Getting More Tale #433.5 presents: A worldwide online event! THE TOP 15 ON THE 15th – Guest shot by Uncle Meat
This is an event spanning many sites and writers in the World Wide Web. I will link to as many as possible; my own Top 15 can be found here. A few months ago, the challenge was thrown down to all comers: List your top 15 albums of all time! The date September 15 was chosen for the deadline.
Uncle Meat laboured hard on his Top 15, eventually whittling it down from a list of 31 great records*. Without any commentary, here they are. His only requirement: No live albums.
15.Rust in Peace – Megadeth
14. Screaming For Vengeance – Judas Priest
13.Little Earthquakes – Tori Amos
12.Close to the Edge – Yes
11.Consolers of the Lonely – The Raconteurs
10.Clutching at Straws – Marillion
9.Reign in Blood – Slayer
8.Operation: Mindcrime – Queensryche
7.Whale Music – The Rheostatics
6.Misplaced Childhood – Marillion
5.Moving Pictures – Rush
4.Roxy and Elsewhere – Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention
3. Pet Sounds – The Beach Boys
2.Hemispheres – Rush
1.El Corazón – Steve Earle
* For shits and giggles, here are the rest of The Meat’s albums that didn’t make the final cut.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #422: Sausagefest 2015 – The Complete Countdown
The annual trek to Sausagefest is centred upon the always epic Countdown. There were many misadventures on the way to the Countdown, and after. While I am sworn to abide by the credo “What happens at Sausagefest stays at Sausagefest,” I am also bound by my own nature as a storyteller. Therefore, I can share with you a number of brief tidbits, hints, and insinuations.
Yes founder Chris Squire died only days before the Sausagefest countdown. It was too late to include a tribute a Squire tribute into the countdown itself, so Tom and Uncle Meat sequenced about an hour of Squire’s best music to precede the actual countdown. This was a promising hour, but upon hitting “play” on the laptop, it was immediately obvious that something was wrong. We were only getting one channel. Yes music, with its layers and wide stereo panning, turned out to be great music to test the four speakers. Unfortunately it took almost all of the Squire-allotted time, seventeen men* and one record producer to figure out that all the muss was being caused by an RCA adapter somewhere. We got two Squire songs, excellent as they were.
The Countdown this year was informally dubbed “The Greatest Songs of All Time”, because for the first time in years, the slate had been cleared and any and all songs were open for voting. Because of this anything goes approach and some younger blood, we got to hear a lot of classic tunes that often are either overlooked or just not up for grabs. I’m sure this was the first ever appearance of Boston on the countdown. I can probably say the same for Foreigner. These top ten hits are offset by more obscure favourites by Ian Thomas and UFO.
Now below, please analyse and enjoy the one and only OFFICIAL 2015 Sausagefest Countdown. Every track was a winner. I’ve highlighted songs I voted for (only two this year).
1
Battle Scar
Max Webster/Rush
2
Shine on You Crazy Diamond^
Pink Floyd
3
Hallowed be Thy Name
Iron Maiden
4
Working Man
Rush
5
Sultans of Swing
Dire Straits
6
La Villa Strangiato
Rush
7
Eulogy for the Damned
Orange Goblin
8
When the Levee Breaks
Led Zeppelin
9
Natural Science
Rush
10
A Day in the Life
The Beatles/War mashup
^ The whole thing…parts I-IX.
Look at that majesty. FOUR RUSH SONGS IN THE TOP TEN!
