I first met Mac in the early 90s when I was dragged to the Walper by a mutual friend of ours Jeff Marsland (aka Chewie). Not long within the set he played Tori Amos – “Pretty Good Year” and Motorhead – “Ace of Spades” and I was hooked. Then being blown away by Six Months … as well as the re-named Hibakusha. Actually my most memorable Paul moment on stage was when Hibakusha broke into Supertramp’s “School” at the Starlight. One of the greatest covers I have ever seen.
Years after that I was fortunate enough to join the infamous MacLeod poker nights, and this was where we started becoming close friends. Also through him I was fortunate to meet and get to know his great and talented friends. We just seemed to enjoy pretty much exactly the same things… music…sports…darts…and I would say most of all…comedy. Considering how long before this I had admired him as a musician, it was surprisingly quick and easy for me to put that away and just look at him as my friend. A few times Paul brought up the first poker game I went to .. and said this statement that always made me laugh: “I had to be friends with you. You had the balls to tell me to my face, in front of my friends, that Scott Deneau was the the best guy you’ve ever seen with just a guitar and a voice.” I can still picture the look on his face when he would say it and it still makes me laugh.
One Canada Day at the Boathouse (the year would have been 2011 ish? maybe?) Paul played two full sets of all Canadian tunes. Some of the songs he pulled out of the air that night were classic. They weren’t perfect. Some of the lyrics were wrong. But with every song the crowd just wanted to see what was coming next. His interactions with Kevin Doyle that night were so much fun. This was followed by an after hours set of Who tunes with Paul only singing and Chris Latta on guitar. Totally kicked my ass. Hard to forget moments like these.
A few amazing years of playing darts with the man. Getting my ass thoroughly kicked most of the time. Loved going to war with him for a few years on the same team. His personality shone through every dart venue we played at. What can I say? The man knew how to own a room.
I was lucky enough many times to get the gift of him just picking up his guitar and singing. Sometimes singing along but mostly just soaking it in. And then we would go back to comedy. And lots of it. Every time I would go over to his sister’s place he would be so “on” with the comedy. Relentless. The man loved making people laugh. So, included here is one of his favourite bits from his all-time favourite comedian Norm MacDonald. This is what made the funniest guy I know laugh.
THE SWORD – London Music Hall, London Ontario 04/12/2016
I don’t think we ever found out the name of the first band that played on this night. They had some great riffy moments, nothing too spectacular but a good way to warm up the crowd. Seconds after they finished their set, Tom turned to me and said, “Never too old to enjoy a Rock Show.” A month earlier we had enjoyed another Rock Show, catching ZZ (that little band from Texas) Top when they rode into town. Ironically enough, tonight was all about seeing The Sword, another band of Texans who actually cite ZZ as a major influence. Six degrees of integrity, or something like that. Thus begins yet another musical journey, and yes Thomas is right. In our 40’s and still lovin’ the Rock Show.
I had the pleasure of seeing The Sword once before as openers for Kyuss Lives: Relentless hard-rock riffing personified. We realized that this would be quite the different experience. Not only because they were playing a headlining set, but more importantly, we were seeing a completely different band than they were just a few years ago. Debuting in 2006, The Sword released four great metal albums. Albums that I definitely enjoyed, but apart from a few exceptional tracks, to me they were just another metal band. While I can still appreciate a good thrashing once in a red Satanic moon, the genre as a whole has kind of taken a nostalgic back seat for me. Before their latest album High Country was released, I didn’t LOVE The Sword. When I read comments from The Sword that basically stated that this new album would reflect more of who they really are, and that if they made another similar “metal” album it wouldn’t be authentic, it instantly intrigued me. From the first listen I connected with the polarizing High Country in a serious way. So much so that I actually over-played it and had to put it away for a bit. However “metal” fans had a different take on it. Almost every review I read was negative and most of them could have been summed up with three words: “not heavy enough”. That’s OK, cement-heads. They didn’t make this album for you. They made this album for themselves, and apparently me. Several songs on High Country tap into the 70’s soft-rock genre (Ambrosia/Little River Band/Bee Gees) that I am a huge sucker for. Thank you The Sword.
Since this is the home of Record Store Tales, I should include this. While we were in London we stopped by the Record Store Tom used to own in London. I don’t think the name of this particular chain can be mentioned around these parts, but I swear it doesn’t rhyme with “Pete Rose Con”. Anyways, I witnessed first-hand that while record stores are a dying breed, there are still gems to be mined out there. Tom’s face lights up as he finds a new copy of a Spiritual Beggars CD being sold new, at a used record store. Irony ensues as we find out that the store manager that ordered in that particular CD was a guy Tom trained 20 years ago. Sowing the seeds of Rock. But I digress.
