RECORD STORE TALES Part 305: The Return of the Wiseman
Seeing Wiseman at Sausagefest XIII brought back a flood of memories. Some I can share, some I definitely cannot! I didn’t think I’d ever see the cat again, but it truly is a small world after all.
He was a party animal, that guy, and presumably he still is. Nice guy, smart too, but when he tied one on, he didn’t do it in half-measures. Partying for him was the full Monty. So here are two things I remembered about the guy:
1.Bacontinis. Like a Martini, but with bacon instead of olives. Count on Wiseman to try something like this, years and years before the current bacon trends. Now people are trying bacon in everything, thanks to people like Epic Meal Time. Wiseman was way ahead of the times when it came to alcoholic beverages.
2. Christmas. I was scheduled to work the evening shift on December 23, with Wiseman. He initially wanted the night off, because he had a “Christmas party” to attend. Getting the night off wasn’t possible due to scheduling, so he came to his shift fully prepared to party afterwards. He packed everything he needed, so he could go straight to the party afterwards.
For Wiseman, these crucial party supplies included a sleeping bag, copious amounts of liquor, a hose, and a funnel. I kid you not. Like I said, Wiseman didn’t do parties in half-measures.
I was glad to see at Sausagefest XIII that Wiseman hasn’t killed himself yet. It’s comforting to know he’s still out there, bringing the party wherever he goes.
Thanks again Windows Movie Maker for not messing up this video. This is the last video I’ll be using Movie Maker to create. Thanks Seb for the new software.
Part II features the first ever live performance of “The Maiden Song” written by Seb, Dave and Meat. Yours truly on second vocals.
Sausagefest prep continues. Today I scored a minor victory: Mrs. LeBrain found Coleman Biowipes at the Cambridge Walmart!
As I continue to pack, I come down to the really hard decisions. Such as, which T-shirts shall I bring? Below are a small selection. (Einstein glows in the dark!)
Preparation is key! I began picking up and packing supplies for this weekend: SAUSAGEFEST XIII, and hopefully the best one yet.
There will be the annual Countdown. There will be live bands. There will be meat. There will be Uncle Meat.
I was disappointed that nobody in town seems to carry Coleman Biowipes anymore. I had to settle for generic. Hopefully, they are up for the tasks at hand…
I got the hair cut, and I got a flash drive full of tunes. Got my cooler, got some Pop Tarts, my camera and a tripod. 4 days to go….
There were some pretty awesome picks this year. I have to give Scottie props for “Coming Home” by Iron Maiden, from the excellent Final Frontier album. I found some things a bit surprising, such as the overplayed-on-radio “Black Betty” by Ram Jam, placing so high.
“Thick As A Brick” was the live version, so just over 10 minutes. Other long bombers included all of “Supper’s Ready” by Genesis, which resulted in a tirade by Phil for just as long, about how much he thinks it sucks! (And he’s an old-school Marillion fan…surprising.) And of course there were several Maiden tunes that clock in well over 5 minutes.
For your edification, here is the official Sausagefest XII Countdown: 75 tracks, plus 35 tributes. One tribute for each person that submitted a list! 110 songs over one weekend! Awesome.
Sausagefest is an annual all-dude, all-meat, countdown of rock. Five of us from the old Record Store attended! This year, there were 110 songs (75 countdowns plus 35 “tributes”). #1 was Max Webster — “Toronto Tontos”. Other artists who made the countdown included Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Kiss, Queens of the Stone Age, Tool, Rush, and Tenacious D among others. For the history of this event, check out Record Store Tales Part 30.
Thanks to Jeff Woods and Craig Fee for your contributions — above and beyond the call of duty!
And of course, thanks to Tom our host, and Uncle Meat, Seb and Dr. Dave for the music.
Uncle Meat will be providing me with the full track list. Stay tuned for that post, too!
