Record Store Tales

Part 284: The Impact of Movies

Welcome back to the Week of Rockin’ Movies.  Today I wanted to talk about my own movie collection, because pretty much the whole thing rocks.  If you missed a previous installment, click below!

MONDAY:  House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
TUESDAY: The Devil’s Rejects (2005)
WEDNESDAY: 2010: The Year We Make Contact (1984)

RECORD STORE TALES Part 284:  The Impact of Movies

Way back, I discussed how the CD store began stocking used DVDs.  It was a slam dunk success, once the word got out.  When we had built up decent inventory,which took time, DVD sales really took off.  At first, our DVD purchases were slow.  Not enough people were selling them for us to have a large selection of movies.  In order to help maintain our stock, staff members were initially only allowed to buy one DVD per pay period.  That was to prevent us from taking all the good stuff (although some figured out ways around this if two must-haves arrived at the same time*).  Once inventory exploded, we had boxes and boxes of overstock.  We had to add a new center island to the store for the growing movie section.   Some days, we’d buy a hundred movies, but only a couple CDs.  How things had reversed!   We ended up with DVDs in our Bin O’ Bargains.  (It was in Joe‘s Bargain Bin that I acquired Incident At Loch Ness.)

This ushered in a whole new set of customers.  Now I had customers that weren’t interested in music at all.  Many people exclusively bought and sold DVDs.  I had some that were only interested in buying TV show seasons, which were expensive back then.  Now you can get a whole series for the price of what a season used to cost back then.

 

My friend and collaborator Aaron hasn’t had cable TV in a dog’s age.  Much like myself, he considers most of what’s on TV to be mindless, useless, and brain-rotting.  So he ditched his cable.

Meanwhile, I still had my cable, but my growing DVD collection was rendering it obsolete.  Once the restrictions were lifted on staff DVD purchases, my collection grew prodigiously.  I endeavored to collect complete filmographies from the directors that I liked.  I sought all the Kubricks, then everything by Sam Raimi, and Terry Gilliam.

Then one day in 2003, I decided to follow Aaron’s example.  If he could do it I could do it too, so I decided that I didn’t need the brain-rotting tube anymore.  I was hardly watching it anyway.  Rogers don’t like losing customers, the customer service rep asked me, “But what will you watch?” He didn’t get it.  I guess not too many people decide they’re not going to watch TV anymore, and this was long before Netflix.  Once I declined all his offers for deals and discounts, my cable was disconnected.

I lived happily without cable for five whole years.  Only my massive movie and music collection kept me company.  I enjoyed saving the money, and I continued to immerse myself in new movies all the time.  In fact, in the latter days of the record store, when I was miserable, I was more into movies than music.  Music didn’t bring me the joy it once had, it was a dark time for me.  That was when movies had their greatest impact on me.

Then I got a new job. Then I got married.  To a Maple Leafs fan.

One of the pre-conditions of marriage was that we were getting cable again.  Another pre-condition was that Mrs. LeBrain was to get the TV any time there was a hockey game on.  During hockey season, that’s three nights a week.  I didn’t realize that when the Leafs were (inevitably) knocked out of a playoff position, that Mrs. LeBrain was still going to watch hockey games right to the Stanley Cup.  I didn’t get that.  My movie watching time went down, and down, and down.  Eventually, I just gave up custody of the remote control.  I sat by as hockey and then reality TV sadly took over my screen.

I still have my movie collection, pared down a bit, to the 4 or 5 hundred that I love most.  I just wish I had more time to watch them!  Unfortunately, the Leafs are playing the Florida Panthers tonight.  Maybe I can schedule some movie time during the playoffs, since Toronto was eliminated last night.


* to be discussed in a future Record Store Tale…the story of Ivan.

 

Part 283: Shopping at Other Stores

RECORD STORE TALES Part 283: Shopping at Other Stores

Straight from my old journal:  This is what can happen when Record Store guys go shopping at the competition!  Keep in mind these are 2005 prices, not 2014 prices.

