Music, movies, and books! I’ve been very occupied these last couple days.
I get the Guiness’ Book of World Records, and the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not books every year. I imagine my surprise when I discovered a friend of ours in both books! Apparently, Sweet Pepper Klopek holds the world record for “Most Baking Sheets Buckled Over the Head for One Minute.” This is a guy who has been on my living room couch! Lemon Kurri says:
“He’s in there a couple times. Most mouse traps sprung on a tongue in 1 min too.”
RECORD STORE TALES Part 241: Halloween, KISS style!
Our annual inventory count fell on October 31. For five years straight, I never got to dress up, hand out candy, or do anything fun on Halloween because I was too busy counting discs and CD towers! However in the early days, this wasn’t the case. Halloween 1996 was actually a pretty good one.
Like most malls, our mall had a few Halloween contests. T-Rev entered the store in the Pumpkin Carving category. He and I came up with the plan to do a Kiss pumpkin. T-Rev, the store owner’s brother, and myself gathered in my mom’s workshop in the basement. My mom had plenty of paint, and I was good at drawing the Kiss makeup designs. T-Rev had the idea to make the pumpkin Gene Simmons, and figured out how to make a pumpkin tongue stick out. I must say he did an amazing job.
The first step was to spray paint the pumpkin white. One of the guys did the cutting. Then, I drew the Demon design with a black magic marker. We thought the nose needed to be more three-dimensional, so I cut it out a bit. Together, we began colouring in Gene’s makeup. We needed something to define the eyes of Gene, and T-Rev thought of using pumpkin seeds. We added a wig, and voila!
T-Rev propped Gene up on the magazine stand outside the store. Immediately we started getting compliments, and the response was pretty unanimous: We had done the best job in the entire mall.
Unfortunately, the judges didn’t base their ratings on who had done the best job. They were only marking the results, whether the store employees did the pumpkins themselves or not! A store that hired a professional carver won first place. We came in second. There was no prize for second. T-Rev and I considered that to be cheating. Cheatie-cheatertons.
The contest was over, and not too soon: the pumpkin had begun to rot, as pumpkins do. That didn’t stop a customer from coming in on November 1st and offering him $10 for it. T-Rev accepted his gracious offer, even though the thing would be turning horrific in a day or two. A fool and his money, right T-Rev?
By 1997, the store had moved out of the mall. This was our last pumpkin carving contest, but at least we had the satisfaction of winning the popular vote. As far as I’m concerned, we went out on top. My personal consolation prize was later on, Halloween 2006. By this time I had moved on to United Rentals. They took Halloween very, very seriously at United Rentals! I dressed up as Paul Stanley, and this time, I finally won first prize!
Part 7.5 in my series on Ace Frehley, sorta! Plenty of Ace related coolness here. For the last part of the Ace series,12 Picks, click here.
A World With Heroes – A KISS Tribute for Cancer Care – A 40th Anniversary Celebration
Cancer sucks. Kiss rules. Agreed? Buy this CD.
Mitch Lafon executive produced this sucker, and I suspect that means a hell of a lot of work. I have never in my travels discovered a cooler Kiss tribute album. Do you really need to buy another Kiss tribute album? Do you? Yes, you do. Why? For the following reasons:
Profits benefit the Vaudreuil-Soulanges Palliative Care Residence in Hudson, Quebec.
Obscure track selections.
Rare Kiss related gems, such as two Peter Criss Band demos with Phil Naro.
Superstar performers including Mark Tornillo of Accept, Russ Dwarf, Don Dokken, Bonfire, Sean Kelly, Vinny Appice, L.A. Guns, Doro, and many more.
Members of the Kiss family including Eric Carr, Peter Criss, Frehley’s Comet (minus Frehley), Bob Kulick and Phil Naro.
I can’t say enough good things about this compilation. Upon first sight, it had enough rarities from artists I liked, as well as Kiss obscurities, to make it a must-have. Hearing it, I’m blown away repeatedly. It is a heady brew of hits and deep, deep cuts. Since there are 51 tracks in total, I can’t go into too much detail. I’ll point out some personal favourite moments.
