Uncle Meat

#355: “The man’s hot piss warmed my freezing cold hands”

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#355: “The man’s hot piss warmed my freezing cold hands”

Once upon a time, in a Record Store not far away, there was a manager named Joe. Some people call him “Big Nose”. Some people just call him Joe. Two things about Joe you must understand: 1) Joe doesn’t give a crap about what anybody thinks, and 2) Joe doesn’t really know boundaries. Joe is the one who told me he had a crush on my mom. Joe is the one who introduced me to the Open Door Piss. I like Joe, don’t get me wrong.  He was pretty much the only one at the Record Store that I could confide in towards the end.  He is trustworthy, 100%.  A solid individual.  He was the best support I could have had.  But I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that Joe is different from just about everybody you know.

The Tale goes like this:

Joe and Uncle Meat were driving from Waterloo to Windsor, to go and visit Tom who was attending teacher’s college there.  It was December, and a cold one it was.  By this time, Tom sold his own branch of the Record Store, so he could continue his education and become a teacher.  Joe and Meat were travelling in Joe’s old beat up piece of shit.  It was the quintessential “old man car”.  It was huge, ancient, and nothing worked.  I’m amazed it made to Windsor and back, honestly.  One of the features that no longer functioned was the heat, which is a pretty darned important thing during a Canadian December.

Sometime during the three hour tour, Joe had to piss.  Pulling off highway 401 to pee isn’t Joe’s style.  Instead, he re-invented the piss jug, but with a large Tim Horton’s coffee cup.  After relieving himself in said cup, he passed it to Meat!

Meat, all this time, was freezing his ass off in the passenger side.  His hands and fingers in particular were as frigid as icicles.  Although being passed a cup of piss in most situations isn’t a position you want to be in, this time it wasn’t so bad.  The cup “felt like a hot double double in my hands,” says Meat.  Still warm with Joe’s body heat, the piss-cup helped Meat regain some of the sensation in his digits.  “What’s the greatest gift you can give?  The warmth from inside of you.  The man’s hot piss warmed my freezing cold hands,” according to Uncle Meat.

After warming his fingers, Meat rolled down the window.  He carefully prepared the cup for ejection.  He managed to throw it while only getting a surprisingly “minimal amount of piss” on his arm.

Neither Uncle Meat nor I condone littering, but sometimes life hands you a warm cup of piss, and you have no choice in the matter!

PISS CUP

REVIEW: Black Sabbath – Live Evil (remastered 2 CD version)

NOTE:  This is basically a review of the Deluxe edition of Live Evil.  I own The Rules of Hell (2008) box set of Dio-era Sabbath, so I did not need to buy the later Deluxe of Live Evil.  The 2 CD edition inside The Rules of Hell is sonically the same.

BLACK SABBATH – Live Evil (1982 Warner, 2008 Rhino)

Live Evil: Not only a palindrome, but also the last gasp of the Dio/Appice/Iommi/Butler lineup of Black Sabbath.  Hard to believe that their first “official” live release was with Ronnie James Dio at the mic and not Ozzy Osbourne! This infamous live album was the last thing Sabbath did before Dio left (the first time) and it’s actually a lot better than people generally give it credit for.

Some folks may not enjoy that live, there’s only one guitar.  When Iommi takes a guitar solo, the gap is filled by bassist Geezer Butler and keyboardist Geoff Nicholls.  The audible keyboards in the middle of a heavy metal song like “Neon Nights” do take a little getting used to, admittedly.  In the end though, it’s part of the scenery.  Black Sabbath didn’t do much with live keyboards in the original Ozzy era, but they were a part of every Sabbath lineup since.  There was also apparently a lot of behind the scenes bitching about instrument levels and whatnot that supposedly lead to the disintegration of the band.  This remastered edition of the CD leaves me with few qualms about the sound.

