Record Store Tales

Part 277.5: Klassik Kwote – The Dandy Douche Strikes Back

RECORD STORE TALES Part 277.5:
Klassik Kwote – The Dandy Douche Strikes Back

SIXTY SIXI’m a pretty big Led Zeppelin fan, having bought all their albums more than once (and at least once more) over the years.  When this Robert Plant CD came out in November 2003, it was high on my radar.  I didn’t own any Plant solo albums (beyond The Honeydrippers), but wanted something of his in my collection.  This compilation of hits and rarities was perfect for my needs.

I was listening to it in the store one afternoon when Dandy sauntered in.  Always eager to criticize my musical selections on any given day, he had this to say about Robert Plant’s Sixty Six to Timbuktu:

“I was talking to my dad about why Led Zeppelin sucked,” he said.  “Now I know.  It’s not Led Zeppelin that sucked, it was just Robert Plant all along.”

Thoughts?  Weigh in below with a comment!

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Part 277: Sales Tax

RECORD STORE TALES Part 277:  Sales Tax

Early September.  Our stores were flooded with students new and returning.  This is an exciting time for many.  For the students, it’s another exciting year at one of our local colleges or universities.  For me, it was meeting and hopefully keeping new customers.  Sometimes though, there were some customers that were just never meant to be.

I remember ringing in one used CD for a customer.  He was a young guy, a new student in town.  If you’ve ever been a young student (Lord knows I once was) sometimes you run into those that “know it all”.  I was one of those, too.  This guy was one as well.

I rang in his CD sale.

“That comes to $13.79 please,” I said as the computer calculated the Provincial Sales Tax and the Goods & Services Tax.   Some, such as people with native status cards, are exempt from PST.  Most were not and had to pay the full (then) 15% tax.  Yeah, it’s a lot.  We Canadians pay a lot of sales tax.

“Is there tax on this?” the customer asked.

“Yeah unfortunately,” I responded.

“That’s wrong,” he answered abruptly.

Not understanding his full meaning I responded sympathetically, “Yeah, I know, but what can you do.  The government’s going to take their part.”

“No, I mean that’s wrong, that’s not correct.  You can’t charge tax on a used CD.”

Hooboy.  I don’t know where this guy came from, but he’d obviously never bought a used CD before.  I tried to explain, as a line began to form behind him.

“We have to charge tax on a used CD, because the government’s going to collect it from us whether we want it or not,” I said.  “We’ve been selling used CDs in this province for over five years now, and reporting it to Revenue Canada.  Believe me, if we didn’t they’d be in here pretty quick with a nice audit.”

He appeared stubbornly stumped.  Not understanding the concept of sales tax applied to the end-user, he repeated “That’s not right.  A used CD isn’t the same as a used car.  You can’t charge sales tax on a used CD.”

At this point I didn’t have much else left to add.  “Well, you can certainly check this out for yourself, but every used CD store here in town charges PST and GST on every used CD they sell.”  I fibbed slightly; there’s a store in uptown Waterloo called the Orange Monkey that seemed semi-legit at best.  They had no cash register, no debit machine, and charged no tax on anything in their store.  I don’t know how they did it.  Leaving them out of the equation, I continued.  “Every used CD store I’ve been to in this province has charged me sales tax on every CD.”

“This is really irregular,” he said frustratingly as he finally paid for his CD.

It might be irregular, but all used CD stores in this province still charge sales tax on used goods.  That’s a fact Jack!

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Part 276: Character Study – HH and Rasputin

RECORD STORE TALES Part 276:  Character Study – HH and Rasputin

HH (aka “Hobbit”) and Rasputin were regulars.  They came to T-Rev’s store first, always selling, never buying.  HH was known for her outrageous makeup.  Usually the lipstick started somewhere below the nose and went down to the chin.  Trevor used to say, “She looks like that woman from David Lee Roth’s ‘Just A Gigolo’ video!  Remember her?”

“DAVID! DAVID!  MY KIDS WILL DEFINITELY KILL ME IF YOU DON’T SIGN THESE PICTURES FOR THEM!”