Second opening band Royal Thunder took the stage and began doing a…umm…sound check? Considering there was a fair crowd in the London Music Theater at this point, this was something I haven’t seen very often, if at all. After their first song which understandably sounded pretty shitty, the female lead singer goes on a bit of a tirade about problems at the border and that Canadian cops are assholes. Aha! Live sound check explained. Royal Thunder had some great groove moments, but too many scattered riffs going nowhere. And too much “plinkilly plinkilly” with the guitars going on; it overall needed some more beef to it. Female lead singer/bass player certainly had some good pipes on her, but and I quote from Tom, “I liked their sound check better than most of their set.” To me they kinda sounded as if Bonnie Tyler developed an affinity for Satan and became the singer of Concrete Blonde. I also enjoyed that the drummer looked like our friend Tyler Generoux or 1971 Ian Paice, and he played like 1971 Bill Ward. In all reality their whole set acted as a glorified sound check for The Sword anyways. Step aside…this is High Country.
The lights go down and before The Sword come out, Christopher Cross’s “Ride Like the Wind” blares through the theater and it’s a glorious confirmation to me. This band is making a statement right away. High Country’s opening track “Unicorn Farm” plays as the hombres walk on stage. Launching into the album’s next track, Empty Temples, all sound issues have been corrected and they sound great. It’s during this song that it hits me. The Sword is one of my favorite bands and I don’t know even the first name of any band member on stage. I can still tell you off the top of my head that the classic lineup of Ratt is Stephen Pearcy, Juan Croucier, Bobby Blotzer, Warren DiMartini and Robbin Crosby. I even know how to spell them. But I have to use Google to find out the names of the members of one of my favourite bands. That’s just freakin’ stupid.
Lead singer John D. Cronise (who also plays rhythm/lead guitar) never had your typical heavy metal voice, so their new direction sits right in his wheelhouse. His partner in axemanship, Kyle Shutt, is the most rambunctious one in the band, and these two guys trade rhythm/lead guitar with the grace and prowess of combos like Adrian Smith/Dave Murray or any or all of the twin guitar combinations within the under-appreciated Thin Lizzy, and the great Wishbone Ash. Watching these guys together was a pure joy. Perhaps the most interesting musician on stage was bass player Bryan Richie, realizing early on that the standing synthesizer and keyboard foot pedals surrounding him make it possible for them to play some of the more eclectic material from High Country on stage. The band’s new direction has basically made him the most important member of the band, for live performances. Last but not least, in the immortal words of David St. Hubbins…“Great drummah…great drummah”. Fittingly enough, he even has a Spinal Tap-esque name. His name is Santiago “Jimmy” Vela III. You just can’t make that shit up. But seriously, he was a very solid drummer. Every few songs he would ride that cowbell all the way to Valhalla! There is just something about the cowbell that cuts clean through, especially with live music. It’s powers certainly worked on Tom and I, as we often found ourselves screaming ROCK SHOW!!…ROCK SHOW!!, in appreciation of The majestic Sword.
Staying mostly within the hallowed fields of High Country, more aggressive tracks “Ghost Eye” and “Suffer No Fools” actually conjured up a mini mosh-pit, which thankfully faded away as fast as it started. Who needs that bullshit anymore. Stand-out track “The Dreamthieves” was executed perfectly with background vocals and keyboards abound. The mind-blowing portion of the night comes when they play the robust “Mist & Shadow”, putting everyone in a rock and roll haze. I have been calling this song “The ‘Layla’ of hard rock” since I first heard it, and the patience in the composition and performance of “Mist & Shadow” defines not only this show for me but what this band has become.
The Sword left and subsequently returned to the stage for their encore. This is when I believe the band made its most profound statement of the night. I am sure that the metal fans wanted to hear their classic riffer “How Heavy This Axe”: Great heavy tune off their second album that I wanted to hear as well. Almost seemed to be what they should do. Instead, they chose to play the two tracks on High Country that are the most un-metal songs of not only the album, but their career. It was a brilliant choice and the message was clear. A message that became clearer as the lights come on and America’s “You Can Do Magic” starts playing. The look on some of the stunned faces around me in the crowd were pretty comical, and made me almost me feel proud of this band for not taking the easy way and going through the motions with just another metal album. This is what happens when musicians know who they are and what they want to become. Maybe the message is that once you get to this magical place that The Sword are in musically…You can do magic. You can play anything that you desire.
