kiss

KISS – RANKED! – All the albums in order, by Jonathan Lee #2 of 2

Rest in peace Jason aka “Jonathan Lee”.

 

This was not easy at all. Some were, but most of them I had a hard time with. I had to go back and listen to quite a few to make sure I got this right. Mike and I talked about this, and we both agreed to include the four solo albums. We chose to leave out the live stuff becasue this is about the studio music. Had we chose to include those then it changes a lot because Alive! is my favorite. But on with the show.

So here we go. Worst to best.

LINK TO MIKE’S LIST:Β  CLICK HERE FOR GREAT EXPECTATIONS!


24 & 23.Β  SONIC BOOM and MONSTER (2009 and 2012)

I don’t count these two on purpose, because I don’t support them doing that.Β  Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer wearing Ace Frehley and Peter Criss makeup.Β  Because of this, I’m just not familiar with those two albums.Β  Next.

22.Β  PETER CRISSΒ  (1978)

This one was easy as far as what my worst one would be.Β  What a total mess.Β  I don’t like one song off of it and that has to make it the worst, because even on my bottom list, I like things on every album.Β  But that one?Β  NO.

21.Β  (MUSIC FROM) THE ELDER (1981)

I’ve tried. It has it’s moments but it’s just not doing it for me. Kiss isn’t Pink Floyd. No one I know of wants a concept album from Kiss. I mean and (Music From) The Elder? There was no movie. This was dumb.They all looked silly in that era. Everything was a mess. And it damn near killed their career. You have to think about it that way. Moving on.

20.Β  GENE SIMMONS (1978)

Now here’s the problem. This is The Demon. It’s anything but that. Disney tunes. All them background girl singers. This just didn’t come off well. I like a few songs but they not even that great. I expected some “God of Thunder” type stuff and got a lot of silly shit. I do love the ballad “See You Tonite”.Β  It’s nice. Next.

19.Β  REVENGE (1992)

Yeah I know. So many of you love it and that’s just fine, but I think it’s mad overhyped. It isn’t heavy like so many say it is (minus a few songs).Β  I mean “Every Time I Look At You”, “I Just Wanna”, “Take It Off”, “God Gave Rock and Roll To You”, “Domino”, all stupid.
I don’t know. I mean it does have some awesome tracks like “Unholy”, “Heart of Chrome”, “Thou Shalt Not”, and “Tough Love” (them chants suck though).Β  Anyway I understand many love this album so enjoy it. I barely play it at all. Next.

18.Β  PSYCHO-CIRCUS (1998)

Not much of a reunion if you ask me. Peter and Ace are not on this album much. I think only on the title track and “Into The Void” which are both great. And Gene does one of his best songs ever with the closing track “Journey of 1000 Years”, but this album is just a mess for the most. That Peter song is horrible. It just seemed thrown together and it was brought to you by lies and deception because this was not a reunion. I mean why, after all them years, is it where you can’t have all four on every song? It’s just 10 songs. So this gets a low ranking for that alone, and it’s just not that great. It has its moments but it failed to live up o what everyone expected. I got nothing more to say about this album.

17.Β  LOVE GUN (1977)

Look. Imma just say it like this. I love three songs. The title track is a masterpiece. As is “Plaster Caster” and “Shock Me”. But I’m sorry, “Then She Kissed Me”, “Tomorrow and Tonight”, “Christine Sixteen” (really Gene?), “Got love For Sale”, “I Stole Your Love”, dumb songs. This is my worst Kiss album of the makeup years. I’m not wasting no more time on this one. Next.

16.Β  DRESSED TO KILL (1975)

Again, I like these songs better on Alive!Β  “Ladies In Waiting” is awesome as it gets though. Gene just kills it as does Ace on them sick leads. “Getaway” is slap awful though by Peter. It just annoys me. Ace kills it on the solo though. “Rock Bottom” maybe one of the top intros ever put down on wax. This song is just amazing in every way possible. I could listen to that acoustic intro forever. “C’mon And Love Me” is a total gem. That one is surely up there in my favorite Paul songs. “Anything For My Baby” is lame. “She” is alright but a bit overhyped to me. Sounds like something Bad Company would write. “Love Her All I can” is alright. Awful drumming by Peter on this. And “Rock And Roll All Nite”. I never need to hear this song ever again. So there you have it. Decent album. But it isn’t one I reach for much. As I said none of these going forward are bad but I have to choose. I think also if I didn’t hear a lot of these songs on Alive! these earlier albums would move up. So that does play a factor in this. Next.

15.Β  HOTTER THAN HELL (1974)

OK, let me be clear on this one. I love it for “Got To Choose”, “Parasite”, “Goin’ Blind”, and the title song. Here’s the problem. I like these songs better on Alive! “Goin’ Blind” is better on Unplugged. I don’t dislike this album by any means. “Got To Choose” and “Goin’ Blind” are absolute fire, even studio-wise. I never liked some of these songs though on the rest of the album. Stuff like “Let Me Go Rock N Roll” is just awful. The title alone is silly and the song is just as goofy. I know so many love “Strange Ways” but I just never got the appeal. It isn’t bad it just isn’t what so many claim it is (in my opinion).

It pains me to rank this so low because I do like this album but this is where everything gets tough for me. I hate putting this here but I just don’t play this album much.Β  In no means is it bad. Nothing is bad going forward but I gotta put them somewhere. This one hurt though. By the way, that is a awful album cover. Not that it played any factor in this, I’m just trying to make myself feel better for ranking this so low. I need to move on before I cry. Next.

14.Β  CARNIVAL OF SOULS: THE FINAL SESSIONSΒ (1997)

Let me just say I love the songs “Master & Slave” and “It Never Goes Away”.Β  Paul goes in hard.Β  And Bruce just kills it guitar-wise on this album for the most. “Childhood’s End” is a damn nice Gene song. “I Confess” is pretty cool. I notice on this album Paul and Gene do more duets which was nice to hear since they use to do that a lot back in the day. I also find that Gene’s vocals are pretty damn top notch on a lot of this. Now I’m not saying this is a great album by any stretch but the songs that I mentioned are. I think they rushed this, and plus they had no promotion for it because the Reunion Tour with Peter and Ace came soon after this, so it was buried. It’s a shame because I think if they would have went back in the studio and worked on the bad half of this album they could have had something here. But if you want more modern heavy Kiss, this is it. Not Revenge.

13.Β  UNMASKED (1980)

Now this one is my biggest move up from couple years ago. I really like this album. “Shandi” is a hard NO though. But I love the rest. This album didn’t get the attention it needed because as I said earlier The Elder took them out hard for awhile. “Is That You” is a total awesome Paul song. Lot of Ace songs on this album and they all are awesome. Kiss was trying like hell to hold onto him.Β  Heck he had more songs on Dynasty than Gene.But he ended up leaving anyway. But Kiss did try and do the right thing. Peter you can replace but Ace…. They knew that was gonna be a problem because he sold the most of the 4 solo albums. He was the one who hated The Elder. He was the one who said this is getting way too comical. So they tried to cater to him and on the behalf of Gene and Paul what more could they do? Ace is my favorite but you can only do so much. Well Paul is really my favorite because he held Kiss together no matter what. So yeah, Ace 2nd. Anyway I find this to be a very good album and it is the one that jumped up most from my ranking a couple years ago. The songs are just good.If you were like me then I say give this a go again. It’s really good. Considering the turmoil during this era I think they pulled off a miracle. “Naked City” is one of best songs ever by Gene. And like I said, all these Paul songs are sooooo damn good (minus “Shandi”) and it climbed up 10 spots for me.I really do like this album so much now. “Easy As It Seems” I’m still touch and go on that one but it’s alright. So yeah go back and revisit Unmasked. It’s better than you probably remembered. Next.

