hard rock

WTF Search Terms: Bodily functions edition

FARTED

WTF Search Terms V:  Bodily functions edition

All of these are search terms that people typed into Google, and wound up on my site.  Today the theme is “bodily functions”.  If you missed the last one, be sure to click here!

  1. “peeing” rowboat
  2. shiting on top of a shit
  3. shit into hand while in shower
  4. poo
  5. guy pissing in doorway
  6. boy holding poop in
  7. poo pictures
  8. poo in the door way
  9. poop in the shower post
  10. when to wash your hands pinterest

“When to wash your hands”?  Definitely after all of that!

I couldn’t figure out a music video to put with this, so let’s go with “TV Dinners” by ZZ Top, since that often will cause you to need to perform search term #4.

MOVIE REVIEW: Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (with bonus DVD)

TENACIOUS D in THE PICK OF DESTINY (2007 Alliance Atlantis, Best Buy exclusive 2 DVD set)

Starring Jack Black and Kyle Gass, directed by Liam Lynch

I shudder to think what some poor soul who liked Jack Black in The Holiday would think if they gave this one a try. This is for one, and only one, group of people: the rabid, dedicated fans of Jack Black & Kyle Gass as Tenacious D.

PICK OF DESTINYThe titular Pick of Destiny is a guitar pick, made centuries ago, out of the tooth of Satanus (that’s Latin, for Satan) himself. Since then it has been seen in the hands of Angus Young, Jimmy Page, Eddie Van Halen, and many more.  This bequeathed upon them their amazing guitar-shredding abilities. The only way that JB and KG can pay the rent would be to win the talent contest, and the only way to do that would be to play the greatest song ever written…with the Pick.

Ben Stiller informs them that the Pick is located, under heavy security, in the Rock N’ Roll History Museum.  Tim Robbins tips them off about the deadly laser grid guarding it. Undaunted, our heroes still quest after the Pick, even when Dave Grohl as Satanus himself comes to reclaim what is his.

There’s a whole lotta drug use (hey, it’s Jack Black), so make sure your kids don’t see this. Hell, the very first sequence before the the movie even begins is a cartoon about lighting up a joint, eating a burrito, and farting. Just so you know what kind of film you’re looking at here.

I’ve been a huge D fan, and I love this movie.  My friends love this movie. This is a party movie. The best time I ever had watching this movie was at a party.

The Demon Code prevents me from declining a Rock-off challenge

The new original Tenacious D soundtrack is remarkable in both quality of the songwriting and lyrics.  The performances are equally impressive.  “Beelzeboss” and “Kickapoo” are two personal favourites. Dave Grohl, Meat Loaf, and Ronnie James Dio all contribute guest vocals in their own signature styles. In a weird way, The Pick Of Destiny is actually a musical.

The movie was also available with a limited edition Best Buy bonus disc, if you can find it. The second disc is over an hour long, and contains 17 extended and deleted scenes. You’ll see a slightly longer version of the Neil Hamburger cameo, and a lot of alternate takes and bloopers. Best of all are the “Hell O’Clock News” segments. These were originally web-shorts that were done to promote the making of the film (in Hell, apparently). Each one features Jack, Kyle, or director Liam Lynch, in funny (ridiculous) skits. Very watchable, and more importantly, re-watchable. I assure you that buying the 2 DVD version is your wisest course of action.

5/5 stars

REVIEW: Skid Row – “Wasted Time” (1991 7″ single)

SKID ROW – “Wasted Time” (1991 7″ single)

I don’t think I’m going too far out on a limb if I call this the best song on Slave to the Grind.  The closing song on a damn fine metal album, “Wasted Time” is awesome.  It’s in “power ballad” territory, but it’s much darker than Skid Row’s prior hit ballad, “I Remember You”.  Sebastian Bach turns in the best vocal performance of his life on this one.  Sebastian co-wrote the song, about the damages of addiction.

Both the 7″ and the 12″ singles come with the previously unreleased live bonus track, “Get the Fuck Out”.  (The other bonus tracks on the 12″ are “Holidays in the Sun” and “Psycho Love” which are both available elsewhere.)  “Get the Fuck Out”, recorded at fuckin’ Wembley fer Christ’s sakes, features a long Sebastian intro that is probably more interesting than the song itself!  Apparently, Skid Row were given a letter that stated specifically that Skid Row were not to play “Get the Fuck Out”.  So what do they do?