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Back in the 80’s and 90’s, you used to see a lot of fan rivalry.  “Dio sucks!” or “Dio rules!”  Today we all have the perspective to know that you can have both Ozzy and Dio, like having your cake and eating it too.  Well, until Dio’s heartbreaking 2010 death, that is.  It is true most singers that Sabbath have had couldn’t do the Ozzy material convincingly. Ozzy sounded genuinely disturbed and terrified on “Black Sabbath”. (“What is this that stands before me? Figure in black which points at me. Turn round quick and start to run. Find out I’m the chosen one…oh no, please God help me!”) Dio camps it up quite a bit, which is not my personal preference. The same goes for “War Pigs”.  I also find that Vinny Appice just can’t cop the vibe that Bill Ward got on the drums. Ward played it very subtle, almost tribal, and Vinny plays it straight ahead. But I’ve yet to hear any lineup that can do that song as well as the original album version, including the reunited (1997-2012) Sabbath with Ozzy and Bill.  (Appice also gets a drum solo on “War Pigs”; thunderous but not necessary.)

The set list for this album was pretty cool, including Mob Rules favourites “Voodoo” and an absolutely killer “Sign of the Southern Cross”. This version, melded with a long extended “Heaven and Hell”, is among the very best moments in Dio’s career. Basically, all the Dio-era material here is excellent, while the Ozzy-era stuff leaves you feeling just a little bit underwhelmed. Not to say they’re bad, they’re just…different.  Two completely different singers with their own personalities.  The fact is that Dio made it work live as best he could, and that’s commendable.

MVP:  The super slinky Geezer Butler.  The remastered edition allows us to hear with real clarity every massive note, and his bass is like a jolt of caffeine to the brain!

Since this is a 2CD set, all the between-song banter that was deleted on single disc versions has been restored. That’s important. Dio talks a lot between songs and that’s part of the album. Otherwise there is no bonus material. There are ample and interesting liner notes, and the front cover looks absolutely stunning. This is one of Sabbath’s all-time best covers (perhaps second only to their first album) and it definitely shines in this edition. (But don’t let that stop you from tracking down a vinyl copy so you can see it in its 12×12 glory!)

LIVE EVIL_0001

Shame that this was the last album of the original Dio era, but of course Dio and the band felt there needed to be additional chapters later on. And so there were. Live Evil remained a controversial album for a decade after its releasing, dividing fan and band opinions.  I asked two of my esteemed Sausagefest rock scholar friends for their opinion on it, to make sure we’ve covered all the bases. This is why they had to add:

Uncle Meat:  “As good as Dio was as a singer, I never really liked some of his takes on Ozzy Sabbath songs. He kinda over-sings them. It’s like he is bored with them and he appeases the singer in himself. Also the mix is pretty horrible as well. The truth is, the only great Sabbath live album isnt even a Sabbath album. Ozzy’s Speak of the Devil still sounds great today.”

Dr. Dave:  “I don’t love or hate it. I like it. The most interesting thing for me, besides Dio, is the Vinny Appice take on the whole thing. More of a groove, less of a swing than Bill Ward. Not saying better, just neatly different.”

Final note: The liner notes correct Dio’s name to Ronnie James Dio.  The original LP and CD had his name printed as simply “Ronnie Dio”, as a bit of a “fuck you” to the singer.  They do not, however, reinstate Vinny Appice as an “official” member, having his name under “special thanks”!

3.5/5 stars. The most historic of the Sabbath live albums.

Tom and Meat’s Top Whatever of 2014

For my Top Five of 2014, click here.

For Dr. Dave’s Top Ten of 2014, click here.

For the Top Whatever of No Pre-Determined Amount from two of Canada’s most knowledgeable rock gods, stay tuned right here.  From Meaford Ontario, weighing in at XXX lbs, it’s Iron Tom Sharpe, who turns it up to 11.

