It seems like only last year, but in fact it was 10 years ago today. One of the only times we ever closed the store early was the Great Blackout of 2003. If you lived in, well, North America, you probably remember Blackout 2003.
I recall closing up shop in the mid-afternoon. It was obvious the power wasn’t coming back on, but the phones were working. We got the call to do our best to close up without power, and head home.
For many people, particularly in Toronto, this turned out to be an exceptional evening. People left their homes, went out and socialized. Many went to the beach. Me, I just sat at home and read a book until it was too dark to read. Then I turned in.
I fell asleep quickly, it was so quiet. Suddenly I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. I reached for my watch, my eyes trying to focus on the glowing hands. 4:30 am. I didn’t know what to think.
On the other end was Brandon “You Are So Punk” Hunt, who worked at our Niagara Falls location. That first night, they incredibly still had power, although that wasn’t going to last!
“Man, why are you calling?” I yawned. “It’s 4:30 in the morning.”
Brandon Hunt paused. “What are you talking about?”
Frustrated, I answered, “I’m looking at my watch, you’re calling me at 4:30 in the morning!”
Brandon paused again, and answered simply, “Dude. Your watch is upside down. It’s 10:00 pm. I just got home from work.”
D’Oh!
The next day, Friday the 15th, the power was restored in the early morning. Still, we weren’t supposed to be open. The government had advised all non-essential businesses to stay closed, and not put additional strain on our fried power grid. Us being so essential, were open (of course). That is until about mid-afternoon when we again had to close, due to rolling blackouts. The shit thing about that was that we were absolutely slammed with people that morning, we were overwhelmed. A lot of them were what I called “tire kickers” — they like to ask you a lot of questions but they don’t buy anything. Since nobody was open except us and a few other “essential” businesses, it was like a holiday for the general public. People brought in used discs by the box load to sell, I kid you not. I went through 300 discs from one guy alone. I had him leave his box behind because it was going to take a couple hours to go through, and then we ended up closing while he was out. He came back a few days later for his cash and unwanted discs (which was most of them).
When people reflect back on the blackout, they usually have fond memories and stories. Not me! I remember shit stories! Oh! And I had to throw out all the meat that I had bought that day before work too, because the fridge had no power. Fuck you, blackouts!
Remember the PMRC? If you were around in the 1980’s you might. The Parents’ Music Resource Center was an organization cofounded by Tipper Gore. They caused a lot of grief for musicians and fans alike. The PMRC wanted albums to have ratings, much like a movie, and to restrict certain albums to certain age groups.
Both Dee Snider and Frank Zappa raked them over the coals in a Senate hearing, but much damage was done. The PARENTAL ADVISORY – EXPLICIT CONTENT logo has defaced many rock albums. Sometimes it’s just a sticker, but almost as often, it’s printed over the cover art. Frank Zappa’s instrumental album Jazz From Hell was even stickered “explicit content” – an album that has no words at all! Huge chains such as Walmart refused to carry many albums such as this, and this eventually led to the rise of “clean” and “dirty” versions of albums. It was one way to get the records in the stores. This way, grandma can buy little Johnny the “clean” version of Eminem for Christmas.
This had an impact on us, an independent chain, as well. In the senate hearing, Dee Snider advised that if a parent is concerned about the music their kids are listening to, “I think a parent could take it home, listen to it. And I do not think there are too many retail stores that would deny them the ability to return the album for something different.”
Dee was 100% right. That was the policy that we had. If a parent wasn’t happy with the lyrical content of their kid’s purchase, we had no problem returning it. Even though there were times that I’d been yelled at for doing a refund instead of an exchange, we made exceptions when it came to explicit lyrical content. In those cases we often offered a full refund, and normally getting a refund out of us was about as easy as Steve-O removing this snapping turtle from his ass.
Some parents used to get upset that I would knowingly sell an album with swearing on it to their kid. Now, to be clear, we wouldn’t sell 2 Pac to a 10 year old. We didn’t do that. We would tell the 10 year to come back with a parent, and they’d whine and leave. However when a kid is in their mid-teens, and it’s harder to tell their age (or if their parents have a pickle up their behinds), we’d sell them the disc. And that’s when some parents would get mad. “Isn’t it illegal to sell this to a kid?”
No, it wasn’t illegal, thankfully. I would have hated to live in a world where I couldn’t hear Twisted Sister until my 18th birthday. But I was smart enough to know fantasy from reality, and my parents were trusting enough to give me that much credit.
Once you give the parents a refund, they were always happy. You never know what a parent would be offended by. One guy refused to buy Nirvana for his son, because Kurt committed suicide. One parent refused to allow her kid to listen to “black music” such as Backstreet Boys. No shit.
