 Review
Disk 2 Review

 

 

 

 

 

Three discs in, and now we hit the holy grail of Kiss rarities, finally available in the Vault.

GENE SIMMONS – The Vault – Disk 3 (2018 Rhino)

In 1977, Kiss were in California and Gene Simmons went into the studio with Eddie and Alex Van Halen to record three new demos.  Van Halen were once his proteges of course, and were eager to help.  The Van Halen demo of “Christine Sixteen” has a noticeably different vibe on the drums, and Eddie’s solo was the template by which Ace Frehley’s was recorded.  There is also a bridge that was later dropped on the final Kiss version.  The outro Eddie guitars are overdubbed in a way unlike anything he’d do with Van Halen.  5/5

“Tunnel of Love” has the early embryo of the things Van Halen would later be known for.  The technique is all there, but not the tone.  These demos are as rough sounding as they come, and there was no effort put into getting Eddie a good guitar sound.  But there he is, shredding his way into Kisstory.  Alex is also immediately identifiable.  Unfortunately, the lacking element here is in the liner notes.  Gene spends more time talking about schmoozing than he does the song.  He does relay the story of signing Van Halen and tearing up the contract, again!  “Tunnel of Love” eventually made it onto Gene’s solo album, but the Van Halen demo is cooler.  5/5

“Got Love For Sale” almost starts like a Van Halen original.  Gene’s heavy-handed approach on the bass is a contrast that the VH vibe.  Still, this little three piece could have made for an interesting side gig.  Of course, Eddie’s solo is the highlight, whammying and doing his thang.  Shame his tone is so thin on these demos.  It is amazing that these songs spent decades locked in the vault (literally), and we never got to hear them until this box set came out.  Pretty cool.  4.5/5

Onto the 1980s and the Crazy Nights era.  Bruce Kulick wrote “Hell Or High Water” with Gene, and this demo shows the song was a little tougher sounding in its demo form.  Guitars were just a tad more prominent.  The song is otherwise more or less intact.  Sounds like Eric Carr on drums, but the liner notes rarely say for sure.  Gene describes the direction as “meandering”, but with hindsight, a good song is a good song.  4/5

Gene prefers the Revenge era.  “Domino” is the demo recorded with Silent Rage.  Gene describes it with comparisons to ZZ Top, and you can hear that influence in the verses.  The arrangement wasn’t final here, but the idea was a keeper.  There are some cool differences, such as the “Kisses like the kiss of death!” line repeating three times at the end.  I think Gene has performed it live that way before.  4/5

“Mad Dog” should be familiar to Kiss collectors.  The demo was also included in Kiss’ Box Set.  The main riff was later used in “Flaming Youth” on Destroyer, a better song.  Ace Frehley on guitars, J.R. Smalling on drums.  This raises an interesting question.  How many of the songs in this box set should be considered Gene Simmons demos, and how many should be considered Kiss?  This demo has appeared under both names now.  Some songs in this box set have more Kiss members on them than some Kiss songs.  It’s a fine line.  3.5/5 

“Only You” is a box set highlight.  This pre-Elder version has the lyrics that Doro Pesche would one day record in her cover.  This is the best version of “Only You” there is.  It is completely different after the first few verses, turning into a bopping groove with a piano lick anchoring it!  This is the version Kiss should have recorded, though perhaps for Kiss Killers.  In the liner notes, Gene explains that this was based on an earlier song called “Eskimo Sun” that we will eventually get to.  Gene says the chords were built from an appreciation for George Harrison.  Sounds like Ace Frehley on guitar, though Gene suggests in the liner notes that he recorded it without other members of Kiss.  He goes out of his way to say that they rarely accepted his requests to play on his demos.  There are sour grapes throughout the liner notes, which is unfortunate.  Great song.  5/5

“True Confessions #2” has Katey Sagal among the backup singers.  Some of these early demos have elements to them that should have carried over to the final versions.  Gene’s more natural singing on this is one such example.  It’s better this way than with the “monster” voice.  The truth of the matter is Gene’s not a bad singer, OK?  The monster voice is a bit much sometimes, and “True Confessions” proves it.  Gene’s just more expressive and sounds more like a lead singer than a character with his natural voice.  And that says it all.  In the end, character was chosen over authenticity.  4/5

“Childhood’s End” is a very rough recording of the song that later ended up on Carnival of Souls.  Though the title was lifted from Arthur C. Clarke’s groundbreaking novel, the lyrics are about a friend who committed suicide.  This idea was also used in “Legends Never Die” from Disk 1.  This particular version of “Childhood’s End” is unfinished and not nearly as compelling.  It does include a breakdown that is not in the final version, but sounds similar to “Outromental”.  This song needed a lot of work, and this demo is also really hard on the ears.  2.5/5 

“Burning Up With Fever #2” is another demo with Ace and J.R. Smalling.  It later ended up on Gene’s solo album.  This version rocks harder with less funk. The funkiness of Gene’s solo album was sometimes a little off-putting, so this demo may be more your speed.  3.5/5

“Good Girl Gone Bad” later ended up on Crazy Nights, but this early version has Bruce Kulick and what sounds like a drum machine.  It’s harder edged.  Though the final song is one of the better tunes on the album, this earlier arrangement shows it could have been a more Kiss-like rocker.  When they talk about compromises made to make Crazy Nights more commercial, this demo shows what was cut.  Guitars!  Shame the demo is so rough sonically, but keep in mind, nobody was saving these for eventual release on a box set.  3.5/5