Date: 2005/12/12 21:34

Forgive me for praising the “competition” tonight, but I just got home from HMV.

I have no idea how it’s possible to have titles like Pink Floyd’s The Wall, Ummagumma, and Ben Harper’s double Live From Mars, all on sale at 2-for-$30. Ummagumma has a regular price tag of $46.99 on it! Yet they were selling them at 2 for $30! INSANE. I could buy three of ’em for less than it would cost to buy ONE. That is so…fucked up! So I got one of those, and A Collection Of Great Dance Songs remastered. (Strictly for the “new” version of Money.)

And then I sent an email to a co-worker:

I was at HMV tonight, and they have a CRAZY 2/$30 sale on. Check this photo
out. That’s right, Pink Floyd UMMAGUMMA remastered for $15. If you buy
one, it’s $46 bucks. If you buy two…it’s $15 each. Crazy. BUT they had
a bunch of Beatles and a few Stones as well. Double live Ben Harper, all
kinds of crazy stuff. I don’t know what you still need for yourself or even
gifts, but that kind of sale is worth taking advantage of.

Cool huh? I still have those albums too.  I kind of like that I will always have a record of the exact date and circumstances of purchase.

Picture 383
Original photo from that day

Part 282 / REVIEW: Neurotic Outsiders – Neurotic Outsiders (1996)

OUTSIDERS_0001

RECORD STORE TALES Part 282:
T-Rev, Mike, and the Neurotic Outsiders…

T-Rev called me from his store one afternoon in 1996.

“Mikey!  Have you heard this Neurotic Outsiders CD?  It fuckin’ rocks!”

I had not heard the Neurotic Outsiders CD.

It actually took T-Rev some talking to get me to buy it.  (Playing it in-store was forbidden due to the foul language contained therein.)  I knew Duff McKagan and Matt Sorum were in the band, with Steve Jones and John Taylor from Duran Duran.  I was getting pretty bored with GN’R related solo albums, and while I found this combo intriguing, I was also inundated with other new releases at the same time.  These included a new Rush studio album, a Rush tribute album, a new Scorpions, and a new King’s X.  I had plenty of new music to keep me occupied!

He persisted, T-Rev did, and I caved and bought the CD.  It only took one listen to know that he was right about the Neurotic Outsiders.  They did indeed fucking rock.  I was hooked immediately.

We played Neurotic Outsiders in the car a lot that summer.  If I was driving, Trevor would be playing air drums along with Matt Sorum.  Trev’s a drummer and he was damn good at doing Sorum’s style.  You know that rolling drum intro to “You Could be Mine”?  T-Rev had that one mastered, and there’s loads of that on Neurotic Outsiders.  “Good News” is a great example.  Trevor used to say my car had “good bass”, but he wasn’t talking about my stereo system.  He was talking about the sound he could make when playing double bass on my floor with his feet.   He could bruise his legs (snare drums) just from playing in the car.

I didn’t really drink back in those days so I was usually designated driver, which worked out really well.  Driving home from a party, Neurotic Outsiders blasting, T-Rev playing slightly tipsy but always awesome air drums next to me.   I didn’t have a CD player in that car either, which would have been my old Plymouth Sundance.  Piece of shit car.  The left driver’s side speaker was blown, making everything sound absolutely weak and lopsided.  I recorded Neurotic Outsiders to cassette for car play.  T-Rev’s modus operandi was the mix tape, whereas I chose to record entire albums.  Either way, we heard “Good News” and “Angelina” a hell of a lot that year.

Fuck, that was a good summer.

NEUROTIC OUTSIDERS – Neurotic Outsiders (1996 Maverick)

This album kind of snuck in under the radar in ’96. Guns N’ Roses was disintegrating (Slash quit in October), but Matt & Duff teamed up with Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols and John Taylor of Duran Duran to form this supergroup of sorts. Lead vocals are handled by everyone except Matt Sorum, who provides plenty of his unique double bass/snare/crash cymbol pounding. In fact if any one member dominates in this album, I’d say it’s Matt Sorum!  The other three guys all have their own songs, but Matt is the consistent common thread.  Taylor tends to handle most of the slower material, Jonesy the heavy snarky stuff, and Duff sings a couple rockers too.