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Tom’s Top Eleven of 2014

BEN WARD11. Various Artists – RONNIE JAMES DIO: This Is Your Life
10. JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE – Single Mothers
9. MASTODON – Once More ‘Round the Sun
8. EARLY MAN – Thank God You’ve Got the Answers For Us All
7. OPETH – Pale Communion
6. JOHN GARCIA – John Garcia
5. ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES – Half the City
4. sHEAVY – The Best Of sHeavy – A Misleading Collection
3. DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS – English Oceans
2. BRANT BJORK and the LOW DESERT PUNK BAND – Black Power Flower
1. ORANGE GOBLIN – Back From The Abyss

Saving the best for last, here’s Uncle Meat.  For added rocket sauce he’s also given me his top movies of 2014.

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Meat’s Top Eight of 2014

Copy of IMG_20140706_0857128. MASTODON – Once More ‘Round the Sun
7. ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN – Meteorites
6. FOO FIGHTERS – Sonic Highways
5. “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC – Mandatory Fun
4. FLYING COLORS – Second Nature
3. BRANT BJORK and the LOW DESERT PUNK BAND – Black Power Flower
2. DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS – English Oceans
1. ORANGE GOBLIN – Back From the Abyss

Meat’s Top Twelve Movies of 2014

WHIPLASH12. Lucy
11. X Men : Days of Future Past
10. St. Vincent
9. Interstellar
8. The Lego Movie
7. The Grand Budapest Hotel
6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
5. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
4. Guardians of the Galaxy
3. Get On Up
2. Birdman
1. Whiplash

#345: Tyler and LeBrain episode 4 – Return of the Monster Truck

MEAT TRUCK

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#343: Tyler and LeBrain featuring Seb episode 4 – Return of the Monster Truck

This time we take on leather vests, the 90’s, Katy Perry, best singers ever…and Uncle Meat.

#340: A Tribute to Jeff Woods (GUEST SHOT by Uncle Meat)

GUEST SHOT by UNCLE MEAT

JEFF WOODS

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#340: A Tribute to Jeff Woods

When you meet someone who has some sort of “celebrity” status, you almost expect them to be stand-off ish with you. A few years ago Tom and I won the chance as per a radio contest to see an intimate-type interview with Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson of Rush, which was conducted by Legends of Classic Rock/Q107 radio personality Jeff Woods.  We met Geddy and Alex very briefly and had a quick picture taken. However the true joy of this experience was our meeting afterwards with Jeff Woods.

Alex, Tom, Meat, Geddy

Alex, Tom, Meat, Geddy

He was extremely accommodating to our request of a sound byte for our Sausagefest recordings. He has continued to participate for a few years now and I thought I would post this to show just for appreciation to the man.

After a first try, he himself offers to “take it from the top”. He had known us for all of 30 seconds.  He excused himself to leave to get a pen, and come back and record so he could get it right.

Important side note…became Facebook friends with Mr. Woods a week after this was done. Looking over his timeline,  I noticed a post he put up days before we met him. It read, “Integrity is how you treat people that can do nothing for you”. Good to know someone out there practices what he preaches.

 

#339: Tyler and LeBrain episode two – Monster Truck & More

1a a a a a a a a a a a a monster furiosity live

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#339: Tyler and LeBrain episode two – Monster Truck & More

Missed the last episode of Tyler and LeBrain? Click here for episode one: Nickelback, and get up to speed.

Today’s subect:  Continuing our Nickelback discussion, Tyler and I turn to a controversial comparison: Do Nickelback and Monster Truck sound the same?  Listen to what we have to say, and leave your thoughts in the comments.  Enjoy.

*NOTE: I got the name of the Fu Manchu song and album wrong.  It’s “Saturn III” from The Action Is Go.  