That’s kind of how she looked.  Very close.  In the summer, HH wore these short skirts that were just way too little clothing.  T-Rev had to deal with her more often than I did.  I don’t know how he didn’t claw his own eyes out.  T-Rev tells me that once, HH pulled up to his store riding a little banana seat bike, wearing that short skirt.  He remembers her so clearly.  “Yeah!   The ‘hobbit’, the ripped nylons and the short skirt with her ass hanging out…yuck.  She looked like she had a Botox stroke in her face!” he says.

Rasputin, unsurprisingly, looked a lot like Grigori Rasputin, the famous “mad monk” of Russian history.  All he lacked was the long hair.  His long trench coat even remotely resembled Rasputin’s long monk robes.  T-Rev nicknamed him Rasputin, or Razzy for short.  He had a lazy eye.

They would come in, selling crappy scratched used CDs.  HH would often say she was selling them for her son.  That meant she had procreated, a scary thought in itself.  She never specifically identified Razzy as the father, but that certainly could have been the case.  Razzy never spoke.  When we would make an offer on the CDs, HH would turn to Razzy.  Razzy would either nod yes, or shake his head no.  Then they’d try to haggle.  Their CDs were rarely worth haggling over.  But haggle they did.  According to Trevor, “I remember her always haggling for a better price out of me…like ‘this CD is really popular right now with the kids’.  Fuck you!”

Those summers of HH and Razzy are long gone, now. I wonder if Razzy ever shaved off that black beard.   I wonder if she’s still riding that bike in her skirt.  I may never know…I don’t really want to know.

Part 275: Catharis (Second Anniversary special)

MIKELADANOMikeladano.com celebrates its second anniversary today!  It started with Record Store Tales Part 1, and here we are at Part 275!  (That’s one tale every 2.65 days for the numbers-oriented out there.)  A huge THANK-YOU to everyone who’ve read my stuff; as David Lee Roth says, “It ain’t no fuckin’ good without an audience.”  I also need to thank those friends that read this stuff years ago and told me to keep writing — they know who they are.   And my family, but especially the lovely Mrs. LeBrain who lets me rock and roll all nite and part of every day.  I love you sweety.

Enjoy this Record Store Tale!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 275:  Catharsis

Sometimes when I hit these milestones, I like to reflect on where I’ve been and where I’m headed.  Two years ago when I began publishing the Record Store Tales I didn’t know if anyone would read it.  I was pleased to find that enough people enjoyed reading these stories that it was worth continuing.

I knew when I started posting these that eventually, inevitably, somebody from the old record store would find them.  I made the decision to write under my real name, not a pseudonym.  I anticipated that while some of my old friends would be entertained by these stories, some would not.  I took efforts to protect the identities of the characters in the story that are not portrayed in a positive light.

I did a “soft” launch of the site.  That is, I began publishing the stories one chapter at a time, but I kept it to myself and a close circle of friends.  The response was very positive and constructive.  While some friends urged me to “keep it short”, one of the most popular earlier stories was one of the longest.  Part 16: Traveling Man was the story of a long misadventure in Oakville Ontario, climaxed by an encounter with an unpleasant lawyer customer.  One friend told me the story was “fucking hilarious” and that he anticipated from the start that the guy in the story was a lawyer.   This feedback encouraged me to keep going for it.  I was fired up.

Then once I had enough content up to give people something substantial to read, I did my “official” launch via Facebook, Twitter and email.  It didn’t take long for the rain to hit my parade.  As I anticipated some people from the store didn’t like my stories, but Spoogecakes was the only one to publicly voice her disgust, way back in Part 35.5.  The funny thing about this was that I hadn’t planned on even mentioning Spoogecakes in my story, but then she went and wrote herself in.  Oh well.

I never could have done a white-washed version of the Record Store Tales.  I tried.  Seven or eight years ago I tried something called “Record Store-ies” (lame title, I know).  Some of the “Record Store-ies” got recycled into the old Klassic Kwotes, but it wasn’t the satisfying, cathartic experience that my soul had been craving.  After the Spoogecakes shit-storm, I approached a mentor of mine about the situation.  I asked him if I had been too negative in the past, if I should have toned it down.  His response to me was something I have taken to heart ever since.