“Trial By Fire” was one of Gene’s songs from the Asylum era, therefore this is one of the earliest things he recorded with Bruce Kulick.  This was always one of Gene’s better songs from an era when he wasn’t writing a lot of great songs.  This one has a different chorus of “Live fast, die young!”  This wasn’t on an old bootleg tape I used to have of Gene’s Asylum demos.  I would think this song was actually called “Live Fast Die Young” at this stage of composition.  3.5/5

A little more bass-heavy is the similar demo for “Secretly Cruel”, the other really good song that Gene did for Asylum.  This one did need a little more work in the guitar hook department, which it did eventually get.  Decent demo inclusion, though in this case the album version is the good one.  3/5

“Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em Yeah”, also known and “Rock and Rolls Royce” is a demo idea written around Destroyer, and eventually released on Rock and Roll Over.  It’s different from the 3:02 demo on the Destroyer box set.  It’s unclear who is playing on this demo, but there’s an early guitar solo and full drums.  3.5/5

“Am I Losing My Mind” is another stab at the song that would become “Only You”.  This demo is more “new wave” sounding, with programmed drums that sound somewhat dance-y.  Then it goes into a completely different chorus that is kind of funky, and doesn’t particularly match.  It is fascinating to hear how these songs evolve.  And we’re not finished yet, because there are more branches on this musical tree to come later on in this box set.  3/5

Average score for this CD:  A respectable 3.83/5

Disk 3 Track length and songwriters (from Wikipedia)

1. Christine Sixteen (VH Bros. Demo) (2:39) Simmons
2. Tunnel of Love (VH Bros. Demo) (3:32) Simmons
3. Got Love for Sale (VH Bros. Demo) (3:10) Simmons
4. Hell or High Water (Demo) (3:08) Simmons / Kulick
5. Domino (Demo) (3:46) Simmons
6. Mad Dog (Demo) (2:27) Simmons
7. Only You (Demo) (4:35) Simmons
8. True Confessions #2 (3:33) Simmons
9. Childhood’s End (Demo) (3:30) Simmons / Kulick / Thayer
10. Burning Up With Fever #2 (3:06) Simmons
11. Good Girl Gone Bad (Demo) (4:04) Simmons / Sigerson
12. Trial by Fire (Demo) (3:31) Simmons / Kulick
13. Secretly Cruel (Demo) (3:46) Simmons
14. Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em Yeah (Demo) (2:18) Simmons
15. Am I Losing My Mind (2:52) Simmons

REVIEW: Gene Simmons – The Vault – Disk 2 (2018)

Previous Reading: 

Record Store Tales #600:  The Vault
Disk 1 Review

 

 

 

 

 

Another disc, another 15 songs!

GENE SIMMONS – The Vault – Disk 2 (2018 Rhino)

One of the fastest and heaviest songs from Gene’s solo album Asshole was “Weapons of Mass Destruction”.  It was originally written for Psycho-Circus, but deemed insufficient.  The demo version just called “Weapons” features Gene calling out what instruments go where, and a much rougher recording.  The final album version was not a remarkable song and neither is this demo.  The song was pretty much in place at this stage.  2.5/5

“Weapons (Power to Raise the Dead)” is another demo version, this one with Ace Frehley on lead vocals.  Gene hoped for him to sing it on the Kiss album, and let Ace write new lyrics.  It also features Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer.  It sounds like Gene wrote the entire song around a bass lick.  This is why it’s better than Gene’s original idea:  Ace’s presence also brings much needed variety to this box set after 16 songs with Gene singing lead.  Ace was in good voice back then, and it would have been awesome to hear a final version.  Psycho-Circus could have and should have been a longer album to accommodate more band contributions.  3.5/5

“Hate” made it onto Carnival of Souls.  Gene openly admits he was inspired by Seattle and that angry style of music.  Written with Bruce Kulick and Scott Van Zen, “Hate” would be improved upon immensely when it was recorded for good.  What’s missing is Bruce’s wah-wah drenched lead guitar acrobatics and drones that normally run through the track.  Otherwise, this is the same arrangement, complete with lyrics and only minor differences.  There’s a neat tape edit trick at the end; see if you can spot it.  4/5

“Hate” goes immediately without break into “Carnival of Souls #2”.  This a four-track demo of the same song included on disc one.  This is performed with Scott Van Zen, and the lyrics are not fully written yet.  As stated earlier, this was never one of Gene’s better songs.  It does feature some cool guitar stuff in the middle breakdown, but otherwise this is a forgettable demo of a song that was never really up to snuff.  2/5

“Master of Flesh” is an interesting song because it’s a cover of a New York band called Street Punk.  Gene bought the publishing rights for cash from writer Jon Montgomery.  Regardless of the name “Street Punk”, that’s not what this is.  An acoustic ballad with spoken word verses, Gene compares it to David Bowie and Lou Reed.  There’s also a bit of John Lennon in the falsetto of the chorus.  Gene recorded the undated demo on a Tascam and plays the lead guitar solo himself.  Really not bad and had potential.  It wasn’t where Kiss was headed over their next few albums, but could have perhaps fit in somewhere.  3.5/5

