RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #367: Greatest Hits 2 A sequel to#364: Greatest Hits
The last time we talked about greatest hits albums, I listed seven reasons that die-hard fans usually shun them. Readers came up with some of their own, and also arguments to defend greatest hits albums. I usually advise fans to buy key studio albums rather than compilations, depending on the person. Yet I still own a few hundred greatest hits albums. There have to be good reasons.
And what about you? How many do you own? What are your favourites? Why did you buy them? I asked myself those three questions too. #1. I don’t know. #2. There are many, but Double Platinum and Killers by Kiss are up there. #3. Let’s talk about that in depth…I broke it down into seven points:
1. There are some artists that I barely know. Neil Diamond or Kenny Rogers, for example. There might be a handful of songs I like, but not enough that I have heard to take the plunge and buy an actual album. Or, I know it’s an artist that I don’t want many albums from. I have a feeling that I only want one or two CDs, so one of them is usually a greatest hits. I collect a lot of music, but I can’t collect everybody. Sometimes I’ve done the research to know that I need one or two CDs and nothing more.
2. Exclusive tracks are often dangled as bait. But sometimes greatest hits albums are stuffed with exclusive radio edits and remixes that aren’t obviously credited. Kiss’ Double Platinum is one such album. Aerosmith’s Greatest Hits had a number of special edits of songs. Collectors like myself often look for such versions. They make for an enjoyable way to hear a familiar song with a slightly different slant.
3. Artwork. Younger folks might not understand why this matters, but I come from the age of physical product. With some bands, you don’t want just the music. You want all the album covers too; they are sometimes as important as any other aspect of the music. Iron Maiden is the first, obvious example. I own several Iron Maiden greatest hits discs simply because I wanted to own all the Eddies. There is a certain satisfaction in viewing them all lined up in order.
4. Historical importance. Some greatest hits albums are just historically important. Best of Van Halen Volume I for example – even if I didn’t buy it for the two new songs, I would have wanted it for the significant role it played in breaking up Van Hagar! You might want to own Their Greatest Hits by the Eagles for the fact it’s the top selling hits album of all time.
5. Sometimes, I actually do listen to greatest hits! Sure, not often by comparison. But if I’m in the car with the Mrs., she might prefer a Deep Purple greatest hits set to a 5 disc version of Made in Japan. I own ‘em, so if they’re good I may as well play ‘em. Also, If I’m going somewhere and I only have an hour or so to listen to music, a greatest hits album often scratches whatever itch I have.
6. Gateway music. My entrance into the world of Thin Lizzy was one CD (Dedication: The Very Best of).
That point is the most important one. Using a greatest hits album to delve further in the discography is such an excellent experience. My first two Deep Purple’s were greatest hits. Now my Purple collection is of a prodigious size. I don’t even know how many I have. 100 maybe? More? And it keeps growing!
My first Floyd? Echoes: The Best of Pink Floyd. My first Rush? Chronicles. First ZZ Top? Greatest Hits. See where I’m going with this? These are bands that, today, I am still collecting. I still buy whatever’s coming out. Which brings me to my last point.
7. Personal history. I’ve developed a relationship with some of those greatest hits albums over the years, even if they have been superseded by better ones. Something about the familiarity, I suppose. But even though all my first greatest hits albums were on cassette, I still went and bought CD copies of them all. In some cases, vinyl too!
What are your favourites? Does it bother you to own multiple copies of the same songs? If your favourite band came out with a greatest hits album tomorrow, would you consider buying it? Let me know!
This reissue of the fantastic debut Chickenfoot CD is a decent but imperfect repackage. The music is so good, I can’t stay mad about the double-dip. You can get this cheap if you hunt, so keep that in mind. First let’s talk about the music, before we get into the reissue.
I will go out on a limb and call this the best album Sammy Hagar had made in many years, and better than most (if not any) Van Hagar album. Part of the reason is the performances by this cast of pros (Sammy, Joe Satriani, Michael Anthony, Chad Smith), and part of the reason is solid songwriting. What’s left is youthful energy, which this band of old dudes has plenty of.