“If you compromise your art in order to please a small minority of people no matter how vocal, you will ultimately end up with a piece of art that you don’t like.”

That was great advice.  My bottom line is always, “Do I like it?”  I’ve tried to maintain a balance.  There are stories about people with whom I conflicted, but there are also stories about things like me shitting my pants in the store.   And I didn’t give myself an alias for these stories!

This isn’t just storytelling to me.  This is catharsis.  While I was experiencing everything I experienced in the record store, good or bad, I held tight to one thought.  That thought was, “When this is all over, at least I will have a bunch of great stories to share.  If I can entertain just a few people with these stories then it’s all been worth it.”   Spoogecakes commented that there are “two sides to every story”.

That’s right.  And this is mine.

Part 274: The Hawks

Eric Singer: The Hawk?

RECORD STORE TALES Part 274:  The Hawks

Everybody hates aspects of their jobs. One that I…well, I didn’t hate it, but I disliked it…was buying used CDs off customers. For every one person that came in with a bag or box of treasure, were five assholes with shit. But there were many “types” of sellers. Some sample negative “seller types” that I could see on any given day included:

“What’s ‘The Hawk'” you ask? I’m glad you inquired. The Hawk was among the most annoying type of customer you could find. I’m going to re-create a sample interaction with a Hawk-type for you. I call them Hawks because they watched us like hawks. Sometimes they’d just sit there and watch silently, but the worst Hawks were the talkative ones.

Hawk: “Hey how’s it going. I got what you’re looking for.”

Me: “Oh yeah what do you have?”

Hawk: “Used CDs that’s what! Got a whole bunch for you in this box. So how does this work? $5 each?”

Me: “Well, what happens is I go through them, check them for scratches, and then I’ll figure out prices for each one. I base that on how many we have in stock, the condition of the CD, what it sells for, and so on. So if you’d like to take a look around, give me about 15-20 minutes to do that.”

Hawk: “No that’s OK, I’ll hang here for a bit.”

Me: “OK.”

I’d start going through the discs, taking each one out, checking the playing surface. It’s sometimes a long process. You had to keep an eye on the packaging as well, so many people sold CDs with the wrong discs inside. If I bought one like that, I’d be responsible for my mistake monetarily. The talkative Hawks would question every single move.

SILKHawk: “What’s that pile? Is that for all country CDs?”

Me: “No…that’s the pile that’s in good shape.”

Hawk: “Then what are those piles?”

Me: “Those are ones I’m passing on.”

Hawk: “What for? Those are good CDs. There’s some old Boz Scaggs in there. He’s hard to find.”

Me: “Some of them are just a tad too scratched for me to take. But if you give me some time I’ll get myself organized here and then I can explain what I’ve done.”

Hawk: “Nah I like watching. Now that CD there, that’s a double.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I’ve seen this album a few times.”

Hawk: “And that one there? That’s an import. Guy at HMV charged me $30 for that thing, and it only has the one good song! You’re gonna give me at least $10 for it right?”

Me: “Well, I can tell you right now I can’t give you $10, but I haven’t priced any of these yet so I’m not quite there.”

Hawk: “That one’s good. You ever heard of this guy before?”

Me: “Pat Travers? Yes.”

Hawk: “Really? Where’s a young guy like you hear of Pat Travers?”

Me: “I’m 30.”

You guys think I’m making this up? Hell no! Maybe not all in one conversation, but these are all things that have been said to me by various Hawks over the years! Anyway at this point I could end up with a dozen piles of CDs in front of me.

Me: “OK, so what we have here are all CDs that have minor blemishes on them. I can take them but for a little less because we have to get them polished up. So from left to right I can give you $1 each, $2…”

Hawk: “$1 for these?”

Me: “Yes, the sticker price on those are fairly low…”

Hawk: “But I paid $20 for this at HMV!”

Me: “I know but that CD has dropped in price drastically since it came out. It’s a budget price disc now.”

Hawk: “Alright, alright, go on.”

Me: “$2 each, $3 each and $4 for those.”

Hawk: “But that’s a double.”