12.Β  DYNASTY (1979)

Well what can I say? I like this album very much. I even like “I was Made For Loving You” and apparently a lot of fans do as well, since that song is a staple in their set list. Fine song by me. I think my favorite song on this album would be “Magic Touch”.Β  Now that is a great song. I always felt like that would have fit in great on Paul’s solo album, but least it is somewhere!Β  And I love ALL those Ace songs.Β  I won’t break them down because I think they are all great. I’m not a Rolling Stones fan, but Ace made that his song.Β  We’re talking about “2000 Man” here! I think they knew Ace was going to leave, so they seemed to try and make him happier by giving him more songs on “Dynasty” and “Unmasked”.Β  But it didn’t do no good, because he left anyway!Β  I really like the Gene songs on this album as well. “Charisma” is like a updated “God of Thunder” to my ears. And that is a good thing! The only song I do not like on here is “Dirty Living”.Β  Ughhhh, that song never gets no play from me. I fucking hate it. But that’s how it is with Peter sometimes. He’ll ruin a moment. So there you have it.Β  I’d move this album up some, but I think I like it just where it is. It is a bit better than Unmasked so that is where it will stay.

11.Β  HOT IN THE SHADE (1989)

Well where do we begin? OK, I love “Rise To It”, “Betrayed”, and “Hide Your Heart”.Β  Eric Carr is a beast on this album, as is Bruce. Paul and Gene sound top notch vocal wise. I think this one gets a lot of hate because of how long it is. But I just love this album. “Prisoner of Love” is a rocker by Gene. Bruce on fire in it! “Read My Body” is fun and full of groove! “Love’s A Slap In The Face” is fun! “Forever” is one of the best Kiss ballads ever. “Silver Spoon” kicks total ass. “King of Hearts” is another Paul gem. You all have to quit sleeping on this album! “You Love Me To Hate You” another awesome Paul song. I love that song just like I love most of this album. “Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell” another great Gene track.Β  I won’t go on about this album because I know so many don’t care for it. I’ll never understand that because I just love it beyond. And this album is much heavier than Revenge. See a pattern here. NEXT!

10.Β  ANIMALIZE (1984)

Only reason it isn’t lower is because of the first track. “I’ve Had Enough (Into The Fire)” is in my top 10 Paul songs of all time. “Thrills In The Night” and “Heaven’s on Fire” are awesome. But if those three wasn’t on this album it would be way lower. I like the heavy, but considering how great Lick It Up was/is, they went to this and it just isn’t close. All these dumb ass Gene songs. He was too busy doing dumb movies. Paul saved Kiss. Gene had one good song on this one. “While The City Sleeps”.Β  All I know is he better be glad Paul kept it going or Kiss would be dead. I know I’m coming off hard on this album but Gene just let me down bad after all his greatness on the Lick It Up album, where he had the most songs and they were awesome.Β  All of them.Β  Then he gives you this. Even Paul wrote in his book how Gene was just mailing it in,Β  and you can tell. Lacklustre as it gets, minus one song. If it comes across as me being hard on this album, well I am. I’ve always had it in for this album even if I do have it fairly up there. It angers me how Gene just left Paul to save this, but Paul being the champ he is, did just that. Moving on.

9.Β  ROCK AND ROLL OVER (1977)

Some awesome classics here. I love “Ladies room” so much. That groove is just sick. And one of the few Peter songs I like is on this aka “Hard Luck Woman”
The only reason this isn’t higher is because i prefer these other songs on the live albums. But I do love this one. I like the production. Just has a good feel. Like it’s the backbone of KISS at the best. It’s raw but clean. “I Want you” is a masterpiece. The way that just punches you feels good. “Take Me” is a groove fest and fun as it gets. AH AH AH AH YEAH! LOVE IT! “See You In Your Dreams” is a awesome song to roll down the windows and haul ass to. Just pedal to the floor! I don’t encourage you to do this but yanno.. So yeah a totally great KISS album. It’s a straight up classic.

8.Β  KISS (1974)

Well, it has all the classics we love, though much better on Alive!Β  So I’m not gonna spend much time on this one. It started it all, and it is one of the best to ever be put down on wax. Everything you wanted and then some is on this. “Kissing Time” is awful as fuck though. No need in going on about this album because if you love or even like KISS you are very much aware of this one, so no need for the breakdown.Β  It’s great.

7 & 6. ACE FREHLEY and PAUL STANLEYΒ (1978)

Look, I can’t fit them in, so they just going here as a tie because I love them both the same. I’m not gonna go into details about either because they speak volumes as they are.Β  I will say I do not like “New York Groove”.Β  I just never have. Sorry Ace.Β  So if I had to edge it out I go with Paul as my favorite solo album.Β  And couple on there that I don’t play much, but nothing as bad as “New York Groove”.Β  Next.

5.Β  CRAZY NIGHTS (1987)

Yeah, let the hate rain down. I know it’s coming. But I think Paul has some of his best vocals on this album, as does Gene. After doing dumb stuff on Animalize like “Burn Bitch Burn” he stepped his game up and put his focus back on KISS. “Good Girl Gone Bad” and “Hell or High Water” are amazing Gene songs. My main problem with this album is the bass. It lacks. Ron Nevison just isn’t a good producer. He ruins albums. This album would sound heavier with someone like, say, Mike Clink. But, is what it is.

Now, on to where it really shines. Let me first say “I’ll Fight Like Hell To Hold You” is in my Top five Paul songs ever. I just love this song. His vocals are off the chains.Β  I can go on and on about this song, but gotta keep it moving. “Reason To Live” is a masterpiece ballad. That’s all you need to know about that. “My Way” is Paul just nailing it. His vocals are on fire! “Turn on the Night” is a ton of fun. Makes you just wanna go to the beach and have a good time. This album in general is that. FUN. Remember fun people? “Crazy Crazy Nights”, c’mon. You know that is fun! A couple tracks on it I don’t care for are two of the Gene tracks. “No, No, No” — that is the dumbest song title ever. And a pain in the ass to type. I can never get it right. But I don’t need to since I never bring it up (well this time I did), and “Thief in the Night” is pretty bland. You kind of see a trend here. Paul carried KISS on his back.Β  He had to make up for the Gene laziness.Β  But yeah, a solid album that I quite enjoy a lot. Next.

4.Β  DESTROYER (1976)

My fave of the make up years for sure. I mean this has it all. Minus that awful song “Great Expectations” just WTF Gene? And I never need to hear “Beth” again. But man I love everything else on 10. This one gets me going. “King of the Night Time World” was first KISS song I ever heard and I was like yeah these are my guys. I think I was like 7. I won’t go in much on this album because so many like it as a favorite so I feel it has been talked about more than I can do it justice. But this is the album that got me into KISS and I’ve never looked back. It blew me away then and still does. “God of Thunder” still sends chills down my spine. I also feel like this was the last real KISS album where the original members were full on. Stuff went messy after this it seems. But hey, least they went out on top. Thank you KISS for getting little boy me into you with this album. Mad love to ya!

3.Β  ASYLUM (1985)

Now this one is where I felt they were at the heavy point. And Bruce Kulick is on FIRE. I don’t dislike one song on this, so it pains me not to have it higher but I just can’t put it over the next two.Β  This album is one I play lots.Β  I love “King of the Mountain”.Β  I mean what a great opening track.Β  Look, since I’m trying to get this done, I’m not going to go much on this one.Β  Just know I fucking love this album sooooooo much. This is a gem and minus the awful album cover, everything is perfect to me.Β  Amazing production.Β  Paul is on top.Β  Gene stepped up. Bruce is on fire.Β  Eric is beasting.Β  This is one fucking great album. I think I listen to this one more than others lately.Β  So there ya go.

2.Β  CREATURES OF THE NIGHT (1982)

Well, this barely — and I do mean barely, edged out Asylum but I give you two reasons. “I Still Love You” and “Rock And Roll Hell”.Β  And it’s sad that this album wasn’t appreciated for the greatness it was, but KISS kind of blew it with some albums like The Elder and people just weren’t having it.Β  Now this is looked upon as one of the best by many KISS fans, as it should. The drums are like cannons. Eric Carr will always be my favorite KISS drummer. This album is a fucking work of art. It just screams “amazing”. As much as I liked Unmasked and Dynasty this felt like hey man, they back!Β  They quit messing around with the poppy stuff like “Shandi” and such. This one is a killer from start to finish. If you don’t own this, I question your KISS fandom. Gene is on top of his game after some shaky grounds before. And Paul stays on top. If someone asked me “what KISS album should I get” and they didn’t have one, I wouldn’t be hesitant to say this one.Β  Yes, it’s that damn good. And you have to remember not everyone is going to like 70’s stuff so I think what they did with this album is they melded it all into one. You get the classic KISS sound, yet the heavy modern KISS. This album is sheer perfection. You should go play it now. Next.