“Heavy Rain” is a demo with Bruce Kulick of a recurring song called “Rain Keeps Fallin'”, previously released on a Gene Simmons Family Jewels Season One bonus CD.  This heavy-as-hell riff really pops.  Very much akin to Carnival of Souls kind of heavy, with rolling bass, this is the kind of material that is worth coming back to.  There’s some tape dropout issues but that is not unexpected on a collection of demos, often originally recorded on cassettes.  Eric Singer can easily be identified on drums by style and sound.  3.5/5

“Within” from Psycho-Circus was one of Gene’s more ambitious stompers.  Featuring backwards guitars and Lennon-inspired lyrics, there was some psychedelia involved.  Taking that further, the overall song was inspired by Doctor Strange from Marvel comics.  Gene envisioned Strange facing off against a character like Nightmare, and somehow, that led to “Within” featuring Bruce and Eric once again.  The backwards guitar on this demo was used in the final album version later on.  This lengthy demo is far more dramatic and heavy, and really allows certain riffs and bass parts to come out more.  If only the lyrics were complete!  If this were properly recorded, it could surpass the overproduced album version.  4/5

The first version of “In Your Face” included on this box set is a Gene demo before bringing it into Kiss for Ace Frehley to sing.  You may recall this track was a B-side or bonus track for Psycho-Circus, with Frehley singing.  The early version is a bit different with a lot of different lyrics.  It sort of hangs together but is a fairly loose idea that sounds thrown against the wall.  2.5/5

“In Your Face with Ace” is much closer to album version, partly re-written by Ace and much better recorded.  It’s barely different from the final version, except the lead guitar may sound more naturally Ace.  Another Frehley vocal is also very welcome.  This is a fantastic demo that again shows that Psycho-Circus could have rocked a lot more like Kiss.  The producer may have been an issue.  5/5

“Rain #2” is the second (but not last) version of “Rain Keeps Fallin'” that we will hear on this disc.  This version features Simmons proteges Silent Rage on instruments, with a drum machine.  It’s a bit different from the first version we heard called “Heavy Rain” and doesn’t seem to punch as hard.  Only now do a realize there is a line about “keep sippin’ my Diet Coke.”  Why not?  Dare I say why not?  3/5

It’s almost a cheat to call “Carnival Intro” a full track among the 15 here.  This 32 second track is the intro that was later used on Psycho-Circus, though it was originally intended for “Carnival of Souls”.  A cool little intro, but more like a bonus.  Historically valuable for the eventual use by Kiss.  2/5 

It was only a matter of time before Vinnie Vincent (née Cusano) appeared in this set.  Kiss began writing with the future Ankh Warrior in 1982 for what became Creatures of the Night.   Gene says “I Wanna Live” is among the songs they wrote, and has never been recorded or heard before.  It has a cool synth part that goes through the song and sounds like an idea with potential.  This demo sounds pretty decent and the chorus is good enough for rock and roll.  Catchy hard rock with a tough vibe.  4/5

“If It’s Too Hot, You’re Too Cold” later became “Hot and Cold” on Sonic Boom.  This demo with Silent Rage is based on an old song called “Rotten to the Core” from 1977.  Gene says it’s also related to “Eat Your Heart Out”, but the liner notes are a little confused here.  Either way, this is pretty good stuff and does have a 70s Kiss vibe, which is why it worked swimmingly on the Sonic Boom album.  4/5

Finally, “Rain Keeps Fallin'” appears in its third version!  This is still not the same one as the Family Jewels set, which is 3:53 in length.  This version sounds the most 80s, of the songs, circa Crazy Nights if Gene’s smooth vocal delivery is to go by.  It is very hard rock, with focus on the chorus.  You can really hear the evolution of a song by listening to this disc.  An interesting trip.  4/5

“Bells of Freedom” closes this disc, with a Who-inspired song.  Tommy Thayer is on guitar, but from a time before he was in Kiss.  You can hear the Pete Townsend influence in those big chords.  It’s a pretty good song idea and and it sounds like it could really have become something.  There is a great solo included.  It is hard to judge demos like this because often the concept is to get the idea down quickly.  We’ll err on the high side, because there are some serious possibilities with these hooks!  This could have been an 80s rock anthem!  4/5

Averaging out the score for the 15 songs, disc two rates:  3.16/5 stars

Disk 2 Track length and songwriters (from Wikipedia)

1. Weapons (4:16) Simmons
2. Weapons (Power to Raise the Dead) (4:13) Simmons / Frehley
3. Hate (Demo) (4:02) Simmons / Van Zen / Kulick
4. Carnival of Souls #2 (Demo) (3:15) Simmons / Van Zen
5. Master Of Flash (Street Punk) [1980?] (3:38) Montgomery
6. Heavy Rain (3:22) Simmons / Kulick
7. Within (Demo) (5:58) Simmons
8. In Your Face (Gene Demo) (1:51) Simmons
9. In Your Face (Ace Re-write Demo) (3:20) Simmons / Frehley
10. Rain #2 (3:35) Simmons
11. Carnival Intro (0:32) Simmons
12. I Wanna Live (Demo) (4:33) Simmons / Cusano
13. If It’s Too Hot, You’re Too Cold (3:42) Simmons
14. Rain Keeps Fallin’ (3:22) Simmons
15. Bells of Freedom (4:37) Simmons

REVIEW: Gene Simmons – The Vault – Disk 1 (2018)

Previous Reading:  Record Store Tales #600:  The Vault

 

I knew — I knew!! — that if I held out long enough, there was a chance this could happen.  When a bare-bones versions of the Gene Simmons Vault finally went on sale for a reasonable price, I had to have it.  All 11 CDs, plus the coin and the statue, for $100 was too great a deal to pass up.  All you don’t get is the actual vault and gift from Gene.  In this 12 part series, we will take a good look at my new Vault.