Me: “I know, but both discs are scuffed so I have to get both fixed, and it also sells for about the price of a single CD.”

Hawk: “Show me these scuffs you’re talking about.”

So I’d hand him a CD and point out the marks. Hawk would say, “That’ll just wipe off,” and then proceed to wipe the CD on his T-shirt and hand it back to me.

CRASHMe: “Yeah, that’s…that’s still scratched. Anyway, that’s those, you can certainly hang onto them if you want. As for these, these were all in excellent shape. For these I can go $2 each, $3 each…”

Hawk: “$3 for Pat Travers? Do you know how hard to get this is?”

Me: “OK, I’ll give you $4 on that one, but I can’t go any higher because it’s a budget CD these days. You can get it at HMV’s website brand new for about $11.”

Hawk: “I’m keeping my Pat Travers. My buddy offered me $10 for that one, he said it’s hard to get. I told him I was going to you first, because you guys say you offer the best prices in town.”

Me: “Yeah, sure, if he’s going to give you $10 for it, I would say go for it, that is a good deal for both of you.”

Hawk: “Gimme $10 for Travers and I’ll throw in this whole pile of CDs for free.”

Me: “But that’s the pile of CDs that I can’t take because they’re too scratched.”

Hawk: “So sell them at a buck a piece and you’re still making money.”

VALUEMe: “I’m sorry I can’t do that.”

Hawk: “Why not? Somebody will buy them. Just put the box out with a sticker that says $15 for the whole box and you’re gonna sell it.”

Me: “We don’t really sell stuff by the box…never mind, I just can’t take them, sorry about that.”

Hawk: “Alright. So what’s that come to? $100 and we’ll call it a deal.”

Me: “I can give you $80 cash or $90 store credit.”

Hawk: “$90.”

Me: “You want the store credit?”

Hawk: “No, you give me $90 cash and we’ll call it done.”

Me: “I’ll give you $80 cash and that’s a good deal.”

Hawk: “$90 and I give you this box of CDs.”

Me: “I can’t take those.”

Hawk: “Jesus, what happened to negotiation? I’ll take the $80!”

The Hawks. Reason #87 that I disliked buying used goods off the public!

Part 273: Purp Ate My Balls Redux: Special Edition

RECORD STORE TALES Part 273:
Purp Ate My Balls Redux: Special Edition

I am thrilled to have discovered all the missing pictures of the infamous “Purp Ate My Balls” gallery.  This isn’t everyone who owned the shirt, just the ones who took pictures.

What’s the “Purp Ate My Balls” shirt?  Well, to quote the original story, Part 227:

10 years ago my online handle was “Purpendicular.”  (Gee, where did I get that name from?)  ”Purp” made a good short-form nickname.  For whatever reason…and believe me I wish I could remember…Sarge decided to make and give out 40 or 50 “Purp Ate My Balls” shirts!  He gave them to all his shop employees (Metal Fatigue in Bournemouth) and I’m pretty sure all the Klopeks ended up with them too.

Here’s a whole lotta pictures of English people wearing me on their shirts!

“Purp Ate My Balls”

I also found the original photo that started it all!

PURP ATE MY BALLS

Part 272: Priest Week – The Re-Masters

PRIEST WEEK

It’s the end of PRIEST WEEK! It was all Judas Priest all week, and what better way to end it then with a 12 CD remastered box set?
Monday:  Rocka Rolla (1974)
Tuesday: Priest…Live! (1987)
Wednesday: Metal Works 73-93 (1993)
Thursday: Demolition (2001 Japanese version)

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 272:  PRIEST WEEK – The Re-Masters

When Judas Priest began reissuing their albums in 2001 (in three waves of four CDs each), of course I had to have all 12.  I’ve been a fan of the band since I was a kid, and my complete Judas Priest collection has always brought me much joy.  Priest’s “Re-masters” series included all the studio and live albums from 1977’s Sin After Sin to 1990’s Painkiller.  Each was expanded with two bonus tracks, with the exception of the live albums.  Unleashed in the East contained the four bonus tracks from the Japanese Priest in the East release (which I already had) and Priest…Live had three extra songs.  (Today, there is a new budget box set that collects the entire Halford era into one box called The Complete Albums Collection.)