1.Β  LICK IT UP (1983)

Here we are at the end. What a ride! Now, you may think I’m going to talk a lot about this one since it is my favorite album and that is where you will be wrong. I’ll tell you why it is number one though. “A Million To One” is my favorite Paul song ever, and “Not For The Innocent” is my favorite Gene song ever. I think that explains it.Β  And crazy Vinnie is on fire!Β  Eric is Godly on this. There is not one bad thing I can say about this album. The production is top notch. The songs are all great. “Young and Wasted”, man that song is so damn heavy it’s insane. This is the KISS album I go to most and will always go to the most. It is everything I love.


This has been fun.Β  NOW GO PLAY SOME KISS!

By Jonathan Lee

KISS – RANKED! – All the albums in order, by LeBrain #1 of 2

“Alright people, let me tell you something.Β  There’s a lot of people…well I should say there’s a lot of maniacs out there…who wanna see all the Kiss albums ranked!Β  Are you one of those people?Β  I said are you one of those people?Β  Well if you’re one of those Kiss maniacs like I know you are…then you gotta meet Mr. Jonathan Lee over here.Β  He may be young but he’s a rock and roller!Β  When he challenges you to make a Kiss list, you better believe he’s serious people!Β  So let me hear it!Β  You wanna see some Kiss lists?Β  Then let’s rock and roll all nite and party every day!”

Happy birthday to Jonathan too!

LINK TO JONATHAN’S LIST:Β  CLICK HERE TO SHOUT IT OUT LOUD!

 


24.Β  HOT IN THE SHADE (1989)

OK, so I know Jonathan has a boner for this album.Β  I have some personal history.Β  I was in grade 12 and Hot in the Shade was a critical album for me.Β  Kiss had to reclaim some integrity after the Pop Jovi of Crazy Nights.Β  And in terms of direction, they did.Β  15 songs, one ballad, hella diversity:Β  from thrash to funk to horn sections, Kiss were really going for it.Β  It was harder edged and keyboards were severely toned down from Crazy Nights.Β  Unfortunately, Hot in the Shade is the “kitchen sink” album for Kiss.Β  They threw absolutely everything at the wall and a few things stuck, but most didn’t.Β  The production was also lacklustre.Β  Highlights are the three singles, Bruce Kulick’s guitar solo on “Forever”, and Eric Carr’s first original lead vocal (and last), “Little Caesar”.Β  15 tracks, most filler.

23.Β  CRAZY NIGHTS (1987)

Another highschool Kiss album, and one that had me slightly embarrassed for my rock and roll heroes.Β  Paul was dancing in the music videos, not playing guitar.Β  Paul stated that he was writing on keyboards, and the album was bogged down with them.Β  Gene seemed clearly in the back seat of the car, with Paul driving and Bruce & Eric just passengers.Β  There are a lot of catchy songs on Crazy Nights, and a few misfires like “No No No”, “I’ll Fight Hell To Hold You” and…ugh…”Bang Bang You”.Β  At the time, it really did feel like it was the end for Kiss.Β  Breakup rumours circulated in the rock mags and they were not hard to believe.

22. Β PSYCHO-CIRCUS (1998)

The infamous “Kiss reunion album” is one that I play the least.Β  Overly polished by Bruce Fairbairn (rest in peace), this was not the kind of sound anyone wanted from the original lineup.Β  And of course, with the benefit of hindsight, we know it wasn’t the original lineup at all.Β  Tommy Thayer and Kevin Valentine played more on this album than Ace and Peter.Β  They were mere tokens on an album they were deemed insufficient to play on.Β  Psycho-Circus was a fail, with a few tracks that could have really meant something if the originals played on them.Β  Highlights:Β  “Journey of 1000 Years” and the title track.

21.Β  PETER CRISS (1978)

While I’ve grown to appreciate the Catman’s solo album more in recent years, there is little question that Peter Criss was absolutely lost.Β  There’s nothing wrong with following your heart and wanting to play some soft rock.Β  The unfortunate thing is that Criss didn’t have the songs nor the vocal chops to compete with the likes of Rod Stewart.Β  Peter doesn’t have the same vocal charisma to carry an album like this for non-Kiss fans.Β  And this album really isn’t going to appeal to 90% of Kiss fans.

20.Β  ANIMALIZE (1984)

Animalize sucks.Β  While it may be a platinum success due to the hit single “Heaven’s On Fire”, this Paul-led travesty is bogged down with filler that the old Kiss never would have bothered with.Β  The best song, “Thrills In the Night”, is one that Kiss have dismissed in the years since.Β  One of the worst songs, “Burn Bitch Burn” contains the infamous Gene Simmons lyric, “I’m gonna put my log in your fireplace”.Β  Not even remotely clever and only funny for how bad it is.Β  Gene was busy with the film Runaway and was pretty much checked out of Kiss.Β  The most interesting thing about the album is that future Kiss guitarist Bruce Kulick played on two tracks.Β  Jean Beauvoir, Mitch Weissman, and Allan Schwartzberg also played ghost tracks, diluting the real Kiss.

19.Β  ASYLUM (1985)

Though it sold half as well as Animalize, the followup Asylum was marginally better.Β  Bruce Kulick was on board with three writing credits, and the songs were an improvement.Β  Simmons was still checked-out, and Paul was left to do all the heavy lifting.Β  It did produce three singles, one of which (“Tears Are Falling”) was resurrected in the set occasionally on the tours after.Β  Β Sonically it’s a virtual carbon copy of its predecessor.

18.Β  GENE SIMMONS (1978)

Nobody expected this.Β  Gene might have had the most “heavy metal” image of the original Kiss members, but his solo album was anything but.Β  Climaxing with “When You Wish Upon A Star” from Pinocchio, the album ran the gamut from genre to genre, with dozens of guest stars including Cher, Joe Perry, Bob Seger, Donna Summer, Rick Neilsen, and many more.Β  The best tunes might be Gene’s folksy acoustic songs like “See You Tonite” and “Mr. Make Believe”.Β  Ditch the crap like “Tunnel of Love” and “True Confessions”.

17.Β  CARNIVAL OF SOULS: THE FINAL SESSIONS)Β (1997)

Not everybody was enthused about Kiss going grunge.Β  While I recognized it as the best way for them to survive in the early 1990s, the album was delayed and eventually cancelled by the 1996 reunion tour.Β  When it was finally released in late 1997, it seemed like Kiss didn’t even care about it.Β  There was no booklet and the original cover art was absent.Β  The album is notable for Bruce Kulick’s debut lead vocal on “I Walk Alone”, but the guitarist was already out of the band by the time it was released.Β  There are good songs here, particularly the heavy as fuck Gene songs like “Hate”, “In My Head” and “I Confess”, but the Paul song “Jungle” was the clear immediate highlight.Β  Regardless, it’s undeniable that this album was contrived and far too inspired by current happenings.Β  It’s like how The Elder was a strange pseudo-progressive one-off, Carnival of Souls is their sole pseudo-grunge album.

16.Β  SONIC BOOM (2009)

Back in the 90s, I used to imagine what it would be like producing a new Kiss album after Psycho-Circus.Β  I had certain rules I wanted the band to adhere to.Β  Two of them were:Β  no outside writers, and no outside musicians.Β  Just Kiss.Β  When Kiss finally returned to the studio after almost a decade, that’s exactly what they did.Β  The only difference was that Ace and Peter were gone, replaced by Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer.Β  They ditched the keyboards, the ballads, and the commercialisms.Β  They wrote and recorded a solid rock and roll album, and it’s not too bad.Β  A few songs could go – “Stand”, “Hot and Cold”, and “Never Enough” perhaps.Β  A few songs should have gone down as Kiss classics, “Say Yeah” in particular.Β  As a bonus, Tommy and Eric both had their first official album debuts as lead singers (“Lightning Strikes” and “All For the Glory”).Β  On the flipside, this is the point at which Paul’s vocal issues were first heard on a studio album.