11
Fatso Forgetso
Kyuss
12
Heaven and Hell
Black Sabbath
13
Toronto Tontos
Max Webster
14
Wish You Were Here
Pink Floyd
15
Superstition
Stevie Wonder
16
Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Iron Maiden
17
Master of Puppets
Metallica
18
End of my Daze
Trouble
19
Papa Was a Rolling Stone
The Temptations
20
The Trooper
Iron Maiden
21
Ramble Tamble
Creedence Clearwater Revival
22
War Pigs
Black Sabbath
23
Penis Ground
Groove Daddys
24
The Ocean
Led Zeppelin
25
Stranglehold
Ted Nugent
26
Sympathy for the Devil
The Rolling Stones
27
Muffin Man
Frank Zappa
28
Smokin’
Boston
29
Child in Time (Live ’72)
Deep Purple
30
Aces High
Iron Maiden
31
Into the Void
Black Sabbath
32
25 or 6 to 4
Chicago
33
Machine Gun
Jimi Hendrix/Band of Gypsies
34
Doctor Doctor
UFO
35
Kashmir
Led Zeppelin
36
Old Man
Neil Young
37
Suite: Judy Blue Eyes
CSNY
38
Illegal Smile
John Prine
39
Testify
Rage Against the Machine
40
Get Up Offa That Thing
James Brown
41
Belzelboss
Tenacious D
42
Emerald
Thin Lizzy
43
Sweatleaf
Black Sabbath
44
Tribute
Tenacious D
45
Tres Brujas
The Sword
46
I
Black Sabbath
47
The Temples of Syrinx
Rush
48
Space Oddity
David Bowie
49
46 & 2
Tool
“Then I fuckin’ diddle-riddle-dee-doo.”
50
Monkberry Moon Delight
Paul McCartney & Wings
51
39
Tenacious D
52
What is Hip?
Tower of Power
53
Over the Hills and Far Away
Led Zeppelin
54
The Mob Goes Wild
Clutch
55
Better Living Through Chemistry
Queens of the Stone Age
56
Mongoose
Fu Manchu
57
Roadhouse Blues
The Doors
58
Inside Looking Out
Grand Funk Railroad
59
Hurt
Johnny Cash
60
Don’t Stop Me Now
Queen
61
Careful with that Axe Eugene
Pink Floyd
62
The Chain
Fleetwood Mac
63
Ophelia
The Band
64
Jukebox Hero
Foreigner
65
Fairies Wear Boots
Black Sabbath
66
Where the Devil Don’t Stay
Drive By Truckers
67
Fat Bottomed Girls
Queen
68
Under Pressure
Queen
69
Fools Overture
Supertramp
70
The Pot
Tool
71
Tempus Fugit
Yes
72
Thunderstruck
AC/DC
73
Green Eyed Lady
Sugarloaf
74
Duke’s Travels
Genesis
75
Red Hot Mama
Funkadelic
76
Painted Ladies
Ian Thomas
77
Down by the River
Neil Young
Please note that double-shot of Queen, above!
Also note the presence of “Penis Ground” by the Groove Daddys (not to be confused with the Groove Daddies, or Groove Daddy). This was a local trio fronted by guitarist and singer extraordinaire Rob Szabo. I certainly didn’t expect anything that obscure making the list, considering the diversity of folks that attend. To rank all the way up at #23? That’s proof of the sheer quality of the music. Indi enough for ya?
Once again, a huge thanks to Tom, Meat and everyone else for working so hard for us. Thanks Craig Fee and Jeff Woods for your much-appreciated willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty. And lastly thanks to Uncle Meat for being such a delightful travel-mate this year. Enjoy some of these pictures from the weekend, official video still to follow!
The Setup:
How many ‘Festers does it take…
There are like two wires, Tom.
Supervisin’.
The Live Bands:
The Fest:
The Aftermath:
* I didn’t take a head-count, but I swear if it wasn’t seventeen guys trying to fix the thing, it was close. It doesn’t really matter because more wouldn’t have helped!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #420: Walk With Meat
Everybody loves misheard lyrics! “’Scuse me while I kiss this guy.” There are entire books available with nothing but commonly misheard lyrics. My dad used to think Gene Simmons was singing “a beach creature in the Ladies Room” on that Kiss classic from Rock N’ Roll Over. Misheard lyrics can be embarrassing when caught singing along, but also fun.