COLEMAN BIOWIPES
$3.99 for resealable package of 30
July 5-6 2013 was the weekend: the annual all-rock, all dude Countdown event known as SAUSAGEFEST. This particular installment being Sausagefest XII. As discussed in Record Store Tales Part 30, and as seen in last year’s video, I suffer from a certain level of anxiety regarding the restroom arrangements. As in, there aren’t any. And I’m not as young as I once was, and the plumbing doesn’t always work as well as it used to when I was in my 20’s.
To the rescue came Biowipes, by Coleman! Not only can you shit with a clean bottom, but also a clean conscience: the Biowipes completely biodegrade in just 21 days. (Less I’m sure if you ate the bacon-wrapped jalapenos that we consumed.)
The Biowipes are large enough (20 x 25 cm) and tough enough to handle whatever you need to do. There are 30 of these moistened towelettes in each package, by my estimation and usage, probably enough to get you through 10 days in the woods.
6/5 stars
Seen below: Some of the many reasons these wipes were necessary!
Music fans love lists. Maybe it’s the Ten Best Bass Lines of the 1990’s or a list of the songs you wish you lost your virginity to. I have always been a lists guy as the whole Sausagefest Top 100 thing would attest to. So here is yet another list. The albums listed below are not my favorite albums of all time, even though many of my favorites are included. The point of this list is to possibly introduce to, or maybe even remind, this blog’s readers of 30 albums that I think need to be heard. Maybe an album that in my opinion was under-appreciated. Perhaps even an album that inspired me in some way. Anyways, here are 30 albums that Uncle Meat wants you to visit … or re-visit. They are in alphabetical by album title. Enjoy
A EULOGY FOR THE DAMNED – ORANGE GOBLIN (2012)
I could have easily listed several other Orange Goblin albums here, but their latest album is an absolutely killer album. Almost fusing some Black Crowes into their brand of Metal, these British stoner-rockers put out maybe the best Metal album of 2012. And considering that there are only 3 albums on this whole list that were released before the year 2000, it feels good to actually get some new content in here. The album ends with the title track, which almost plays out like its own Rock N’ Roll Western. The band finally tours Canada for the first time coming up in spring of 2013. As the late Billy Red Lyons used to say, “Don’t ya dare miss it!”
ACT III – DEATH ANGEL (1990)
Death Angel’s first two albums are pretty sloppy, sound-wise and in song structure. Some very heavy moments, but at times it just sounds annoying. On their third release, Max Norman (Megadeth) got his hands on them and it resulted in a polished sound and the best album of their career. Gone were the high-pitched shrieks of singer Mark Osegueda that littered their first two records. It really does seem that the band simply matured. One of the best Metal albums of the 90’s indeed. Definitely among the most progressive metal albums I can think of. A must-have album for every true Metal fan.
ARGUS – WISHBONE ASH (1972)
It is fair to say that Iron Maiden and Thin Lizzy would never have the musical identity they have, if it wasn’t for Wishbone Ash. Innovators in twin- lead guitar harmonization, this band never really got its due. Interestingly enough, the sound engineer on this record is none other than Martin Birch. Coincidence? Meat thinks not. I remember this album sitting in front of my Dad’s stereo for years when I was very young, and then seeing Star Wars and thinking that Darth Vader looked a lot like the guy on the cover of Argus. Check this album out and discover a part of where it all came from. When you listen to the beginning of the song-clip included here, “Throw Down the Sword”, think “To Live is to Die” by Metallica. Sounds like Lars and the boys were paying attention as well.
ARGYBARGY – SQUEEZE (1980)
Think The Beatles meets The Clash. The first two songs on this album are both stellar pop moments. The melodies are McArtney-esque, and that is truly saying something. “Pulling Mussels From a Shell” is pure song-writing genius. “Another Nail in my Heart” is one of my favorite songs of all time. Check out the incredible guitar solo in this song. Funny enough, like the 2 previous albums listed, this was the band’s third album. Maybe a trend is happening here.