15.Β  MONSTER (2012)

The followup to Sonic Boom was bigger and better.Β  It was certainly heavier, which some fans didn’t like.Β  The production turned some off, while delighting others who wanted the music to kick them in the balls.Β  With 13 new songs, there was plenty of room for filler:Β  “Freak”, “Long Way Down”, “Eat Your Heart Out”, “Shout Mercy”.Β  There was also lots of room for improvement, and we definitely got that with “All For the Love of Rock and Roll” with lead vocals by Eric Singer.Β  This classic rocker has a truly vintage Kiss vibe, along the lines of an old Peter Criss tunes.Β  “Hell or Hallelujah”, “Wall of Sound” and “Take Me Down Below” were also worth your listening time.Β  It was clear Kiss hadn’t lost it, but it’s a shame that this will likely be their final album ever.

14.Β  (MUSIC FROM) THE ELDER (1981)

Traditionally, The Elder used to be at the bottom of all the lists you’d see in magazines.Β  A misfire?Β  Absolutely.Β  A unique treasure regardless?Β  Arguably!Β  Kiss’ version of progressive rock is really just Neatherthal Prog, but there’s something to be said for that.Β  Songs like “The Oath” and “I” still have the riff power, albeit in a strange muddy mix.Β  Blame the cocaine that Bob Ezrin was doing.Β  “Just A Boy” and “Odyssey” are lovely songs if silly and bombastic.Β  The concept is baffling even if you put the songs in the correct order (as on the remaster) but The Elder has a certain naive charm.

13.Β  REVENGE (1992)

Revenge could be the most important Kiss album that isn’t from the 1970s.Β  They were shit out of luck commercially and musically bankrupt after Hot In the Shade.Β  They needed to right the ship and to do that, Kiss made several changes.Β  1) They heavied up.Β  2) They got back together with Bob Ezrin.Β  3) Gene got his head back in the game.Β  4) Gene and Paul even sang together again and shared a writing credit for the first time in ages.Β  Unfortunately, the biggest change was in the drum stool.Β  After a short but mighty fight with cancer, drummer Eric Carr passed away in November of 1991.Β  In tribute, the track “Carr Jam” was resurrected from the Elder sessions, featuring a Carr drum solo.Β  After his passing, Paul recruited the drummer from his solo tour, Eric Singer.Β  No real duds on this album, but there’s a certain flavour that does not match up with Kiss’ 1970s output.

12.Β  UNMASKED (1980)

Kiss’ most pop album by a long shot.Β  Peter was on the cover, but Anton Fig was on drums.Β  This album took years and years and much cajoling to finally appreciate.Β  Pop is a funny thing.Β  As rockers, we are conditioned to distrust and dismiss pop.Β  Once we learn that pop isn’t a dirty word, we can listen to Unmasked open minded.Β  There are lots of great tunes on Unmasked since as “Is That You?”, “Tomorrow”, and “What Makes the World Go ‘Round”.Β  What’s really special is that Ace Frehley had three lead vocals and co-writes on the album, including the hit “Talk To Me” and the funky fun of “Torpedo Girl”.Β  “Two Side of the Coin” was the third irresistible Frehley concoction, and possibly the best of the three.

11.Β  ACE FREHLEY (1978)

Though often considered the best of all the solo albums…is it really?Β  While certainly a great album, including “Rip It Out”, “Speeding Back to My Baby”, and “What’s On Your Mind”, there are some songs here that are not at the same level.Β  Still let’s not crap on Ace’s album.Β  We’re just explaining why it’s not higher on this list.Β  Ace’s was one of only two of the Kiss solo albums that rocked (Paul’s being the other).Β  Ace’s had no ballads, just a killer spacey instrumental called “Fractured Mirror”.Β  It also has “New York Groove”, the biggest hit from any of the solo albums, and a tune that Kiss played live in concert for a couple years.Β  You still hear it on radio and on TV today!

10.Β  DESTROYER (1976)

The big one.Β  The daddy of all Kiss albums.Β  “Beth”.Β  “God of Thunder”.Β  “Shout It Out Loud”.Β  “King of the Night Time World”.Β  You know ’em.Β  And you especially know “Detroit Rock City”, the Destroyer staple of all Destroyer staples.Β  Bob Ezrin took Kiss up several notches, for better or for worse.Β  His producer’s touch is unmistakable for anyone who’s heard an Alice Cooper album or The Wall.Β  He brought Kiss into the big leagues.Β  Destroyer might have some filler, though your experience may vary.Β  I could live without “Flaming Youth”, “Do You Love Me”, and “Sweet Pain”.

9.Β  DYNASTY (1979)

Heavy Disco.Β  Is that a term?Β  After releasing four solo albums to limited success, Kiss had started to backfire.Β  They needed something big, and that was “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”.Β  Kiss were always influenced by what was going on around them, but this time some fans were embarrassed for them.Β  Β There’s a lot to like here, including lead vocals from all four Kiss members.Β  Ace Frehley had three in “Hard Times”, “Save Your Love” and the Stones cover “2000 Man”.Β  Alas, Peter Criss only had one, a lucklustre “Dirty Livin'”, also the only song he played drums on.Β  Anton Fig played uncredited on everything else.Β  The end was nigh, but the album was strong with Stanley tunes like “Sure Know Something”, one of his best love songs, and “Magic Touch”.Β  Unusually, Simmons only had two songs and neither were as strong as Paul’s.

8.Β  DRESSED TO KILL (1975)

Of the original three, Dressed to Kill might be the most underwhelming despite the inclusion of “Rock and Roll all Night”.Β  It’s great – -don’t get me wrong — but I prefer the other two.Β  Over the years I’ve grown to love Dressed to Kill more and more for its deep cuts.Β  Stuff like “Two Timer”.Β  But the centerpiece is C’mon and Love Me”, one of Paul Stanley’s most incendiary guitar riffs.Β  This album and the self-titled debut share a certain vintage “rock and roll” production value, many steps away from heavy metal.Β  It’s quaint.

7.Β  KISS (1974)

This album and Dressed to Kill are a pair.Β  The difference is the debut has more classic songs.Β  Just about all of ’em in fact.Β  “Cold Gin”, “Deuce”, “Strutter”, “Black Diamond”, “Firehouse”, “100,000 Years”, “Nothin’ To Lose”, “Let Me Know”…that’s eight stone cold classics right there.Β  That leaves only the instrumental “Love Theme from Kiss” and the single “Kissin’ Time” as filler.Β  Impressive.Β  A lot of concert perennials came from this album, and Kiss won’t let you forget ’em.

6.Β  ROCK AND ROLL OVERΒ (1976)

After the lush and orchestrated Destroyer album, Kiss had two choices.Β  Continue along that road and see where it led, or try and recapture their rock and roll roots.Β  Although they would later attempt to re-capture the Destroyer vibe on Psycho-Circus, the choice was to go rock and roll again.Β  They recruited Eddie Kramer of Kiss Alive fame and holed up in a small theater to capture a “live” vibe.Β  They didn’t, but Rock and Roll Over does harken back a bit to their first albums.Β  Lots of classics here with “Hard Luck Woman” as the best of them.Β  A few duds like “Baby Driver”.

5.Β  LOVE GUNΒ (1977)

Kiss didn’t stray too far from the formula when they followed up Rock and Roll Over with Love Gun.Β  This time they had a strong batch of songs including the dual highlights “I Stole Your Love” and “Love Gun”.Β  Ace Frehley stepped up with his first ever lead vocal, “Shock Me”, and there was no turning back for the spaceman.Β  Simmons had a dud with “Almost Human” but also provided the classic (but creepy) “Christine Sixteen”.Β  Even Peter’s “Hooligan” has a primitive charm.Β  Love Gun is enjoyable any time, any day.

4.Β Β LICK IT UP (1983)

It’s neck and neck when it comes to Lick It Up and Creatures, the two albums of the Vinnie Vincent era.Β  Creatures probably has the better pack of tunes but Lick It Up is no slouch.Β  There’s some filler (“Gimme More”) but this is rock solid.Β  Deep cuts “A Million To One”, “Dance All Over Your Face” and “And On the 8th Day” are on the same level as the hits “Lick It Up” and “All Hell’s Breaking Loose”.Β  Then we get to tunes like “Exciter” and “Not For the Innocent” and you have an incredibly strong and heavy Kiss album.Β  No ballads, no pop, no compromise.Β  The fact that this is the first Kiss album without makeup is the only commercial hook.Β  Everything else sounds like Kiss were writing what they wanted to.Β  Vinnie saved Kiss?Β  Not really but two albums in the top five speaks to his songwriting and lead work while in Kiss.