REVIEW: Orange Goblin – Back From the Abyss (2014 GUEST REVIEW)

NEW RELEASE – GUEST SHOT by UNCLE MEAT

GOBLIN1ORANGE GOBLIN – Back From the Abyss (2014 Candlelight)

When the mighty Orange Goblin started their musical journey, they really were more of your typical “Stoner Rock” fare.  Now to be fair, the word “typical” there refers to the overall sound and style of their music.  Right from their 1997 debut album, Frequencies From Planet Ten, it became apparent that if Orange Goblin was to be labelled “Stoner Rock”, then they were rightfully placed on the top shelf with the elite bands of that genre.  With their 2012 release, A Eulogy For The Damned, Orange Goblin dabbled sparingly with other forms of heavy rock.  The title track being the best example of that, which I feel is one of the best pieces of hard rock ever released.  But still, the album as a whole really was one big heavy metal punch to the head.  Orange Goblin’s latest musical journey  is more like a series of methodical jabs, as if the 12 songs were 12 different rounds of a barbaric boxing match, each round finding a different way of attacking your senses.  The aforementioned title track from Eulogy of the Damned showed me that Orange Goblin were capable of becoming something very different than just a “Stoner Rock” band.  Back From the Abyss sees the transformation completed.  After a couple listens I truly believe that when Orange Goblin’s career is assessed in retrospect, Goblin’s latest album will go down as their quintessential release.

The title of Orange Goblin’s 8th release refers to the gruelling two-year long tour that followed the release of Eulogy of the Damned.  It was on this tour that I had the privilege to see them live in London, Ontario last year.  They were outstanding live.  It was literally a fucking metal party.  The band seemed to enjoy the festivities as much as the crowd did.  Vocalist Ben Ward towered over the crowd like Conan and had his fellow barbarians eating out of his huge palm.  It should be noted as well, that as intimidating as Ben Ward is on stage, he was completely the opposite upon meeting him after the show.  He was a true gentleman and his overall coolness was very impressive.  Taking the experience of their first full North American tour to the studio produces Back From The Abyss. I personally was praying to the Metal Gods that Orange Goblin’s next album would continue to explore more musically diverse ways of punching you in the fucking head.   This album delivers much more than that.  This could very well be Orange Goblin’s finest hour.

“SABBATH HEX” –   The album starts off as it should with reckless Goblin abandon.  According to Ben Ward the song title came from an idea he once had to put a curse on anyone who doesn’t like Black Sabbath.  This is a great chugging riffy opener.  Starting from track one you start to realize Ben Ward is becoming more than just a growler.

“UBERMENSCH” –  Get in the car with Orange Goblin.  Fasten your seatbelts as they hit the gas pedal and tear it up.  That pretty much describes this second track.  Great riff during the verses are reminiscent of early QOTSA.  Riff is king.

“THE DEVIL’S WHIP” – This song was released weeks ago, and a lot has been written already about this being a blatant Motorhead memorial.  That is exactly what it is.  I find the track reminds me of the song “Iron Fist”, but I am sure every Motorhead fan would be reminded of a different track themselves.  From the beginning “Alright!” cue, this song is indeed a Kilmister-worthy tribute that speeds along at a break-neck pace.

“DEMON’S BLUES” – One of the greatest things about this album for me are the many different vocal approaches.  While most of this song sees Ben Ward barking out the blues in his special way, “Demon’s Blues” begins with spoken word that has a very doom metal feel.  I really like the melody-first approach on this song (which is even more apparent on the chorus), and it seems to foreshadow what is to come.

“HEAVY LIES THE CROWN” – It is official now.  Orange Goblin has progressed from being a great heavy rock band to being true songwriters.  This track is fucking awesome.  I love the lyrics, the great guitar work and the anthemic vocals.  In a recent interview, Ben Ward compared the ending chanting vocals to early Manowar and I can totally hear that.  For me, the last couple minutes of this track sounds like if Thin Lizzy had written the Game of Thrones theme song.  Best piece of music so far on the album.

“INTO THE ARMS OF MORPHEUS” –   Well, I did say “so far”.  “Into the Arms of Morpheus” starts off with a very “NIB”-like isolated bass line.  As this song marches on, Goblin launches into the molten blues they do so very well.  I love the ending of this song.  This might be the best guitar work I have ever heard from guitarist Joe Hoare.  It is becoming apparent that Orange Goblin are really challenging themselves as songwriters now.  And that theme continues with the next track as well.