BIG WORLD – JOE JACKSON (1986)
For Joe Jackson’s 8th release, he decided to go all out. An original studio album, recorded live in front of a New York City audience who were told to be silent throughout. Capturing the excitement and spontaneity of a live performance, in which absolutely no post-recording mixing or overdubbing was done, this record is ambitious as it sounds. It is all here. You get Jazz, Pop, Punk and everything in between. Jackson possesses one of the classic all-time voices. When this double-album was released, it contained three sides of music, leaving the fourth side blank. A landmark recording.
BLUE – JONI MITCHELL (1971)
This album came in at Number 30 on Rolling Stone’s Top 500 Albums of All-Time chart, the highest placing for any female artist. So why is this album on this list? Honestly because I still believe this album is truly under-appreciated. Too many people do not realize how great this album is. Simply, some of the best lyrics of all time are here. If this album was any more personal it would contain a video of Joni Mitchell going to the bathroom. Listen to this front to back when you want to feel like someone understands your pain. A truly cathartic experience, when she played this album originally to Kris Kristofferson he was reported to respond, “Joni… You really should keep some of that to yourself”. I am glad she didn’t take heed of his advice.
DOGMAN – KING’S X (1994)
It seems as soon as Brendan O’Brien (Pearl Jam/STP/Black Crowes) got his hands on King’s X, the band’s sound fattened up. Thick, lush and pounding would be a good overall description of the sound on this album. The songs are great too. I saw King’s X at the legendary El Mocambo in Toronto and was standing literally beside Dimebag Darrell and the rest of Pantera. While I love almost every song on this album, the title track is an absolute killer. When the first Woodstock concert in 25 years began, it was King’s X who took the stage to kick it all off. Check out this live performance from the old Jon Stewart show from back in the day and crank it. One of my favorite youtube videos ever.
DUKE ELLINGTON & JOHN COLTRANE – DUKE ELLINGTON & JOHN COLTRANE (1962)
This might be my favorite jazz album of all time. Duke was 63 and Trane was 36 when this album was recorded. With a running time of 35:05 this album is short and oh so very sweet. Ellington’s “In a Sentimental Mood” starts this album off and it never lets up. “Big Nick” is just a wonderfully happy shuffle. True story: I once got so fed up with Metal that I became a Jazzatarian for a few months, listening to nothing but old school Jazz. I started with John Coltrane and went from there. I never did find a jazz artist after him that I enjoy more.
EL CORAZON – STEVE EARLE (1997)
Simply put, this album is easily in my Top 3 albums of all time, of any genre. True storytelling at its finest, El Corazon is a complete masterpiece. It seems that sobriety allowed Steve Earle to realize how great of a songwriter he really is and on this album he branches out and removes any constraints of style. Of all the 30 records included on this list, this is the one I am not asking you to check out, but I am TELLING you to check out. Comparing the laid-back intensity of “Christmas in Washington” to the sheer power of “Here I Am” truly makes you appreciate the diversity of this record. Steve Earle is THE man. A lifetime Bro-mance going on here.
HEAD HUNTERS – HERBIE HANCOCK (1973)
Quite possibly the greatest jazz fusion record ever recorded. This record is a funk buffet. Only 4 songs and all of them are great. The YouTube clip here of “Watermelon Man” is the shortest song on the album, and is as original as it is velvety-smooth. I find it hard not to do some sort of jig when this I hear this song. “Chameleon”, “Sly” and “Vein Melter”complete one of the most influential jazz albums of all time. Half of this album made 2012’s SausageFest countdown. I suspect the other half will not be far behind.
A treat for you boys & girls today! A guest shot, a vintage concert review, and a significant one at that. Remember when Metallica was just an opening act for mediocre bands? Meat does. And he’s back to tell you the story. Enjoy the first guest shot of 2013, by Meat!