GETTING MORE TALE #459.2: 2015 Year-End Lists, part 2 – Uncle Meat!
List #2 for 2015 comes from the Uncle of the Meat. He needs no introduction here. Looking for some integrity? Then have a gander below.
Meat, Bucky, Tom
UNCLE MEAT’S TOP FIVE ALBUMS of 2015
5.The Book of Souls – Iron Maiden 4.Meloria – Ghost 3.Terraplane – Steve Earle 2.High Country – The Sword 1.Psychic Warfare – Clutch
UNCLE MEAT’S TOP TEN TV SHOWS of 2015
10.Ash vs. Evil Dead 9.F is for Family 8.Daredevil 7.W/ Bob and David 6.True Detective 5.Mr. Robot 4.The Affair 3.Better Call Saul 2.Game of Thrones 1.Fargo
UNCLE MEAT’S TOP TEN MOVIES of 2015
10.Straight Outta Compton 9.Ant-Man 8.Trainwreck 7. Avengers: Age of Ultron 6.Amy 5.Spotlight 4.Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3.The Revenant 2.Jaco: The Movie 1.Love and Mercy
Getting More Tale #433.5 presents: A worldwide online event! THE TOP 15 ON THE 15th – Guest shot by Uncle Meat
This is an event spanning many sites and writers in the World Wide Web. I will link to as many as possible; my own Top 15 can be found here. A few months ago, the challenge was thrown down to all comers: List your top 15 albums of all time! The date September 15 was chosen for the deadline.
Uncle Meat laboured hard on his Top 15, eventually whittling it down from a list of 31 great records*. Without any commentary, here they are. His only requirement: No live albums.
15.Rust in Peace – Megadeth
14. Screaming For Vengeance – Judas Priest
13.Little Earthquakes – Tori Amos
12.Close to the Edge – Yes
11.Consolers of the Lonely – The Raconteurs
10.Clutching at Straws – Marillion
9.Reign in Blood – Slayer
8.Operation: Mindcrime – Queensryche
7.Whale Music – The Rheostatics
6.Misplaced Childhood – Marillion
5.Moving Pictures – Rush
4.Roxy and Elsewhere – Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention
3. Pet Sounds – The Beach Boys
2.Hemispheres – Rush
1.El Corazón – Steve Earle
* For shits and giggles, here are the rest of The Meat’s albums that didn’t make the final cut.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #422: Sausagefest 2015 – The Complete Countdown
The annual trek to Sausagefest is centred upon the always epic Countdown. There were many misadventures on the way to the Countdown, and after. While I am sworn to abide by the credo “What happens at Sausagefest stays at Sausagefest,” I am also bound by my own nature as a storyteller. Therefore, I can share with you a number of brief tidbits, hints, and insinuations.
Yes founder Chris Squire died only days before the Sausagefest countdown. It was too late to include a tribute a Squire tribute into the countdown itself, so Tom and Uncle Meat sequenced about an hour of Squire’s best music to precede the actual countdown. This was a promising hour, but upon hitting “play” on the laptop, it was immediately obvious that something was wrong. We were only getting one channel. Yes music, with its layers and wide stereo panning, turned out to be great music to test the four speakers. Unfortunately it took almost all of the Squire-allotted time, seventeen men* and one record producer to figure out that all the muss was being caused by an RCA adapter somewhere. We got two Squire songs, excellent as they were.
The Countdown this year was informally dubbed “The Greatest Songs of All Time”, because for the first time in years, the slate had been cleared and any and all songs were open for voting. Because of this anything goes approach and some younger blood, we got to hear a lot of classic tunes that often are either overlooked or just not up for grabs. I’m sure this was the first ever appearance of Boston on the countdown. I can probably say the same for Foreigner. These top ten hits are offset by more obscure favourites by Ian Thomas and UFO.
Now below, please analyse and enjoy the one and only OFFICIAL 2015 Sausagefest Countdown. Every track was a winner. I’ve highlighted songs I voted for (only two this year).