The first obvious highlight for me was the glorious return of the Van Hagar harmony vocals. Michael Anthony was responsible for a lot of that in Van Halen, and it was just a joy to hear him harmonizing with Sammy again. Close your eyes and you’d think you’re listening to some lost Halen track circa For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. Then you recognize those warm Satriani guitar tones and tricks. Finally you hear Chad Smith on the drums, making it all sound easy. This actually sounds like a real band.
Highlights: The single “Oh Yeah”, “Sexy Little Thing”, “Runnin’ Out” (definite sounds like a long lost Halen tune), “My Kinda Girl” (my kinda chorus!), and “Turnin’ Left” (which just grooves). “Bitten By The Wolf” has this bluesy Satriani-circa-Flying kind of vibe. There are no weak songs, and nothing which doesn’t fit the direction of this band. There’s no point going song by song. Each one features the stellar playing, singing and melody that you would expect for this band of pros. Satch’s tone is rich, beautiful and perfect. This is most definitely hard rock. There’s nothing too wussy about Chickenfoot. Even the ballad “Learning to Fall” has the integrity of an outtake from Flying in a Blue Dream. It’s hard not to enjoy something with Joe Satriani on guitar!
“Bitten By The Wolf”, of course, was the original bonus track on the vinyl and download versions of Chickenfoot. Now you can get it on a proper CD with this two-disc reissue. In addition you get an hour long DVD. This disc contains a couple fun music videos, interviews with each guy, and some excellent live stuff. Two things I noticed right away on the live stuff: One, Joe plays a lot more solos. Watching him play is a real treat. I’ve never seen Joe play up close on a DVD before. My God this man’s fingers move fast. Plus he’s entertaining as a showman. Two, Chad Smith is great to watch. On CD he makes it all sound easy. On DVD he makes it all look easy. This tower of a man just locks in and powers through. Awesome to watch. No wonder he is so in-demand with everybody from the Dixie Chicks on down.
Of note: There are many who do not like this album as much as I. Craig Fee from 107.5 Dave FM told me that this record was “disappointing, like seeing an all Toronto Maple Leafs NHL All-Star team, standing there in their blue jerseys.”
I only had two disappointments. One, the original CD had no booklet, only a link to download a pdf file. That remains so on this edition. I would have loved a booklet. Two, the original also had this awesome heat-sensitive packaging. The cover was almost entirely black, but when you placed your warm hand on it, pictures of the band members appeared. That packaging is not a part of this edition. Instead, the black has been replaced with white and now you can see the pictures unobscured. Two very small qualms. I still own the original CD and a vinyl copy to boot, so it’s not a big deal to me.
RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale #342: All in a Day’s Drive
Friday November 21, 2014 was a pretty nice day weather wise. There was no precipitation and the skies were clear. If you’re going to pick a day to make a drive down the 401, you couldn’t have picked a better one. Jen needed to see a doctor at the hospital in Mississauga, so off we went. [Note: don’t worry, she’s fine. This is regarding her epilepsy.] I brought music and reading materials, and kept a log of the rock:
9 am: Depart Kitchener for Brampton. Playing in the car: Deep Purple – Smoke on my Mega-Mix, a bootleg compilation CD of remixes and live tracks.
10 am: Pick up Jen’s mom in Brampton [she spent the weekend with us]. Depart for Mississauga. Playing on car stereo: Van Halen – 5150. As a “bonus track”, I tacked on the live version of “Why Can’t This Be Love” (from the music video) to the end of the playlist. Jen’s comment: “The singing on this is… (pause)…really not as good as the regular version.” She’s right.
6:30 pm: Finally arrive home after 2 1/2 hour crawl along Highway 401! The whole way was brake light city. Just a tedious, slow drive. There was no reason for it. From what I could tell, it was all caused by commuters that didn’t know how to properly merge. When somebody leaves you 5 or 6 car lengths space to merge in, take it. Don’t race further ahead to see if you can get in front of that transport truck and that guy in the Hyundai. Car music: Van Halen – Fair Warning, Diver Down, and A Different Kind of Truth. Yes, that means Jen and her mom heard a LOT of Van Halen today. And that’s fucking cool.