W.A.S.P. w/ METALLICA and ARMORED SAINT – January 19, 1985
By Meat
I was lucky at a young age to have the opportunity to see some great concerts. The first concert of my life was at The Center in the Square in Kitchener, Ontario. It was The Monks (remember “Drugs in my Pocket”?) and I went with my childhood friend, Scott Hunter, and his mother. I also saw the almighty Black Sabbath play the Kitchener Memorial Auditorium, three days before my 12th birthday, on the Mob Rules tour on November 19, 1981. I saw Triumph on the Allied Forces tour play the Center in the Square, with my father not long after that. But really my early concert experiences were mostly, and most memorably, with the aforementioned Scott Hunter. I believe it was his uncle who had connections with a concert promotion at the time called CPI. He would leave free tickets at Will Call for us at Maple Leaf Gardens or wherever the show was. We saw the last Kiss tour with makeup at the time (Creatures of the Night tour) on January 14, 1983 with The Headpins opening. Also saw the first ever Kiss tour without makeup (Lick it Up tour) on March 15, 1984 with Accept as the opening act. As well as Motley Crue on the Shout at the Devil tour on June 10, 1984, at what is now the Ricoh Coliseum, also with Accept as support. Many of these shows are quite memorable and monumental, but none so much as the first time I saw Metallica live.
I remember the first time Scott and I heard Metallica. We would have a sleepover at his place every Friday night specifically because Toronto radio station Q107 had their “Midnight Metal Hour” on that night. We would have first heard Metallica (“Seek and Destroy”) either late 1982 or early 1983, before Kill ‘Em All was even released. Obviously it was an instant shot of Metal Up Our Ass! Kill ‘Em All was released on vinyl and cassette on July 25, 1983. I specifically remember (but not exactly when) walking into a record store downtown Kitchener called Records on Wheels and buying that album, Anthrax’s Fistful of Metal and Van Halen’s 1984 on vinyl, all during the same visit. I also remember buying Metallica’s second album, Ride the Lightning, the day it was released. Thanks to the World Wide Web, I know now that date was July 27, 1984. Starting grade ten that September, I was pushing Metallica on anyone that would be open to it at my high school. There were a very select few of us who were die-hards and would have Sony Walkmans stuck to our heads at every opportunity possible. Now I cannot recall if we got free tickets for this particular show, but I do remember how pumped I was when I knew I was gonna see Metallica live.
The bill was as follows: Armored Saint (with Anthrax’s John Bush on vocals), Metallica and W.A.S.P. Yes you read that right. Metallica was opening up for W.A.S.P. I do know that further along on the tour, Metallica and W.A.S.P. would trade headlining sets due to the obvious buzz around Metallica at the time. Here is a picture of an actual ticket stub of this show. Note the price ($15.00) and Armored Saint being spelled wrong on the ticket.
One thing I will add before I go on. Of all the concerts and bands I have seen multiple times live, it is kinda strange I only saw Metallica live twice ever. One of the reasons for this is quite obviously that after their album Load (otherwise known as Mighty Load of Shit), I never really had a great interest in seeing the band live again. But it is worthwhile noting that I have seen Metallica live twice and BOTH TIMES they were opening for someone else. (The second time being the strange bill of The Black Crowes / Warrant / Metallica / Aerosmith on June 29, 1990 at CNE Exhibition Stadium in Toronto) Again, note the ticket price for this. This was before The Eagles ruined ticket prices for all acts with the ridiculous prices for their shows. To quote “The Dude” I hate the fuckin’ Eagles.
So there we were, January 19th 1985 standing in line in front of the late great Toronto concert venue named The Concert Hall. It was freezing cold out, and windy too. So since this was a General Admission event, standing in line braving at least -15 Celsius weather, you can imagine how cold and bitchy people were. I recall the rush of metalheads being ushered quickly into the venue. The second I got in there I went straight for the merch booth and bought a Ride the Lightning tour shirt for me and a high school friend named Joe DeLeo. After that, like seemingly everybody, I had to take a wicked piss. After doing that, I was horrified when I tried to zip my probably really tight jeans back up, and couldn’t because my hands were numb from the cold. My embarrassed horror turned to laughter as I turned my head to see dozens of much older and much larger long-haired headbangers all having the same problem. Only in Canada I guess eh?
