Record Store Tales

Part 208: Flashback 1995

RECORD STORE TALES Part 208:  Flashback 1995

November/December 1995 was freakin’ busy.  We sold a lot of discs that Christmas.  What we didn’t do was listen to a lot of discs!  No; our boss really, really liked Don Henley and TLC.  He played them ad-nauseum.  Like on repeat three times in a row.  I’m not kidding about that.  I distinctly remember the repeat.  Here are the Top Three Discs I Had to Listen to Until My Ears Bled, December 1995.

3. Boney M – Christmas Album

2. Don Henley – Actual Miles

1. TLC – CrazySexyCool

Trevor on the other hand was introducing me to Oasis and managed to get a few cool discs into rotation:

3. The Beatles – Anthology Vol. 1 (usually just disc 2)

2. Foo Fighters – Foo Fighters 

1. Oasis – (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?

We were also working with this new guy, Donnie, and we let him pick Dance Mix ’95 a few times.  Unfortunately, the Big Shiny Tunes series hadn’t begun yet.

I didn’t get to pick as many discs as the others — the boss didn’t like my picks.  When I did, I chose the new Def Leppard – Vault (Greatest Hits 1980-1995).

Looking back, there were also a few albums that I found utterly disappointing that season.  They included:

3. AC/DC – Ballbreaker

2. Lenny Kravitz – Circus

1. Savatage – Dead Winter Dead

All three were albums that I was solidly looking forward to, but largely disappointed me.  I never did buy Circus.  I own the other two, but only because I’m a completest (and I got AC/DC for $3).

Finally there were three albums that really got me through that season.  I had just been dumped by my first serious girlfriend and I was really angry about it.  Away from work (my boss didn’t want these ones played in the store) these three albums totally spoke to me that Christmas:

3. Alice in Chains – Alice in Chains

2. Ozzy Osbourne – Ozzmosis

1. Iron Maiden – The X Factor

Let me tell you something people:  I still fuckin’ hate TLC.  I’ll never go chasin’ waterfalls, ever again.

Next time on Record Store Tales…

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Part 207: Make ‘Em Say UHHH

RECORD STORE TALES Part 207:  Make ‘Em Say UHHH

Working in a used CD store, not only did we get to see lots of cool stuff, but we got to look inside.  Anything that appeared remotely interesting, cool, amusing, or weird, you could open up the booklet and have a look.  Some of the oddest things that amused us were the ads inside releases from No Limit Records.  No Limit is a rap label.  They heavily cross-promoted all their artists, and their roster once boasted Snoop Dogg himself for a couple albums.  You’d see ads for all their albums (all the art obviously done by the same people), and…sometimes…an ad for the talking Master P doll!  “Make ‘Em Say Uhhh!”, as seen below…

Uhhh! Na na, na na.  Uhhh!  Na na, na na.

Next time on Record Store Tales….

FLASHBACK!

Part 206: Rock Video Night!

MUCH

RECORD STORE TALES Part 206:  Rock Video Night!

Last time on Record Store Tales, we talked about Andy and Ashleigh and the discovery of great rock bands such as Rush, Max Webster, and Van Halen.  Andy was even more curious now about what great rock was out there.

Rock music is about so much more than just the songs.  There’s the concerts, the live experience.  There’s the history of the bands, the stories and the context.  And there were the music videos.  How could one possibly talk about a great band like Van Halen without mentioning groundbreaking, defining music videos that they made?  Since a picture is worth 1,000 words, I decided the best way to explain these things was to have a Rock Video Night at my place.

90% of my video collection was from the Pepsi Power Hour.  Back in the days before YouTube, a channel like MuchMusic would have an hour or two a week devoted to the heaviest videos in rock, and I tried to record the show every week.  I had amassed a large collection of VHS tapes, probably about 120 hours of music videos, interviews and concerts altogether.  That’s not including the hundred or so officially released video tapes that I bought over the years.  We had a lot to watch so I had to hone down the set list for the evening.