3.Β  CREATURES OF THE NIGHT (1982)

Kiss were in trouble at the start of the 80s.Β  They lost a considerable amount of credibility with the “disco albums” and The Elder.Β  A European compilation called Kiss Killers with four new songs indicated that Kiss were ready to put the experimenting to rest and rock again.Β  By the time they had assembled Creatures of the Night, they had gone full-blown heavy metal.Β  My friend Uncle Meat would call it “heavy metal bullshit” because it was most certainly a contrived move on Kiss’ part.Β  The sincerity here comes from young Eric Carr, who blew the nuts off the album so hard with his drum parts that in 1985 they tried to tame the beast with a remix.Β  Channeling his inner John Bonham, the Fox was the star of Creatures, regardless of some very strong songs.Β  But all was not well.Β  He may have been on the cover and video, but Ace Frehley was not on the album.Β  Secretly, young Vinnie Cusano wrote and played on a number of songs.Β  Also a young Canadian upcomer named Bryan Adams co-wrote several songs.Β  In return, Eric Carr co-wrote “Don’t Leave Me Lonely” which Adams recorded,Β  Creatures was the last hoorah of the makeup era, and indicative of the changing times, was the first Kiss album with only two lead vocalists:Β  Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley.

2.Β  PAUL STANLEY (1978)

Now here’s a hot take!Β  Paul solo at number two?Β  You better believe it people.Β  I’ll tell you something, you know it too, Paul Stanley could write a Kiss song in his sleep!Β  Well oh-yeah!Β  And let me tell you something else and you better believe it!Β  Bob Kulick – lead guitar!Β  And people, every song on here coulda been a Kiss classic!Β  There’s a lot of people out there, well I should say there’s a lot of diehards out there who like Ace best.Β  Ace fans lemme hear ya!Β  But I’ll tell ya something else — Paul ain’t no slouch!

If the solo albums prove only one thing, it is that Paul Stanley was the only member of Kiss who had nothing to get off his hairy chest.Β  Peter clearly had things he wanted to do.Β  Simmons was able to indulge his every decadent desire.Β  Frehley was able to do an entire album true to his own unique style and personality, and being the heaviest of the albums, fans absolutely loved it.Β  But Paul’s is nine songs of quintessential Paul Kiss.Β  It’s what he would have been doing anyway.Β  But it is oh so very good with no filler, and some oustanding rockers.Β  Even the schlocky power ballad “Hold Me Touch Me” strikes the right chord, with Stanley delivering one of his best guitar solos.Β  Yes, on the ballad, that’s Paul on lead guitar!Β  Well oh-yeah, lemme hear ya!

1.Β  HOTTER THAN HELL (1974)

Kiss’ worst sounding album is my favourite.Β  It was inevitable.Β  It was my first Kiss!Β  And when I first heard it, it was on a kid’s Fischer Price turntable.Β  In mono, with the worst stylus.Β  It doesn’t sound much worse than that.Β  But that’s all I had for listening to records.Β  It didn’t matter.Β  I listened to Hotter Than Hell night after night after getting it in a trade at age 13.Β  I loved it, every song.

Age 13 was the worst year for bullying at my school.Β  I took refuge in Kiss, Iron Maiden, W.A.S.P., Helix, and Judas Priest, but it was mostly Kiss.Β  I didn’t have a lot of money so I taped the Kiss albums one by one from my neighbor George.Β  In fact I traded my Kiss album to George, as it was one of only two that he still needed.Β  I got a wealth of goodies in return, and he taped Hotter Than Hell for me on a Scotch 120 minute cassette.Β  Β So don’t talk to me about this album sounding worse than Born Again by Black Sabbath.Β  That’s my favourite Sabbath album anyway.

There is no filler on Hotter Than Hell.Β  “Goin’ Blind”, “Watching You”, “Got to Choose”, “Mainline”, “Parasite”, the title track…I would not want to live without any of them.Β  “All the Way” matters to me in a big way.Β  I remember singing it loudly during gym class, the only way to tolerate such a class.Β  No wonder I had no friends!Β  Only “Strange Ways” could really be argued to deserve the chopping block.Β  I know Jonathan doesn’t care for “Let Me Go Rock and Roll”, but he’s wrong.Β  I love when Kiss go old school.

The fact that my mom and dad didn’t mind me listening to Kiss, and bought me Kiss tapes when I asked for them, is one of the best things about my childhood.Β  I love you mom and dad,

And though not as much, I love Kiss.Β  And this is my favourite Kiss album, and has been since I first heard it in 1985.


We chose to exclude the following albums on our lists, but they all deserve mention.

KISS ALIVE!Β Β My other first Kiss album!Β  But this one I kept.Β  As a kid, live albums were not as good as studio albums but over the years I have grown to understand.Β  I love Kiss Alive.Β  Top five album.

KISS ALIVE IIΒ  Notable for its five studio tracks.Β  Bob Kulick played on four.

DOUBLE PLATINUMΒ  Worth mentioning for its new version of “Strutter” called “Strutter ’78”.Β  Also features a bunch of remixes.Β  A cornerstone Kiss compilation that makes a good “first”.

KISS KILLERSΒ  Four new songs, available only in Europe and Japan.Β  Mostly good songs, with Paul on lead vocals.Β  “I’m A Legend Tonight” and “Nowhere To Run” are important songs in my Kiss upbringing.

SMASHES, THRASHES & HITSΒ  Two new songs and the much hated new version of “Beth” with Eric Carr singing.Β  People hated the new Paul songs (too cheesy and commercial) and Eric Carr had misgivings about singing Peter Criss’ signature song.Β  It seemed that Paul and Gene didn’t want Ace or Peter to have any lead vocals on this 1988 compilation.

New and unreleased songs also appeared on albums such as Alive IV, Kiss 40, the Kiss Box Set and more.Β  We could have gone to town but this seems like enough to capture the Kiss that really matters.Β  I hope you enjoyed this list!

 

By LeBrain

#994: An A5 Canada Day

RECORD STORE TALES #994: An A5 Canada Day

From Jen and I here at LeBrain HQ, we hope you had an excellent Canada Day.Β  For us, we did things a little differently this time, and it turned out aces!

First, I awoke early and began work at 6:00 AM on two separate projects.Β  Musically:Β  the hinted-at, overdue Kiss project that I have been working on and must be finished!Β  This is a collaboration with new contributor Jonathan Lee.Β  We have taken on the challenge of ranking all 24 Kiss albums, and we (coincidentally!) wrote about 3650 words each.Β  We were in synch with verbosity, but not rankings!Β  The final lists will be dropped simultaneously in two posts on July 5, next week!Β  It was Jonathan who challenged me to take him up on this project and I think you will like what we both came up with.Β  It took a few hours to format everything right, but by the end of the morning, I had the lists ready to rock.

In conjunction with this, I was seasoning my new cast iron pan.Β  This had to be done in preparation for our Canada Day dinner’s main course:Β  a genuine Japanese A5 wagyu steak from the Miyazaki prefecture.Β  This expensive piece of meat is unlike I have ever cooked before, and I had something of a sleepless, anxious night overthinking it.

By morning, I had a plan.Β  The wagyu was going in the cast iron pan with some butter, garlic, onions, peppers, portobello mushrooms, and asparagus.Β  Therefore I needed to season the pan in the oven beforehand, and I spent several hours on that while also working on the Kiss lists.Β  For never having done it before, I think it turned out pretty well.Β  Its surface became smoother, and water beaded off.

In the afternoon we headed over to my parents house to use their new barbecue.Β  You see, having never cooked wagyu before, we decided to bring some backup steaks.Β  I was going to cook them on the barbecue the normal way, while doing the wagyu in the pan.Β  Meanwhile, Jen was roasting veggies in the oven with enormous amounts of butter and hand-diced garlic.Β  The garlic was intense, but to die for.Β  Her potatoes, carrots and asparagus were amazing.

Timing was everything.Β  We started at 4:00 PM with the veggies.Β  By 4:35 the barbecue was warming up for the backup steaks.Β  Meanwhile, the cast iron pan was warming up in the oven.