Very hard to tell just from this if it’s “clean” or “dirty”
For us, selling used CDs, I think the biggest problem was the “clean” and “dirty versions”. On some discs, it was nearly impossible to tell by the cover if it was censored or not, because often those kinds of stickers would be on the plastic shrinkwrap. Once the shrinkwrap was off, and the CD made it into a used shop like ours, the only way to tell would be to listen.
I spent a lot of time sampling Wu-Tang Clan albums to see if they were clean or dirty. Thankfully I knew where on the disc to check easily without spending too much time on it. We had to sell clean versions for less, because the majority didn’t want them. We had to exchange a lot of clean versions for something else too, when it wasn’t obvious by the packaging.
Looking back at the kind of music people used to get upset about, it seems hilariously blown out of proportion. I’ll end today’s tale with a quote from Dee Snider’s testimonial at the senate hearing:
“The PMRC has made public a list of 15, of what they feel are some of the most blatant songs lyrically. On this list is our song “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” upon which has been bestowed a “V” rating, indicating violent lyrical content.
”You will note from the lyrics before you that there is absolutely no violence of any type either sung about or implied anywhere in the song. Now, it strikes me that the PMRC may have confused our video presentation for this song with the song with the lyrics, with the meaning of the lyrics.
”It is no secret that the videos often depict story lines completely unrelated to the lyrics of the song they accompany. The video “We’re Not Gonna Take It” was simply meant to be a cartoon with human actors playing variations on the Roadrunner/Wile E. Coyote theme, Each stunt was selected from my extensive personal collection of cartoons.
”You will note when you watch the entire video that after each catastrophe our villain suffers through, in the next sequence he reappears unharmed by any previous attack, no worse for the wear.
”By the way, I am very pleased to note that the United Way of America has been granted a request to use portions of our “We’re Not Gonna Take It” video in a program they are producing on the subject of the changing American family. They asked for it because of its “light-hearted way of talking about communicating with teenagers.
“It is gratifying that an organization as respected as the United Way of America appreciates where we are coming from. I have included a copy of the United Way’s request as part of my written testimony. Thank you, United Way.”
DEEP PURPLE – Shades 1968-1998 (Rhino 1999 box set)
I was really excited about this 1999 box set when it came out, but what it came down to was this: I paid “x” amount of dollars for just two songs that I didn’t have on other recent Deep Purple CDs. One song, “Slow Down Sister” by Deep Purple Mk 5 was only available here. It’s since been reissued on the Slaves and Masters deluxe edition. The other is a very rare and very great 1971 live version of “No No No” from a compilation called Ritchie Blackmore/Rock Profile Vol. 1. So there’s your bait.
Unfortunately, the booklet and discography is loaded with errors. This was disappointing. The packaging is nice, with that sheet metal looking embossed cover. It opens kind of awkwardly though, making it hard to handle. And man, there are so many Deep Purple box sets out there now! I have Listen, Learn, Read On which is six CDs dedicated entirely to just 1968-1976. Obviously you can’t squeeze Deep Purple’s career onto just four discs. This set covers 1968-1998, which is a huge chunk. It’s almost the entire Jon Lord tenure. It skimps in some places and confounds me in others. Usually, Rhino do such a great job, but I felt this one didn’t live up to their other products.
Disc one covers 1968 to 1971 (Shades Of to Fireball). The tracks listed here as demos or rarities are from the Deep Purple remastered CDs, all except for the aforementioned “No No No” which really is awesome. If you have the great Singles A’s & B’s and the Deep Purple remasters, you have all this stuff. Except maybe the edit version of “”River Deep, Mountain High”, I’m not certain about that one. You get a good smattering of favourites on here, like “Kentucky Woman”, “Speed King”, “Child In Time” and so on, but it’s not really sequenced all that well. The slow-ish Deep Purple Mk I material fits awkwardly with the Mk II. Other songs of note include non-album singles and B-sides such as “Hallelujah” (first recording with Ian Gillan) and “The Bird Has Flown”. The version of “Speed King” included is the full UK cut, with the crazy noise intro.
Disc two is 1971 to 1972: more Fireball, and Machine Head. All these tracks can be found on Deep Purple remasters. There are some excellent tracks here, such as the rare “Painted Horse” and “Freedom”. “Painted Horse”, a personal favourite, has been available for decades on an album called Power House. I guess Blackmore didn’t like them at the time, so they languished until the band broke up before the record label released them. “I’m Alone” was rare for a long time, and “Slow Train” was completely undiscovered until the Fireball remaster. I like that “Anyone’s Daughter” is on here, a very underrated song. Of course you will hear all the big hits on this disc: The studio versions of “Smoke on the Water”, “Fireball”, Highway Star” and “Space Truckin'”. This will be many people’s favourite disc.
