WTF

WTF Search Terms: Musical Inquiries edition

Welcome back to WTF Search Terms.  These are real search terms that somehow led people to mikeladano.com.  Today, I thought I’d answer some people’s musical questions.

Click here for the last WTF Search Terms XV: Fan Favorites – Thussy Edition.

WTF Search Terms XVI:  Musical Inquiries edition

1. why is lenny kravitz last two cds a disappointment

Lenny Kravitz has sucked since cutting off his dreads.  Scientists call it “Samson Syndrome”.

2. whats the dirt on richie kotzen screwing bandmates wifes

Great question.  Kotzen was actually screwing Rikki Rockett’s girlfriend/fiance while on tour with Poison.  Kotzen later married her after being terminated by Poison.

3. glenn tipton can’t play anymore

Incorrect.

4. iron maiden lyrics “what information do you need”

“We want…information…information…information!” – The Prisoner

5. does blackie lawless ever talk to anyone? 2013

Blackie Lawless has taken a vow of silence and now speaks through a computer like Stephen Hawking.

6. i wonder book list of names in the rock roll band kiss used to be in ks benny gene simmons paul stanley ace frehley peter criss and vinnie vincent

I wonder what this person is actually asking.

7. quite riot mr roboto

No.  It’s QUIET Riot, and Mr. Roboto was by Styx.

8. did malcomb mcdowell sing in a rock band?

No.  But there’s this musical:

9. back street boys with guitar

Next.

10. lebrians bb pin

I am not posting my BlackBerry pin, thanks.

SAM_2571

Be sure to check back soon for more WTFs!

GUEST WTF Search Terms: Fan Favorites – Thussy Edition

Happy Friday, everyone.  WTF Search Terms is a series in which I reveal actual search terms that somehow led real people to mikeladano.com.  This time I asked my buddy Chris to pick 10 of his favourites from the pile, which he did — along with his own commentary.  Enjoy!

For the last installment of WTF Search Terms, Unsolved Mysteries edition, click here!
For more shits n’ giggles, check out WTF Comments, too!

SWAYZE

WTF Search Terms XV: Fan Favorites – Thussy Edition

Lebrain has wanted me to collaborate with him for a while, and I am no writer, so we decided to do a WTF Search Terms. He sent me a big list of weird search terms, and all I can say is a lot of people looking for porn found Lebrain’s blog. Also, no one can spell anymore.  So, keep reading below to find out my top ten WTF Search Terms!

10. google videos jethu tull too juong old to rock and roll and too juomg to died

“Me fail English? That’s un-possible!”

ME FAIL

9. boobsy animation whores wearing glasses acquire screwed hardcore 4 full animation

Someone was looking for some very specific porn, and ran into Lebrain.

8. toronto shemales tumblr

“If the girl did something to you but you didn’t do it back then you didn’t really do anything.”

7. videos da bada white snack

I had to include this one, because it apparently got 9 hits! Why?

6. oshawa women that like to fuck

Local easy girls, for when hookers are too expensive.

5. marilyn manson without ribs

Even I know that rumour isn’t true.

4. (Three-in-one!)
a. queensryche queensryche eyes of the strangers japan bonus
b. queensryche queensryche eye of the strangers japan import
c. queensrycheeye of the strangers japan bonus youtube

Japanese imports are very expensive.

3. sequined bathrobe

I think Lebrain has one of these.

2. poop in the shower guy

I remember when Lebrain first told me this story, still don’t understand why you would do that.

1. trailer park boys model train rod stewart

Where does Rod Stewart fit into this? “You know what, Patrick Swayze uses illegal parts. That is why he’s winning all the time.”

 

WTF Comments: Inaugural edition

WTF

WTF Comments:  Inaugural edition

Welcome to a new feature at mikeladano.com!  A spin-off from the popular WTF Search Terms, I now present to you WTF Comments.  These are real unpublished comments that were left for me, for whatever reasons.