This box set was first announced about two decades ago, originally titled Gene Simmons 100.  Then it was going to be called Monster, though that title was re-used on something else instead (Gene blames Paul for “borrowing” that name).  As implied from 100 title, it was supposed to be a set of 100 unreleased songs from Gene vaults.  Kiss demos, solo demos, pre-Kiss music, everything.  Obviously things grew and grew, and so did the price tag!  In the end, there were 165 songs and a much more reasonable valuation.  This will only become more collectible.

In the liner notes, Gene says he tried to split up the songs by “mood”.  Please enjoy this series as we go through each and every song, disc by disc, in this massive collection.

GENE SIMMONS – The Vault – Disk 1 (2018 Rhino)

Rather than start with his earliest material, Simmons chose to sequence this box set starting with a 2011 recording called “Are You Ready”.  It is, for all intents and purposes, a Kiss song without Paul Stanley.  It features Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer on guitar and drums (and backing vocals).  This song was written after Kiss had essentially given up on recording albums, though one lyric was used previously on Monster:  “Give me [a] kiss,  bite your lips”.  This is a Kiss rocker, pure and simple, and had they ever recorded it, it could have been one of their best latter day songs.  The chorus is right out of 1977, and the boys do a great job on it for a demo.  A simple riff, and a fist-pumping beat, and you’re hooked.  Great song.  5/5

“I Turn To Stone” is a hotel demo by Gene and Tommy Thayer.  The title was inspired by the Biblical “pillar of salt” story, but there’s nothing holy about these lyrics.  It’s all about Gene’s inability to resist the fairer sex.  It’s a pretty good song that sounds very early 80s, somewhere around the Killers-Creatures era.  Gene talk-sings some of the lyrics but the song is otherwise pretty melodic.  There are some of “ah-ah-ah” bits in the outro that sound very Hot In the Shade.  Pretty cool, and doubtless would have been polished up for an album.  Great potential.  3.5/5

“Juliet” starts immediately with a riff like “Custard Pie”.  Co-written by Ken Tamplin for the Revenge album, it did not make the cut.  It’s a little herky-jerky sounding, and the clunky primitive drum machine used doesn’t translate it well.  Again, there’s a lyric here that was used later on “Russian Roulette” from Sonic Boom.  This song was probably rejected for being too close to Led Zeppelin.  2.5/5 

“Hey You” is the second Tamplin co-write.  It has a really cool dark vibe, but doesn’t hold together as a song.  It’s more just some components stuck together that don’t necessarily fit.  One guitar bit sounds like it made it onto Revenge in another song.  It’s upbeat, and sounds like something that was hoped to would be a fist pumper in concert.  Close but no cigar.  2/5 

The Carnival of Souls album contained a lot of stuff that was written for Revenge.  “I Confess” is one such song.  It’s one of Gene’s more serious lyrics, regarding religion and hypocrisy.  If you confess to the priest, who does the priest confess to?  This demo is not very different from the final version; just as dark and with the same vocal delivery.  The main differences are in the guitar parts, which Bruce Kulick later put his own stamp on.  4/5

Continuing on with things that ended up on Carnival, “Legends Never Die” was inspired by events that also inspired “Childhood’s End” later on.  Co-written by Micki Free and Adam Mitchell in 1982, this power ballad could have been on an album had Paul Stanley not been the ballad guy in Kiss.  When Gene went on to produce Wendy O. Williams, she recorded this song almost identically to the demo.  Her vocals are more extreme, going from soft to growl, but a Kiss version sung by Gene certainly would have been interesting.  This is as close as we get.  Gene considers it a very personal song.  4/5 

“Something Wicked This Way Comes” is a familiar song title that we have heard about for years.  Gene says he recorded several versions including some with Bruce Kulick on guitar.  It sounds very much like Carnival of Souls material, but not up to standards.  The outro guitar stuff is great.  There is potential to some of the individual parts, but as a whole there’s not much of a song here.   The title was inspired by Ray Bradbury, but is otherwise unrelated.  1/5

“Hand of Fate” with Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer was considered for Sonic Boom.  It’s a song Gene likes, and is a prime example of the “monster plod” groove that he is known for.  There are some nice layers of backing vocals on the bridge (all overdubbed by Gene), but the song would have been one of the weakest on Sonic Boom.  We already have a lot of Gene songs with this kind of groove and theme.  Next!  2/5

“Hunger” is a sex song, written in the late 80s and recorded on New Year’s Eve with Bruce Kulick and Eric Carr.  It’s nice to hear Carr; he has such an identifiable song.  This is an unremarkable song.  It’s a simple riff without a lot of melody to back it.  It sounds like a Whitesnake outtake more than Kiss, but Gene wasn’t beyond being “inspired” by other bands who were having hits.  2/5  