Perhaps some lyrics are not misheard at all. Perhaps some are intentional?
My good friend Uncle Meat pointed out a good one on Queenryche’s 1986 track “Walk in the Shadows”. This opening song from the amazing Rage For Order album has remained a fan-favourite over the years. Its progressive-rock-meets-technology vibe was very new for the time, though it was skeptically met by fans of pure guitar rock. As much as Rage For Order broke new musical ground, it was also quite complex lyrically. I even studied some of the songs (“Neue Regel”, “Chemical Youth”, and “Surgical Strike”) for a highschool English project. But what was Geoff Tate saying in the lyrics?
What? You say you’re through with me, I’m not through with you, We’ve had what others might call love.
Only mildly disturbing. Sounds like a clingy ex-lover who can’t face that his relationship is over.
You say it’s over now, What’s done, what’s through? You can’t stay away, you need me, I need you.
Again, still clingy and slightly desperate. Nothing of any depth or hidden meaning though. It’s all right there on the page. But wait….
Ow! You got to stay with me…(Walk with me) Oooh! Walk in the shadows (Walk with MEAT), Walk in the shadows (Walk with me), Ahhh, yeah! Walk in the shadows, WOO! (Walk with MEAT), Walk in the shadows (Walk with me), Ah, ahh, ahhhhh! Walk in the shadows (Walk with MEAT), Walk with me!
Listen to the end of the song. You can clearly hear the “t” in “Meat” on every other line in the outro. Clearly! And notice how Geoff puts his emphasis and screams and fill-ins on the MEAT lines. He even threw in a “woo” there. How often do you hear Geoff Tate throwing “woos” into his lines? So what was Geoff Tate really trying to tell us on “Walk in the Shadows”?*
Analyzing the lyrics of the song, and digging into the album itself for more clues, I think I have finally figured out the true, hidden story behind “Walk in the Shadows” by Queensryche. The technological theme takes us into the future. That much is obvious from the album’s lyrics and concepts. “I only dream infrared,” and all the high-tech artificial intelligence hints at a future that had not existed in 1986. We are getting closer, but thankfully the robots haven’t revolted yet. Tate is obviously foretelling the future rather than singing about current events in 1986.
Some time in late ’85, when Geoff Tate was knee-deep in a vat of red wine, a bottle fell off his top shelf, hit him on the head and knocked him out cold. He awoke in a future that is still far away, even for us in 2015. The year is unknown – Geoff was still too loaded on wine to pick up a newspaper and read the date. However one thing is known – the future will be dominated by Uncle Meat. Tate wandered this future landscape for some time, and witnessed things that no-one would believe. His only option was to hide these warnings in the lyrics of a concept album. That album was Rage For Order. “Walk in the Shadows” was the opening song. That’s how Geoff Tate plays his cards — right there on the table.
“Walk in the shadows, walk with MEAT.” Geoff had seen a glimpse of our planet’s glorious future. Walk with him and you will see – the future is walking with MEAT. You couldn’t get any clearer. Once you hear that not-so-subtle “T” in “Meat”, the rest slowly reveals itself, like a puzzle with the edges already finished.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #411: Stop Playing ‘Beth’ – The Post-Sausagefest Countdown
Perhaps the only bigger production than going to Sausagefest is coming home from Sausagefest. At least when you’re travelling with Uncle Meat.
As we have previous years, Uncle Meat rode up with me. This time he slept in my car too. This pretty much left me responsible for him. I roused bright and early from a restful slumber on Saturday morning to evacuate my bladder. Imagine my surprise when I found, at 6:30 in the morning, Uncle Meat, Bucky and Matt still up from the night before. They were just starting to fall asleep when I took my morning shit. I then went back to sleep in my tent for a few more hours.