Finally, the moment I had been waiting for all week.Β  The moment that kept me up the previous night.Β  The moment of truth!Β  The wagyu was, as all the Youtube videos promised, delicate to the touch.Β  The fat began melting as soon as I touched it.Β  Although everyone seems to have different rules about it, I elected to keep the wagyu in the fridge as long as possible to minimise the premature melting of fat.Β  Then I seasoned with salt and pepper to taste.Β  In hindsight I could have gone a teeny tiny bit heavier on the salt and pepper, but you can always add that after the fact as well.

The cast iron came out of the oven and onto a hot burner.Β  Into the pan went a generous amount of butter and my veggies including several cloves of garlic.Β  A few minutes later, things were smelling wonderful and I flipped the steak – not before touching the handle of the pan with my bare hands though!Β  Fortunately it had cooled enough that I didn’t burn myself.Β  These new cooking techniques take some getting used to.Β  After a couple more minutes I removed the wagyu from the pan, and let it rest.Β  When sliced, it was somewhere between rare and medium rare, which was what I was aiming for.Β  Meanwhile our backup steaks were also ready at a perfect medium rare.Β  It was 5:00 by the time everything was done and rested.

 

A wagyu steak is a sharing steak.Β  It is simply too rich to eat like a normal steak.Β  I served up some portions for each of us, and we delighted in eat bite.Β  Some went with carrots – Jen’s favourite combination.Β  I enjoyed the wagyu with the portobello mushrooms, or a clove of garlic.Β  Because it is so rich, we tended to pair it with other things on the plate.Β  The cast iron did a nice job of creating a beautiful caramelizing on the vegetables.Β  The wagyu had a great sear.Β  The pan also cleaned up easily afterwards.Β  No stick.Β  I must have seasoned it right?

We barely touched the backup steaks (they will go into another meal) and we finished just over half of the wagyu.Β  This is what I expected.Β  I wonder what that wagyu will become tomorrow?Β  A stir fry, most likely.Β  Wagyu stir fry.Β  Looking forward to it — and many more meals with my new cast iron pan.

Having enjoyed wagyu at one of the best steakhouses in Toronto, my own steak stacked up well.Β  I would rank them just about equally.Β  Theirs had more seasoning, but our side dishes surpassed theirs by far.Β  Miles.Β  No comparison.Β  Our sides were incredible.Β  Modesty?Β  This is me being modest!Β  And all told, our meal was about a third of the price of the steakhouse.Β  WithΒ  more steak and more leftovers.Β  Jen and I both worked hard Canada Day, and it paid off.Β  Best meal we ever made, and we did it as a team!Β  She picked up all the meat, veggies, and even the pan.Β  We timed everything perfectly.Β  It went so well that we determined we don’t need backup steaks next time.

With the Kiss project, Stranger Things, and a massive dinner taking up my time, it was the end of the Canada Day before I realized, “Hey, I haven’t listened to any Canadian music today”.Β  So my friends, here’s some Max the Axe.Β  Turn it up.

#992: Long Weekend of The Lizard, Water, and the Scales of Justice

RECORD STORE TALES #992: Long Weekend of Lizards, Water, and Max

We rolled in Thursday night and it was so hot that we cranked open all the windows.Β  And that was it with any kind of warmth!Β  The rest of the weekend was cold, windy and required long sleeves!Β  Regardless of the hot and cold reception we received, I watched Brent Jensen and Alex Huard discuss Appetite for Destruction on Thursday Night Record Club outdoors as planned.

The music on the road up was, as always, good!Β  We started with Saigon Kick’s The Lizard, in anticipation of Friday night’s big interview.Β  It was tremendous fun to listen to such a great album, 30 years young, in the car.Β  Upon conclusion we played a tape of Max the Axe’s first gig with the present lineup, recorded August 4 2017.Β  Five years of Meat, Dave, Mitch and Max creating music together.Β  While the years have made them better, the live cassette of the first gig is good enough that we hope it will form the basis of their first live album.Β  The setlist consisted of eight tracks from the then-unrecorded Status Electric album, a Black Flag cover later finalized for Oktoberfest Cheer, and the Max classic “I Don’t Advocate Drugs” with Meat singing lead for the first time.

All Friday and Saturday, music took over the cold front porch.Β  It is hard to type with frozen fingers.Β  I am working on a major Kiss project that I will not reveal yet, but in preparation I played a ton of old Kiss on the porch.Β  Lick It Up, Creatures of the Night, Hotter Than Hell, Paul’s solo album, and plenty more.Β  When the Kiss was concluded, I moved on to Judas Priest (Point of Entry).Β  As always, it was a magical retro soundtrack that acted as a mental time machine.Β  I would have been playing those same albums back in ’87-’88.Β  The big difference being – I was stuck in my room!Β  Now the porch is my room.

One thing for certain. I would have loved it if I had the technology to do stop motion animation in 1987. All I had were my Transformers toys, comic books and imagination. Now I have that plus cameras and computers. I spent several hours working on animation. Let’s face it: It’s just an excuse to play with toys as an adult!Β  There’s nothing wrong with that and it was damn fun, especially with Judas Priest blasting in the background just like they would have in the 80s.

Saturday night we went for some nice walks and I shared stories of the old days.Β  No phones, no cable, no digital music back then.Β  The only way to was to haul all my physical music, and associated players, up to the lake to enjoy.Β  And enjoy we did.Β  Nothing has changed there except convenience and sound quality.Β  Playing the music that I bought at the cottage originally sure brings the memories back.Β  White Lion’s Big Game and Jon Bon Jovi’s Blaze of Glory were two such albums that I spun again in the old original setting.Β  I bought ’em both in Kincardine on cassette.Β  Hanging out with Bob Schipper and picking our favourite new tunes…great memories!Β  I remember putting the sticker for the JBJ cassette on the bottom of the top bunkbed.Β  Jen and I talked a lot, and perhaps there’s a number of stories there to tell in the future.

Three days came and went as quickly as a cool summer breeze.Β  All I have left now are the photos and videos to keep the memories fresh.Β  You can watch them now too, all edited together to the sound of a new remix of “Scales of Justice” by Max the Axe!Β  I think it’s the best cottage video I’ve ever made.Β  What more could you want?

#991: You Shook Me All Long Weekend

Jen and I took a Friday off so we could make a long weekend at the lake. With three days to ourselves, good food and good music were a given!

Music for the road trip up:

  1. Ace Frehley – Bronx Boy
  2. AC/DC – Power Up
  3. Deep Purple – Deep Purple

Upon arrival, I spun the usual Kiss on the porch, until 9:00 PM at which point I tuned in to Thursday Night Record Club with Brent Jensen and Alex Huard, discussing AC/DC’s Back In Black.

We filled the weekend with food (pork chops, steaks, trout, and veggies) and more music (lots of Kiss and Iron Maiden).Β  We enjoyed a few nice walks in the cool summer air.Β  Yes, it was a chilly one, but we still managed a game of Monopoly on the back porch, in the open air.Β  Our money never blew away once!

What did blow me away?Β  Listening to Iron Maiden’s Live After Death on the back porch.Β  It was like 1986 all over again, but only if 1986 had digital quality sound on the back porch!Β  We also played some music for Grampa Winter, who would have cranked Kenny Rogers’ Greatest Hits and “The Gambler”.Β  Except he did it on vinyl with some big old speakers mounted on the front of his bunkhouse.

Friday night I did an excellent live show with Rob Daniels and Harrison Kopp, showing off some incredible collectables.Β  This enabled me to do some stop motion with my new phone/camera, which turned out really cool.Β  The new camera is also finally capable of capturing some of the majesty of Kincardine sunsets.Β  I was impressed with the results and intend to use it frequently all summer.Β  Another feature is slow motion, which I used to capture some fire and waves.

It was over all too quickly.

Music for the drive home:

  1. Peter Criss – Out of Control
  2. Peter Criss – Let Me Rock You
  3. Criss – Cat #1 (Half)

I can’t explain why I chose those, but every once in a while, you need to listen to some Peter Criss.Β  So I did.

Please enjoy the video of the weekend, all the sound of Max the Axe, below.