“MYTHICAL KNIVES” – This pirate-themed track shows Ben Ward experimenting even more with his vocal approach.  More doom-esque tones and even parts that sound more like Gregorian monk chanting than rock vocals.  “Mythical Knives” = Melodic Power.  Nuff said.

“BLOODZILLA” – Orange Goblin warns you of what you are in store for as Ben Ward screams “Go!”  And as “Bloodzilla” began, there I was, heavily cutting in tribute to the wondrous metal before me.  I found myself wishing someone was with me while I was listening to this.  This will be an instant live staple.  I love the ending riff of this song, which repeats over and over again, and brought to mind for me a kind of heavy metal version of the ending to “Layla” by Derek and the Dominoes.

“THE ABYSS” – At times this track veers more towards Alice in Chains rather than the Sabbath-based approach that usually dominates their material.  Rearing its not so ugly head again is the doom metal sound I mentioned earlier.  In general, I am not a fan of the style of doom metal.  However I find that the sprinklings of doom throughout this album are simply a great compliment to the songs.  Once again another terrific Orange Goblin instant classic.

“TITAN” – The first of two instrumentals on the album, “Titan” may actually be my favorite piece of music on Back From The Abyss.  Very reminiscent of Iron Maiden, as well as shades of Thin Lizzy once again.  Even more surprising is that parts of this song actually remind me of Dream Theater or Queensryche.  Just another example of Orange Goblin having a lot more up their tattooed sleeve than we thought they did.

“BLOOD OF THEM” – With lyrics inspired by H.P. Lovecraft, and even more diversity in the vocal approach, “Blood of Them” comes across as an extremely heavy track both lyrically and sonically.   Love the spoken word at the beginning of the song.  Simply another great track on this album.

“THE SHADOW OVER INNSMOUTH” – The second instrumental on Back From The Abyss ends the album in style.  I found that this track reminds of “The Zoo” by the Scorpions, but with many more riffs and some off-beats.  Just a great guitar-based track which again proves that melody is becoming king to Orange Goblin.  In an interview, Ben Ward stated that they are thinking of using this track is their intro when playing live.  That would be a great choice.

In closing, Back From The Abyss impressively proves that Orange Goblin are not just a band writing heavy songs anymore.  Orange Goblin are songwriters that happen to play heavy rock and roll.  What category do you put Orange Goblin in now?  Who knows and who cares.  All you need to know is that this album is Top Shelf Rock.  Based on my previous experience seeing this band live, I can only imagine how good these songs will be to see live.  If you get the chance to see Orange Goblin live, you must do so.

5/5 stars

Ester Segarra

VIDEO: Sausagefest XIII – Part II

Thanks again Windows Movie Maker for not messing up this video. This is the last video I’ll be using Movie Maker to create. Thanks Seb for the new software.

Part II features the first ever live performance of “The Maiden Song” written by Seb, Dave and Meat.  Yours truly on second vocals.

Part I is below:

 

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VIDEO: Sausagefest XIII – Part I

Thank you Windows Movie Maker for not messing up this video.  There was so much fantastic footage that I split this up into two parts.

Enjoy Part I, featuring many talented musicians and friends.

IMG_20140706_082218

 

SAUSAGEFEST XIII prep: Starting to pack

FEST

Preparation is key!  I began picking up and packing supplies for this weekend:  SAUSAGEFEST XIII, and hopefully the best one yet.

There will be the annual Countdown.  There will be live bands.  There will be meat.  There will be Uncle Meat.

I was disappointed that nobody in town seems to carry Coleman Biowipes anymore.  I had to settle for generic.  Hopefully, they are up for the tasks at hand…

I got the hair cut, and I got a flash drive full of tunes.  Got my cooler, got some Pop Tarts, my camera and a tripod.  4 days to go….