Sebastian:  “It says here, they’re gonna stop the show, because they don’t like the word ‘fuck’!  And you’re not allowed to hear it!”  Baz then leads the crowd in a chant of “get the fuck out!” before Skid Row drive into the song.  As fans know, it’s a short firecracker punk rock song, and Baz is in top voice.

5/5 stars

REVIEW: Quiet Riot – “Slick Black Cadillac Live” Kerrang Flexidisc

There’s not much music on this one, it’s more a photo review this time.  Enjoy!

FLEXI

QUIET RIOT – “Slick Black Cadillac Live” 1983 Kerrang Flexidisc

The reason I have this (scored from Discogs!), aside from it just looking cool, is that it’s hilarious!  The version of “Slick Black Cadillac” is the same great version that was later released on the remastered edition of Metal Health.  However…it has recorded messages from the band members as well!  These messages are directed to the UK readers of Kerrang! (who gave away this flexi-disc), and are dubbed directly over the song.

After Kevin DuBrow mentions the upcoming December gigs they’ll be playing, each member gets to say a word.  Rudy in particular strikes my funny bone.  “Hi, this is Rudy Sarzo, and I play the bass!”  He’s just so…excited!  As for Kevin?  “When I see you I wanna hear you scream ’til your throats bleed!”

Flexi-discs are obviously fragile and are only good to play a handful of times.  They have a bit more background noise than normal 45’s, but have the bonus of looking cooler than the average 45!  This one is single sided, and came taped inside an issue of Kerrang!  Not all flexi’s are clear like this one, so I consider this a fun conversation piece.

3/5 stars

REVIEW: Evilyn Strange – Mourning Phoebe (2013)

EVILYN STRANGE – Mourning Phoebe (2013)

I’ll be the first to admit that I rarely listen to new bands anymore, even though 20 years ago I was on top of every new band coming out, good or bad.  It was a pleasure to hear a strong album like Mourning Phoebe.  Then I found out that the band Evilyn Strange aren’t newcomers, although Mourning Phoebe is the first release under that name.  When they first started releasing hard rock as Double Eclipse, it was the height of Brit Pop, grunge, and all that.  Thankfully times have turned since then.

E STRANGE_0002I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect based on the artwork.  What I ended up getting was a pretty solid mix of hard rock, heavy metal, grunge, pop rock, and other assorted loud music.  The first song “The Ballad of Evilyn Strange” is a perfect example.  The verses have an Alice In Chains drone-y vibe to them, while underneath I hear a guitar hook reminiscent of “Tower’s Calling” by Europe.  With that already in the mix, the choruses blast out in singalong fashion.

There’s a lot of great playing here, particularly the guitar playing.  The solos sound like a great mix of shred and composition. I also hear a lot of that 80’s LA metal sound that I like.  It’s mixed up with more progressive moments, piano breaks and plenty of hooks.

I found the album to drag a tad towards the beginning.  “Your Eyes Give You Away” and “Everything”, while both great songs, are a bit slow for me at the start of an album.  To say they’re ballads would be selling them short though, they’re more dramatic songs with heavy moments as well.  “Everything” picks up at the end, and goes into something almost like Poets and Madmen-era Savatage for a minute!

There’s an epic quality to many of the songs, and others just rock out. “Just A Little” is a good example of a solid hard rock song that delivers hooks directly and immediately. “Love Finds You” also rocks solidly with a slippery slide guitar. I’m a sucker for the slide. Good song, great chorus.

The only other thing I would criticize is the drum sound. I’m not a big fan of it, but the truth is you get used to it and it doesn’t detract from the songs. Songwriting is more important than a snare drum sound.

Evilyn Strange are an English/Swedish band consisting of twins Phillip and Al Strange (vocals & bass, drums & keys respectively) and guitarist Mikael Johannesson. Lemme tell you, Johannesson smokes! I don’t know his exact influences, but I think I can hear a bit of Dio-era Vivian Campbell. Either way, he absolutely cuts it.

Finally, I think the cover art is cool and eye-catching, and I like that they included a guitar pick in the CD. To me it’s a touch like this that keeps physical product interesting in the face of downloading.

I like this album. I wish them success.

4/5 stars
For more info:
E STRANGE_0003

BOOK REVIEW: Eddie Trunk’s Essential Hard Rock and Heavy Metal

EDDIE 1

Eddie Trunk’s Essential Hard Rock and Heavy Metal

by Eddie Trunk, 2011, Harry N. Abrams publisher

Here is a book that I heartily endorse — for beginners.  I bought my best bud Peter a copy of this for his birthday a couple years ago.  For a guy like Peter, a general survey book like this is perfect.  It’s boiled down to the essentials, by a guy that many trust:  Eddie Trunk.