1
Battle Scar
Max Webster/Rush
2
Shine on You Crazy Diamond^
Pink Floyd
3
Hallowed be Thy Name
Iron Maiden
4
Working Man
Rush
5
Sultans of Swing
Dire Straits
6
La Villa Strangiato
Rush
7
Eulogy for the Damned
Orange Goblin
8
When the Levee Breaks
Led Zeppelin
9
Natural Science
Rush
10
A Day in the Life
The Beatles/War mashup
^ The whole thing…parts I-IX.
Look at that majesty. FOUR RUSH SONGS IN THE TOP TEN!
11
Fatso Forgetso
Kyuss
12
Heaven and Hell
Black Sabbath
13
Toronto Tontos
Max Webster
14
Wish You Were Here
Pink Floyd
15
Superstition
Stevie Wonder
16
Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Iron Maiden
17
Master of Puppets
Metallica
18
End of my Daze
Trouble
19
Papa Was a Rolling Stone
The Temptations
20
The Trooper
Iron Maiden
21
Ramble Tamble
Creedence Clearwater Revival
22
War Pigs
Black Sabbath
23
Penis Ground
Groove Daddys
24
The Ocean
Led Zeppelin
25
Stranglehold
Ted Nugent
26
Sympathy for the Devil
The Rolling Stones
27
Muffin Man
Frank Zappa
28
Smokin’
Boston
29
Child in Time (Live ’72)
Deep Purple
30
Aces High
Iron Maiden
31
Into the Void
Black Sabbath
32
25 or 6 to 4
Chicago
33
Machine Gun
Jimi Hendrix/Band of Gypsies
34
Doctor Doctor
UFO
35
Kashmir
Led Zeppelin
36
Old Man
Neil Young
37
Suite: Judy Blue Eyes
CSNY
38
Illegal Smile
John Prine
39
Testify
Rage Against the Machine
40
Get Up Offa That Thing
James Brown
41
Belzelboss
Tenacious D
42
Emerald
Thin Lizzy
43
Sweatleaf
Black Sabbath
44
Tribute
Tenacious D
45
Tres Brujas
The Sword
46
I
Black Sabbath
47
The Temples of Syrinx
Rush
48
Space Oddity
David Bowie
49
46 & 2
Tool
“Then I fuckin’ diddle-riddle-dee-doo.”
50
Monkberry Moon Delight
Paul McCartney & Wings
51
39
Tenacious D
52
What is Hip?
Tower of Power
53
Over the Hills and Far Away
Led Zeppelin
54
The Mob Goes Wild
Clutch
55
Better Living Through Chemistry
Queens of the Stone Age
56
Mongoose
Fu Manchu
57
Roadhouse Blues
The Doors
58
Inside Looking Out
Grand Funk Railroad
59
Hurt
Johnny Cash
60
Don’t Stop Me Now
Queen
61
Careful with that Axe Eugene
Pink Floyd
62
The Chain
Fleetwood Mac
63
Ophelia
The Band
64
Jukebox Hero
Foreigner
65
Fairies Wear Boots
Black Sabbath
66
Where the Devil Don’t Stay
Drive By Truckers
67
Fat Bottomed Girls
Queen
68
Under Pressure
Queen
69
Fools Overture
Supertramp
70
The Pot
Tool
71
Tempus Fugit
Yes
72
Thunderstruck
AC/DC
73
Green Eyed Lady
Sugarloaf
74
Duke’s Travels
Genesis
75
Red Hot Mama
Funkadelic
76
Painted Ladies
Ian Thomas
77
Down by the River
Neil Young
Please note that double-shot of Queen, above!
Also note the presence of “Penis Ground” by the Groove Daddys (not to be confused with the Groove Daddies, or Groove Daddy). This was a local trio fronted by guitarist and singer extraordinaire Rob Szabo. I certainly didn’t expect anything that obscure making the list, considering the diversity of folks that attend. To rank all the way up at #23? That’s proof of the sheer quality of the music. Indi enough for ya?
Once again, a huge thanks to Tom, Meat and everyone else for working so hard for us. Thanks Craig Fee and Jeff Woods for your much-appreciated willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty. And lastly thanks to Uncle Meat for being such a delightful travel-mate this year. Enjoy some of these pictures from the weekend, official video still to follow!
The Setup:
How many ‘Festers does it take…
There are like two wires, Tom.
Supervisin’.
The Live Bands:
The Fest:
The Aftermath:
* I didn’t take a head-count, but I swear if it wasn’t seventeen guys trying to fix the thing, it was close. It doesn’t really matter because more wouldn’t have helped!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #420: Walk With Meat
Everybody loves misheard lyrics! “’Scuse me while I kiss this guy.” There are entire books available with nothing but commonly misheard lyrics. My dad used to think Gene Simmons was singing “a beach creature in the Ladies Room” on that Kiss classic from Rock N’ Roll Over. Misheard lyrics can be embarrassing when caught singing along, but also fun.