I will be live on the Craig Fee Show on 107.5 Dave FM this afternoon 12/01/14, around 5:20 pm Ontario time, to discuss one of the tracks included on this album. Listen live by clicking right hereto stream!
Van Halen’s first “greatest hits” compilation was historic in its fallout. The band had talked for years about putting out a “best of” set, with one disc of Dave and one disc of Sammy. That never happened but the concept continued to be discussed in the Van Halen camp, with Sammy Hagar adamantly against it. When Hagar’s friend and Van Halen’s manager Ed Lefler passed away, he was replaced by Canadian Ray Danniels, who was also handling Rush, Extreme, and King’s X. Hagar and Danniels never quite saw eye to eye and when push came to shove, Hagar refused to participate in the recording of new music for the compilation. The Van Halen camp considered this to be highly hypocritical of Sammy, since he had done just that for his own solo “greatest hits” CD, Unboxed (1994). All of this led to a tense telephone standoff with Eddie Van Halen himself, the revelation that Ed had already started working on new songs with former singer David Lee Roth, and Hagar quitting the band. (On top of all that, and unbeknownst to Hagar or Roth, was that was Van Halen were also eyeballing Gary Cherone, who Ray Danniels brought in from one of his other bands, Extreme. They had even recorded some test tracks with Mitch Malloy who ultimately turned the gig down.)
When Best Of Volume I was finally released in fall of 1996, there was so much confusion in the air that many fans really had no idea who was in Van Halen or what the hell was going on. At the Record Store, I had one guy come in and return this on the day of release, October 22, 1996.
“Yeah, I want to return this CD,” he said. “I already have these songs.”
What?! You couldn’t tell that from the title Best Of Volume I?
That’s indicative of the confusion in fandom. This guy had assumed, like many people, that Van Halen had a brand new album of songs out with David Lee Roth singing.
Another common urban myth was that there was such a thing as Best Of Volume II. People would constantly ask if we had it, when it was coming out, and sometimes even insist they had seen it before in stores. When asked when Best Of Volume II was coming out again and again, I started answering “18 years”, because that’s how long it took for them to come out with Volume I.
T-Rev wrote up a quickie review for our store newsletter. He praised the remastering job, but bemoaned that only one song was included from Van Halen II, and that there wasn’t enough Dave in general. I would agree. At the very least, a song like “Can’t Stop Loving You” should have been ditched for something else like “Everybody Wants Some!!” However, to put this into context, in 1996 that was one of Van Halen’s most recent hit singles, just over a year old. The rest of the album takes tracks from each studio record (sans Diver Down which Eddie doesn’t speak too highly of). The most notable omissions were “Hot For Teacher” (only available on the Japanese release of Best Of) and “Love Walks In” (which I can do without). Presumably there would have been more tracks on a Volume II, which never materialized. (18 years my arse!)
To me, the hits part of this disc is just preamble. The reason fans went out and bought this CD was the return of David Lee Roth on the two new singles. Nobody cared about the hits they already had. Indeed, as implied by T-Rev’s review, most of us didn’t really agree with most of the hits selected.
They stuck “Can’t Get This Stuff No More” and “Me Wise Magic”, the first new songs by the original Van Halen in over a decade, at the tail end of the CD. As fans, we were elated to hear new music that clearly hearkened back to the pre-synth, pre-1984 sound of Van Halen. Dave’s voice was lower and less powerful, but no less expressive. His delivery is pure gleeful Dave, even on these darker songs. His lyrics (which according to Roth, Eddie didn’t like) are as Diamond Dave as ever. As far as guitar goes, Eddie’s letting it, basing both songs purely on riffage. This was a pretty cool about-face from the too-commercial sounds of Balance.
Neither song was really single-worthy, but they would have made solid album cuts, had this incarnation of Van Halen continued to make an album. Of course, that didn’t happen. Best Of Volume I is, thus far, the only place you can buy them. And that means if you love original Van Halen, you need to buy this album.