Since I am and always have been OCD about my music collection, I had a meticulously typed list of every track on every video that I made.  I carefully planned the evening’s entertainment.  There were some videos that I know these kids had to see.  They were all one musical generation younger than me.  They grew up on videos like “Jeremy” and “Fell on Black Days”, not “Jump” or “Go For Soda”.  I had to make them understand my time, when it was OK to have sword fights and dwarves and laser guns in your videos.

Ash and Andy arrived along with my other employees Braddy D and Chris P.  The set of videos that I chose to share with them that evening included:

SAVATAGE – “Hall of the Mountain King”.  Summary:  Dwarf seeks Mountain King’s gold.  Must try to steal it without waking him, while band is playing in the same caverns.  Not sure why the King doesn’t hear Jon Oliva singing.  (below)

VAN HALEN – “Oh Pretty Woman”.  Summary:  Lady in distress has been kidnapped by two dwarves.  A hunchback in a treehouse (David Lee Roth) telephones a samurai (Michael Anthony), Tarzan (Alex Van Halen),  a cowboy (Eddie Van Halen), and Napoleon Bonaparte (David Lee Roth) to save her.  (below)

ARMORED SAINT – “Can U Deliver”. Summary:  Band driving a Buick with armor and an anti-aircraft cannon seek a glowy sword.  Band plays concert in front of rocker dudes and scantily clad babes while wearing leather armor.  (below)

GRIM REAPER – “Fear No Evil”.  Summary:  Band drive a DIY armored APC on a quest to free long-haired slaves from an evil half-man half-something with Wolverine claws. (below)

MIKE LADANO, BOB SCHIPPER and DAVE KIDD – “Nothing But A Good Time”.  Summary:  A highschool video I made, lip synching to “Nothing But A Good Time” by Poison.  We had our English teacher do the schtick at the beginning where he plays the prick boss who gives the kid a hard time before the song comes on.  We made it in ’89 and it was our school’s selection to send to the annual regional Film Awards!  (below)

Rock Video Night was a great success in many regards.  The kids had a great time finally seeing David Lee Roth doing the splits in “Jump”.  Ash was still not won over by the rock, but that’s OK.  What wasn’t OK is that I had really sour stomach issues that night!  I tried so hard to be a good host, and I kept excusing myself, but…they tell me the smell was wafting down from the upstairs bathroom.

So, Rock Video Night ended on a rather stinky note.

NEXT TIME ON RECORD STORE TALES…

Make ’em say uhhh!

 

Part 205: Dad Rock

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there, and always a salute to the ones that are gone too soon!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 205:  Dad Rock

When Ashleigh started at our store she became the resident hippie.  Everybody loved Ash, she was one of the best.  I teased her a bit about hippie things, and called her Crunchy Granola. This was all done (and hopefully taken) in fun, because she is really a great person.  If you needed to know anything about Simon & Garfunkel, the Dead, Ani DiFranco or Dave Matthews Band, she was the one to ask.  She knew it all.

There was a generational thing between us, and I remember this was obvious when we were setting up a Father’s Day display.  We were looking for CDs and movies that “typical dads” would like for Father’s Day gifts.  I would say things like “Dads like World War II movies,” while she said, “Dads like Kim Mitchell.”

“What?” I said incredulously.  “Dads do not like Kim Mitchell.  My dad thinks Kim Mitchell is a girl.”

Ash gave me a patient look.  “Dads do like Kim Mitchell.  That’s what dads listen to now.”

“Cool people listen to Kim Mitchell,” I responded quietly.

I slowly absorbed all this new information.  Dads liked Kim Mitchell?  But Kim Mitchell was one of my highschool idols.  My dad  had no interest in doing his “Rock N Roll Duty”.  This must have meant that people of the Kim generation were dads themselves now…and had kids as old as Ash!  Jesus!

Kim’s dad is in this video!

A little later on, Ash start socializing with this guy named Andy.  At first I was skeptical of Andy because of his large gauge piercings and dreadlocks.  He didn’t talk much.

Turns out Andy was just shy.  Ash approached me one day.

“Andy thinks you’re cool.  He wants you to make a mix tape for him.  Would you be willing to do that?”

Taken aback, I said “Seriously?  Sure!  He thinks I’m cool?  What kind of music does he want on here?”

Ash paused.  She took a deep breath.