Our Saturday morning tradition is to hit up the Flying Spatula in Flesherton for our breakfast fill-up. Sebastien, driving his 4×4, stopped by my tent and asked if I was riding up with him. Ready for some bacon and eggs, I hopped on board with Seb, while Meat snoozed away in my car’s passenger side seat.
My first controversy of the weekend was not waking Meat up for breakfast. Being that he had only gone to bed a couple hours before, I thought I was doing him a favour. Apparently not. “Breakfast before sleep!” he said. Apparently that’s the Meat priorities.
Saturday went off without a hitch, breakfast arrangements aside. I will post the full 78 song countdown (plus a couple odds n’ ends) in the days ahead. Saturday night was loaded with long bombers, such as “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” (13 minutes), the live “Child in Time” from Made In Japan (12 minutes), and “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” (25 minutes). The excellent countdown (dubbed “the greatest songs of all time”) ended after midnight.
Sunday morning, I found I had the most difficult job of all. It took me an hour and a half (close to two hours) to wake Uncle Meat from his slumber. As the others were packing up their tents and heading off into the sunrise, I found I had a passenger unwilling or unable to rouse himself. “If you let him sleep in your car again next year, then there will be nobody to blame but you,” said Troy.
I cranked “I Stole Your Love” at max volume. No reaction. Tom threw a 12-pack of socks at his head (photo above). No reaction. I played Kiss’ “Beth”, followed by the 1988 Eric Carr re-recording. Still nothing. Only when I put the car in drive and started moving it around did Meat finally decide to wake himself. I took him on a drousy “drive of shame” to visit all the people who had no trouble waking up. “I have a boner” he announced. Yes, it’s true — Uncle Meat woke up with wood.
After telling us all about his boner, he kept shouting “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” even though the song was no longer playing. This continued when we pulled into our first stop, Top of the Rock, for him to get his first coffee. “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” he shouted in a barely-there voice, any time somebody was in his vicinity.
“Stop playing ‘Beth’!” he shouted, when his roomate Zack also pulled into Top of the Rock. Zack informed us, “That’s just him. He’ll just keep repeating it unless he gets something new in his head.” Zack paused and said, “Watch. Rododendron!”
“Rhododendron!” shouted Meat, parroting his roomate. “Rhododendron! Stop playing ‘Beth’!”
And that was it pretty much the rest of the ride home. A selection of brief statements, repeated ad nauseum: “Rhododendron!” “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” “Coffee!” Repeat.
The weekend more than made up for the ride home. Sebastien and I shot lots of footage, including underwater stuff with his GoPro. For the first time ever, we will be combining footage and doing the annual videos together. Be patient, this will be worth it.
Three albums I must own, after this year’s Sausagefest:
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #390: The Open Door Piss Strikes Back
I will never forget the night we invited a bunch of friends over to play Rock Band. It is unlikely that any of our guests will have difficulty remembering either. For the night of the Rock Band party was also the night of the return of the Open Door Piss.
It was a mixed crowd, a bunch of people who hadn’t met before. It was one of the first parties we hosted as a married couple. Jen invited a couple of her co-workers from RIM, I invited one of mine and his wife, and of course I had to ask the incredible Uncle Meat to attend. Meat is quite a singer, you see, and my Rock Band crowd was short on singers. I was the only other attendee who liked to sing. My songs were “Painkiller” by Judas Priest, “Paranoid” by Sabbath, and generally any rockers I was comfortable with.
Uncle Meat’s speciality was the lead vocal on Rush songs: “Closer to the Heart, and “The Trees”. That was fun for my buddy Chris, a fellow fan of Trailer Park Boys. When Meat took on “The Trees”, I excitedly told Chris, “This is the song Ricky’s always complaining about…how trees talk to each other and how different parts of your brain work!”
We got a couple of beers into him, and Uncle Meat nailed “The Trees” note for note. He did an excellent job, while one of Jen’s co-workers did a pretty good Neil Peart on the drums. High-fives all around.
After putting 100% into his vocal performance, Meat excused himself. “I have to piss,” he said. “Where’s the washroom?”