Very few stinkers on this album. Lots of winners. Lyrics with loads of attitude! “The good news is / You’re dying, the bad new is / I’m alive.” (“Good News”)  Then, there’s “Jerk”:

OUTSIDERS_0006“You’re a bitch, I’m a jerk,
I don’t think that we can work,
You’re a prat, I’m a prick,
I don’t think that we will stick,
I’m a cat, you’re a chick,
I think you deserve one more lick.”

There’s a Clash cover, a deliciously noisy “Janie Jones”, but even that great song is overshadowed by the Outsiders’ originals.  Check out the opener “Nasty Ho,” one of Jonesy’s hilarious and thunderous punk songs.  And if you have any doubts as to punk rock authenticity, I think Duff McKagan is well on record on a connoisseur of fine punk rock.

“Union”, a ballad, seems to be Jonesey lamenting that the Sex Pistols were never a real united band, slagging off everyone (himself included), except his “mate, old Cookie”.  It’s a slow song but it has some bite to it.  Two John Taylor songs are two of the heavier ones:  “Always Wrong” and the smokin’ “Feelings Are Good”.  Both these songs were also featured on Taylor’s solo album Feelings Are Good and Other Lies.  (The title track was renamed “Feelings R Good”.) Best tune is “Angelina”, a fast punk rocker (today would they call this pop-punk?) with an insanely catchy chorus.

The only tunes that I could skip over are the really slow ones:  “Better Way” and “Story Of My Life”.  Yet even so, they have some charm.  They’re not bad songs at all, just completely overshadowed by all the super-fun punk rock songs.  Producer Jerry Harrison captured a raw performance, and I like that you can hear the ambiance of the room on “Story Of My Life”.

OUTSIDERS_0007

As you read in the above Record Store Tale, I was hooked immediately on Neurotic Outsiders, and that proved to be a lasting feeling.  I wanted more, and at a visit to HMV Toronto (333 Yonge) I found the CD single for “Jerk”.  It contained a “clean” version of “Jerk” (kind of pointless, but you have to at least try to get played on the radio, right?).  Most interestingly was the B-side track “Seattle Head”.  Duff was born in Seattle and had a connection with many of the artists that came from that city.  (He was also one of the last people to speak to Kurt Cobain.)  I can’t say that this song has that “Seattle sound”, it sounds like Duff McKagan to me.  But it’s also obvious why it’s a B-side; because it’s the weakest of all the songs.

There was another single, a Japanese import for “Angelina”.  This one had two more B-sides: “Spanish Ballroom” and “Planet Earth”. I would really, really, really like to have that. Amazon is asking $45. Hard to justify for two songs (although I have done things like that before).

It’s a shame Neurotic Outsiders never made a second album. But maybe not — maybe a second album would have tarnished my memories. As it stands, it is just a one-off and will likely remain so, but it is also an album I still listen to 18 years later.

5/5 stars, and one middle finger!

Part 281: People of Walmart

RECORD STORE TALES Part 281:  People of Walmart

You know what I really hated?  (No, really this time!)  Customers who went out of their way to tell us that Walmart or Future Shop or Best Buy had something cheaper.  Much of the time, the customer wasn’t looking for a better deal on a CD.  They just seemed to relish letting me know that somebody else in town had a cheaper price.  Most of the time, I couldn’t have matched a rival’s prices anyway.  Big box stores’ prices were often below our cost, because of the sheer quantities they purchased.  Or, they sold a CD below their cost as a “loss leader” – getting somebody in the store to buy the new Backstreet Boys and taking a loss on it in hopes that they also buy other stuff.

I remember one obnoxious lady, in the store with her three kids.

“Do you know that Walmart has your Backstreet Boys CD there for $3 less than you have it?  HAH!”

Really?  You needed to throw that “HAH!” there at the end?