“Dad rock.  Stuff like Kim Mitchell and Van Halen and David Lee Roth.”

Once again, I paused to absorb all this new information.  Ash was with a guy who liked “dad rock”.  This was awesome.  I started laughing.  I gasped for breath, as my face turned red.

“Oh…my…God!  Andy likes Kim Mitchell!  You’re going to have to listen to Kim Mitchell with him aren’t you?”

“Possibly,” she mumbled.

“This is awesome.  This is awesome.  This is awesome.  I can’t wait to get started.  Seriously, I already have ideas.  Right on.  This is going to be an awesome mix tape.”

Good as my word, eventually I furnished a custom mix tape, with liner notes and carefully selected music to entertain and hopefully enlighten.  I wish I had kept a copy.  Unfortunately, I didn’t.  So in lieu of the actual track list, here’s the mix tape I would make today given the exact same circumstances.  Let me know what you think!

Side One:

Van Halen – Eruption, Runnin’ With the Devil

Kim Mitchell – Kids In Action

Max Webster – Hangover

Talas – NV43345

David Lee Roth – Shy Boy

Van Halen – Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love

Max Webster/Rush – Battle Scar

Rush – Tom Sawyer

Dream Theater – Pull Me Under

Side Two:

Rush – 2112 (Side One)

Kim Mitchell – Lager and Ale

Van Halen – Hot For Teacher

Rush – Subdivisions

Max Webster – Toronto Tontos

Kim Mitchell – Sudbury Saturday Night

This is not the last of Andy’s exploration of the greatest music of all time either…stay tuned for…

Part 206! Rock Video Night!

Part 204: An Introduction to sHEAVY

sHEAVY_0002

Back then in the olden days, you were actually expected to type that whole url into your browser!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 204:  An Introduction to sHEAVY

MARCH, 2000.  Saturday night.  One of our store owners was throwing a house party.  Tom, being the usual musical selector at parties, put a cassette on for me.  He rewound to the beginning and hit “play”.

“Mike,” he said, wild-eyed with excitement.  “One of my customers gave me this tape.  It’s the new Ozzy.  It’s not out yet.  This is a bootleg copy.”

This intense, guitar heavy distortion faded in.  The voice, also distorted and processed, was a dead ringer for a young Ozzy!

“Ozzy’s singing great, isn’t he?” Tom inquired mischievously.

“That’s not Zakk Wylde on guitar,” I retorted.  “I’d know if it was Zakk, and that guy’s not Zakk.”

Tom faltered.  “That’s, uhhh, the new guy.”

I called bullshit.  “This isn’t Ozzy.  It sounds a hell of a lot like early Sabbath, and it’s really good, but it’s not Ozzy.”

“Fuck!” Tom spat out.  “I can’t believe you got it so fast.  When I heard it, I truly thought it was new Ozzy at first.  At least the way the new Ozzy should be, you know what I mean?  Hear all that fuckin’ Sabbath going on there?”

I did indeed hear all the Sabbath going on.  In fact, of all the bands that people hyped to me as being “Sabbath-y”, this band came closest.

The band is from St John’s, Canada, and they are called Sheavy.  They kicked serious ass.  The album we were listening to was 1998’s The Electric Sleep.  The song:  “Virtual Machine”.  Often found on many bit torrent sites as a “lost” Black Sabbath reunion song.  It is not.  It is Sheavy, and that’s how close they nail the vintage Black Sabbath sound.

sHEAVY_0003The singer is a fellow named Steve Hennessey, and according to the CD booklet, he once had an audition with Tony Iommi and Black Sabbath’s then-producer, Bob Marlette!  What could that have been for?  An Iommi solo album, or Sabbath itself?  The CD doesn’t reveal.  “Special thanks to Tony Iommi, Bob Marlette, Ralph Baker and Paul Loasby for the audition and an experience I will never forget,” is all it says!  He nails every inflection that Ozzy used to do, it’s that uncanny.