Down the hall Meat went, just at one of those moments that happen in every party, when things quiet down. Tired from rocking track after track, we all sat quietly talking in the living room, just when we heard the sound.
It was the old, familiar trickle of an open door piss. Familiar to me maybe, but not someone like the wife of my co-worker!
“Is that…is he…” she muttered, and everyone stared in the stunned silence of simultaneous realization.
“He’s peeing with the door open?” someone asked, and I nodded to confirm!
Meat re-emerged to the now-silent living room.
“Hey Meat! Did you have a good piss?” I asked.
“Huh?” he responded, wondering why I’d ask that question.
“We could hear everything!” I laughed, cracking up. “You forgot to close the door, we heard every drop.”
“Oh!” said Meat sheepishly. “Yeah.”
Laughter broke the tension, but I will never let Uncle Meat forget!
SPINAL TAP – The Original Soundtrack Recording from the Motion Picture “This is Spinal Tap” (1984, 2010 Universal remaster)
In true Spinal Tap fashion, it turned out that I reviewed their albums in the wrong order. I went backwards, and the soundtrack to the motion picture This is Spinal Tap is the last Tap album for me to scrutinize. Though Spinal Tap is a parody band made of actors Michael McKean, Christopher Guest and Harry Shearer, it is easier to just refer to them as David St. Hubbins, Nigel Tufnel, and Derek Smalls.
If you happened to go through life without owning a single soundtrack album, then you must reverse that situation immediately. All self-respecting rock fans must be able to laugh at the absurdities of their favourite genres, and Spinal Tap represent every mis-step that legendary rock bands ever took. Spinal Tap forced real life rockers such as Judas Priest and Ronnie James Dio to laugh at themselves; a healthy undertaking. Even though some artists didn’t see the humour in the movie This is Spinal Tap, others did and were quick to claim that certain scenes were actually based upon them!
The single/video “Hell Hole” opens the album, a rare Nigel lead vocal with David St. Hubbins on the chorus. According to the helpful liner notes, this track was from Tap’s then-new reunion album, Smell the Glove. Scorching guitar from St. Hubbins and Tufnel; slamming drums from Mick Shrimpton and spot-on organ by Viv Savage: it’s all here. And let’s not forget the band’s secret weapon Derek Smalls on bass and backing vocals, thickening up the mix like a good brown gravy….
I always think of “Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight” as the song on which something is all but guaranteed to go wrong, live. In the studio it’s a taut rocker with explicit lyrics: “You’re sweet but you’re just four feet and you still got your baby teeth, you’re too young and I’m too well-hung but tonight I’m gonna rock ya!” Lock up your daughters, but you don’t want to miss this scorching classic from 1974’s Intravenus de Milo.
“Heavy Duty” is a concert classic, originally from Bent for the Rent (1976), but to me it has long overstayed its welcome. It is a mere skeleton of a song with not enough raw meat. It does ask an important question in the lyrics, “Why waste good music on the brain?” Interesting inquiry David; something to get the metal masses thinking. For fans of Nigel Tufnel’s signature shredding, you will find much to love in his solo for “Heavy Duty”. Moving forward to 1977, we are next treated to the title track from Rock and Roll Creation, Tap’s misguided collection of rock and roll psalms. Thankfully the track “Rock and Roll Creation” itself boasts one of the band’s strongest choruses, though it is certainly hard to forget the scene in the movie when Derek fails to escape his pod.
The liner notes say that “America” is previously unreleased (I did not know that). It was barely in the film. This duet between Nigel and David boasts some heavy riffing, but not much in terms of melody. Lyrically the song recounts the experience of Spinal’s visits to America, “pretty womens everywhere, Brady Bunch and Smokey Bear!”