Gene prefers this demo of “In My Head” from Carnival of Souls.  His idea was to do “Beatles-y” things like recording backwards cymbals, but layering them over a heavy thumping groove.  The song idea is inspired by people to hear voices in their heads, and the result is a very chilling song and lyric.  It’s angry, heavy and slightly psychedelic.  The main differences are that Bruce hadn’t added all his layers of genius to the guitars yet.  4/5

Speaking of Carnival, one of the songs that didn’t make that album was “Carnival of Souls”.  It later came out on Gene solo album called (ahem) Asshole.  It was never a good enough song.  Demo #1 is pretty intact.  The issue is mostly the chorus, which just isn’t very good, nor fitting for the fast, almost thrashy verses.  Written with Scott Van Zen, Gene says he was going to a psychedelic vibe similar to the band Love.  A miss.  2/5

“Are You A Boy, or Are You A Girl” is a phrase Gene heard a lot growing up in New York, growing his hair long.  People would stop him on the street and ask that question.  “Are you a long haired creature from another world?”  This song has Eric Carr and Tommy Thayer, which would date it back to the Hot in the Shade era.  There are some musical ideas that later turned up in a Kiss song called “Hot and Cold”.  What is most interesting about this song is that Gene takes a brief bass solo at 1:25 into the song.  Gene’s an underrated bass player; just listen to those walking basslines on the first three albums.  Too bad Kiss never did anything like that on an album.  3/5

“Say You Don’t Want It” dates back to 1979, with a problematic song Gene had called “Mongoloid Man”.  This a is a re-write from 2001 with Tommy Thayer and without the troublesome lyrics.  Some of these words would resurface on “Spit” from the Revenge album.  “Spit” is a far better song.  Just not good enough, and monotonous to boot.  2/5

If that wasn’t enough, the original version of “Mongoloid Man” with Joe Perry on guitar follows.  Musically, this demo actually sounds better.  It has a cool vintage vibe not unlike Gene’s first solo album (which Joe also played on).   It was never going to be an amazing song, but this vintage version is definitely marginally better, despite the lyrics.  Perry smokes!  2.5/5 

Written by Darren Leader of Steel Panther with Gene, “I Wait” ends this disc on a powerful note.  You could call it a ballad, in sort of a late 90s altera-rock way.  It’s actually a great song and though not suitable for Kiss, would have made an excellent solo track.  It definitely sounds a lot more like a 90s alternative band than a classic rock band, but a good song is a good song.  “I Wait” is a good song with potential to be great.  Re-record this one, Gene, and release it as a single.  4/5

When we tally up the 15 individual song scores, this is how Disk 1 averages out:  2.63/5 stars.

We’ll be keeping track of these scores so we can get an accurate average for the box set.  This score is not surprising.  Gene is known for a quantity-over-quality style of creation.  At least his batting average here is over 50 (barely).

 

 

Disk 1 track length and songwriters (from Wikipedia)

1. Are You Ready [2011] (3:13) Simmons
2. I Turn to Stone (3:58) Simmons
3. Juliet (2:52) Simmons / Tamplin
4. Hey You (3:44) Simmons / Tamplin
5. I Confess (3:40) Simmons / Tamplin
6. Legends Never Die [1982] (4:24) Simmons / Mitchell / Free
7. Something Wicked This Way Comes [1988] (3:44) Simmons
8. Hand of Fate (3:15) Simmons
9. Hunger (4:14) Simmons
10. In My Head [1994] (3:30) Simmons / Van Zen / St. James
11. Carnival of Souls #1 [1994] (3:44) Simmons / Van Zen
12. Are You a Boy, or Are You a Girl (2:49) Simmons
13. Say You Don’t Want It (3:29) Simmons
14. Mongoloid Man [1976] (4:06) Simmons (with Joe Perry of Aerosmith)
15. I Wait (4:04) Leader / Simmons)

First Lunchwalk of the Year! Aching Joints, Happy Head

The clouds have parted, the sun has returned…and so have I, to my old lunchwalk route!

I have two routes.  The shorter one is about 25 minutes.  The longer one is about twice that.  Against my better judgement, I chose the long route.  No pain no gain?  I was definitely in pain!  My right leg specifically.  My knee and hip were groaning towards the end.  I pushed through, increasing my speed as much as I could handle, in order to get back and drink something cold and fizzy.

I decided to go the opposite direction as I usually went last year.  If you recall, I was getting really tired of the same route last year.  As usual, I took pictures.  I really like the one bag of dog poo that someone tried to throw over the fence into the work yard, but got tangled in a tree.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll do the short route!

Takeover of Rock Heaven (Part 1) – A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story (By 80sMetalMan)

Takeover of Rock Heaven

Part 1: The Plan

A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story

By 80sMetalMan

 

Somewhere in Hell:

Satan walked into the room waiting to address the assembled gathering, when he was distracted by a commotion. His security was  holding back Adolph Hitler and Saddam Hussein, who were demanding to be let into the meeting. Calmly, he walked over to where the commotion was coming from. “Look,” he said sternly, “I said clearly that you two aren’t coming in here.”