BINGO

Play with friends!

The truth was, I couldn’t have cared less.  We had a pricing structure that allowed us to be competitive with other record stores.  Walmart have it for $3 less?  Then buy it at Walmart.  I’m not going to be able to compete with them on the price of the new Backstreet Boys CD.  Also, those big release sales were generally just for the first few days of release.  By the weekend, their prices would be closer to ours.

Essentially we only carried new stock so we’d have those titles when customers asked for them.  We made all the money on the used stock and accessories.  If a customer came into my store and bought the new Backstreet Boys, great.  If they came into the store looking for the new Backstreet Boys but also bought two or three used CDs with it, then that’s what we were aiming for.  Sometimes we tried the “hard sell” at the cash register.  “Now don’t forget to stock up on blank CDs and CD cleaner while you’re here!  We have this CD cleaner for $5.99.”

You want cheap new releases?  Great!  Who doesn’t?  If that’s what you’re after then by all means, go to Walmart.  But if you wanted fair prices, lots of used CD selection instead of all the new releases, knowledgeable staff and a more personal touch than Walmart?  Come to us.  Put your name on a waiting list for a used copy of the new Backstreet Boys.  When it comes in, it’ll be cheaper than Walmart’s new copies.  As an added bonus you don’t have to look at the “People of Walmart” or be treated to their impersonal style.  Not good enough?  Then support Walmart and big megacorporations.  No skin off my sack!

Part 280: Record Store Gallery III – Furry Friends

RECORD STORE TALES Part 280:  Record Store Gallery III – Furry Friends

I’m a sucker for furry friends.  Who isn’t?  Maybe you’re a cat person, maybe you’re a dog person, or something else!  I mentioned a few weeks ago that Kitchener has a high population of Miniature Schnauzers, and the Ladano clan have owned quite a few of those.

This first picture is kind of a sad one.  The year is 2000, and that’s me and my first puppy, Crystal aka Gozer.  (That’s what happens when you let my dad name animals.)  Crystal was a great little friend but very sick.  She went blind in ’94 and had all kinds of health issues.  This picture of us is the last photo taken of her.   I remember the day we had to put her down, I had to work an afternoon shift at T-Rev’s store.  T-Rev was out of town building a new store, and I was filling in for him as I occasionally did.  It was not the happiest shift to work.

GozerMike

However life goes on and a year later we got Ani!  Ani can be a bad little puppy sometimes, but she’s been my best furry friend for a long time now.  Unfortunately Ani suffers from a lot of the same health issues that Crystal did.  However she’s been a resilient little Schnauzer and has outlived her life expectancy by numerous years already.  And seemingly happily too.  Which is the main thing.

I brought Ani into the store one afternoon when I was off.  She was so good, a little scared though.  But she stayed quiet and didn’t try to escape, which she often does!  Customers would occasionally bring their dogs into the store, and I never had a problem with it.  Nobody pooped or peed on the floor when I was there.

Lotsa Schnauzers

Finally, I bought my own place and got this guy to go with it.  This is Zoboomafoo, a leaping lemur from a hit Canadian kid’s TV show.  It was on every morning before work and I started getting obsessed with it.  One of our store managers, a girl who worked in Cambridge, spotted a Zoboomafoo puppet at the Cinema One store there.  They only had one, and both of us wanted it!  It was a race to see who could get it first.  Needless to say, I won!

zoboomafoo

Part 279: Record Store Gallery Deux

RECORD STORE TALES Part 279:  Record Store Gallery Deux

I found another whack of old photos going back to the record store days.  Allow me to take you on a guided tour!

Gallery #1:  This would have been 2002.  The tragus was the most painful piercing I experienced.  It was the only time that somebody said, “he’s turning white, get him some juice to drink.”  The piercer was my friend Lois who works at Stigmata in Guelph.  She was apprenticing, with me as a test subject.  She even gave me the labret stud that they pierced it with, so the experience was free!  Note that Marillion shirt, and my then-sveldt shape!