Side one of the soundtrack closes with “Cups and Cakes”, a pre-Tap single from 1965 when they were still known as The Thamesmen. This is a Tufnel creation about having tea. Predating Sgt Peppers by two years, obviously the Beatles must have taken inspiration from “Cups and Cakes” for their own songs. Strings and trumpets create the backing music while nary a rock instrument can be heard.
The legendary “Big Bottom” (from Brainhammer, 1973) was given some legitimacy when Soundgarden decided to cover it (as a medley with Cheech and Chong’s “Earache My Eye”). In this track all the axemen play bass — there are no guitars! Opening side two with a song that is all bass and no guitar was probably a genius move. I just can’t explain why. I’m just assuming. Unfortunately when Soundgarden covered it, they did it with guitars, failing to capture the mighty bass necessary to sing a song about bums.
“My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo, I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo”
From 1980’s poorly reviewed Shark Sandwich is the riffy “Sex Farm”. Though Shark Sandwich might be considered one of Tap’s worst, “Sex Farm” is one of their most enduring anthems. Readers of my regular feature here, Record Store Tales, may recall that my good friend Uncle Meat got written up at work for playing this song in store. Supposedly somebody called in to complain about the lyrics. This is Spinal Tap is his favourite movie of all time. “I realize there is some innuendo,” says Meat. “‘Plowin’ through your beanfield’…I just, you know, the thought of someone allegedly being so offended by Spinal Tap…” he trailed off. (You can see the story in video form here, as this very CD was one of the Top Five Albums that Got Us in Shit at the Record Store.)
The best tune on 1975’s The Sun Never Sweats was undoubtedly “Stonehenge”, and I would argue that it remains the greatest Spinal Tap song of all time. It is hard to encapsulate this opus in mere English. Tap take us on a trip back in time with both Tufnel and St. Hubbins sharing lead vocals. The mandolin break at the end is one of Tap’s most famous musical moments, as it is there that things often seem to go wrong in concert, regarding the giant Stonehenge prop that is supposed to appear on stage.
In my last year of high school, my mom bought me this soundtrack on cassette. That helped enable a group of my friends to do a Spinal Tap “air band” at our school’s annual air band competition! Lacking a mandolin player, they instead snagged one of our math teachers who played banjo, and had him come out on stage dancing in lederhosen. Absolutely brilliant. I’m glad to have participated in it in my own small way of lending the tape. Bringing Spinal Tap to the highschool masses? There must be an award for that.
The album comes to an end with two oldies-but-goodies. Back to the Thamesmen days, it’s 1965’s “Gimme Some Money”, the flip side to “Cups and Cakes”. The drummer was John “Stumpy” Pepys (Ed Begley Jr.), a “tall blonde geek with glasses” according to David. Pepys died in a bizarre gardening accident. This artifact from their skiffle period is best remembered for Nigel’s cool guitar solo. “Go Nigel, Go!” Then finally it’s “(Listen to the) Flower People” from the cumbersome titled Spinal Tap Sings “Listen to the Flower People” and Other Favourites (1967). The drummer on this track was Eric “Stumpy Joe” Childs, who sadly choked to death on vomit (not his own) in 1974. What is especially interesting about this track is Nigel’s use of the sitar, a full two years after George Harrison did on Rubber Soul. Spinal Tap were exploiting the hippy movement and this track was one of their greatest successes.
The remastered CD comes with two bonus tracks! The non-album single (1984) for “Christmas With the Devil” is presented in two mixes, one from the A-side and one from the B-side. Prior to this, the only version of “Christmas With the Devil” available on CD was the re-recorded one on 1992’s Break Like the Wind. The original single version(s) remained obscure until 2000, when Universal released them here. Now finally having them all, I must say I prefer the 1992 version best. The original does have a little more pep in its step, and there is a Christmas message from the band at the end. The “scratch mix” of the single is not much different.