Sometime later, Armored Saint took the stage. I remember them being great and how loud it was in there. They were received well and that venue was filling up. While enjoying their set my buddy Scott gets my attention and points to the much-shorter person beside me. Immediately I recognized him as Russell Dwarf from the Toronto band Killer Dwarfs. Their name was very apropos considering this band consisted of nothing but short dudes with long hair. I can only imagine how this band got together. Wonder if an ad went out that said. “Metal musicians needed. Must not be over 5 foot 6 inches tall and have long hair”. I loved that first album. If you don’t know of them, here is their first single and video.
It was time for the Mighty Metallica. They started out with the first track off Ride The Lightning, the classic riff-monster “Fight Fire With Fire”. At this point I was probably about mid-way to the stage in a sea of metalheads. This was before the days of the “moshpit”. This was more of a Hair Swarm packed with long-haired sardines covered in denim and leather. It would have been about half-way through the show that I wormed my way to the front of the stage. This was no easy task as I am sure you can imagine, however being only 15 and much smaller than the masses (with the exception of the Killer Dwarfs of course), there I was literally feet from what would become the best-selling metal band of all-time. This brings me to a memory I will cherish forever. The seemingly monstrous Cliff Burton was right in front of me. I reached out and had in my hand, the bottom leg of his ragged bell-bottom jeans. He tried to kick me in the face, and thankfully missed. Can’t blame him either for trying to kick my head off, and honestly it was the first thing I thought of when said legend died in a bus accident a year and a half later in Sweden on September 27, 1986. R.I.P. Clifford Lee Burton. Check out this YouTube audio clip I found of Metallica playing “Seek and Destroy” from this exact show. Gotta love YouTube.
Check out this set list of the show the next night in Buffalo at some place called the Salty Dog Saloon. (I couldn’t find the Toronto set list online but I am sure it is identical)
“Fight Fire With Fire”
“Ride the Lightning”
“Phantom Lord”
“(Anethesia) Pulling Teeth”
“For Whom the Bell Tolls”
“No Remorse”
“The Call of Ktulu”
“Seek & Destroy”
“Whiplash”
Encores:
“Creeping Death”
Guitar solo
“Am I Evil?”
“Motorbreath”
Which brings me to winding down this novel of a concert review. How could W.A.S.P. possibly follow Metallica? Well, I do remember chants of “you suck”. I remember that the front was nowhere near as packed as it was for Metallica. Maybe Blackie thought he could follow them by drinking fake blood out of a skull (which he did). Here is a quote from Mr. Blackie Lawless comparing separate tours with both Slayer and Metallica and musing about this particular tour.
Blackie: I’ll tell you what was worse – us and Metallica. It was our first or second U.S. tour. It was us, Metallica, and Armored Saint. When they (Slayer) went out with us, they were still an up n’ coming band, didn’t have a lot of fans, so there was a pocket of division every night. With Metallica, I kid you not, it was like an invisible line was drawn right down the middle of the room, and half was theirs and half was ours. It didn’t matter what we were doing on stage. It looked like two opposing armies. Sometimes we just stopped what we were doing and watched. It was a war.
I realize that the merit of music is subjective and it is all in the Ear Of The Beholder. But lets face it. W.A.S.P. really does kinda suck. Some good moments but really not much to speak of. During their set myself and others that with us were just kind of mulling about as most others were really. It was during this time that a guy we were with named Kevin B. (nicknamed Little Dude) said that he saw Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson leaving out a side door during their set. Now to give some perspective on this, this person was a known bull-shitter. None of us believed him. True story: Kevin years later had trans-gender surgery and now is known as Treva. But anyways, we shrugged this off as yet another lie from Little Dude. It was months later reading a Blackie Lawless interview in Circus magazine that I read this quote. “Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson were actually at one of our shows in Toronto last year…. But they were not there to see us.” A classic example of the Little Dude who cried wolf.
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