Gallery #2:  A variety of sushi and fancy dinners with our Niagara Falls store owner Lemon Kurri Klopek, Guinness’ Book alumnus Sweet Pepper Klopek, the British piercer Sarge, and the mysterious man known only as Mr. Lebowski.

I look like a goth Leprechaun.

Gallery #3:  New arrivals! My birthday 2004! The Paul Stanley interview picture disc was from a friend in York, England named Kim. The Marillion singles were a birthday gift from a guy in France named Charly. And the Marillion Marbles deluxe edition was a gift for me, from me, that happened to arrive at the right time!

 

Last Words:  I love that this photo gallery contains three completely different facial hair styles:  A simple goatee, my Ian Paice mutton chops, and finally a full beard.  Cool!

Part 278: The Return of Dan Dan the Box Set Man

RECORD STORE TALES Part 278:  The Return of Dan Dan the Box Set Man

Astute LeBrain readers may recall that one of my customers, Dan aka “Box Set Man”, always had cool stuff in his collection.  It was he that gave me an original Ritchie Blackmore photo from a private collection in Part 168: The Constipated Ritchie Blackmore.  In January 2005 he appeared at my door once again to sell me some goodies.  While I did not record everything Dan sold to me that day, I did take note of the five that I was going to add to my personal collection!

Please excuse me if I sounded a little over excited.  I always tried to journal honestly!

Date: 2005/01/11 21:43

WOW.

HOLY SHIT.

Oh God oh God oh God!

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE AMAZING ITEMS THAT CAME INTO WORK TODAY.  I am going to have an expensive January.  I am going to MISS this part of my job. [I had applied to several jobs.]

Here’s the complete list of cool shit that I need to buy:

1. DVD – Harold & Kumar.  We got in two used copies already!  [It was only released the week before, on Jan 4.]

2. CDs – Deep Purple 25th Annivesary box set–JAPANESE IMPORT BABY!  Not much on there that I “need” but it does have all three edits of “Burn”, in fact it looks to have every single edit from every 7″.  Also has two mono mixes.  Must have.

3. CD – Jethro Tull – Bursting Out-Live (remastered)

4. CD – Jethro Tull – Jethro Tull Christmas Album

5. CD – Queen – On Fire: Live At The Hollywood Bowl

One cool thing is that I still have all five of these items, all still in the same condition that I found them in!  Thanks Dan, wherever you may be….

Part 277.5: Klassik Kwote – The Dandy Douche Strikes Back

RECORD STORE TALES Part 277.5:
Klassik Kwote – The Dandy Douche Strikes Back

SIXTY SIXI’m a pretty big Led Zeppelin fan, having bought all their albums more than once (and at least once more) over the years.  When this Robert Plant CD came out in November 2003, it was high on my radar.  I didn’t own any Plant solo albums (beyond The Honeydrippers), but wanted something of his in my collection.  This compilation of hits and rarities was perfect for my needs.

I was listening to it in the store one afternoon when Dandy sauntered in.  Always eager to criticize my musical selections on any given day, he had this to say about Robert Plant’s Sixty Six to Timbuktu:

“I was talking to my dad about why Led Zeppelin sucked,” he said.  “Now I know.  It’s not Led Zeppelin that sucked, it was just Robert Plant all along.”

Thoughts?  Weigh in below with a comment!

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Part 277: Sales Tax

RECORD STORE TALES Part 277:  Sales Tax

Early September.  Our stores were flooded with students new and returning.  This is an exciting time for many.  For the students, it’s another exciting year at one of our local colleges or universities.  For me, it was meeting and hopefully keeping new customers.  Sometimes though, there were some customers that were just never meant to be.

I remember ringing in one used CD for a customer.  He was a young guy, a new student in town.  If you’ve ever been a young student (Lord knows I once was) sometimes you run into those that “know it all”.  I was one of those, too.  This guy was one as well.

I rang in his CD sale.