I marveled at the music, and decided to buy it the next day.  I ordered it from Amazon along with Jalamanta, the first solo album from then-Fu Manchu drummer Brant Bjork.  (Even though I worked in a record store, there was no point in trying to order obscurities like these through our supplier.)  When they arrived, I was blown away by both.  I occasionally brought Sheavy to the store to play at work, and many people asked if this was the new Sabbath or the new Ozzy.  “Nope,” I’d say.  “This is a band from Newfoundland and Labrador called Sheavy.  They’re awesome.”

Unfortunately for a Canadian band, their albums were really hard to find!  A little while later, I picked up the next album, Celestial Hi-Fi, on Japanese import, from HMV.  The bonus track “Nine December” is an asskicker that made it worth the extra cash.  They’re just an awesome band, and they grew past the Sabbath-clone tag after a couple albums.  Unfortunately, toiling away in relative obscurity for almost 20 years has taken its toll, and the band’s future is uncertain.  For that reason I’m grateful they’ve left many great albums behind.

Tomorrow, we’ll look at The Electric Sleep in a detailed review.  Check back soon.

Part 203: Bitchin’ About Staff Meetings

east-side-mario-s

RECORD STORE TALES Part 203:  Staff Meetings

I used to enjoy staff meetings.  When we were a small  chain, we’d gather all the employees up after work at one of the larger locations.  If memory serves (and Lord knows we’re talking about 18 years ago now), the boss even brought a case of beer to the first one.  We’d go over ideas, improvements, problems, shoot the shit, it was informal and it was great!  It was one of the only times we’d have everybody together in one room.

As we expanded, that became impractical.  We started having meetings with just the managers.  These were a bit more serious in nature, sometimes heated, but we held them at a restaurant.  The boss would pay for everybody’s beer and food, which was really cool.  We’d have a good time, it was for social purposes as well as practical.  We usually held these “Manager’s Meetings” in the closest East Side Mario’s.  Decent, not the greatest food in the world, but I liked it.

MOTHERSIt’s a shame this wasn’t the 1980’s.  Then we could have had the meetings at a place like Mother’s Pizza!  Mother’s Pizza was the best pizza place in town.  I went there for every birthday.  It was co-owned by Ernie Whitt, the catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays.  Later on, Cito Gaston bought in as well.  Mother’s.  Now that was a pizza.*

Ahem.  Sorry.  I tend to lose my train of thought when I talk about food.

We’d mess with each other.  I remember my boss had one pen that he just loved.  Loved it.  Freaked out when he misplaced it.  He’d run around the store yelling “WHERE MY PEN!” in a funny voice.  So somebody sneakily stole his pen just before the staff meeting.

We went to Mario’s for the meet.  Upon arrival, he complained a bit about misplacing his pen, but got on to business.  A short while later, one of the store managers was casually writing with it, nonchalant.  His pen.  His precious…waiting for him to notice it in someone else’s hands.

Suddenly, he saw.  He pointed.  “MY PEN!  MY PEN!  YOU HAVE MY PEN!” he yelled in that funny voice again.  Kids at the table next to us stared, wondering who this guy was!

Yeah, those were good times.  But as George Harrison said, all things must pass.  I’ve talked before about “The Great Change”, when CD sales started to slump.  Budgets got tighter, things got more serious.  Staff meetings were moved to a stuffy boardroom in the back of one of our stores.  We started receiving extensive emails with the “minutes” from the meeting, the mind-numbing minutiae.  This was a long way from beer and pizza.  The atmosphere was dour and the meetings sometimes dragged on for 2 hours.

After the meetings, I’d sometimes shoot the shit with one or two of the other store managers.

“What was that?” I would say.  “I could have said all that in one email!”

“Was there anything said in that meeting that couldn’t have been covered in one email?” someone asked rhetorically.

It was at one of these staff meetings that Joe dubbed me with the nickname Señor Spielbergo because of my thick beard.  But in the later days, that was one of the few moments of levity.  For me these meetings were just a stagnant waste of time.  Hours upon hours of time that I’ll never get back.

* I hear they opened a new Mother’s Pizza in Hamilton.  Maybe, for future record store kids, the dream of a staff meeting at Mother’s Pizza is alive again?  I hope so.

NEXT TIME ON RECORD STORE TALES…

Fuckin’ sHEAVY!