For Van Hagar fans, there was the excellent newbie “Humans Being”, with its angry modern verses and bright shiny chorus. I’ve always liked the song, because of the chorus and Eddie’s guitar. The verses, not so much, but as a song it holds together as something different for Van Halen. In some ways it pointed the way forward to Van Halen 3. This is the only ‘Halen album where you can get “Humans Being”, saving you from having to buy the terrible Twister soundtrack.
(Missing is a track called “Respect The Wind” billed by Eddie & Alex Van Halen from the same soundtrack. It’s not really that good, and it’s not billed as Van Halen the band, so seek as per your own needs. Presumably, “Respect the Wind” was from the batch of music that they were working on while Sammy refused to record. See KeepsMeAlive for a review of the Twister soundtrack CD.)
Roth mentioned in his autobiography Crazy From the Heat that he hated the cover art and booklet for this. It looked devoid and sucked dry of all life. I would agree. A music video was planned but nixed. The concept was the trio of Michael Anthony and Eddie & Alex Van Halen playing on a stage, with a big screen behind them of Dave singing. Insulted, Roth refused to do it.
Of interest, if you’re lucky enough to own a first pressing of this CD, you might have a mini-rarity. There was a version with an error on it. You may own a very rare alternate mix of “Runnin’ With the Devil”, released by mistake, where the verses, chorus and solos were arranged in a different order than that of the originally released album version. Take a listen and see if you’re one of the few. That version was quickly discontinued and corrected.*
3.5/5 stars. Despite the brevity, this album doesn’t overstay the party.
*My friend at 107.5 Dave FM, Craig Fee, had this to add about the “error” mix of “Runnin’ With the Devil”:
You just solved a huge mystery for me. Something that has been bugging me for YEARS.
When I first moved here, I was listening to Dave FM one day. I heard this fucked up version of “Runnin’ With The Devil” with the “whoooooo whooooooo” part at the end edited out. I mentioned it, but Darryl didn’t do anything about it. 5 years later, we are still playing this version. It sounded like a bad edit made by an overzealous producer who was trying to do something to the song.
Until this post, I had no idea why somebody would butcher the song like that. Now I know why. The majority of the big ‘hits’ were dubbed from that CD.
I have the version I bought the day it was released. I listened to it twice. I have no idea if it’s the edited version.
Craig advised me to load both versions (Best Of and Van Halen I) into Audacity and sync them. I did and I could see right away visually that they did not match up. I hit “play” and everything was synced until around 1:15. Then, as Craig puts it, “all hell breaks loose” and the two versions completely deviate. So apparently I do have both.
The only modification I made to the tracks was to reduce the version from Van Halen in volume by 7%, so they were roughly the same.
We have a winner! Check out the big brain on Brian Zinger (AGAIN!) who nailed this one!
Here are the four tracks:
Van Halen – “Oh Pretty Woman”
Van Halen – “Little Guitars”
Van Halen – “Secrets”
Van Halen – “Jump”
And here’s my original email to Craig explaining the answer:
“Only the real fans will get this one. I thought it was real cool yesterday when you did the “five play” with “Little Guitars (intro)”. So, here’s 4 VH songs…and when you play them, fans will realize that on the albums, all songs have INSTRUMENTAL INTROS!” 1. “Intruder” 2. “Little Guitars (intro)” 3. “Cathedral” and 4. “1984”
At the conclusion of Record Store Tales, I told the story of how I earned the nickname LeBrain. It started with a contest on the Craig Fee Show (on 107.5 Dave FM) called the 4 O’Clock 4-Play which I dominated. I also sent Craig numerous 4-Plays of my own creation.
The challenge is to figure out the common thread that ties all four songs together. The theme could be anything: lyrical, musical, background trivia, artist related…and I liked to come up with unique themes.
Play the tracks in order as a listener would, and make a guess in the comments section! Be specific.
RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale #335: Musical Archaeological Discovery!
A couple weekends ago, I had a chance to dig through some old boxes looking for musical memories. I found that, and a lot more.