In late 2001, local record store legend Al “the King” dropped into my store to sell some discs.  Nimble-minded readers will recall that on day 1 of Priest Week, Al King sold me my vinyl copy of Rocka Rolla in 1989!  Al now worked at another store in town called Encore Records.  Al’s a good guy.  He didn’t see us so much as competition, because really we catered to different groups of people.  There were certain discs that Al couldn’t sell at Encore (pop and mainstream stuff), and he knew I would give him the fairest prices in town, so he came to me.  It was a good mutually beneficial arrangement.  I wanted his stock and he wanted the money!

On this afternoon, I chatted with Al while going through his discs, and he informed me of a forthcoming Priest collectible.

“It’s expensive,” he began, “but it does look cool.  It’s a UK import.  I sold one to this really excited guy, but Mark’s trying to order another one in.  If you want it no problem, but fair warning, it’s not cheap.”

“Tell me more!” I said to Al.

PRIEST WORKINGThe details were scant.  The box set was titled The Re-Masters, and it contained four CDs with room for the other eight, sold separately.  The CDs included with the box were the first four of the Columbia years:  Sin After Sin, Stained Class, Killing Machine (Hell Bent for Leather) and Unleashed in the East.  It was an attractive box, printed to look like it is held together by metal rivets.  There was also supposed to be a booklet included.  At the time, I was obsessed with collecting the “best” versions of anything.  This meant having all the songs, and the best packaging available.  I asked Al to hold the box for me.  At various points in the conversation, I felt like Al was trying to talk me out of buying it due to the price!  What Al didn’t understand was my deep obsession for this band.

A few days later I headed down to Encore and bought my treasure.  I eagerly opened it up and discovered one little additional bonus!  Nothing major, but cool enough for me:  the four CDs included had embossed silver logos on both front and back covers, instead of the regular printed ones.  This differentiated the discs from the versions I could buy separately at retail.  Also, Hell Bent for Leather was indeed included under the UK name Killing Machine, something I hadn’t seen on CD before. Finally, once all 12 discs were collected, together the CD spines read JUDAS PRIEST and depicted their “devil’s tuning fork” logo.  The spaces for the 8 discs sold separately were taken up by individual foam spacers.

Back covers with silver embossed “tuning fork” logo, and without.

The bonus tracks were a mixed bag of live and demo songs from all over Priest history, but some, such as “Race With the Devil” (The Gun cover) were incredible and classic.  One by one, I added to the set.  Some discs came in used rather quickly:  Point of Entry was one such disc.  Others I had to order via Amazon, or buy in-store at Encore, such as Turbo and Painkiller.  But I did get them all, and my complete Priest Re-Masters set has served me well for over a decade now.  Although I have since bought the newer deluxe editions of Screaming for Vengeance and British Steel (with bonus DVDs) I have felt no need to replace this box set with anything else.  Having to buy the discs individually and complete it myself makes it rare to find, not to mention the box was made only in small numbers.  Some fans expected more out of the box set, and some were upset that the Gull Records and Ripper Owens years are not represented inside, even though Ripper was still the current singer.  My attitude was and is, “Who cares?”  It’s a great looking set and it comprises a complete era of Priest.  I like it a lot and according to Al King I’m one of two guys in town that own it.  Cool.

Part 271: The Stamp

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 271:  The Stamp

The year:  1997.

We had just started repairing scratched CDs via a GTA-based third party contractor.  They were able to remove a miniscule layer of plastic from the playing surface, rendering a smooth surface that would not deflect your CD player’s laser.  The result was a playable, sellable CD, with a clouded appearance on the CD itself.  The cloudy look was usually very minor, although it was sometimes enough to turn a customer off of buying the CD.

After repairing the scratched discs, they would be put in brand new CD cases and then on the shelves to sell.  But we also had to mark each disc as “repaired” somehow, so that if any were returned as defective, we would know they had been fixed.  We could then get the fee for fixing the disc credited back to us, or the contractor could try to fix it again and buff it deeper.  Either way, we needed to mark them, somehow.