I normally don’t go for this kind of book, because what can Eddie Trunk tell me about Judas Priest in three pages that Martin Popoff didn’t in his excellent book, Heavy Metal Painkillers?  So this book is for the people that just want the facts, ma’am.  Anybody who’s listened to Eddie Trunk’s show on Sirius XM knows that this guy is the real deal — he knows his stuff, he knows the bands personally, and he doesn’t pander. He has a genuine love for the music, all of it. His personal touch helps make his radio show that much more enjoyable. Same with this book.

After Rob Halford’s forward, Eddie presents his essential hard rock and heavy metal bands, in alphabetical order. AC/DC, Aerosmith, and all the way down the line. You may take exception to some of the bands that he skips over (I read on a message board that Quiet Riot were ticked that they’re not in here) but I think by and large he hit the nail on the head. The bands that he does include…well, it’s hard to argue against them, and you only get so much page space, right? And this is a gorgeous book. Full colour photos, every page. Beautiful. Lots from Eddie’s personal collection, you’ll see a very young Eddie Trunk meeting the bands as a kid!

In addition, Eddie gives you a discography for each band (not perfect, there are a couple errors here, as in inevitable in a book like this). He also lists the members of the bands, and the most important ex-members and sidemen. So when you get to Queen (and yeah, you may argue that Queen is not a hard rock band) you’ll see the four original members, and Paul Rodgers listed beneath them. Finally, Eddie gives you his list of his ideal mix CD for each band. Go ahead and make your own, and see if you agree!

As a gift to Peter who likes the music but doesn’t know the details, he gleaned plenty from this book.  Before reading it, he only knew of one Billy Squier song. Eddie Trunk got him up to speed. Thanks Eddie!

5/5 stars

For a guy like me, and quite possibly you as well:

2.5/5 stars

Added note:  I know there is a Part II as well, but I have not checked it out.

What to do with an old cassette case – USB edition

Rock & Roll & Recycle!  Two weeks ago, Marko showed you how to use an old cassette case to hold a smartphone such as a Blackberry Z10.  Unfortunately, as Aaron pointed out, the iPhone charges from the bottom.

So, for iPhone users, I present to you my own original idea of an alternate use for an old cassette case!  We all have a ton of these things sitting around!


Stickers from the folks at reprolabels.com.

Part 215: Mono

RECORD STORE TALES Part 215:  Mono

Today, I was listening to some old-school Dio, and I had a thought.  A sudden thought that I wanted to explore:

“My taste in music was 100% solidified by that month in 1986 that I had mono!”

Yeah!  I think it’s true!  I was sick at home for a month (at least) too tired to do anything except record videos on the Pepsi Power Hour!  I was inundated with a steady intake of incredible songs, in many cases for the first time.  And because I still have the old VHS tapes, I know exactly what’s on them.  This brief but intense period of my life was rocked by this soundtrack, over and over again:

power hourOzzy Osbourne – “The Ultimate Sin”

Hear N’ Aid – “Stars”

Dio – “Rock and Roll Children”

Black Sabbath – “Die Young”

Lee Aaron – “Shake It Up”

ZZ Top – “Rough Boy”

Kim Mitchell – “Lager and Ale”

Thor (Jon Mikl Thor) – “Keep the Dogs Away”

Triumph – “Never Surrender”

Loudness – “Let It Go”

Spinal Tap – “Hell Hole”, the theme song that my sister and I dedicated to our old Catholic grade school!

These songs were first impressed upon me during that period, the visuals always cool and intriguing to me.  Especially Lee Aaron.  Ahem.  Anyway.  I watched these videos over and over again.   I recorded the audio (in mono) (…hah, I made a pun!) to a cassette so I could listen to them on my Walkman.  This came in handy at the cottage.  We didn’t have a VCR or cable there, so the only way to bring my songs was to tape them from the TV.

That one intense period of being stuck at home with nothing but heavy metal heroes might have made me the LeBrain I am today.  I’m glad something good came out of it!  I couldn’t even go swimming that entire summer!

REVIEW: Jethro Tull – A / Slipstream (CD/DVD)

JETHRO TULL – A / Slipstream (2004 Chrysalis CD/DVD, originally 1980)

Unlike most Jethro Tull remasters, A did not contain any bonus tracks.  Rather, it includes the only official DVD release of Slipstream, an old Tull live/music video VHS release.