I discovered a complete inventory of my entire music collection, that I had made as a kid. Most of it was on cassette. There’s no date on it, but thanks to my photographic memory of musical life events, I can easily date this to within +/- a couple months. Let’s have a look and figure out when I made this inventory.
The first thing I noticed was there are 24 CD titles on this list. I received my first CD player for Christmas of 1989. That would place this list a fair bit after Christmas of ’89.
In the section for “Videos”, I only had four VHS titles at the time: Kiss, Def Leppard, Judas Priest, and Warrant. I know I received a Faith No More (You Fat Bastards) video for Christmas of ’92. So we’re well before December 1992.
Back to the CD section. The presence of the Led Zeppelin box set helps me narrow it down further. I know I received that box set for Christmas of 1990. I also remember getting Slaughter’s Stick It Live tape on December 28th of that year, and that cassette is on this list.
I distinctly recall my birthday in July 1991. I received Alice Cooper’s Hey Stoopid on cassette (thanks sis), and Van Halen’s For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge on CD (thanks Bob). Neither are on this list. Therefore, this was made sometime between Christmas of 1990, and July of ’91. Just over six months. To narrow it down as tightly as possible, I need to look for purchases that I know I made in early 1991.
In April or May of ’91, I can remember getting the new Mr. Big (Lean Into It) on cassette, and the first Raw M.E.A.T CD. Neither are on here. Most definitively however, missing on this list is David Lee Roth’s newest, A Lil’ Ain’t Enough. I know I got that for Easter of 1991. Now we’re really close. Somewhere between January to March of ’91!
I know I bought the uber-rare cassette single for Helix’s “Good to the Last Drop” really early in 1991. Snow was still on the ground, and that cassette single is not listed here. Therefore: I conclude that I created this list after Christmas 1990 or early in 1991, but probably during Christmas break 1990! I would have had the spare time to work on it during break.
Some additional observations:
1. Apparently I hadn’t yet discovered alphabetizing.
2. The dollar values printed represent approximate guesses as to retail value. I later made a revised list that replaced this with 5 star ratings, but I have not as yet found that version.
Here it is, now preserved digitally forever! And look — I only owned one CD single!* Final interesting note: Most of the items on this list are long gone. I’ve upgraded to CD on all the cassettes and only kept a handful. I have most of the vinyl, but I gave away my ’45 of the Wrestlers. I have some of the CDs, but others (Kiss, Bon Jovi, AC/DC, Van Halen, Slaughter, Maiden, Motley Crue) have long been replaced by remasters.
* Iron Maiden’s “Holy Smoke”, bought at Dr. Disc in the autumn of 1990.
KISS – Love Gun (2014 Universal Deluxe edition, originally 1977 Casablanca)
Mrs. LeBrain picked this CD up for me on Friday November 7 at the local HMV store, an adventure in itself that we will tell in a future Getting More Tale installment. Love Gun is the first ever Kiss Universal “Deluxe Edition” to be released, hopefully the first of many. You can understand why it would have been chosen first. In 2012 they already released the newly remixed Destroyer (Resurrected), and the second most beloved studio album in Kisstory may well be Love Gun.
Like other Universal deluxes, Love Gun is a 2 CD digipack, with liner notes, rare photos, a fresh remastering and bonus tracks. One of these bonus tracks is previously released. The demo “Reputation” was only released a few short months ago on the commemorative Kiss 40 compilation.
First, let’s talk about disc one, the remastered Love Gun. This sounds about as definitive as it gets. The cymbals sound nice and crisp to me, not fizzling out in the distance. I am very pleased with the sound. You can see that it is not overdriven. You can hear plenty of nuance in the instruments. I hope this is about as close as you can get to the sound of listening to Love Gun in the studio control room.