The best way to fix a surface scratched CD

We agreed that the least problematic way was to stamp the inner (usually blank and hidden) sleeve of the CD, the part underneath the plastic tray.  We stamped it with our store logo.  For most discs at the time, nobody would ever notice the stamp unless they pulled the case apart.  The only problems were with discs that had inner picture sleeves under clear trays.  We were forced to put the stamp directly on the artwork in those cases, a process that killed me every time.  I hated defacing a CD.  It’s not something I would ever do to my own property.

IMG_00001317Around this time, AC/DC just released the luxurious Bonfire box set, a monolith of rock containing many separate additional treats:  A pick, a bottle opener/keychain, a sticker, and a temporary tattoo.  This was high on my priority list, so I put my name in our store’s computer reservation system for the first used copy that showed up.

It was only a few weeks before a used copy did show up.  One of the higher-ups decided to work in my store that day.  A man came to the counter with some CDs to sell, and the Bonfire box set.  It was mint, complete, everything intact.  However the higher-up didn’t consider the set as “mint” as I did; she determined that one of the CDs from the Let There Be Rock set was scratched.  It had a tiny nearly invisible mark on it not even the size of a hair, but not a scratch.  She dutifully stamped the inner tray and put the CD in the pile to be sent out and fixed.

I was disappointed that the tray had been defaced, but there was no way I was letting that disc get sent out and fixed.  It would look worse, with the cloudy finish.  I preferred the un-fixed finish with that tiny hairline mark that I could barely see.  I can see the scratch even less today with my aged eyesight!

I bought the set but that stamp is still there.  I covered it up with a white sticker, and was grateful that the box set didn’t have clear CD trays with artwork underneath.

That stamp still bugs me.  I still see it there, and it still bugs me!  How do you feel about things like this?  Defects in the physical musical product that you love?  I know I can’t be alone.

Postscript:  Years later some damn rat kid stole the stamper.  On my watch!!

Part 270: Star Trek vs. Star Wars

Dedicated to David “Homer”

KIRK VADER

RECORD STORE TALES Part 270:  Star Trek vs. Star Wars

I took my fair share of ribbing for being a Star Trek fan at the record store.  I’ve been a Star Trek fan since I was a little kid – I had a kid’s size Scotty uniform shirt.  The first episode I can remember seeing was Operation: Annihilate!  It terrified and excited me at the same time, and I couldn’t believe the heroism of Mr. Spock.  He was my favourite character by far.  Kirk was always getting distracted by girls.

ART OFI witnessed some amazing moments in Trek-history during my time at the store (1994-2006).  Generations came out a few months after I started, and I remember watching a City TV Generations special on the little screen in our store one night.  It was a quiet evening in the mall and there was nothing to do but clean.  The TV was usually on Much, so I switched it to the Trek special.    That was a fun night for me.

Shortly after that, Voyager debuted and I raced home from work to catch the pilot episode which I was recording.  I missed the first 20 minutes and in the pre-PVR days you couldn’t just rewind and watch a show that you were recording “live”.  Yes, it was an exciting time to be a Trekkie.  My co-workers teased me about it, but Christmas ’95 my boss bought me a thoughtful Art of Star Trek book that I still have.  That was pretty cool of him.  He knew nothing about Trek but he picked a cool book with a Generations special in the back.  He was relieved that I liked it.

As a Trekkie (I dislike the term “Trekker”), I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a pretty hit-and-miss affair, being a fan.  For every great movie like First Contact, there was a shite movie like Nemesis.  By the late 90’s, being a Trek fan was a lot less exciting.  Especially when George Lucas started cranking up the Star Wars machine again with the Special Editions, in theaters.

The last time that I was really excited about Star Trek (before the recent reboot) was Star Trek: Insurrection. On December  11, 1998 I was working the night shift with a new guy, a class act named Dave “Homer”.   It was a Friday night, and the new guy said that he and his roommate were going to catch the new Trek movie on opening night.  Was I interested in joining them?  Of course I was.