Perhaps some lyrics are not misheard at all. Perhaps some are intentional?
My good friend Uncle Meat pointed out a good one on Queenryche’s 1986 track “Walk in the Shadows”. This opening song from the amazing Rage For Order album has remained a fan-favourite over the years. Its progressive-rock-meets-technology vibe was very new for the time, though it was skeptically met by fans of pure guitar rock. As much as Rage For Order broke new musical ground, it was also quite complex lyrically. I even studied some of the songs (“Neue Regel”, “Chemical Youth”, and “Surgical Strike”) for a highschool English project. But what was Geoff Tate saying in the lyrics?
What? You say you’re through with me, I’m not through with you, We’ve had what others might call love.
Only mildly disturbing. Sounds like a clingy ex-lover who can’t face that his relationship is over.
You say it’s over now, What’s done, what’s through? You can’t stay away, you need me, I need you.
Again, still clingy and slightly desperate. Nothing of any depth or hidden meaning though. It’s all right there on the page. But wait….
Ow! You got to stay with me…(Walk with me) Oooh! Walk in the shadows (Walk with MEAT), Walk in the shadows (Walk with me), Ahhh, yeah! Walk in the shadows, WOO! (Walk with MEAT), Walk in the shadows (Walk with me), Ah, ahh, ahhhhh! Walk in the shadows (Walk with MEAT), Walk with me!
Listen to the end of the song. You can clearly hear the “t” in “Meat” on every other line in the outro. Clearly! And notice how Geoff puts his emphasis and screams and fill-ins on the MEAT lines. He even threw in a “woo” there. How often do you hear Geoff Tate throwing “woos” into his lines? So what was Geoff Tate really trying to tell us on “Walk in the Shadows”?*
Analyzing the lyrics of the song, and digging into the album itself for more clues, I think I have finally figured out the true, hidden story behind “Walk in the Shadows” by Queensryche. The technological theme takes us into the future. That much is obvious from the album’s lyrics and concepts. “I only dream infrared,” and all the high-tech artificial intelligence hints at a future that had not existed in 1986. We are getting closer, but thankfully the robots haven’t revolted yet. Tate is obviously foretelling the future rather than singing about current events in 1986.
Some time in late ’85, when Geoff Tate was knee-deep in a vat of red wine, a bottle fell off his top shelf, hit him on the head and knocked him out cold. He awoke in a future that is still far away, even for us in 2015. The year is unknown – Geoff was still too loaded on wine to pick up a newspaper and read the date. However one thing is known – the future will be dominated by Uncle Meat. Tate wandered this future landscape for some time, and witnessed things that no-one would believe. His only option was to hide these warnings in the lyrics of a concept album. That album was Rage For Order. “Walk in the Shadows” was the opening song. That’s how Geoff Tate plays his cards — right there on the table.
“Walk in the shadows, walk with MEAT.” Geoff had seen a glimpse of our planet’s glorious future. Walk with him and you will see – the future is walking with MEAT. You couldn’t get any clearer. Once you hear that not-so-subtle “T” in “Meat”, the rest slowly reveals itself, like a puzzle with the edges already finished.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #411: Stop Playing ‘Beth’ – The Post-Sausagefest Countdown
Perhaps the only bigger production than going to Sausagefest is coming home from Sausagefest. At least when you’re travelling with Uncle Meat.
As we have previous years, Uncle Meat rode up with me. This time he slept in my car too. This pretty much left me responsible for him. I roused bright and early from a restful slumber on Saturday morning to evacuate my bladder. Imagine my surprise when I found, at 6:30 in the morning, Uncle Meat, Bucky and Matt still up from the night before. They were just starting to fall asleep when I took my morning shit. I then went back to sleep in my tent for a few more hours.
Our Saturday morning tradition is to hit up the Flying Spatula in Flesherton for our breakfast fill-up. Sebastien, driving his 4×4, stopped by my tent and asked if I was riding up with him. Ready for some bacon and eggs, I hopped on board with Seb, while Meat snoozed away in my car’s passenger side seat.
My first controversy of the weekend was not waking Meat up for breakfast. Being that he had only gone to bed a couple hours before, I thought I was doing him a favour. Apparently not. “Breakfast before sleep!” he said. Apparently that’s the Meat priorities.