I’m a huge fan of the Revenge album, and I’m a huge fan of Accept. Hearing Mark Tornillo do his thing through “Spit” was awesome. I think the man’s vocal cords must be made of steel or something for him to sing like that. I also loved “Sure Know Something”, although I don’t know Chris Buck & Anthony Cardenas Montana. It’s a slinky version, very true to the original but with a Rod Stewart vibe. Jeff Paris does a pretty authentic “Shout Mercy” and I give him full points for doing a Monster tune, the newest Kiss song on A World With Heroes.
I’ve loved Brighton Rock since I was a kid, but I never expected them to unplug “Creatures of the Night”. This twist takes a moment to get used to, but their haunting arrangement is very original and cool! “Larger Than Life” from Alive II is revisited by Brian Tichy and friends, and they do it pretty straight to the original, almost lick for lick. It’s great. I love that Ron Young from Little Caesar sings “Little Caesar”, a nice wink and a smile there. A band called Shredmill contribute their original song “Outerspace”…which was later covered by Ace Frehley on his Anomaly album (giving himself a writing credit). Shredmill’s version is more Danzig, where Ace’s was more Ace.
On the second CD, surprises and highlights continue. Ron Keel and friends from Tesla and Cinderella knock it out of the park on “Rock N’ Roll Hell”, with a nod at the start to Keel’s own “The Right To Rock”. Rick Hughes of Quebec metal masters Sword helps blow the doors off “The Oath”, a favourite from The Elder. The L.A. Guns guys (Phil Lewis included) tackle the difficult “Master & Slave” from Carnival of Souls, and it smokes. They do it authentic to the grungy original but with Phil’s snarky vocals.
As a Killer Dwarfs fan, I’m always pleased to hear Russ Dwarf’s nasally twang, and he turns in a decent “Hard Luck Woman”. (Meanwhile, another bunch of L.A. Guns guys did their own version on disc one.) Bonfire contribute a live version of Paul Stanley’s unreleased song “Sword & Stone”, from their Live at Wacken CD. I don’t really know who American Dog are, but I love that they covered the Paul Stanley version of “God of Thunder”, not the Gene Simmons take from Destroyer. They do it the speedy rocked-up way that Paul originally demoed. Jim Crean does justice to “Magic Touch”. He’s almost Joe Lynn Turner style on this one.
The second CD ends with two takes of “Beth” (Chris VanDahl sounding like the hoarse Peter Criss on Alive II, and Phil Naro). This is in addition to Michael Lardie’s (Great White) version on disc one. Naro’s is easily the best of the three.
But wait, that’s not all, folks. iTunes are selling a 51 track version of A World With Heroes, including 11 exclusives. Thankfully, you can buy these exclusives separately if you already bought the CD (like I did). Once again, highlights are many. Doro contributes a 2013 re-recording of “Only You”, which she had a previous hit with back in 1990. Russ Dwarf returns with an outstanding “God Gave Rock and Roll To You II”. There are two previously unreleased demos by the Peter Criss Band with Phil Naro. These feature Peter on drums, but believe me, you can hear that it is the Cat Man and no one else. In addition, there’s a third song from this period, but recorded by Phil in 2013. There is also a second version of “Larger Than Life”, this time by somebody called Robot Lords Of Tokyo. I don’t know who Robot Lords Of Tokyo are, but I love “Larger Than Life” and I have no problem with another version of it. This one’s done quite differently, and heavier too.
But wait! There’s still more! Pledgers who pre-ordered the CD got four bonus tracks. I missed the boat on these, and you can’t get them anymore. I’m bummed about that, but for the sake of completion, the four bonus tracks are:
‘Calling Dr. Love’ – Performed by: Crash Kelly
‘Comin’ Home’ – Performed by: Sudden Flames
‘Heaven’s On Fire’ – Performed by: The Feckers (ft. Irene Slade)
‘I Was Made For Lovin’ You’ Performed by: Alain Pernot
I’d love to have these, especially Crash Kelly, but alas. The project is still awesome and worth your coins. Especially if you’re a self respecting Kiss fan. Get it.
5/5 stars
EDIT: I now have the tracks. Crash Kelly’s is awesome! Fun and awesome.