#989: Moving In Stereo

RECORD STORE TALES #989: Moving In Stereo

It was May 2002 and I was a first-time homeowner.Β  My dad taught me, “Never rent!Β  Only buy.Β  Put your money towards something.”Β  So I trusted his advice and lived at home as long as could I possibly milk it!

Moving in to my new place took a day.Β  I had a lot of help from family and friends.Β  We probably had 10 or 12 people total.Β  I packed up all my CDs and insisted that only I handle them.Β  It caused me more than a little anxiety.Β  I figured a few jewel cases would crack, but there were some special ones I took extra precautions with.Β  Coloured jewel cases are hard to replace.Β  The most precious CD case to me is the 1996 Deep Purple In Rock anniversary edition.Β  The case comes etched with signatures and other text.Β  Breaking one of those means either living with it, or trying to find another copy with case intact.Β  I desired to do neither.Β  In Rock survived the move intact.Β  I would not be lying to you if I told you that this one little item was of more concern to me than anything else I moved that day.Β  My stereo equipment came in second.

Some people say they have a hard time sleeping, their first night in a new home.Β  I did not have that problem.Β  After a full day of moving, I was wiped.Β  But also eager to get going the next day and set up my new place.Β  Against the better judgement of everyone who helped me move, the very first thing I did was set up my CD towers.Β  Having those discs sitting in boxes really bothered me.Β  I wanted them out, so I could inspect them and ensure they all survived intact, and I wanted them accessible.Β  A long day of painting was ahead!

I cannot remember the first album I played in my new home.Β  Strange, because normally I’d commit that sort of thing to memory.Β  It was probably Kiss.Β  I like to use Kiss for firsts.Β  I do remember the first movie I watched.Β  It was The Phantom Menace.Β  I wanted my first movie to be a DVD, and I wanted it to be a Star Wars.Β  The older Star Wars films would not exist on that format until 2004.

I set up the CD towers, put the discs back in their alphabetical homes, and was relieved that only a couple cases broke.Β  I then painted around them.Β  Priorities.

The funny thing about these memories is how much space I thought I had back then.Β  I had so many empty closets.Β  I didn’t have enough stuff to put on my shelves.Β  To say things have changed would be an understatement.Β  Due to lack of storage, there are CDs everywhere in random order.Β  We need to hire a carpenter and get some proper CD shelving made for this place!

After a solid weekend of working, painting and assembling, I was settled into my new place.Β  I had my first guests over that Monday.Β  I loved my new place, but I did not have long to enjoy it.Β  The following week, I was on my way to Prince Edward Island, determined to find the home of Stompin’ Tom Connors, and eat lobster at least once a day.Β  Success on both counts.Β  But I couldn’t wait to get home again.Β  I had a new Deep Purple box set of official bootlegs waiting for me to finish listening.Β  12 CDs.Β  I only had time to hear the first three discs before departure.Β  And you can bet your last dollar that I picked up where I left off, with disc four.

Jen moved here in 2008.Β  It’s cramped but we make due.Β  Her illness set us back in the sense that we haven’t been able to move somewhere bigger.Β  But it’s home.Β  It’s our home.Β  It has 20 years of memories.Β  I’m proud to say that many of them are musical in nature.

#980: Uh! All Night

RECORD STORE TALES #980: Uh! All Night

My final year of grade school, 1985-86 was momentous.Β  I’ve written an entire 1986 saga about those times.Β  I had mono which kept me home sick for much of the end of Grade 8.Β  This meant plenty of music listening time while I recovered.Β  Music and comic books.Β  Discovering so many new songs and bands made it a uniquely special time.Β  Being sick wasn’t so bad.Β  It kept me away from the bullies while learning about Van Halen songs such as “Unchained” and “So This Is Love”.Β  I sat in the basement and watched a lot of Pepsi Power Hours, during (arguably) the peak era of the show.

Additionally, it was the year I decided my favourite band was Kiss.

Kiss were hot on the TV with “Tears Are Falling”, the first single from their newest album Asylum.Β  Kiss were one of those bands that just made me want to collect them all.Β  Although I had acquired some used Kiss records in a trade, Asylum was my first brand-new Kiss purchase from a store.Β  That’s a special thing, because it felt like a rite of passage.Β  A year earlier I would have been walking up to the counter with an action figure in hand.Β  In autumn of 1985 I approached the cash register with what was once forbidden fruit.Β  Kiss used to seem dangerous, even disgusting when I was a kid.Β  Here I was buying the new Kiss album, for the first of many times.

I like to think that I have a knack for picking the singles for albums today.Β  It all started with Asylum and their little ditty called “Uh! All Night”.Β  While “Tears Are Falling” was a really obvious choice for single #1, it seemed to me that album closer “Uh! All Night” should be second.Β  A lot of albums I owned back then seemed to have a handful of good songs, and a lot of filler.Β  Asylum has filler (mostly the Gene songs) but “Uh! All Night” was catchy from first listen.Β  It was also far more upbeat than “Who Wants To Be Lonely”.

If Kiss were out to corrupt young minds, then they would have been happy to know that my sister and I jumped around the basement singing, “When you work all day you gotta UH! all night!”

I wasn’t 100% certain what “uh!” meant in this case.Β  The Pepsi Power Hour was little help.

With VCR at the ready, I watched attentively as VJ Christopher Ward introduced the video on the Power Hour for the first time.

“What does it mean, ‘Uh! All Night’?” teased Ward.Β  “Do your homework all night?Β  I think it means do your homework all night.”

I figured “uh” had to be something naughty.Β  Partying?

The video came on, and Paul Stanley descended a dark staircase wearing a white captain’s hat.Β  He removed his overcoat revealing more sequins, reflectors and hair than I could take in.Β  Dated looking by today’s standards.Β  Β The epitome of cool for 1985.Β  All of them looked cool, except for Gene who really struggled to find the right image, until the Revenge era.Β  The stage set was cool, like a construction zone at night adorned with lights and speakers.

Kiss danced, and posed, and lipsynched up a storm.Β  Kiss were designed for pubescent boys like me, who were giving up on action heroes and discovering rock and roll.Β  And girls.Β  The “Uh! All Night” video was criticised for, of course, objectifying scantily clad women.

Funny enough, this is where Kiss missed the mark with me.Β  I liked girls, but not…not the ones in “Uh! All Night”.

I liked David Lee Roth’s “California Girls”.Β  I ogled the ones in the video for “Blondes In Black Cars” by Autograph.Β  I didn’t like the platinum blonde Dolly Parton lookalikes in “Uh! All Night”.Β  Not at all.Β  Their striptease with the white nylons did nothing for me.Β  After Bruce Kulick whips out a wicked solo with tapping and guitar faces, the Partons beds turn into bed/car hybrids with headlights and grills.Β  But the Partons couldn’t drive the car-beds; they had to push them.Β  Dozens of Partons pushing the car-beds wearing fuzzy high heels and lingerie.Β  It was ludicrous and completely un-hot.

At least Kiss looked cool, so I watched the video over and over, doing my best to ignore the Dolly Partons in their white beds.

David Mallet directed “Uh! All Night” and the other two singles from Asylum as well.Β  They all share a similar look, but “Uh! All Night” stands out among them, and not for any good reasons.Β  Considering the good stuff that Mallet did direct (Maiden, Bowie, Leppard, Queen, AC/DC and many more) it’s best if “Uh! All Night” just goes forgotten on a dusty shelf somewhere in the Kiss archives.

Sunday Screening: The Contrarians Presents “The Worst of Episode 1: KISS – Lazy Nights”

Creating your own “Worst Of Kiss” album is a fun concept.Β  I could certainly come up with some variations on that theme!Β  In this Contrarians episode, Marco and Bret each picked five songs for their Lazy Nights: The Worst of Kiss compilation.Β  Marco did one side, Bret the other.Β  And Bret is right that you could pick all Gene songs!Β  But that wouldn’t make for a real Kiss compilation.

Marco and I have some disagreements here.Β  I’m more in tune with Bret.Β  See what you think!

 

#965: The Collector’s Disease

RECORD STORE TALES #965: The Collector’s Disease

There’s no question I have the disease of a collector.Β  It’s undisputed and quite obvious.Β  I like to have not just one of a thing, but many.Β  I couldn’t just start with one Kiss album, I had to get more.Β  The goal was to get them all.Β  Having one GI Joe figure wasn’t enough.Β  You had to have as many as you could afford.Β  It’s marketing genius that this common psychological flaw was exploited guilt-free for so long.Β  Where did it start with me?