“You need us,” Hitler argued.

“No we don’t ,” Satan returned. “This isn’t a military operation, otherwise Julius Caesar would be here. Even it if it was I still wouldn’t have you two in here. You both demonstrated your military incompetence while you were on Earth.”

“But you have Vlad the Impaler here,” Hitler protested.

“He’s here for a different reason,” Satan explained. “Besides, if we have to kill any prisoners, we have your man Werner Poetsche. Now go before I go back to shoving pineapples up both your asses. “

With that, Hitler and Saddam were marched away and the door was closed. Satan let out an exasperated sigh before sitting at the head of the long table. As he sat down, Vlad questioned, “Why is he here?” pointing to Dave Holland.

“Because I should be in Rock Heaven,” Dave snarled back. “I’m only in Hell because of a bollocks conviction. Fucking Elvis used that to not allow me in, damn him.”

“Enough!” Satan boomed, his thunderous voice shaking the room. It achieved its goal in silencing all. “Mr. Holland is here at my request. He will help us in rounding up all the key members of Rock Heaven and he can get some revenge.”

That’s right,” Dave affirmed. “They’re all a bunch of assholes. They wouldn’t let me in but I bet when that woman beater Tony Iommi dies , they’ll let him in.”

Satan sighed again. “They probably will. Some religions look favourably on men hitting women. That’s another reason why I plan to take over and have summoned all of you here. There should be no Rock Heaven, most of those rock stars should be with us here in Hell. You are all going to help plan my takeover. I have had a mole there since 2003 and he’s been feeding me information whenever he can.”

“A mole, that’s a brilliant idea!” Al Capone complented. “Who is he?”

“You’d be very surprised,” was Satan’s reply. “My mole did get me into Rock Heaven when some mortal went back in time to try to wipe out heavy metal. So, now it’s the perfect time to act.”

“Couldn’t we take our legions and just storm the place?” Vlad suggested.

“It’s not that simple,” Satan explained. “The other side has a fail safe. If we simply invade, we risk all out war with Heaven, I mean the real Heaven. We don’t need that, so we have to be more cunning.”

“Is that why Julius isn’t here?” Caligula inquired.

“Exacty why!” Satan affirmed. “And why we can’t risk an all out war with Heaven. The last time that happened, Heaven’s forces were commanded by George S. Patton who studied Caesar’s strategies and thwarted him at every turn. We got our asses kicked.”

“So tell me exactly how we are going to take over Rock Heaven?” Charles Manson probed.

“Yeah, you know once we act, those two Canadian super-heroes and their companions will try to stop you,” Dave Holland pointed out.

“I know,” Satan conceded. “But I have a plan. Those two super-heroes will be on a wild goose chase and while they’re distracted elsewhere, we will make our move. Besides, once we take over Rock Heaven, I think the town of Thunder Bay will thank us. They’re not happy with those super-heroes or the musicians in Rock Heaven for putting on that concert which nearly destroyed their town.”

Somewhere in Rock Heaven:

Martin Suplee’s head was pounding once again. He hoped he might have had a reprieve this time around. After all, Rory Gallagher and Jeff Beck were more blues guitarists, likewise with Dusty Hill on bass. Even with Razzle on drums, he thought it might not have been the metal he was constantly being bombarded with. However, he couldn’t have been more wrong. They turned up the amp and blasted him with power chords and blistering guitar solos. His head was throbbing by the time the session finished.

The throbbing began to ease as he was escorted back to his cell. In one way, he was lucky. Most of the time, he was subjected to sessions involving Lemmy, Jeff Hannemann and Cliff Burton. Those sessions left him with the feeling his head was going to explode in scanners fashion. “I guess I should be grateful,” he thought to himself as he entered his cell.

He needed no force to go into the cell, it gave him respite from the constant jamming of decesased musicians from the genre he tried to erase from history. Had it not been for this time alone, he would have gone mad ages ago. Several of his hench-persons who had travelled back in time with him urged him to admit that he was wrong in trying to erase metal from history. He stubbornly refused. If anything, constantly being bombarded with heavy metal from dead metal musicians only strenghtened his belief that his cause was right.

Suplee was still thinking this over, at least when he could because even in his cell, he was still able to hear those musicans playing. At that moment, it was Warrell Dane, Eddie Van Halen, Lorne Black and A.J. Pero who were assaulting his eardrums. Suddenly, he was distracted by shuffling at his cell door. Suplee turned and saw a singer, who didn’t sing heavy metal and he admired somewhat, standing at his cell’s entrance.

Before he could say anything, the singer put his finger to his lips and whispered, “I’ve come to get you out.” With that, the singer beckoned and Martin Suplee followed. Stealthily, the pair tiptoed through Rock Heaven and somehow, nobody noticed them. They carried on until they came to a huge door.

“This is the way out,” the singer directed.

“Where will I go?” asked a rather perplexed Mr. Suplee.

“Why, to Hell of course,” the singer responded, trying to keep down the volume of his voice. “Why, if anyone leaves Rock Heaven, the only place they can go is Hell. My boss is expecting you. He will assist you in ridding the world of heavy metal.”