INSURRECTIONIn addition to Dec 11 being opening night for Star Trek: Insurrection (joke name – Star Trek: Big Erection), it was also opening night for the brand new movie theater in town.  Then known as Silver City, it’s now called Gateway Cineplex 10.  Added bonus:  Silver City was a mere hop-skip-and-jump away from the record store.  If we cashed out quickly, we would have absolutely no problem catching the late show and still have time to get drinks, corn and a bar.

Homer was somewhat new in town and  didn’t know the way.  I did, so I led the car convoy.  We were pleased to see that it wasn’t too busy at all.  His buddy Ollie (who briefly worked for us later on) joined us, and we got our seats.  Silver City was the latest, most modern theater.  The stadium seating was awesome, we never had anything like this in town before.  I couldn’t imagine a better setting for a new Star Trek movie!

Oh, it got better.

I always enjoy the previews.  First up was a cool looking movie called Rushmore.  Not having a clue what we were seeing, it looked interesting and Homer and I made mental notes.  (Long story short – I love Rushmore.)

Second trailer though…

STAR WARS.

Yes, the Star Wars Episode I trailer had fans buzzing.  You have to remember that nobody had a clue yet what a useless piece of shit Young Anakin would be.  (I feel bad for the actor Jake Lloyd, nobody could have played that fucking character.) We didn’t expect Jar Jar to be even worse than the worst Ewok, with so much screen time.  None of these flaws could be discerned from that first trailer, which was a collage of pure bad-assery and cool imagery.  What were those beasts emerging from the fog?  What planet is this?  Holy shit Tattooine.  What’s that silver ship? Why did C3P0 have no coverings?  And who the fuck is that evil looking dude with the double lightsaber?!

I’d seen a choppy, small version of the trailer online.  To see it on the big screen, in surround sound, in front of a new Star Trek movie?  My mind was blown before the opening credits!

It was hard for a whole Star Trek movie to top that one trailer for Star Wars.  I think for us it was pretty equal – we left enthused about both.  Insurrection was good, but we all felt that it was much like an “extended episode”.  It wasn’t bad, it was certainly better than 1994’s Generations, but it lacked the weight of 1996’s First Contact.  As Trekkies, we were satisfied and excited to see where the franchise would go next.  As a money paying audience, we knew the movie was simply not up to the high bar set by First Contact.  As long as it didn’t get worse from there…

It got worse from there.  We had no idea that Paramount would flush it all down the shitter with Star Trek: Nemesis (2001).  Just as we had no idea that George Lucas had a massive clusterfuck of sewer sauce in the pipeline for Star Wars Episode I.  Instead, we choose to focus on the rush of that evening, the excitement of the experience.  In fact it is best summed up by Mr. Spock himself:

“After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing,
after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.”

– Mr. Spock, Star Trek, Amok Time

Every Star Wars DVD or Blur-ray that I own.

Every Star Wars DVD or Blu-ray that I own.

Part 269: CD Singles (of every variety) featuring T-Rev

Welcome back to the WEEK OF SINGLES 2! Each day this week we’re look at rare singles. Today, we’re looking at lots and lots of them!  WARNING:  Image heavy!

Monday: Dream Theater – “Lie” (CD single)
Tuesday: Jimi Hendrix – “Valleys of Neptune” (7″ single)
Wednesday: Them Crooked Vultures – “Mind Eraser, No Chaser” (10″ single)
Thursday: Megadeth – “Creepy Baby Head” (“Crown of Worms” CD single)

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 269:  CD Singles (of every variety)

Featuring T-Rev

I’m going to take the blame for this.  It was I who got T-Rev into collecting singles in 1994-1995.  Oasis kicked his addiction into gear big time, but it was I that sparked his interest in singles.  According to Trevor today, “I suppose it was Oasis that started that ball rolling…then Blur taught me the tricks…Metallica helped mix the sauce…and then I was almost a pro, like you!”

T-Rev was already familiar with the dominance of singles in Europe.  “They’re so much cheaper in England!” he told me then.  “They have entire walls of them, like we do here with albums, but with them it’s singles.”

He had seen me go crazy for some of the singles that came into the store in the early days.  He saw me plunk down my hard earned pay for CD singles by Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, and many more.  He didn’t get why I was spending so much money on so few songs.  CD singles are much rarer here and commanded (new) prices similar to full albums.