Disc 1:
‘Psycho Circus’ – Performed by: DDRIVE (Phil Naro, Don Mancuso, Dave Sessions, Jt Taylor & Bobby Bond)
‘Spit’ – Performed by: Ken Dubman, Jimmy Callahan, Scott Metaxas, & Mark Tornillo
‘Deuce’ – Performed by: Bill Leverty, Kevin Valentine, John Regan, & Russ Dwarf
‘Sure Know Something’ – Performed by: Chris Buck & Anthony Cardenas Montana
‘Detroit Rock City’ – Performed by: Ron ‘Bumblefoot’ Thal, Rex Brown & Brian Tichy
‘Eyes Of Love’ – Performed by: Eric Carr, Benny Doro & John Humphrey
‘Shout Mercy’ – Performed by: Jeff Paris, Troy Lucketta, Eric Brittingham Jeff Labar
‘Creatures Of The Night’ – Performed by: BRIGHTON ROCK
‘Larger Than Life’ – Performed by: Rex Brown, Brian Tichy & Mark Zavon
‘Cold Gin’ – Performed by: Don Dokken & Tommy Denander
‘Love Gun’ – Performed by: Tony Harnell, Mark Kendall, Scott Snyder, Sean Michael Clegg, Kevin Valentine & Tommy Denander
‘Little Caesar’ – Performed by: Ron Young, John Regan & Tommy Denander
‘Hard Luck Woman’ – Performed by: Chris VanDahl, Stacey Blades & Adam Hamilton
‘Outerspace’ – Original demo later covered by Ace Frehley on his Anomaly album – Performed by: SHREDMILL (David Askew, Jesus Mendez Jr, Jaime Moreno)
‘Goodbye’ – Performed by: IMPERIA & BOB KULICK (J.K.Impera, Matti Alfonzetti, Tommy Denander & Mats Vassfjord) – Additional Guitars by Lars Chriss
‘See You Tonight’ – Performed by: TODD FARHOOD & MYSTERY (Todd Farhood, Michel St-Pere, Sylvain Moineau, Jean-Sébastien Goyette, Francois Fournier & Benoit Dupuis)
‘Beth’ – The Grand Piano Version – Performed by: Michael Lardie
‘Tomorrow’ – Performed by: DRESSED TO CHILL (Matt Bradshaw, Rav Thomas & Rhys Lett)
‘Anything For My Baby’ – Performed by: SLAVES ON DOPE (Kevin Jardine, Jason Rockman, Seb Ducap & Peter Tzaferis)
‘Unholy’ – Performed by: Fred Duvall, Glenn Belcher, Mark Slaughter (Guitar Solo), Rob Zakojc & Russ Dwarf
Disc 2:
‘Breakout’ – Performed by: Tod Howarth, John Regan & Kevin Valentine
‘Rock N Roll Hell’ – Performed by: Ron Keel, Troy Lucketta, Eric Brittingham & Jeff Labar
‘Nowhere To Run’ – Performed by: DRUCKFARBEN (Phil Naro, Ed Bernard, William Hare, Troy Feener & Peter Murray)
‘The Oath’ – Performed by: Rick Hughes, Chris Buck & Bob Richards
‘Master & Slave’ – Performed by: Adam Hamilton, Scott Griffin, Stacey Blades & Phil Lewis
‘Calling Dr.Love’ – Performed by: BURNING RAIN (Keith St John, Doug Aldrich, Sean McNabb & Matt Starr)
‘I Stole Your Love’ – Performed by: S.U.N. (Brian Thomas Tichy, Sass Jordan & Tommy Stewart) With Derek Sharp (Of The Guess Who)
‘Reason To Live’ – Performed by: Johnnie Dee & Derry Grehan of HONEYMOON SUITE with Michael Foster & Bill Leverty of FIREHOUSE
‘Hard Luck Woman’ – Performed by: Fred Duvall, Glenn Belcher, Rob Zakojc & Russ Dwarf
‘Forever’ – Performed by: Terry Ilous, Sean Kelly With Jeff Paris.