Suplee opened his mouth to ask for more details but the singer had mysteriously vanished from sight, leaving him on his own. Not knowing what else to do, he thought to himself, “It’s worth a try” and pushed the door open and stepped through. As he entered a strange void, all he could think was “Maybe there was still a chance that he could wipe heavy metal from ever existing.”

Back in Hell

Satan waited along with those he assembled as the figure materialized before them. “When it did, he addressed the confused new arrival, “Welcome to Hell, Mr. Suplee.”

Bewildered, Mr. Suplee looked around the room. Why he actually was in Hell! He recognized Satan as he was responsible for him being in Rock Heaven. If that wasn’t enough, he recognized some of those with him, chiefly Al Capone and Charles Manson. Plus the were two other men and a woman, who he assumed was Lizzy Borden, due to her clothing. One man was in medieval dress, the other in a Roman toga. However, the remaining man bothered him. He was dressed in heavy metal attire. Therefore, he sensed a trap.

“Who’s he?” Suplee asked pointing to the metal clad Dave Holland.

“Why, he’s part of my plan to take over Rock Heaven!” Satan laughed louldy sending vibrations around the room. “All those metal musicians should be suffering here in Hell. Don’t you agree?”

Mr. Suplee nodded, “What do you want me to do?”

Satan explained, “What you didn’t know when you went back in time to destroy heavy metal from existence is that when those in Rock Heaven created heavy metal, one of the blueprints they used was Nazereth’s “Hair of the Dog” album. What you need to do is go to this MetalMan’s house and steal his copy. You can get your revenge on him as well for his assistance in Tee-Bone Man and Superdekes defeating you. When you steal that album, MetalMan will call for the super-heroes and they will come to stop you and you can defeat them.

“How can I defeat them? Last time, I had a special device but they neutralized it. Now I’m just an ordinary human.”

“That’s where I come in!” Satan boomed. “I can give you powers that will help you defeat them.

“Then give me those powers,” Suplee demanded. “And I shall defeat those meddlesome super-heroes and wipe heavy metal from history!” His laughed resembled those from cartoon villians.

“Very well,” Satan chortled. He pointed his trident at Mr. Suplee and the transformation began taking place. Suplee let out a long blood-curtling scream as large black wings began growing from the middle of his back. However, he took the pain as a new aura overcame him. When the wings had fully grown out, his clothing mysteriously changed to black robes. A few seconds later, the transformation was  complete and Suplee felt different.

“Arise,” Satan commanded.

Mr. Suplee stood tall. He spread out his new wings fully, nearly knocking into Al Capone.

“Your transformation is now complete,” Satan informed. “You can know go and destroy Tee-Bone Man and Superdekes.

“Yes, I will have my vengeance on those two,” Suplee snarled before he mysteriously vanished.

Once Suplee had gone, Caligula asked, “Do you think he’ll succeed?”

Satan mischieviously replied, “He doesn’t need to. All we need is for him to keep the super-heroes busy long enough so we can make our move on Rock Heaven.”

 

To be continued….

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

 

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

Total Eclispe

Do you have plans to observe the eclipse today?  I have my glasses and will be popping out of the office to have a look.

 

THAT WAS COOL!  It got slowly darker and colder until it felt like early evening.  That part was almost cooler than the eclipse itself.

 

#1120.5: We Have Opened! Grab A Stack of Rock returns to the cottage! First cottage video of 2024

As the Klingons (and Stooges) say: Qa’pla! (Success!)

I’ve been checking out the weather forecasts for weeks.  There hasn’t been a clear, beautiful Saturday to go to the lake.  Even this week, the forecast was for flurries and cloudy skies.  That all changed Thursday, when the weather was looking like sun and cloud.  When Saturday finally rolled around, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  Jen, my dad and I bundled up and headed to the lake for the first time in over five months.

This time it went without a hitch! If you recall, 2022 was the year of the melted glasses, and 2023 was the almost-speeding-ticket.  There were no such problems this year.  It was cold, and we had to bundle up, but that was a minor inconvenience.

Now I’m not saying everything was perfect; that’s not how it goes in cottage country.  Winter always does some damage, it’s just a matter of how much.  One lady across the road had a cedar tree down.  That wasn’t our issue; ours was pest related!  There is an animal living under the shed, perhaps a skunk?  There was a drowned mouse in the toilet, and the mice had gotten into the spice cabinet.  Virtually everything has to be tossed.  They really seem to like the smell of garlic.  My garlic olive oil had its cap gnawed clean off.  My sister had it even worse.  She bought a dozen mouse traps, and every one was full.

There was also an issue with the internet.  It should have been connected, but we fiddled and fiddled around with no success.  It turns out, Rogers cancelled the service by mistake!  My dad was trying to cancel his home service, but without success.  Now we know why.  Rogers cancelled the cottage service by mistake!  I phoned home to tell my mom, who quickly sussed out the problem.  By the time we left the cottage, internet was restored.

The stage is now set for my favourite thing ever:  cottage episodes of Grab A Stack of Rock!  Though nothing is planned yet, it’s definitely happening.

Road tunes – April 6 2024:

  1. Alice Cooper – Goes to Hell
  2. Alice Cooper – School’s Out
  3. Alice Cooper – Greatest Hits (miscellaneous tracks)
  4. Deep Purple – Bananas
  5. Deep Purple – Now What?!

Heavy on the Bob Ezrin this time out.