First, we have “Tony Tony” (leaving me to wonder where Toni and Toné were) from Obregon, Mexico. Tony Tony apparently did not like my comments about the 1998 movie turd Godzilla:

tony tony aahh1985@xxxxxxx.com:  ad that’s because you all haters are A BUNCH OF FAGS COMPLAINING… HAHAHA what an asshole hehehe… the movie was great… and the soundtrack kicked your asses out…

Thanks Tony.  That doesn’t really need any additional commentary from me.

Then we have Max, from Russia.  In the past I’ve been clear that I will not share my music.  Max asked me to email him a copy of my “Get Your Hands Off My Woman…Again” mp3 single, by The Darkness.  As is my general policy, I deleted the comment.  A few days later, Max returned with this one:

max fedjudas@xxxx.xx:  I got this version, checkmate!

I didn’t realize it was a competition, but good on you.

This comment was sent to me on Facebook.   This person posted a comment using a word in a negative connotation that I personally dislike: “retarded”. I replied that it was now 2013 and saying that word in that context is no longer cool. If it ever really was cool.  Several people agreed with me, but then I got a private message from this person, Mike F.  Private presumably because he didn’t want to be publicly scolded by somebody else for using the word again. This is what he needed to get off his chest:

Mike F*****:  Retarded is retarded… Remember the meaning of it? Stupid… Dumb… Ya know… Retarded. 2013 and all its political correctness can kiss my fuckin asshole!

Dear Mike:  Welcome to my “block” list! Population: you.

Finally, we have the 164 comments that made up what I called the Neue Regel Saga.  I don’t blame you if you do not have the appetite to wade through that nonsense, but here it is, staggering in its absurdity.  The first time I had to close comments down!

Thankfully these flavourful comments are few here.  If you enjoyed this, and if I receive any more comments that make me “WTF?” then I promise to post them in the future!

WTF Search Terms: Unsolved Mysteries edition

WTF Search Terms XIV:  Unsolved Mysteries edition

Welcome back to WTF Search Terms.  Below you will find 10 phrases that people typed into a search engine like Google, which somehow took them to mikeladano.com.  The 10 terms below have one thing in common:  I have no idea what the answers would be.  If you can help out these people, post your knowledge in the comment section, or these may forever remain unsolved mysteries!  Enjoy.

ritchie blackmore private life

puff daddy’s embarring habit

michael jones’ ebay wealth

perks of living in san diego

make a wooden cassette box

solo pizza commercial tania creighton-castillo

knuckle dtaggers bikers kincardine ontario

dreadlocks security guard manchester

gorge and martin and elile and alice and donss facebook

what id the dimond sign minr when jazz and lebrain put it up in the

For more WTFs, click here!  Subscribe so you’ll never miss one again.

STACK

WTF Search Terms: McGangBang edition

Kyle makes a McGangBang sandwich. One Junior Chicken + one McDouble and some assembly required.

WTF Search Terms XIII:  McGangBang edition

Welcome to WTF Search Terms on your Monday morning.  There seems to be a clear forerunner in search terms that lead people to mikeladano.com this time:  dirty things!

    1. porn video lebrani gay
    2. wwwsexvedia.google.com
    3. sineplex sex mouvie
    4. cum disgrace
    5. www. fuk sexcom
    6. raging shemale tumblr
    7. top 10 classic japan porn. 1990
    8. flashing tits, san diego, 2013
    9. b cock.com
    10. tits añd sd
    11. don’t go alone porn
    12. that is my jovy,, i’m voyeur
    13. sex lebrain
    14. rio warner fetish
    15. hande sex starpicture
    16. german leather ass
    17. painvexen.com
    18. fuaking gali
    19. douche tales
    20. ane budi fuk me eyse le sexy store

If you liked this, you may also enjoy:  WTF Search Terms XI: Health & Safety edition

MCGANG BANG

WTF Search Terms: More Rock and Roll edition

WTF Search Terms XII: More Rock and Roll edition

“Here We Go Again” with more WTF Search Terms!  Everything seen below is an actual search term, that a real person clicked to somehow get here to mikeladano.com.  As David Coverdale might say, “Here’s some rock and roll for ya!”