‘Sword And Stone’ – Taken From Bonfire Live In Wacken – Performed by: BONFIRE (Claus Lessmann, Hans Ziller, Chris Limburg, Uwe KöHler, Harry Reischmann)
‘God Of Thunder’ – Performed by: AMERICAN DOG (Michael Hannon, Steve Theado & Keith Pickens)
‘She’ – Performed by: RAZER (Chris Powers, Chris Catero, Jordan Ziff, Paul Sullivan, Eric Bongiorno & Chuck Alkazian)
‘New York Groove’ – Performed by: SLAVES ON DOPE (Kevin Jardine, Jason Rockman, , Elizabeth Lopez & Peter Tzaferis With Marty O’Brien)
‘Magic Touch’ – Performed by: Jim Crean, Phil Naro, Vinny Appice, Steve Major & Stan Miczek
‘Tears Are Falling’ – Performed by: Willie Basse, Bruce Bouillet, Scott Warren & Mike Hansen.
‘Rock N Roll All Nite’ – Performed by: Harley Fine, John Regan & Atom Fellows
‘Shandi’ – Performed by: Dani Luv, Scott Griffin & Matt Starr
‘Beth – Bonus Track’ – Performed by: Chris Vandahl & Scott Griffin.
‘Beth – Bonus Track’ – Performed by: Phil Naro, William Hare & Ed Bernard
iTunes exclusives:
‘No, I’m Not Afraid’ (Previously Unreleased Peter Criss Band Demo from 1991) – Performed by Peter Criss and Phil Naro
‘Wait For A Minute To Rock N’ Roll’ (Previously Unreleased Peter Criss Band Demo from 1991) – Performed by Peter Criss and Phil Naro
‘Back On The Streets’ (2013 Mix originally from Return of the Comet) – Performed by Richie Scarlet, John Regan, Tod Howarth, Arthur Stead & Steve Werner (The Comet Band)
‘Only You’ (2013 Recording) – Performed by DORO
‘God Gave Rock N Roll To You II’ – Performed by Russ Dwarf
‘I’m An Animal’ (2013 Mix originally from Return of the Comet) – Performed by the Comet Band
‘Let Me Go Rock N’ Roll’ – Performed by The Oddfathers
‘Surrender In The Name Of Love’ (Written by Peter Criss & Phil Naro) – Performed by 24K featuring Phil Naro and Mladen Alexander
‘Love Gun’ (Tommy Denander Guitar Solo Mix) – Performed by Tony Harnell, Kevin Valentine and Tommy Denander
‘Larger Than Life’ (2013 Remaster – Robot Lords Of Tokyo version) – Performed by Robot Lords Of Tokyo
‘Cold Gin’ (2013 Remaster from L.A. GUNS’ 1998 Wasted EP) – Performed by L.A. Guns
It’s time for THE TENTH installment of WTF! Like the others, this is a collection of strange/humorous/whatever search terms that somehow led people to mikeladano.com. If you missed the last one, “Top ten edition”, click here!
who was the hunchback on the vban halen pretty woman video (It was David Lee Roth himself)
joe elliott kissing phil collen (No.)
iron meiden son so seven son yu tube
mike patton quiet riot(I have no idea what these two things have in common.)
This arrived in the mail today. Haven’t even taken off the shrink wrap yet! Thanks @mitchlafon!
A World With Heroes – A KISS Tribute for Cancer Care – A 40th Anniversary Celebration.That’s a buttload of songs, people! (I love that Ron Young of Little Caesar SINGS “Little Caesar”.)
RECORD STORE TALES Part 211: The House of Lords Debacle
Joe was on the other end of the phone. “Mike,” he said. “I have three CDs here by a band called House of Lords. You want?”
I’d first heard House of Lords in ’88. Gene Simmons was promoting them like mad. They were signed to his new imprint, $immons Records. A guy called Loz Netto was his first signing, but House of Lords was his first rock acquisition. They included ex-members of Guiffria, Quiet Riot, and Alice Cooper. I picked up their debut on the week of release, but I missed the second and third albums.
“I’ll take two!” I responded without hesitation. “I’ll take the ones titled Sahara and Demons Down.”
Joe laughed. “I knew you’d know who these guys were,” he said. I saw the pictures of the hairdos on the back and I knew it.”
“Thanks man, send ’em my way. I will buy them both for sure.”
Yes, Tommy Aldridge was in House of Lords for a minute
Joe had the two discs sent to my store, attention to me. But in between his store and mine, they had been intercepted. Someone had written on the transfer slips, “Sell at $11.99 — no discount.”