Cole’s Notes version of the history:  A began life as an Ian Anderson solo album, featuring new Tull bassist Dave Pegg and ex-Roxy Music multi-instrumentalist Eddie Jobson.  Jobson brought along his drummer friend Mark Craney, and then finally Ian asked his Tull bandmate Martin Barre to come in and play on a couple tracks.  Somehow, this turned into Martin playing on the entire album.

Anderson says that the record label, who were pushing for A to be released under the Jethro Tull banner, suddenly announced that Craney and Jobson were replacing current Tull members Barriemore Barlow, John Evan, and David Palmer.  This and other factors led to that exact lineup change, but with Jobson listed as a “special guest”.

A_0004Regardless of the office politics, A is a solid albeit very different and 80’s sounding Jethro Tull album.  I’m not a huge fan of the opener “Crossfire”, but I think that “Flyingdale Flyer” is a great combination of progressive rock Tull with the modern tweaks.  “Working Joe, Working Joe” is OK, but I’m not a fan of that funky synthy bass line.  I love the spacey sci-fi intro to “Black Sunday”, a precursor of sorts to “The Final Countdown”. Then it changes to something a little more challenging with the flute leading the charge.  At 6:39 and with multiple sections and tempos, this is easily the most epic track.

The digital pulse of “Batteries Not Included” is pretty cool, but it’s not really an outstanding track.  “Uniform” rolls along solidly.  “4.W.D (Low Ratio)” is a guilty pleasure.  “The Pine Marten’s Jig” sounds as the title implies, but perhaps just a little more complex than the average jig!  The closing song is the dramatic “And Further On”. Its mood is appropriate for a closer, and I dig that cascading piano.

Incidentally, this is one of those CDs that were “Copy Controlled”.  Boy, did that piss people off.  Some people said you had to take a black magic marker to the outer edge of the disc in order to copy them.  I never felt the urge to try this trick, and it doesn’t matter because the obsolete software does nothing to inhibit ripping today.

And that’s the album.  The DVD Slipstream opens with a homeless-looking Anderson (sleeping under a Thick As A Brick newspaper) being chased by the balloons from The Prisoner.  He then stumbles into a Jethro Tull concert, not a security person in sight!  When has this happened to you?

A_0005Tull then open with a hard rocking “Black Sunday”.  Martin Barre and Ian Anderson are really the only guys that look like they’re in the same band!  The excellent “Dun Ringill” is presented music video style.  It’s like Anderson playing over the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey, when Bowman’s in the pod.  “Flyingdale Flyer” is better, with Tull as some sort of band of interstellar explorers.  Anderson’s facial expressions make this one irresistible.  The next song is once again live, and it is the classic “Songs From the Wood”.  Jobson’s got his hands full with two keyboards!  This is paired with “Heavy Horses” sounding unfortunately cumbersome due to the domination by those same keyboards.

“Sweet Dream”, one of my all time favourite Tull songs, ever, cannot be tamed by the keyboards.  They are there, but the song is powerful nonetheless, as it should be.  In this clip, Anderson plays both the homeless ragged man, and…a vampire!  I actually like this clip a lot.  My favourite clip is “Too Old  To Rock ‘N’ Roll”, the entire band dressed as old men.  This is the album version of the song.

Next is the lovely “Skating Away on the Thin Ice of a New Day”.  On this track, which is live, Eddie Jobson plays a neat electric mandolin.  “Aqualung” is pummeling, Mark Craney keeping busy while also hitting hard.  The set closes with “Locomotive Breath” which starts completely awful, as a new-wave-funk-prog song of some kind, before finally picking up steam as it should.  The flute solo is as brilliant as ever, and I’ll never get tired of watching Martin Barre shake his skullet wildly.

3/5 stars

GALLERY: Rush and The Tragically Hip 2013 postage stamps

Rush and The Tragically Hip 2013 postage stamps – Canadian Recording Artists series

Package of 10, $6.30.

I went down to the post office to pick up my latest CD treasure from Discogs, when I noticed these beauties:  the new 2013 Rush, and Tragically Hip postage stamps!  Had to have ’em.  The budget didn’t allow for the Guess Who set (apparently their best seller).  I’ve never heard of Beau Dommage, but apparently they are “considered the Beatles of Quebec and French music” (Canada Newswire).

I love the little details.  The “Stereo 1” on the Hip package.  The “Side A” and Anthem Records serial number on the Rush.  It’s the little things like these touches that make these stamps fun to keep in package, safe in my collection!

For your viewing pleasure, please enjoy these cool postage stamps.  I’ll try to pick up The Guess Who next week.

5/5 stars!