2014 remaster of “Got Love For Sale”
For a more detailed review of the original Love Gun album, you can check out my original from my 2012 Kiss review series. I rated it 5/5 stars. From that review, “The classics here are among Kiss’ all time best. ‘Shock Me’, ‘I Stole Your Love’, and ‘Love Gun’ are still played in Kiss’ set circa 2012…’Tomorrow And Tonight’ and ‘Christine Sixteen’ were on Alive II.” On the other hand I also said, “there’s a little bit of filler on here. I’m not a big fan of ‘Almost Human’ even though Gene is, and some people dislike ‘Hooligan’ although I love it. I could also take or leave ‘Got Love For Sale’.” Since writing that, I’ve changed my tune on “Got Love For Sale” which I like a lot more today.
And yes, I did have “And Then She Kissed Me” played at my wedding. I’m very proud of that fact.
The rarities here include some goodies that I have never heard before. “Much Too Soon” is a slower Beatles-esque rock ballad. Although I think it’s a pretty cool Gene Simmons experiment, it was clearly not suited to the heavier material on Love Gun. If Gene had released it on his 1978 solo album, it would have been one of the stronger tracks. The aforementioned “Reputation” is another decent tune from the Love Gun sessions. In my review for Kiss 40, I said, “You can hear that aspects of this song later made it into other Gene Simmons compositions such as ‘Radioactive’. This is one of those song titles I’d read about for years, but have never heard until now. Cool. While the song is definitely a demo, and not quite as good as most finished Kiss songs, it does boast a cool dual guitar solo and rocking piano a-la ‘Christine Sixteen’.” The third and final unreleased song is called “I Know Who You Are”, which is actually a demo version of “Living In Sin” from Gene’s solo album, with a different chorus. The verses are the same, and I think I might prefer it to the overly funky “Living In Sin”.
Other unreleased goodies on the deluxe are 1977 demos of familiar songs. “Plaster Caster” is pretty tight in terms of how the final version went. Paul’s “teaching demo” of “Love Gun” is interesting. He’s naming and recording the chords from the song as he goes, presumably to show the other members how to play it. It’s in inessential track, interesting only to fans, but cool nonetheless. This leads directly into an unreleased band demo of the song. You get to hear the evolution in motion. This band demo is all but identical to the final version, right down to the shimmering Frehley chord effects. Then there’s a great instrumental demo for “Tomorrow and Tonight”. Of the demo tracks, this is probably the greatest treasure. I love hearing the bare guitars and drums of the four classic Kiss guys just playing together as only they can. Ace Frehley’s solo is a work in progress but some of the key hooks are already in place.
Three 1977 live unreleased tracks are also quite the treat. These are from December 20 1977, in Landover Maryland. This was the second of a two night stand there. If you ever wished the Alive II album wasn’t as polished sounding as it is, then you will be happy with these three tracks. Yes, you get “Love Gun” four times, but who freakin’ cares? It’s “Love Gun”. You also get “Christine Sixteen” and Ace Frehley’s “Shock Me” complete with guitar solo. So suck on that.
The final audio bonus is a 7-minute Gene Simmons interview from 1977, from a radio station in Montreal Quebec. It’s an interesting interview, but I’d be happier if more demos were on the CD rather than an interview. However, let’s be honest — reasonable Kiss fans know that the Simmons/Van Halen demo of “Christine Sixteen” was not going to be on here. Like Eddie and Alex want that to happen.
The packaging is great, with commentary from the musicians and writers involves, and artist Ken Kelly. (These comments are re-printed from other sources.) Also included is Ken Kelly’s original concept for the cover art, which was rejected for not being as grand and large as Kiss felt they were. Finally there’s a two page essay by Joe Elliott of Def Leppard, who says he’s seen them play “Love Gun” live over 40 times, so I’d say he’s qualified. Elliott waxes nostalgic about the days when bands used to release two albums a year.
A final note: The Love Gun deluxe edition is supposed to come with a fridge magnet, but many have been opened and found to be missing the magnet. I have already contacted Universal about a replacement.
VAN HALEN – For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge(1991 Warner Bros.)