Saturday went off without a hitch, breakfast arrangements aside. I will post the full 78 song countdown (plus a couple odds n’ ends) in the days ahead. Saturday night was loaded with long bombers, such as “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” (13 minutes), the live “Child in Time” from Made In Japan (12 minutes), and “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” (25 minutes). The excellent countdown (dubbed “the greatest songs of all time”) ended after midnight.
Sunday morning, I found I had the most difficult job of all. It took me an hour and a half (close to two hours) to wake Uncle Meat from his slumber. As the others were packing up their tents and heading off into the sunrise, I found I had a passenger unwilling or unable to rouse himself. “If you let him sleep in your car again next year, then there will be nobody to blame but you,” said Troy.
I cranked “I Stole Your Love” at max volume. No reaction. Tom threw a 12-pack of socks at his head (photo above). No reaction. I played Kiss’ “Beth”, followed by the 1988 Eric Carr re-recording. Still nothing. Only when I put the car in drive and started moving it around did Meat finally decide to wake himself. I took him on a drousy “drive of shame” to visit all the people who had no trouble waking up. “I have a boner” he announced. Yes, it’s true — Uncle Meat woke up with wood.
After telling us all about his boner, he kept shouting “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” even though the song was no longer playing. This continued when we pulled into our first stop, Top of the Rock, for him to get his first coffee. “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” he shouted in a barely-there voice, any time somebody was in his vicinity.
“Stop playing ‘Beth’!” he shouted, when his roomate Zack also pulled into Top of the Rock. Zack informed us, “That’s just him. He’ll just keep repeating it unless he gets something new in his head.” Zack paused and said, “Watch. Rododendron!”
“Rhododendron!” shouted Meat, parroting his roomate. “Rhododendron! Stop playing ‘Beth’!”
And that was it pretty much the rest of the ride home. A selection of brief statements, repeated ad nauseum: “Rhododendron!” “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” “Coffee!” Repeat.
The weekend more than made up for the ride home. Sebastien and I shot lots of footage, including underwater stuff with his GoPro. For the first time ever, we will be combining footage and doing the annual videos together. Be patient, this will be worth it.
Three albums I must own, after this year’s Sausagefest:
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #390: The Open Door Piss Strikes Back
I will never forget the night we invited a bunch of friends over to play Rock Band. It is unlikely that any of our guests will have difficulty remembering either. For the night of the Rock Band party was also the night of the return of the Open Door Piss.
It was a mixed crowd, a bunch of people who hadn’t met before. It was one of the first parties we hosted as a married couple. Jen invited a couple of her co-workers from RIM, I invited one of mine and his wife, and of course I had to ask the incredible Uncle Meat to attend. Meat is quite a singer, you see, and my Rock Band crowd was short on singers. I was the only other attendee who liked to sing. My songs were “Painkiller” by Judas Priest, “Paranoid” by Sabbath, and generally any rockers I was comfortable with.
Uncle Meat’s speciality was the lead vocal on Rush songs: “Closer to the Heart, and “The Trees”. That was fun for my buddy Chris, a fellow fan of Trailer Park Boys. When Meat took on “The Trees”, I excitedly told Chris, “This is the song Ricky’s always complaining about…how trees talk to each other and how different parts of your brain work!”
We got a couple of beers into him, and Uncle Meat nailed “The Trees” note for note. He did an excellent job, while one of Jen’s co-workers did a pretty good Neil Peart on the drums. High-fives all around.
After putting 100% into his vocal performance, Meat excused himself. “I have to piss,” he said. “Where’s the washroom?”
Down the hall Meat went, just at one of those moments that happen in every party, when things quiet down. Tired from rocking track after track, we all sat quietly talking in the living room, just when we heard the sound.
It was the old, familiar trickle of an open door piss. Familiar to me maybe, but not someone like the wife of my co-worker!
“Is that…is he…” she muttered, and everyone stared in the stunned silence of simultaneous realization.
“He’s peeing with the door open?” someone asked, and I nodded to confirm!
Meat re-emerged to the now-silent living room.
“Hey Meat! Did you have a good piss?” I asked.
“Huh?” he responded, wondering why I’d ask that question.
“We could hear everything!” I laughed, cracking up. “You forgot to close the door, we heard every drop.”
“Oh!” said Meat sheepishly. “Yeah.”
Laughter broke the tension, but I will never let Uncle Meat forget!