“That comes to $13.79 please,” I said as the computer calculated the Provincial Sales Tax and the Goods & Services Tax.   Some, such as people with native status cards, are exempt from PST.  Most were not and had to pay the full (then) 15% tax.  Yeah, it’s a lot.  We Canadians pay a lot of sales tax.

“Is there tax on this?” the customer asked.

“Yeah unfortunately,” I responded.

“That’s wrong,” he answered abruptly.

Not understanding his full meaning I responded sympathetically, “Yeah, I know, but what can you do.  The government’s going to take their part.”

“No, I mean that’s wrong, that’s not correct.  You can’t charge tax on a used CD.”

Hooboy.  I don’t know where this guy came from, but he’d obviously never bought a used CD before.  I tried to explain, as a line began to form behind him.

“We have to charge tax on a used CD, because the government’s going to collect it from us whether we want it or not,” I said.  “We’ve been selling used CDs in this province for over five years now, and reporting it to Revenue Canada.  Believe me, if we didn’t they’d be in here pretty quick with a nice audit.”

He appeared stubbornly stumped.  Not understanding the concept of sales tax applied to the end-user, he repeated “That’s not right.  A used CD isn’t the same as a used car.  You can’t charge sales tax on a used CD.”

At this point I didn’t have much else left to add.  “Well, you can certainly check this out for yourself, but every used CD store here in town charges PST and GST on every used CD they sell.”  I fibbed slightly; there’s a store in uptown Waterloo called the Orange Monkey that seemed semi-legit at best.  They had no cash register, no debit machine, and charged no tax on anything in their store.  I don’t know how they did it.  Leaving them out of the equation, I continued.  “Every used CD store I’ve been to in this province has charged me sales tax on every CD.”

“This is really irregular,” he said frustratingly as he finally paid for his CD.

It might be irregular, but all used CD stores in this province still charge sales tax on used goods.  That’s a fact Jack!

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Part 276: Character Study – HH and Rasputin

RECORD STORE TALES Part 276:  Character Study – HH and Rasputin

HH (aka “Hobbit”) and Rasputin were regulars.  They came to T-Rev’s store first, always selling, never buying.  HH was known for her outrageous makeup.  Usually the lipstick started somewhere below the nose and went down to the chin.  Trevor used to say, “She looks like that woman from David Lee Roth’s ‘Just A Gigolo’ video!  Remember her?”

“DAVID! DAVID!  MY KIDS WILL DEFINITELY KILL ME IF YOU DON’T SIGN THESE PICTURES FOR THEM!”

That’s kind of how she looked.  Very close.  In the summer, HH wore these short skirts that were just way too little clothing.  T-Rev had to deal with her more often than I did.  I don’t know how he didn’t claw his own eyes out.  T-Rev tells me that once, HH pulled up to his store riding a little banana seat bike, wearing that short skirt.  He remembers her so clearly.  “Yeah!   The ‘hobbit’, the ripped nylons and the short skirt with her ass hanging out…yuck.  She looked like she had a Botox stroke in her face!” he says.

Rasputin, unsurprisingly, looked a lot like Grigori Rasputin, the famous “mad monk” of Russian history.  All he lacked was the long hair.  His long trench coat even remotely resembled Rasputin’s long monk robes.  T-Rev nicknamed him Rasputin, or Razzy for short.  He had a lazy eye.

They would come in, selling crappy scratched used CDs.  HH would often say she was selling them for her son.  That meant she had procreated, a scary thought in itself.  She never specifically identified Razzy as the father, but that certainly could have been the case.  Razzy never spoke.  When we would make an offer on the CDs, HH would turn to Razzy.  Razzy would either nod yes, or shake his head no.  Then they’d try to haggle.  Their CDs were rarely worth haggling over.  But haggle they did.  According to Trevor, “I remember her always haggling for a better price out of me…like ‘this CD is really popular right now with the kids’.  Fuck you!”

Those summers of HH and Razzy are long gone, now. I wonder if Razzy ever shaved off that black beard.   I wonder if she’s still riding that bike in her skirt.  I may never know…I don’t really want to know.