What a frustrating experience this album was for me. This was supposed “the one”; the album that would please the DLR fans and finally unite Van Halen fandom. Heavier with only one ballad, For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge was to be a statement. Edward Van Halen had said that neither 5150 nor OU812 were ever properly finished to his liking. In both cases, the band were under pressure to get out there and tour (OU812 because of the 1988 Monsters of Rock). F.U.C.K. was to be the album that he finally got to spend time on and properly finish. It was also Eddie’s first album using his new Ernie Ball guitars. I expected my brain to be blown.
And it was, or it was by the first single at least. “Poundcake” lived up to the promise. Sure, lyrically it was…well, pretty stoopid, but musically? Van Halen had some balls back! This motherfucker grooves like a slow train. As far as guitar tricks went, Eddie went all out with harmonics, taps, and…drills? The shimmery guitars were subtly different from Eddie’s classic “brown sound”, but a guitar sound is an ever-evolving quest. On this song, his rhythm guitar tones recall his friend, Brian May. With “Poundcake” as a first single, I couldn’t wait to hear the whole album.
MuchMusic came close to banning this video
I was given the CD (same copy I still have) on my birthday in ’91, by childhood friend Bob. I still remember popping the CD in for the first time that afternoon. Then a few days later it was given to me again (this time on cassette) by my Aunt and Uncle!
Momentum is maintained on the second track, “Judgement Day”, heavier than the first. The riff is anchored by a whammy bar trick, and it’s tasty. I cannot find fault with “Judgement Day”. This is what I wanted and hoped for from the new Van Halen album. The groove is still there, Alex and Mikey gelling in a relentless way. Sonically, both guys are recorded better than ever. The bass and drums on For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge are really something to behold.
Then, things slide. The awful “Spanked” is the worst song on the album, and possible contender for worst Van Hagar song yet. “All you bad bad boys, call her up on the spank line,” sings Sammy with a straight face. The sad thing is, the song would have been a fine instrumental, or basis for something with David Lee Roth. Sammy ruins it with shitty lyrics and a shitty melody. Too bad. “Runaround” is a good song on first and second listen, but you tire of it quickly. It’s bland, as is much of F.U.C.K. The problem with “going heavy” for an album is the risk of losing diversity and texture.
The 7-minute “Pleasure Dome” can barely be called a song. Organized chaos with some lead vocals, yes. But it’s barely a song. There are moments of brilliance contained within (the drums in particular) but it’s not particularly worthy. And this was the side closer.
As crappy as “Spanked” is, “In ‘N’ Out” is virtually a carbon copy. It has some sparkling guitars to go with it, but like “Spanked”, the song sucks. I can’t believe somebody didn’t say, “Guys, let’s cut the album down to 9 tracks like we used to do, and leave those two for B-sides”. “Man On a Mission” isn’t much improved. Just dull rock with dumb lyrics. Totally uninspired. It’s just four guys playing music without much direction other than, “turn it up!”
Things change up a little bit on “The Dream is Over”. This also-ran isn’t a bad tune, though nowhere near single quality for Van Halen. It’s at least a step in the right direction. It feels as if the album was in a slumber, and it has now woken up — the title is apt. And thankfully Sammy isn’t singing about girl parts for a change.
Van Halen didn’t consider “Right Now” to be a ballad, but it’s the only song with a keyboard. It’s a welcome oasis in the desert of monotonous rock. It’s a great song. I don’t think anyone can say that it hasn’t been played to death, so I don’t need to comment further. MTV awards, Pepsi, blah blah blah.
Nice suit.
“316” (named for Wolfy’s birthday 3/16/1991) is an acoustic guitar part that Eddie had been playing live for years. Later, Eddie used to play this piece for Wolfgang while still in the womb. But it’s just a brief 90 second instrumental, a segue into “Top of the World”, also a single. It took a while for me to recognize the riff. In fact, I didn’t pick up on it until I heard this song following “Jump” on the album LIVE: Right here, right now. Only then did I realize: it’s based on the outro riff from “Jump”! So they re-used that oft-forgotten riff and built a new song around it. It’s a good song, very pop rock, but a suitable album closer.