No discount? On House of Lords? The fuck was this?
Not that $11.99 is a bad price. That was a high but realistic sticker price for used copies of these albums. I can get Demons Down on CD from Discogs right now for under 8 bucks. If I had walked into another store and found them for $12, I would have bought them without hesitation. It was the principle of the thing that bothered me. I’ve talked before about how we didn’t get staff discounts on certain special or big ticket items. House of Lords was hardly the kind of band that would negate a staff discount. In fact, my boss (who had written the note) had no idea who House of Lords was.
He had obviously seen that the two discs were being sent to me, since he had written the note. Perhaps he looked at the back and spied the Simmons Records logo. Either way he personally nixed the the discount. I called him up to ask what the deal was.
“Hey,” I began. “These two House of Lords discs. What’s up with the price? No discount on these?”
“Nope,” he answered simply.
“Why?” I asked. “Nobody knows who they are.”
“That’s just what we’ve decided they’re worth,” he replied.
“Alright, well I’m going to pass on them then. I’m sending them back to Joe’s store.” I was disappointed. This kind of penny-ante crap had picked up in recent years. It was petty. It seemed arbitrary.
A few years later, more copies came in. I snagged those, discount intact. Much like most of the world, the powers that be had simply forgotten who House of Lords were. And I wasn’t about to say, “Hey, by the way, in case you forgot, staff aren’t supposed to get a discount on House of Lords.”
I’m listening to House of Lords right now. The funny thing is, for such “special” items, neither is really as good as their debut!
GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS – The Complete Season One (2004 A&E with bonus CD)
Since my primary interest in adding this to my collection is the music rather than the TV show, I’ll discuss the CD first. The bonus CD is apparently an Amazon.com (not .ca) exclusive, currently selling for about $13 plus shipping. The CD comprises just two songs: ”Rain Keeps Falling” (sounds like apossible Crazy Nights/Hot in the Shade outtake) and “You’re My Reason For Living” (sounds much more recent). These are from the “forthcoming” Gene Simmons box set called Monster. (I’m guessing he won’t be using that title now eh?) Considering that Amazon.com still advertises the Gene Simmons Monster box set as “coming in 2007”, I wonder how much longer it’ll be!
With demos of this nature it’s fairly usual for Gene to play all instruments himself and have a drum machine behind him, and that’s how “Rain Keeps Falling” comes across. The guitar work is basic but it gets the idea across, but I do hate the sound of a drum machine! It’s a pretty decent song. The verses could use some work but I think the choruses are pretty good!
“You’re My Reason For Living” is a ballad, and sounds like it could have been demoed for the Asshole album. It’s too bad it’s not on there, as it would have been the classiest song on the album. It was actually written long ago, pre-Kiss, but it’s obvious that this is a much more recent rendition. This is a very basic soul song, as interpreted by Gene. Although his voice is pretty limited, the intentions behind it sounds sincere. It wouldn’t be a hit unless Gene gave it away to a more appropriate artist, but as a bonus track on a box set it’s a bit of alright!
As for the DVDs: when this show first started I was skeptical. Ozzy had made a bit of a clown of himself on The Osbournes, and count on Gene Simmons to see an opportunity to promote himself. So the formula’s basically the same, a rock star family in humourous situations, a funny dad, etc. I preferred season one of Gene Simmons Family Jewels to Ozzy’s show, and although I didn’t keep up with the show regularly afterwards, I still think this set is pretty entertaining.
I like that, compared to The Osbournes, there’s hardly any cussing. Very rarely do you hear the “beeps” (and yes, it’s all beeps, no actual cussing). I also found the family/”characters” to be more likeable. Nick Simmons is a bright, funny young guy, and who doesn’t love Shannon Tweed? (Loved you back in the 80’s version of The Liar’s Club, Shannon!). Third, you can understand what Gene is saying, unlike the Ozzman (although that is certainly part of Ozzy’s charm).
I think my favourite episode was “Fan…tastic”, during which an awkward Gene Simmons spent his day with a mega mega mega FAN. And Shannon loves every second. She invited the mega-fan home to have dinner with Gene and the fam. And isn’t Gene just thrilled. Another episode, the “unaired pilot”, depicts Gene grilling the boy who is about to take young Sophie Simmons out to the dance. Just a priceless moment. I felt very sorry for that poor young man who had to sit across a very large desk from Mr. Simmons, and be grilled about dating his young daughter.