Part 202: Smoking Makes You Impotent

Be sure to “LIKE” the LeBrain Facebook page!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 202:  Smoking Makes You Impotent

My journal is full of interesting characters that I met daily at the record store.

Date: 2004/05/21

[Co-worker] was coming in from having a cigarette outside.  I was inside helping customers.

A funny little old lady asked if peanut butter was good for fixing CDs. I explained that your laser cannot read through peanut butter.

Then she told [Co-worker]  that smoking made you impotent. [Co-worker]  said thank you.

There are times I do miss it — but not too much.   Never will you meet more interesting characters then while serving the public!

Part 201: Warren

RECORD STORE TALES Part 201:  Warren

Trevor told me about Warren first.  “He’s a big guy,” he said, “With big, blonde Sammy Hagar hair and glasses.  Nice though.  He was friends with my mom when I was growing up.  I used to call him Wookiee!”

Warren was bringing in some promo CDs to sell, and Trevor was giving me a heads up and asked me to treat him right.  Warren is a fan of a lot of the same musicians I am (guys like Ritchie Blackmore and Steve Morse) but his passion was bass.  His favourite bassist was Chris Squire of Yes.  So obviously Warren and I were going to get along.  We did, and he frequently came to me as his first stop for selling music, buying music, and making conversation.

Warren was trying to do a few music magazines.  He originally worked on a country music mag, but that wasn’t his thing and soon he started up Global Bass Online.  Warren needed help with some of the interviews.  He was really excited to be speaking to Victor Wooten, but he needed someone to interview Eddie Jackson, from Queensryche.  Queensryche were promoting their new CD and DVD, Live Evolution.  Warren gave me copies of each, and asked if I wanted to write the Jackson piece.

“Are you kidding?” I said, stunned.  “You want me to talk to Edbass?”

A pause from Warren.  “Who?”

“Edbass,” I replied.  “That’s how Eddie Jackson credits himself on the album.”

“Oh!” said Warren.  “Yes, Eddie Jackson.  I know you can do it.  Here’s a cassette deck you can plug into your phone.  And here’s Eddie’s cell phone number.  He’s expecting your call, he knows what’s going on.”

Wow.  Eddie Jackson was expecting my call.  Cool.

Warren and I collaborated on some initial bass-related questions, but he left the rest up to me.  He gave me tips, but told me that I was a good conversationalist  and that I would be fine.

I called up Eddie that night, keeping in mind that Seattle was 3 hours behind us.  Eddie answered, we had a brief chat and set up an hour the following day to do the interview.

The results of my very first interview are still there in the November 2001 installment of Global Bass!

Warren ended up following his dream and moving to paradise (Switzerland).  And we still keep in touch.  And maybe I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now if it wasn’t for his confidence.

nov2001cover

EDDIE JACKSONThe full, transcribed text of the Eddie Jackson interview can be found by clicking here.

 

 

 

 

Next time on Record Store Tales…

You meet the most interesting people!

Part 200: Just Another Annoying Day…

RECORD STORE TALES Part 200: Just Another Annoying Day…

It was a Wednesday in May, 1997.  Early afternoon.  This big, big dude with a shaved head walked into my store.  I greeted him, as I did all customers.  By all appearances he was perfectly normal.

“Hi there,” I said a few moments after he walked in.

“Do you have any Metallica box sets?” he replied, skipping the formalities.

I didn’t need to check inventory to know the answer.  The Metallica box set, Live Shit: Binge & Purge was huge.  It housed three VHS video tapes, 3 CDs in one jumbo “fat” case, a nice booklet, a “backstage pass”, and a stencil.

Legend has it that Peter the Rocker stenciled the “Metallica Guy” on the hood of his car.

There were other things that you might have classified as a Metallica “box set” at the time, but it was 1997 and there weren’t many.  The first Fan Can was out (1996), and there was the vinyl-only The Good, The Bad and The Live: 6½ Anniversary EP Box Set that we wouldn’t have carried (no vinyl in 1997).

“No, I don’t have any.  I know for sure that one of our other stores had one a few days ago.  Want me to check if it’s still there?”

“No.  How much will you pay me for one?” he asked.