As high as this album charted (US #1), I’m convinced For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge is one of the albums responsible for the death of hard rock in 1991. Sure, a lot of people bought it. But a lot of people also didn’t like it very much. Maybe they were getting tired of the schtick, but I do know I found it really hard to proudly blast this album out of the car.
VAN HALEN (Not Van Hagar!) Coda: Can’t Get This Stuff No More
Welcome to the final installment in my latest series of reviews at mikeladano.com: an in-depth look at all the classic VAN HALEN albums, with David Lee Roth. If you missed anything, don’t fret: the complete list is right below. Dig in!
VAN HALEN – “Can’t Get This Stuff No More” / “Me Wise Magic” (1996 Warner promo singles)
Van Halen had been doing just fine, thank-you-very-much, with Sammy Hagar for a decade. There had always been rumors that they were on the verge of a split with Hagar. I remember hearing those rumors on MuchMusic in 1987, around the time Sammy had released his self-titled solo album. The rumors returned when Sammy released his Unboxed compilation in 1994. When the split did finally occur in 1996, it was explosive. Especially when Van Halen announced that they had resumed work with David Lee Roth, and two brand new songs featuring his voice would be released on the forthcoming Best Of Volume I album.
A somewhat embarrassing MTV Awards appearance by the reunited Van Halen stoked the fire. They presented an award to a stunned looking Beck, who thanked them in his speech. Dave, always the ham, made the most of the opportunity to address the crowd. Edward looks uncomfortable, keeping his distance and trying keep the subject on the “Best Male Video” award.
As predicted, the reunion was strictly temporary. A tense studio situation (with new producer Glen Ballard) produced two cuts. The first, “Can’t This Stuff No More”, was considerably darker than most of the Van Hagar tunes the band has been putting out. You can hear some quiet organ overdubs, but it is otherwise void of keyboards. Roth uses his lower voice, as he had on his previous solo album Your Filthy Little Mouth. Eddie’s guitar sounds a bit like his work on 1984, but with a much fatter tone. As a single, “Can’t Get This Stuff No More” is a bit of a disappointment. If it had accompanied a whole album of new material, it would have made an excellent album cut.
“Me Wise Magic” is the one with the catchy chorus. It too has a dark tone to it, perhaps reflective of the mood in the Van Halen camp. Roth again uses his low voice, until the chorus when he lets those patented Dave shrieks loose. They’re older, more ragged and tamed, but it’s that same Diamond Dave “charasma!” that we had missed for so long. The chorus isn’t bad, but the song doesn’t boast one of those classic guitar riffs that albums such as Women and Children First were loaded with. There’s no mistaking the player as Edward, especially come solo time, but it is undeniable that these two “new” songs lack a certain magical aura. Both would have made excellent album songs, surrounded by others of different tempos and types. As “new” compositions on a greatest hits collection of questionable intent…
3.5/5 stars
Whether you are traveller or tourist, this is the end of the ride; the series stops here. We know what happened next: Van Halen 3, inactivity, followed by years of confounding turbulence. Finally, the album A Different Kind of Truth (2012), and redemption.
1. There are some artists that I barely know. Neil Diamond or Kenny Rogers, for example. There might be a handful of songs I like, but not enough that I have heard to take the plunge and buy an actual album. Or, I know it’s an artist that I don’t want many albums from. I have a feeling that I only want one or two CDs, so one of them is usually a greatest hits. I collect a lot of music, but I can’t collect everybody. Sometimes I’ve done the research to know that I need one or two CDs and nothing more.
3. Artwork. Younger folks might not understand why this matters, but I come from the age of physical product. With some bands, you don’t want just the music. You want all the album covers too; they are sometimes as important as any other aspect of the music. Iron Maiden is the first, obvious example. I own several Iron Maiden greatest hits discs simply because I wanted to own all the Eddies. There is a certain satisfaction in viewing them all lined up in order.
That point is the most important one. Using a greatest hits album to delve further in the discography is such an excellent experience. My first two Deep Purple’s were greatest hits. Now my Purple collection is of a prodigious size. I don’t even know how many I have. 100 maybe? More? And it keeps growing!
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