All joking aside, it’s crucial to remember that these guys (the actors) were not musical slouches. Michael McKean was nominated for an Oscar award, for his music in 2003’s A Mighty Wind. The musicianship is there and it’s intentional humorous. You can hear musical jokes in the solos of Christopher Guest. As a result, the soundtrack is not only funny but also timeless. A good song is a good song is a good song, and some of the tracks here are actually really good when you break them down. “Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight”, “Sex Farm” and especially “Stonehenge” are all really good songs when it comes down to it!
In the real world, all the songs were written by the trio of Guest, McKean and Shearer with director Rob Reiner. The drums were handled by R.J. Parnell of Atomic Rooster, who played Mick Shrimpton in the movie. On keyboards is David Kaff (Rare Bird) otherwise known as Viv Savage from the film. (Rare Bird are probably best remembered as the band who originally did “Sympathy”, later covered by Marillion.) The album was self-produced. There is no questioning the chops of the musicians involved. It’s hard to create a musical joke of album length that is still fun to listen to 30 years later.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #355: “The man’s hot piss warmed my freezing cold hands”
Once upon a time, in a Record Store not far away, there was a manager named Joe. Some people call him “Big Nose”. Some people just call him Joe. Two things about Joe you must understand: 1) Joe doesn’t give a crap about what anybody thinks, and 2) Joe doesn’t really know boundaries. Joe is the one who told me he had a crush on my mom. Joe is the one who introduced me to the Open Door Piss. I like Joe, don’t get me wrong. He was pretty much the only one at the Record Store that I could confide in towards the end. He is trustworthy, 100%. A solid individual. He was the best support I could have had. But I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that Joe is different from just about everybody you know.
The Tale goes like this:
Joe and Uncle Meat were driving from Waterloo to Windsor, to go and visit Tom who was attending teacher’s college there. It was December, and a cold one it was. By this time, Tom sold his own branch of the Record Store, so he could continue his education and become a teacher. Joe and Meat were travelling in Joe’s old beat up piece of shit. It was the quintessential “old man car”. It was huge, ancient, and nothing worked. I’m amazed it made to Windsor and back, honestly. One of the features that no longer functioned was the heat, which is a pretty darned important thing during a Canadian December.
Sometime during the three hour tour, Joe had to piss. Pulling off highway 401 to pee isn’t Joe’s style. Instead, he re-invented the piss jug, but with a large Tim Horton’s coffee cup. After relieving himself in said cup, he passed it to Meat!
Meat, all this time, was freezing his ass off in the passenger side. His hands and fingers in particular were as frigid as icicles. Although being passed a cup of piss in most situations isn’t a position you want to be in, this time it wasn’t so bad. The cup “felt like a hot double double in my hands,” says Meat. Still warm with Joe’s body heat, the piss-cup helped Meat regain some of the sensation in his digits. “What’s the greatest gift you can give? The warmth from inside of you. The man’s hot piss warmed my freezing cold hands,” according to Uncle Meat.
After warming his fingers, Meat rolled down the window. He carefully prepared the cup for ejection. He managed to throw it while only getting a surprisingly “minimal amount of piss” on his arm.
Neither Uncle Meat nor I condone littering, but sometimes life hands you a warm cup of piss, and you have no choice in the matter!
NOTE: This is basically a review of the Deluxe edition of Live Evil. I own The Rules of Hell (2008) box set of Dio-era Sabbath, so I did not need to buy the later Deluxe of Live Evil. The 2 CD edition inside The Rules of Hell is sonically the same.
BLACK SABBATH – Live Evil (1982 Warner, 2008 Rhino)
Live Evil: Not only a palindrome, but also the last gasp of the Dio/Appice/Iommi/Butler lineup of Black Sabbath. Hard to believe that their first “official” live release was with Ronnie James Dio at the mic and not Ozzy Osbourne! This infamous live album was the last thing Sabbath did before Dio left (the first time) and it’s actually a lot better than people generally give it credit for.