“Well, that depends on a lot of things.  It’ll depend on if it’s complete, condition…”

Cutting me off, he abruptly said, “Yeah, yeah…it’s brand new.  It’s my buddy’s.  He has lots of Metallica box sets.  What will you pay me for the rest of them?  He has all of them.”

“All of them?” I queried.  “What do you mean by all of them?  Binge & Purge is the one most people are thinking off.”

“Yeah he has that, and all the others too,” he continued, “all sealed.  Metallica have a lot of box sets.  He has doubles of all of them.”

The dude smelled fishy, and it sounded to me like he was setting up a story in order to possibly go across the street to the mall, steal one or more, and sell them to me.  At this point, my guard was up and I wasn’t interested.  So, as diplomatically as possible, I addressed the big guy.

“Well dude, I can’t make any promises.  I can’t give you any kind of quote or promise without knowing what I’m buying.”

Cutting me off again, he repeated, “They’re all brand new.  Still in plastic.  Yeah, my buddy, he collects them.  But, uhh, he owes me money, and uhh…he said I could sell what I needed to get the money.  Can you give me $400?”

If I was drinking something I probably would spat it up.  “Umm, no man, listen, I really can’t help you out with that right now.”

“Are you hiring?” he replied, changing tack.

I paused, trying to keep up with the guy’s racing thoughts.  Even if I was hiring, there was no way I was telling him that!  I replied in the negative.

“No?  Can you hire me just for this afternoon?  I could lift stuff and help around the store,” he persisted.

“No.  I got it covered.  Thanks, I’m good.”

“I just need enough for the bus.  I have to be in Hamilton on Friday.  I’m going to Hamilton to work, but I don’t have a way of getting there yet.  Can you just, you know, give me some money?” I couldn’t believe I was hearing this.

“Sorry man, I really can’t.  Maybe someone else can help you if you go elsewhere,” I said, politely terminating the conversation.

“OK.  I’m going to go get those Metallica box sets.  My buddy lives really close.  I’ll be back in 20 minutes,” he announced, as he left the store.

I knew a guy at the HMV store at the mall, so I gave him a call.  I asked him to keep an eye on a big bald guy who might be eyeing the Metallica box set a little too closely.  He called the other music stores at the mall and gave them a heads-up as well.

Big guy was never seen nor heard from again!

NEXT TIME ON RECORD STORE TALES…

Warren.  Just Warren.

Part 199: Hooray! Hooray! It’s Stock Transfer Day!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 199:  Hooray! Hooray! It’s Stock Transfer Day!

A couple weeks ago, I was out driving, rocking to Kiss’ Hotter Than Hell.  Suddenly I realized the car in front of me was being driven by my former boss at the record store.  We happened to be going in the same direction.  I followed him as he pulled into the old record store, where he turned off.  He didn’t see me wave but from the stop lights, I could see him go to the back of the vehicle and pull out a big box of discs for the record store.

This brought back a vivid memory — Stock Transfer Day!  STD!

Twice a week, the local store managers were required to travel to a central location to pick up stock from the other stores.  This stock could include special orders being transferred from store to store.  The majority of the boxes were full of stuff for our shelves, and fresh jewel cases since we went through hundreds a week.  These would fill the trunk, pile up on the back seats, and once in a while the passenger seat too.

The managers decided to do stock transfer on Monday nights, and Thursday afternoons.  I hated Monday nights and Thursday afternoons.  The only good thing about stock transfer was the chance to see some of my store manager friends, such as the eternally interesting Joe.  It was during one of these stock transfers that I witnessed the immortal Open Door Piss.

What bugged me most about the stock transfer arrangements were that the time, gas and mileage on our cars was considered to be “part of our salaries”.  This part of it really sucked, as you could spend a good chunk of your night hanging around doing nothing, waiting for someone.  Sometimes a traffic accident or tie-up on the highway could screw somebody’s route home.  That’s just the way this city was(n’t) planned out.

So while you’re waiting for someone with some orders that you absolutely need, you’re sitting doing nothing, burning your own time.  This happened frequently in winter, but in the summer too.  While this is ensuing,  at home your porch is unoccupied and lacking in beverages.  And that is a shame.

Next time on Record Store Tales…

200th episode!!