The third CD continues with Mk II. It starts off with the Made In Japan live version of “Smoke” which is fine, but now you’ve heard it twice. Soon, it’s “Woman From To-kay-yo”, “Mary Long”, and the scathing “Smooth Dancer”. Then Gillan and Glover are out, and in comes Coverdale and Hughes One rarity on this disc is the instrumental “Coronarias Redig”, which dates from the Burn period. It also includes some of Mk III’s most impressive work, including two of the best tunes from Come Taste The Band. Conspicuous by their absence is the epic “You Keep On Moving”, and Blackmore-era fave “Gypsy”. You will, however get “Burn”, and “Stormbringer” from Stormbringer itself.
The fourth CD is the one that ticks me off the most. This covers the reunion era, from 1984 to the then-most recent album Abandon in 1998. The hits are here, “Perfect Strangers” and “Knocking’ On Your Back Door”, as well as some singles from the Joe Lynn Turner era. What ticks me off here is the song selection. “Fire In The Basement”? What? That song kind of sucks, why not “The Cut Runs Deep”? Only one song from The Battle Rages On is included, only one from the excellent Purpendicular, and only one from the recent Abandon? And not even the best songs? That makes no sense.
To short-change the later era of Deep Purple only serves to short-change the listener. The band were revitalized and rejuventated by Steve Morse, and made some really good, well received music. I saw them live with Morse in 1996.
From The House of Blue Light era, a single edit of “Bad Attitude” is included, which is probably rare. What you won’t get is the full, 10 minute + version of the instrumental “Son Of Aleric”. This is one of the best lesser known tunes from the reunion era. Instead, you get the truncated 7″ single version. That makes the 10 minute version frustratingly hard to get. It was originally released on a 12″ single, which you may be able to find. You might have better luck finding it on the European version of Knocking at Your Back Door: The Best of Deep Purple in the 80’s. It was included there, replacing “Child In Time” from the US version. I managed to get it thanks to my mom & dad who bought it for me at an HMV store in Edinburgh (along with Restless Heart by Whitesnake).
Mick Wall’s liner notes offer the Morse years a mere mention, and end on a nostalgia note of “bring back Blackmore.” Come on. Let’s focus on the present of a band that shows no signs of slowing down, shall we? But this box set short changes the present, and by picking it up you won’t hear such awesome later songs as “Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming” or “Fingers to the Bone”.
I know many reviews of this set are glowing, and each reviewer has their own reasons for doing so. I can’t. This band is too important, too vital, and dammit, still alive! This box set simply doesn’t do them justice. I was ticked off when I bought it and realized I owned almost all the “rare and unreleased” material. Collectors won’t find much here worth the coin spent, and rock fans who just want a great box set of Deep Purple won’t get to hear enough Morse.
Welcome back to WTF! Click here if you missed the last one. This edition collects some musical Google searches that somehow led people here to this blog. Enjoy these head-scratchers and WTFs!
This first guy’s obviously an idiot.
10. steve morse sucks
9.is paul stanley loosoing his voice?
8.i wouldl like to hear mob rules (why, how polite!)
7.life+it+up+kiss
6.black sabbath paranoid deluxe edition where is the 3 disc (right there.)
5.phrase from what tv show – it’s the final countdown!! (Arrested Development.)
4.puff daddy’s embarring habit
3.new kids on the block poster greatest hits
2.real elvis videos tumblr hornny holes
And this week’s winner:
1.marilyn manson with butt plug
Like the WTF’s? Then come back soon, or better yet, subscribe!
LOOK! It’s Rock and Roll! I’m gonna review all of Ace Frehley’s solo albums. Welcome to the series! For Ace’s 1978 solo album, click here! This review goes out to MARKO FOX! Thanks for inspiring this idea. And happy birthday to ANTON FIG!
“Rock Soldiers come, and Rock Soldiers go. Some hear the drum, and some never know. Hey, Rock Soliders, how do we know? ACE is back and he told you so!”
It’s very daunting for me to review this. My sister bought this album for me, for my birthday, in July 1987. I had been a Kiss fan for a few years, and immediately liked Ace best. Yet he’d been quiet for so long. I didn’t even know what he looked like. Then, the powerful video for “Into the Night” premiered on Much, and I knew right away. I absolutely needed the album.