Please enjoy the first cottage video of 2024.

Mike and Aaron go to Toronto: The Complete Series + More

If you weren’t following back from 2012 to 2019, you may have missed all the Mike and Aaron Go to Toronto excursions!

From 2012 to 2015, Aaron and I went to “Taranna” every year to go hunting for CDs, records, books and more.  We always made our regular stops:  Sonic Boom, BMV and Pauper’s Pub.  Some years, we hit up shops like Kops Records, Paradisc Bound, and Moonbean for coffee.  I missed 2016 and 2017 to go to TF Con in Toronto instead.  There are only so many dollars!  Aaron and I returned in 2018, at the behest of my late mother-in-law, who was dying of cancer.  “Go with your friend,” she insisted.

After her passing, Jen and I decided to spend the summer of 2019 at the cottage.  We were not able to go at all in 2018.  We made up for lost time, but in 2020 the pandemic hit!  Aaron and I were not able to return to Toronto together since.

I always documented and edited these trips into videos.  I recently compiled all these videos (and some bonus stuff) into two live streams that you are able to watch below!  Both streams have bonus footage!  The first has a musical unboxing from Aaron.  The second stream has a brand new chat with Aaron that you have never seen before!

Aaron and I will be returning to “Taranna” in 2024.  Watch this space…

#1120: Coming Soon: Opening Season…

RECORD STORE TALES #1120: Coming Soon: Opening Season…

 

Opening weekend rarely goes as planned!

Soon we will be returning to open up the cottage for another season of sun, sand, swimming, and Grab A Stack of Rock!  We hope this season’s opening day goes without a hitch.  The last two didn’t!  Shall we recap?

2022

 

2022’s trip up was serenaded by John Williams’ soundtrack to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  This was appropriate because we first saw that film in 1989 at the cottage.

It was a lovely opening day.  The drive up (just my dad and I) was uneventful.  Our arrival was marked by peace and quiet.  Sunny, warm, and a perfect morning to spend outdoors.

I never accompanied the family to open the cottage in my Record Store days.  Usually I was working.  If I wasn’t working, I was spending my free time going on dates with girls.  That was pretty much it.  Work and dating.  The cottage wasn’t interesting to me in those days.  It’s a different story today.  Now I spend my whole winter dreaming of opening day.

In 2022, we made good progress and by late morning, I started burning up old scrub and branches that had fallen during the winter.  I gleefully wandered around, scooping armfuls of pine needles and twigs into a roaring fire.

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There was only one issue, and it was one I should have dealt with long before.  My glasses were loose.  I had them adjusted once, and they slowly loosened again over time.  They were prone to falling right off my face if I looked down.  I should have had them fixed long before, and I should have been more careful about what happened next.

I scooped into my arms another pile of pine needles for the fire.  My glasses dropped into my arms as I tossed the flammables into the fire.  My glasses went with them.  They melted in seconds, though I frantically searching the ground in futile hope for several minutes before giving up.

The panic set in shortly thereafter!

I phoned Jen at home to see if she could locate my old pair.  No luck.  I sulked on the couch for a while, dreading the coming days with no glasses.  Then I thought to check my car’s glovebox.

Behold!  An old pair of glasses were still in the glovebox, thank God.  I was able to drive home, and continue to live my life relatively normally.

Dad and I drove to the sounds of Jon Lord, with his Concerto for Group and Orchestra, featuring Bruce Dickinson singing the second movement.  After this, I selected Johnny Cash’s American III: Solitary Man.  My dad could have driven in total silence, though I never could.

2022’s trip was salvaged.  How did 2023 go?

2023

 

April 15, 2023.  My dad and I returned, with Jen in tow.  The music selected this time was Jeff Wayne’s musical version of War of the Worlds.

I had a bad feeling this time.  @MarriedandHeels from California had promised to be my support over winter, as I dealt with seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.).  She had a “Ragnar” marathon from April 14-16 2023. In the weeks preceding, video and audio messages from her all but dried up, even though I was still creating them daily for her.  She sent a video message from the marathon on the Saturday, but there were a number of red flags.  There was something wrong with the video message she sent, and the two that followed. None of them began with her customary “Hi Mike!”

“Is she sending these video messages to everyone?” I asked myself. Things began falling apart from that point.  My spider senses would not stop tingling, and even though she had promised to show up for the Grab A Stack of Rock shows from the cottage, she didn’t attend or even watch one of them.  Not even one.  This shadow loomed heavy over the season as it began in 2023.

The bad vibes continued as we drove home.  I almost got a speeding ticket, my first in over a decade.  As he was pulling us over, the cop got a call for an urgent accident.  He told me I got lucky, as he returned my license to me and drove off.    I switched up the music, first to Gordon Lightfoot – Complete Greatest Hits.  I had no way to know that Gordon would be gone a mere two weeks later.   I followed Gord with the Goo Goo Dolls – A Boy Named Goo.

Fortunately these bad omens did not impact the incoming cottage season.  2023 was as good as ever.

2024

 

And now, we we plan our return in 2024, we have plenty of new music from Judas Priest, Bruce Dickinson, John Williams, the Arkells, and much more to enjoy at the cottage.  What will the first album be as we drive up again?  We’ll see soon enough!

See #1120.5 for the answer!