Some folks may not enjoy that live, there’s only one guitar. When Iommi takes a guitar solo, the gap is filled by bassist Geezer Butler and keyboardist Geoff Nicholls. The audible keyboards in the middle of a heavy metal song like “Neon Nights” do take a little getting used to, admittedly. In the end though, it’s part of the scenery. Black Sabbath didn’t do much with live keyboards in the original Ozzy era, but they were a part of every Sabbath lineup since. There was also apparently a lot of behind the scenes bitching about instrument levels and whatnot that supposedly lead to the disintegration of the band. This remastered edition of the CD leaves me with few qualms about the sound.
Back in the 80’s and 90’s, you used to see a lot of fan rivalry. “Dio sucks!” or “Dio rules!” Today we all have the perspective to know that you can have both Ozzy and Dio, like having your cake and eating it too. Well, until Dio’s heartbreaking 2010 death, that is. It is true most singers that Sabbath have had couldn’t do the Ozzy material convincingly. Ozzy sounded genuinely disturbed and terrified on “Black Sabbath”. (“What is this that stands before me? Figure in black which points at me. Turn round quick and start to run. Find out I’m the chosen one…oh no, please God help me!”) Dio camps it up quite a bit, which is not my personal preference. The same goes for “War Pigs”. I also find that Vinny Appice just can’t cop the vibe that Bill Ward got on the drums. Ward played it very subtle, almost tribal, and Vinny plays it straight ahead. But I’ve yet to hear any lineup that can do that song as well as the original album version, including the reunited (1997-2012) Sabbath with Ozzy and Bill. (Appice also gets a drum solo on “War Pigs”; thunderous but not necessary.)
The set list for this album was pretty cool, including Mob Rules favourites “Voodoo” and an absolutely killer “Sign of the Southern Cross”. This version, melded with a long extended “Heaven and Hell”, is among the very best moments in Dio’s career. Basically, all the Dio-era material here is excellent, while the Ozzy-era stuff leaves you feeling just a little bit underwhelmed. Not to say they’re bad, they’re just…different. Two completely different singers with their own personalities. The fact is that Dio made it work live as best he could, and that’s commendable.
MVP: The super slinky Geezer Butler. The remastered edition allows us to hear with real clarity every massive note, and his bass is like a jolt of caffeine to the brain!
Since this is a 2CD set, all the between-song banter that was deleted on single disc versions has been restored. That’s important. Dio talks a lot between songs and that’s part of the album. Otherwise there is no bonus material. There are ample and interesting liner notes, and the front cover looks absolutely stunning. This is one of Sabbath’s all-time best covers (perhaps second only to their first album) and it definitely shines in this edition. (But don’t let that stop you from tracking down a vinyl copy so you can see it in its 12×12 glory!)
Shame that this was the last album of the original Dio era, but of course Dio and the band felt there needed to be additional chapters later on. And so there were. Live Evil remained a controversial album for a decade after its releasing, dividing fan and band opinions. I asked two of my esteemed Sausagefest rock scholar friends for their opinion on it, to make sure we’ve covered all the bases. This is why they had to add:
Uncle Meat: “As good as Dio was as a singer, I never really liked some of his takes on Ozzy Sabbath songs. He kinda over-sings them. It’s like he is bored with them and he appeases the singer in himself. Also the mix is pretty horrible as well. The truth is, the only great Sabbath live album isnt even a Sabbath album. Ozzy’s Speak of the Devil still sounds great today.”
Dr. Dave: “I don’t love or hate it. I like it. The most interesting thing for me, besides Dio, is the Vinny Appice take on the whole thing. More of a groove, less of a swing than Bill Ward. Not saying better, just neatly different.”
Final note: The liner notes correct Dio’s name to Ronnie James Dio. The original LP and CD had his name printed as simply “Ronnie Dio”, as a bit of a “fuck you” to the singer. They do not, however, reinstate Vinny Appice as an “official” member, having his name under “special thanks”!
3.5/5 stars. The most historic of the Sabbath live albums.