Frehley’s Comet is the debut release by Ace Frehley’s new band. He had quite a band, too. Singer / guitarist / keyboardist Tod Howarth had a really powerful, commercial voice and added keyboards to the mix, which was an edge in the late 80’s. Meanwhile, on drums, was Anton Fig. Veteran of at least three Kiss releases (Ace’s 1978 solo album, Dynasty, and Unmasked), there’s a reason David Letterman refers to Anton as “Buddy Rich Jr.” Having Anton in the band was a serious coup. On bass was John Regan, who proved to be a the only member to stick around for all of the 80’s.
“Rock Soldiers” was a great opening track. Ace is back and he told you so? Yeah! This stomping anthem is the tale of Ace’s own carnage. “And the devil sat in the passenger’s side of DeLorean’s automobile.” And later, “When I think of how my life was spared from that near-fatal wreck, if the Devil wants to play his card game now, he’s gonna play without an ACE in his deck!” How could Me 1987 not have loved this song? It had a killer singalong chorus and was released as a single.
“Breakout” is interesting because the riff was written by Eric Carr, Ace’s old Kiss bandmate. “Breakout” is in fact “Carr Jam ’81”, the song written at the time of The Elder. Kiss never used it, so Ace did. Tod sings lead on this one, and Anton plays his own drum solo where Eric once did. Ace then turns in a friggin’ classic Frehley solo.
“Into the Night” is a Russ Ballard song, which surprised me, as I always felt that the lyrics fit Ace’s New York background like a glove. It’s a mid-tempo rocker, and as first single, it was the first song that I heard. Today, it still sounds dramatic and cool.
“Something Moved” is another heavy rocker, written and sung by Tod. It’s similar in vibe to “Breakout”, and I really like when it goes into what I call the “Stryper riff” at the 2 minute mark, right after Ace’s solo. Side one ended with “We Got Your Rock”, a sleezy one about groupie with a backstage pass. To be honest, this one disappointed me back then. I still find the lyrics to be pretty bad. Ace co-wrote this one, hopefully not the lyrics, because the music’s decent enough. If it were a Kiss song, it would be one of those Gene Simmons monster tunes.
Thankfully, side two starts on a better note. “Love Me Right” is an Ace song, with a hard, solid riff and beat. Yet it’s Tod’s “Calling To You” that is the gem of the album. It’s a nice hard rocking commercial song with a scorching lead vocal. The chorus is killer, and I couldn’t understand why this wasn’t the biggest hit of 1987 back then. Sounds like a dual guitar solo too, with Tod taking the first solo and Ace finishing ‘er off.
The weirdest song is, without a doubt, “Dolls”. Ace wrote this one completely by himself, words and music, and I have no idea what the hell he’s singing about. I don’t think I want to know. Anyway, musically it’s a bright pop rock number, based on the keyboards. “Stranger In A Strange Land” is back in riff rock territory. The chorus sounds great, with Tod and Ace singing together.
The album closes with “Fractured Too”, an instrumental sequel to “Fractured Mirror” from Ace Frehley. It’s not quite as good as the first “Fractured”, but it has stood the test of time. It’s this kind of music that Ace doesn’t always get recognized for, but his layers of shimmering guitars are very cool.
I wish the lyrics on Frehley’s Comet were better. At least the music smokes!
From the snowy shores of Vancouver British Columbia came Jon Mikl Thor, cult favourite and man of remarkable physique! Keep the Dogs Away is his second album, but the first to be billed simply as Thor. (Prior to this, they were Thor and the Imps.) It’s corny, cheesy, not too serious and occasionally fun. According to Wikipedia, this thing even went gold!
I’ve certainly loved the title track for as long as I can remember. I used to see this guy Thor on MuchMusic all the time. Usually he’d be bending a steel bar in his mouth. Sometimes, he’d blow up a hot water bottle with nothing but lung power. In one mid-80’s Power Hour interview, I distinctly recall him explaining that he was wearing spikes before Motley Crue were (true) and that his spikes were bigger (also true). That’s the level we’re at here, just so you have an idea. Thor is now a B-movie thespian, and I remember seeing bits of one of his films, Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987) on TV.
There’s nothing exceptional here in terms of vocals, musicianship or songwriting, but the tunes are entertaining enough. You’ll find yourself able to sing along to “Sleeping Giant” and “Catch a Tiger”, with its simple “Yeah you know!” refrain. “Catch a Tiger” distantly resembles Rising-era Rainbow.