For Kiss fans and probably non-Kiss fans as well, I think this season is:
1. Each of these are real search terms, typed in by real people on a search engine like Google.
2. Somehow, each of these search terms led them to ME!
So here’s 10 more for this installment!
A week isn’t a week unless I get hits from people looking for stuff like this. I’m still assuming that people don’t know how to spell the word “lesbian”.
lebrain sex
lebrani nude 1
Here’s a good one:
why is here i go again not on reissue of slide it in
Because it’s not on Slide It In. It’s on 1987, sillypants.
This guy can’t spell the singer’s name, nor the name of the site he’s looking for.
you too runny james dio neon nights
Here’s a selection that led people to some of my Kiss reviews:
just how bad is peter criss’ ’78 solo album?
was peter criss’ ’78 solo album really that bad
why did paul feel unwanted and alone in the carnival
patty stanley stripper
jean simmons with a moustache
And finally, if this guy had his way, we’d all be speaking Anglesh:
We were in Kincardine, Ontario, on Queen street, or “the main drag” as my dad calls it. We were in this crappy clothing store called Sandy’s that’s not there anymore. But this time, they had a Kiss T-shirt for sale! I never saw any cool band shirts in Kincardine before. We spent much of each summer there, and when I was younger the place seemed kind of dull. Finding a Kiss shirt there, well obviously I had to get it. It was 1992, a Revenge shirt.
My dad asked, “Did you find a shirt, son?”
“Yep,” I answered. “This one is cool, because it has the new Kiss member on it.” [Eric Singer]
“Yeah,” my dad said with a disapproving smirk. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that bearded guy before…”
CRISS – Criss Special Limited Edition (1993 EP, TNT Records)
At long last, Peter Criss was releasing new music, for the first time since 1982’s Let Me Rock You, over a decade prior. Tellingly, it was a mail-order only release, on a small California label called Tony Nicole Tony Records. It ran me over $40 Canadian (with shipping) to order it. It was a limited edition, all copies to be numbered and signed by the Cat himself.
An angry letter and six months later, I finally received my Criss EP to find that the hyped signature was just printed on. Yes, it was numbered (mine is #2408), but for $40…come on.
I overlooked the sad artwork of Peter’s face, half painted in his old cat makeup, and hair bleached blonde. I cracked the seal, put the disc in and hit play.
I was struck immediately by the poor production. The drums sound awful. For a solo EP by a drummer, I was hoping for better sounding drums than this. Peter’s singing was OK, but the lyrics? He does this section near the end of the the first song, “The Cat”, that was just…stinky.
Listen to this one now. Gene and Paul went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Gene fell down and broke his crown, And Paul came tumbling over.
And then his does this weird high pitched shriek that is so embarrassingly terrible, that I couldn’t believe it made it only to the album. Well, it could only get better from there.
Nope.
The same awful sounding drums, rapping, and another awful lyric:
Planes, trains and limozines, So what? What does it mean? We’re burning down like Mercury, God bless the Killer Queen.
This time the singer isn’t Peter, but a fellow with a mohawk called Mike Stone. This same Mike Stone would later end up in a band called Queensryche. And if anything was worse than Peter’s shrieking on track one, it’s Mike Stone’s singing on track two. And the song sucks, too.
“Good Times”, an electric ballad with a soulful vocal from Peter, is pretty good. It has the vibe of something that would have fit onto Peter’s 1978 solo album, without the schlock. OK, one good song. At least there’s one.
But then Mike Stone rears his ugly mohawk again, on a song called “What You’re Doing”. No, not the Rush tune. It’s not a bad song, but Stone’s truly awful singing renders it unlistenable. Finally, Peter saves this drowning EP with an acoustic remake of “Beth”. It must be remembered that up to this point, an acoustic version of “Beth” had never been released. It was presented that way in the Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park movie, but until this EP, you couldn’t buy it like that. So this is cool, and slightly different from the version that later ended up on the Cat #1 album.
I have no doubt this is very rare today, and I’ve never seen another copy. If you can find it, great. But you may not need to listen to it.