Perhaps my collector’s nerve was first tickled by Lego.Β  The more you get, the better stuff you can make.Β  Every year, new pieces were introduced.Β  In 1978 they launched the “Space” theme of Lego.Β  Prior to that came the new “Technic” pieces.Β  Right as I was hitting the perfect age for creating things made of Lego, they upped their game in a way that completely meshed.Β  I remember getting quite a few Space sets and several Technic too, including one where you build an 8-cylinder engine.Β  All you needed were more pieces to fully realize your creative visions.

At the same time, Star Wars had hit theatres and we were starting to collect the action figures.Β  This planted a seed.Β  Cleverly, Kenner included pictures on the back of every figure package:Β  Each Star Wars figure, numbered in a checklist style.Β  This was cribbed from trading cards, like Topps — another Star Wars merchandising brand we tried to collect.Β  Something about a checklist is an itch that begs to be scratched by certain personality types.Β  Hasbro recycled the checklist gimmick with their in-pack Transformers catalogues in 1984.

As I’m happy to recount the tale, I discovered Kiss in 1985.Β  Their new album Asylum was out.Β  The next door neighbour George had a bunch of rock magazines, and one of them (perhaps Faces) had a big full page Kiss ad.Β  The famed “Accept No Imitations” Asylum ad.Β  Simple branding, like Coke or Pepsi.Β  The “real thing”.Β Β They were really promoting the new Kiss in North America as the 20th in a series of records, including the four solo albums, two live albums, and Double Platinum.Β  Laid out in two rows at the bottom, checklist style, were all 19 of the previous album covers, including their release dates.

Like bells going off in my head, the collector’s itch needed to be scratched.

Gene Simmons is a lifelong comics reader, and he knew as well as anyone that Marvel had a monthly checklist near the back of each book.Β  He would have had many trading cards in his youth and was surely familiar with the concept of a checklist.Β  Whether that’s a connection or not, that Kiss ad really set off the fireworks in my brain.Β  I stared at it, studying each individual album cover, and the frequency of release.

I’ve detailed, many times, my process in first recording all the Kiss records from George or Bob.Β  The desire to have a complete set, buying as many as I could find while recording the rest.Β  The need to include the “forgotten” Kiss Killers album in the count.Β  I displayed all my tapes, either recorded or originals, in order by release date, just like the ad I had seen, except my taped collection numbered 22, including Killers and Animalize Live Uncensored.Β  Eventually in highschool (1987 precisely) I discarded the recorded copies and acquired a complete set on tape.Β  In the Record Store years, the process would repeat on remastered CD.

But wait….

While all of the above is the truth, and nothing but the truth, it is not the whole truth.Β  Kiss were not the first rock band I sought to “collect”.

Before I had that Kiss epiphany with the checklist, I can remember having a specific earlier conversation.Β  It would have been Easter of ’85, several months before the September release of Kiss Asylum.Β  My mom asked me what I wanted for Easter, and I told her “the new Quiet Riot” because “I want to have all their albums.”Β  I thought they only had two, and it would be an easy collection to complete.Β  But there it was:Β  the desire to have “all” of something.

Strange how the concept of collecting only latched onto me in some ways.Β  Atari games looked pretty on display in their coloured boxes, but we had no desire to get all the games.Β  Just the “good” ones.Β  Even with comic books.Β  I would buy issues of current books off the newstands, but did not go back to buy older issues, because they could get insanely expensive, and numbered in the hundreds.Β  Since comics always referred back to previous and concurrent issues, they really made you want to buy them all to get all the backstory.Β  But I didn’t — couldn’t.Β  This is exactly why Bob preferred only to buy limited series, like movie adaptations.Β  I guess my collector’s desires only extended as far as I could reach, in a monetary sense.

Today, musical artists exploit this common need to collect at lengths never before seen.Β  We’re still out there, trying to make it through an adult world, but now we have disposable income.Β Β It used to be you’d want all the albums, and if you discovered single B-sides, you wanted those too.Β  Then it became the bonus tracks, the deluxe editions, the super deluxe editions, and all the different colours of vinyl you get for just about every release these days!Β  That’s how they get us.Β  Next thing you know, you just dropped a grand or two on a Gene Simmons Vault, or $800 on a Judas Priest box set.

And we go along with it, time and time again.Β  Once the itch has been scratched, and the soothing radiation of a complete collection rolls over you like waves…the itch inevitably returns.

And so it ends?Β  It never ends.

 

#964.5: The Lists – 2021 Year in Review – Part Two

Here We Go Again:Β  End of Year Lists 2021

2021:Β  the year of the hamster wheel.Β  It sure felt like we were spinning our tires all year!Β  Sometimes inching a little forward in the mud, only to slide right back.Β  What a year.Β  But we did get some great music out of it.

Here at LeBrain HQ, if you go strictly by the numbers, there were two bands that dominated the year, both oldies acts from the 1980s:Β  Coney Hatch and Iron Maiden!Β  They (or members thereof) appear numerous times in the lists you’re about to read.Β  Not so “oldies” after all eh?Β  Five appearances for Iron Maiden, and a whopping seven for Coney and its members!

Even I was surprised by the lists this year!Β  All my favourite things, and the stats of 2021, are curated below.


Top 11 Albums of 2021

11. Polychuck – Shadows Exposed EP
10. Suicide Star – Isolation
9. Max the Axe – Oktoberfest Cheer EP
8. Mammoth WVH – Mammoth WVH
7. Danko Jones – Power Trio
6. Accept – Too Mean to Die
5. Smith/Kotzen – Smith/Kotzen
4. Iron Maiden – Senjutsu
3. Lee Aaron – Radio On
2. Coney Hatch – Live at the El Mocambo
1. Styx – Crash of the Crown

Top Five Box Sets of 2021

5. Kiss – Destroyer
4. Whitsnake – Restless Heart
3. Def Leppard – CD Collection Vol 3
2. Triumph – Allied Forces
1. Metallica – MetallicaΒ 

My Favourite Movies of 2021

5. Black Widow
4. Eternals
3. Free Guy
2. The Suicide Squad
1. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

(placeholder) Spider-Man: No Way Home – you have to assume it’ll be my new #1 when I see it!


Top 11 Interviews / Unboxings of 2021 (by YouTube views)

11. Robert Lawson interview
10. Sean Kelly interview
9. Suicide Star interview
8. Coney Hatch live LP unboxing
7. Andy Curran round three
6. Andy Curran part one
5. Paul Laine interview
4. Mike Fraser interview
3. Martin Popoff interview
2. Andy Curran + Mike Fraser interview
1. Iron Maiden Super7 figure blind box unboxing

Top Five List Shows / Deep Dives 2021 (by YouTube Views)

5. Top Concept Albums
4. 5150 Deep Dive with Tee Bone
3. Desert Island Discs
2. Top Maiden Art
1. Top Five King’s X with Martin Popoff

Top Reviews of 2021 by Hits

5. GUNS N’ ROSES – β€œABSUΠ―D”
4. STYX – Crash of the Crown
3. PAUL STANLEY’S SOUL STATION – Now and Then
2. IRON MAIDEN – SenjutsuΒ 
1.  – Off the Soundboard – Tokyo 2001


What’s in store for 2022?

  • The Book of Boba Fett
  • Jethro Tull – The Zealot Gene
  • Marillion – An Hour Before Its Dark
  • Guns N’ Roses – Hard Skool EP
  • new Sven Gali
  • Scorpions – Rock Believer
  • new Coney Hatch live with two new studio cuts
  • new Journey?
  • new Def Leppard?
  • Bryan Adams – So Happy it Hurts
  • Liam Gallgher – C’Mon You Know
  • Thor: Love and Thunder
  • Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
  • Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
  • Disney+: Ms. Marvel, Moon Knight, She-Hulk, What…If? season 2, Secret Invasion, The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special
  • The Mandalorian season 3
  • New albums from Ghost, Rammstein, Ozzy Osbourne, King Diamond, Weezer and more

 


TONIGHT.

Friday December 31, 9:00 PM E.S.T.Β onΒ YouTube,Β Facebook and also Facebook!