“I’m So Proud” is just rock and roll, kinda lite and reminiscent perhaps of the lesser Gene Simmons’ solo album material. Thor wouldn’t be influenced by Kiss just a little, would he? “Tell Me Lies” might be Thor aping Alice Cooper. I’m sure Alice was an influence on young Jon Mikl.
Side two commences with the cascading piano of the pompous but fun “Military Matters”. What Thor does here cannot really be strictly called singing, but he sure is bellowing! “Superhero” is comically bad, but…I seem to find myself humming along. Is it the basic simplicity? “Wasted” is of similar quality, although Thor’s not even trying to sing at this point. “Rosie” isn’t much better, and then the album closes on “Thunder”, a resounding thud of mediocrity.
I don’t regret the $10 that I spent on this. I’d wanted “Keeps the Dogs Away” (the song) for a long time and now I have it on a physical product. As far as I’m concerned, I have all the Thor I need now.
1/5 stars. But almost in that “so bad it’s good” category.
All of these are search terms that people typed into Google, and wound up on my site. Today the theme is “bodily functions”. If you missed the last one, be sure to click here!
“peeing” rowboat
shiting on top of a shit
shit into hand while in shower
poo
guy pissing in doorway
boy holding poop in
poo pictures
poo in the door way
poop in the shower post
when to wash your hands pinterest
“When to wash your hands”? Definitely after all of that!
I couldn’t figure out a music video to put with this, so let’s go with “TV Dinners” by ZZ Top, since that often will cause you to need to perform search term #4.
There’s not much music on this one, it’s more a photo review this time. Enjoy!
QUIET RIOT – “Slick Black Cadillac Live” 1983 Kerrang Flexidisc
The reason I have this (scored from Discogs!), aside from it just looking cool, is that it’s hilarious! The version of “Slick Black Cadillac” is the same great version that was later released on the remastered edition of Metal Health. However…it has recorded messages from the band members as well! These messages are directed to the UK readers of Kerrang! (who gave away this flexi-disc), and are dubbed directly over the song.
After Kevin DuBrow mentions the upcoming December gigs they’ll be playing, each member gets to say a word. Rudy in particular strikes my funny bone. “Hi, this is Rudy Sarzo, and I play the bass!” He’s just so…excited! As for Kevin? “When I see you I wanna hear you scream ’til your throats bleed!”
Flexi-discs are obviously fragile and are only good to play a handful of times. They have a bit more background noise than normal 45’s, but have the bonus of looking cooler than the average 45! This one is single sided, and came taped inside an issue of Kerrang! Not all flexi’s are clear like this one, so I consider this a fun conversation piece.
Here is a book that I heartily endorse — for beginners. I bought my best bud Peter a copy of this for his birthday a couple years ago. For a guy like Peter, a general survey book like this is perfect. It’s boiled down to the essentials, by a guy that many trust: Eddie Trunk.
I normally don’t go for this kind of book, because what can Eddie Trunk tell me about Judas Priest in three pages that Martin Popoff didn’t in his excellent book, Heavy Metal Painkillers? So this book is for the people that just want the facts, ma’am. Anybody who’s listened to Eddie Trunk’s show on Sirius XM knows that this guy is the real deal — he knows his stuff, he knows the bands personally, and he doesn’t pander. He has a genuine love for the music, all of it. His personal touch helps make his radio show that much more enjoyable. Same with this book.
After Rob Halford’s forward, Eddie presents his essential hard rock and heavy metal bands, in alphabetical order. AC/DC, Aerosmith, and all the way down the line. You may take exception to some of the bands that he skips over (I read on a message board that Quiet Riot were ticked that they’re not in here) but I think by and large he hit the nail on the head. The bands that he does include…well, it’s hard to argue against them, and you only get so much page space, right? And this is a gorgeous book. Full colour photos, every page. Beautiful. Lots from Eddie’s personal collection, you’ll see a very young Eddie Trunk meeting the bands as a kid!
In addition, Eddie gives you a discography for each band (not perfect, there are a couple errors here, as in inevitable in a book like this). He also lists the members of the bands, and the most important ex-members and sidemen. So when you get to Queen (and yeah, you may argue that Queen is not a hard rock band) you’ll see the four original members, and Paul Rodgers listed beneath them. Finally, Eddie gives you his list of his ideal mix CD for each band. Go ahead and make your own, and see if you agree!
As a gift to Peter who likes the music but doesn’t know the details, he gleaned plenty from this book. Before reading it, he only knew of one Billy Squier song. Eddie Trunk got him up to speed. Thanks Eddie!
5/5 stars
For a guy like me, and quite possibly you as well:
2.5/5 stars
Added note: I know there is a Part II as well, but I have not checked it out.
mikeladano.com 