  1. jon mikl thor arnold the beatles greatness (One of these things is not like the other)
  2. russ parish is god (Good, yes, God, no.)
  3. buyers for kiss albulms (What you got?)
  4. taking the rush blu ray disc out of moving pictures deluxe edition (It’s not that difficult, guy.)
  5. queensryche take hold of the flame cheap trick lyrics (Again these things are not the same.)
  6. used t-120 vhs recording tapes for kids sing along (OK…)
  7. cherone nice good guy (I wouldn’t know?)
  8. marilyn manson sucks himself (No!  How many fucking times do I have to tell you!)
  9. iron maiden gone too soft (Bullshit.)
  10. the demon code prevents me from declining a rock off challenge lyrics (ACCEPTED!)

If you enjoyed this and would like to read more WTF Search Terms, please click here!

DEMON GROHL

WTF Search Terms: Health & Safety edition

WTF Search Terms XI:  Health & Safety edition

Welcome back to WTF.  Everything seen below is an actual search term that somehow took people here to mikeladano.com.  In the public interest, today I thought I’d gather together health-concerned search items. (Missed the last installment?  Click here!)

  1. dr george morgan lebrain (I am only a doctor of Rock)
  2. doctors names and phone number in canada @yahoo.ca “+1” -spam (but I am unlisted)
  3. dude dont shit a brick (never a good idea)
  4. coleman biowipes reviews (great environmentally friendly product)
  5. open car door pissing (not recommended)
  6. how smoking makes you impotent
  7. pisser male door (again with the pissing)
  8. geoff tate spits on drummer (many viruses and bacteria can be transmitted through saliva)
  9. guys who piss with the door open (…?)
  10. how to loosen up and crack your neck  (very carefully is how…actually, just don’t.)

See ya next time for another batch of WTFs!

DIFFICULT TO CURE LP

WTF Search Terms: Iron Meiden edition

WTF Search Terms X:  Iron Meiden edition

It’s time for THE TENTH installment of WTF!  Like the others, this is a collection of strange/humorous/whatever search terms that somehow led people to mikeladano.com.  If you missed the last one, “Top ten edition”, click here!

  • who was the hunchback on the vban halen pretty woman video (It was David Lee Roth himself)
  • joe elliott kissing phil collen (No.)
  • iron meiden son so seven son yu tube 
  • mike patton quiet riot (I have no idea what these two things have in common.)
  • gene simmons rib removal (No.  Everybody knows that was Marilyn Manson)  :)
  • helix vedio tatoed guy (Snake the Tattoo Man)
  • beatles fan that send themselves in a box (?)
  • eddie “fingers” ojeda who odd is he in 2013
  • what did yall think of the movie machete (I liked it, how about you?)
  • why did steve hire blaze bayley (This is a question all Maiden fans still struggle with.)

See you next time!

WTF Search Terms: Top ten edition

WTF Search Terms IX:  Top ten edition

I thought I would do something a little less hilarious this time, and more just…I dunno…interesting enough to read over a coffee?  Sure, let’s go with that.  Today I thought I would share with you my top ten search terms since I started in March 2012.  All of these people ended up at my site.  Counting up (what the hell eh?) from 1 to 10, here’s the most popular search terms at mikeladano.com.  Note that some of them are essentially duplicates, too.

        1. paul stanley voice problems
        2. marillion radiation 2013
        3. paul stanley voice
        4. queensryche redemption
        5. 69porn
        6. paul stanley’s voice
        7. kisstory book
        8. black sabbath paranoid deluxe edition
        9. queensryche split
        10. mike ladano

I MADE THE TOP TEN!  High five!

Missed the last, much funnier installment of WTF?  Click here!

LeBrain as Paul

LeBrain as Paul