IMG_20140205_130708“Why do you buy singles?” he asked me one day.  “I don’t get it.  The song is on the album, they come in those little cases, and they’re expensive.”

“I buy them for the unreleased tracks,” I explained.  “I don’t buy a single if it has nothing unreleased on it, but I want all the different songs.”

“But the unreleased songs aren’t usually any good, are they?” he continued.

“Sometimes,” I answered.  “But check out this Bon Jovi single here.”  I handed him a CD single that I had bought recently at an HMV store. “This one has ‘Edge of a Broken Heart’.  It’s a song that was recorded for Slippery When Wet, but it didn’t make the album.  Sometimes you find these amazing songs that are totally worth having.  Sometimes you only get live songs or remixes, but I still collect those because I try to get everything.”

When Oasis came out with (What’s The Story) Morning Glory, there were ample new singles out there to collect with bonus tracks galore.  T-Rev got me into the band very quickly.  Oasis were known not just for their mouths, but also for their B-sides.  Noel Gallagher was passionate about giving fans good songs as B-sides; he wanted them to be as good as the album.  Oasis had a lot of singles from the prior album Definitely Maybe as well, and one non-album single called “Whatever” that was absolutely marvelous.

Once T-Rev got onto the singles train, he had his own rules about what he wanted to collect and what he didn’t.  Packaging was important to him.  He hated CD singles that came inside little cardboard sleeves.  He couldn’t see them once filed on his CD tower, because there was no thickness to it; no spine to read from the side.  It didn’t matter what was on those CD singles; if the packaging sucked T-Rev was not usually interested.  This applied when we both started collecting old Metallica singles.  I found an Australian copy of “Sad But True” with the rare B-side “So What” at Encore Records for $20. This came in a cardboard sleeve; T-Rev didn’t want it.  (He also already had a live version via the Live Shit: Bing & Purge box set.)  Oasis started releasing their old singles in complete box sets, but T-Rev was only really interested in collecting the UK pressings.  There were a lot of variables to consider.  If you can’t or don’t want to buy everything, you have to set rules and pick and choose.

Once we understood each others’ needs, we were able to keep an eye open for each other.  T-Rev knew if it said Bon Jovi, Faith No More, or Def Leppard on it, that I’d be interested.  If it was a Brit-pop band like Blur or Supergrass, he’d want it (as long as it didn’t come in a paper sleeve).  Foo Fighters too, or virtually anything with Dave Grohl.  Our collections grew prodigiously with rare tracks, EPs we never heard of before, and loads of Metallica.  I believe at one point, T-Rev and I had nearly identical Metallica collections, duplicated between us.  More than half was singles and rarities.  We used to joke that there were probably only two copies of some of these things in town, and we had both of them in one apartment.

IMG_00000064T-Rev sold a lot of his singles but not all.  He still has some treasures.  Highlights include a Steve Earle tin can “Copperhead Road” promo (that he got from local legend Al “the King”).    There’s also Megadeth’s uber-rare “Sweating Bullets” featuring the in-demand “Gristle Mix” by Trent Reznor  Then there was a Blur thing, some kind of “special collectors edition” signed by Damon Albarn, in a Japanese pressing.  Trevor’s seen one sell for upwards of $100.  Then there was another band called “A”.  As Trevor said, “Remember these guys? It was like ‘Britpop punk’. I liked it anyway.”

Also still residing in his collection:  a Japanese print of Oasis’ “Some Might Say” that has two bonus tracks over the domestic version, and two versions of Foo Fighters’ “Big Me”.  One is from Canada, the other from the UK.  Both have different tracks.  I’d forgotten about these until I saw the pictures.

Those were the glory days of collecting.  I miss collecting CD singles.  I preferred hunting the stores downtown to get all the extra tracks to the way it is now.  Now, often you need to buy an iTunes download and several “deluxe editions” to get all the songs.  CD singles were just better, period.  Even just for the cover art of those Oasis singles, singles were much more fun to collect.  I miss those days!
T-Rev’s pics:
LeBrain’s pics: