trailer park boys

DVD REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – The Complete Seventh Season

Part six in my series of Trailer Park Boys reviews, as we gear up for the debut of Seasons 8 & 9! 

Part one: Seasons 1 & 2
Part two: Season 3
Part three: Season 4
Supplimental: “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself”
Part four: Season 5
Part five: Season 6

TPB7_0001TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Seventh Season (2007 Alliance Atlantis)

Even though it’s the most different from the classic, early seasons, the 7th and final season of Trailer Park Boys may be my favourite.  It featured a lot of changes, buit the show seemed revitalized by them.

Gone are Cory and Trevor, never to return (well, Trevor at least). In their stead are some new chracters: Tom Collins, the two “alien Trevors”, and expanded roles for Philadelphia and Jacob Collins. (Yes, apparently they are related! Nice ret-con.)

Ricky and Julian have roped Bubbles into helping them with their meat stealing business. Things go bad for Bubbles when he’s left in a freezing meat locker. (“Just pretend it’s winter,” says Rick. “Pretend you’re making snowmen out of meat.”) Bubbles decides never to work with the boys again, and then heads down to the United States with Ray (who is back on the road) selling scrap metal. Things go bad yet again when Ray is arrested for picking up two prostitutes (“friends of the road”), with Bubbles left hanging without a ride.

True friends Ricky and Julian head down to Maine to rescue Bubs, and to cheer him up, take him to a model train convention. There they meet Sebastian Bach (Skid Row) who wants to buy some of Ricky’s dope. A plan is set in motion, combining Bubbles’ skill with model trains and the Bach plan.

In other twists, Randy’s been messing around, and Lahey is still a cop, albeit things didn’t exactly work out for him the way he wanted them to. Jacob is obsessed with Julian, who realizes that he and his two “alien Trevor” buddies will make perfect “jail cover”. When Conky shows up, things get fucky.

Beefed up to 10 episodes, the 7th season was a change of pace.  A fresh direction was much needed after the 6th season, when it seemed Clattenberg and Co. were just treading water a bit. Having Sebastian Bach appear in multiple episodes was a stroke of genius, trumping the previous one-off with Alex Lifeson. Bach is hilarious.

The Rickyisms, amazingly, might be even more clever and off the wall this time. Another well written season, the absurdity of this show has been taken to an entirely new level. Smuggling dope across the border via a model train? It’s so stupid that you can’t help but laugh. All this leads up to a hilarious cross-border confrontation.

Sometimes a show suffers when new characters are needlessly added.  I don’t think that happened here.  Beefing up the characters of Jacob and Phil, as well as introducing Tom Collins, was exactly what this show needed before it seemed like it was on repeat. Sometimes a show needs a shot of new blood after this many seasons, and Trailer Park Boys was very lucky to have the entire original cast intact for 6 whole seasons plus a feature film. In addition, this season wraps up in a nice neat little package like never before. You may even get warm fuzzies. But will it last?

No, it wasn’t to last. One last episode was tacked on (“Say Goodnight To The Bad Guys”) which we will talk about next time.  The jail-freedom-jail-freedom cycle never ends!

Yeah, season 7 is probably my favourite. Not a weak episode in the bunch, and a great story arc.

5/5 stars

DVD REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – The Complete Sixth Season

Part 5 in my series of Trailer Park Boys reviews, as we gear up for the debut of Seasons 8 & 9! 

Part one: Seasons 1 & 2
Part two: Season 3
Part three: Season 4
Supplimental: “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself”
Part four: Season 5

TPB6_0001TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Sixth Season (2006 Alliance Atlantis)

Season 6 of Trailer Park Boys, that Canadian “mockumentary” program about three lovable ex-cons who can’t stay out of trouble, shall forever be remembered for two simple words:

“Piss jugs”.

Yes, piss jugs. Seems that Ricky’s father Ray (Barrie Dunn) is still living in his old truck cab, and can’t break the old trucker habit of peeing in jugs. “Way of the road boys,” he says, even though his truck cab doesn’t move an inch.

Piss jugs of varying hues of yellow and orange inhabit every episode of the brief but hilarious season 6. There are only six episodes once again, but five of those six are classic. (The only one I didn’t enjoy as much was “Where in the Fuck is Oscar Goldman”.)

As for this season’s story arc:  Randy has finally dumped Mr. Lahey for his out of control drinking. Randy then finds a new love in a surprising place, while Lahey straightens himself out. But now he pretends to be drunk, to ensnare Ricky, Julian and Bubbles.   His plan?  Send them back to prison again, of course.  His logic is that if the Boys see him constantly blasted out of his tree, their guard will be down.  It will be easier to catch them committing crimes, which is an inevitability.  In the meantime, the Boys have started some businesses of their own: “Kittyland Lovecenter” for Bubs, “Garbageland” for Ricky (basically selling stolen goods and garbage), and “Cory and Trevor’s Convenients Store”.

TPB6_0004Things get fucky by the fifth (and best) episode:  “Halloween 1977”.  Seems Halloween of ’77 was the night that Lahey got fired from the police force, kicking off his drinking problem.  And he’s just found an old home movie from that night, proving he did nothing wrong and didn’t deserve to be kicked off the force.  I’m sure it won’t surprise you that very young versions of Ricky, Julian and Bubbles may have had something to do with it.

Season 6 is more of what you love about Trailer Park Boys. After the somewhat darker Season 5, the 6th season takes you back to a more familiar setting. In a way, this season was treading water a bit, with many familiar story elements returning (Lahey quitting drinking, Randy leaving him again). By the end of the season however, things have been drastically shaken up, which will lead right into Season 7.  Stay tuned….

4/5 stars

DVD REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – The Complete Fifth Season

Part 4 in my series of Trailer Park Boys reviews, as we gear up for the debut of Seasons 8 & 9! 

Part one: Seasons 1 & 2
Part two: Season 3
Part three: Season 4
Supplimental: “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself”

TPB5_0001TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Fifth Season (2005 Alliance Atlantis)

Just when they made enough money to buy the park and retire for life, Ricky, Julian and Bubbles are in for some nasty surprises in Season 5. Yes, the boys are down on their luck a bit in season 5, but it is no less funny or well written than the rest of the series.

Corey and Trevor, as revealed at the end of Season 4, ripped off the boys. Freshly released from jail and expecting to be rich beyond dreams of avarice, Ricky’s none too happy about the double-cross.  Worse, it doesn’t take long for them to end up homeless. And if that wasn’t enough, Cyrus is back in town.  And he’s sitting on a lot of hash that is just too tempting to Julian.

New characters include Terry & Dennis or “the flappy bird brothers”, according to Bubbles, due to their, errr…birds hanging out of their bathrobes all the time. Terry & Dennis have teamed up with Cyrus, and now the boys have three foes to deal with. If that wasn’t enough, Lahey’s drunker than ever. This time he doesn’t want Ricky to go back to jail — he wants Ricky dead.

Like previous seasons, Season 5 is loaded with hilarious dialogue and absurd situations. The ever quotable Ricky has almost been topped by his dad, Ray, who plays a bigger role than ever. As Ray might say, “that’s the way she fucking goes, boys.” Which is pretty much the theme of this season. You win some, you lose some. The way she fuckiing goes.

“Holy fuck! A space suit! Dee-cent!”

My favourite moment is in the episode called “Jim Lahey Is A Fuckin’ Drunk And He Always Will Be”. In this one, Bubbles gets a toy rocket, and the boys try to cheer him up by playing “space”. Didn’t you place “space” when you were kids? I know you did! Maybe without the space weed, but still.

Clocking in at a generous 10 episodes (which is the most ever for a season of TPB…so far), Season 5 adds lots of new wrinkles. Some fans didn’t like the way season 5 went, and my response to that is that if you don’t change up the formula on a show like this, your show is doomed to jump the shark. Instead, Mike Clattenburg and Co. have chosen to make things less comfortable for the boys and see how things pan out. Funnier than ever, is how!

Five stars, as always. Not a dud episode in the bunch, and actually some of the series’ best.

5/5 stars

DVD REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – The Complete Fourth Season

Part 3 in my series of Trailer Park Boys reviews! This one features BRIAN VOLLMER of HELIX!

Part one: Seasons 1 & 2
Part two: Season 3

TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Fourth Season (2004 Alliance Atlantis)

Clattenberg and Co. decided to shake things up a little bit in season 4, and alter a successful formula. This is something they would not be afraid to do in later seasons, usually quite successfully. Season 4 features some of the Trailer Park Boys‘ all-time best episodes, included S04E05 aka “Conky”.

As revealed at the end of season 3, Lahey & Randy, as well as Julian, have ended up in jail. This is quite a switch from the way things usually go (Julian in jail with Ricky) at the end of a season.  Ricky (!) is now the Trailer Park Supervisor, and Bubbles his assistant. They spend their days playing hash hockey (which, according to Sarah, is all they do). Ricky also has been using his position for illegal credit card scams, stealing the park money, and other greasy deals.  He’s also been growing dope on an unprecedented scale.

Things for awry for Ricky when Julian, Randy and Lahey all get out early.  Ricky has quarantined several trailers (including Julian’s) behind a giant wall, where he is growing all his dope. J-Roc, T, and new addition DVS (aka “DVD”) are on board with Rick to help sell his dope at the Snoop Dogg concert. Lahey and Randy, now homeless, are powerless to do anything. That doesn’t stop them from trying….

While I won’t spoil all the twists and turns of this season, I will tell you some of the highlights.

1. Conky. The greatest character in the show’s history makes his debut (a goddamn puppet at that).  It might be the best episode of the show’s entire run.  It has certainly become a fan favourite.

2. The Green Bastard (from “parts unknown”). Bubbles gets to live his dream of being a wrestler, in a match over who gets to control the park!
3. Rita MacNeil. Sure, Ricky could have been nicer to Rita and her band, but harvesting dope is a stressful thing. Rita is obviously a good sport and a cool woman for appearing on the show as herself.
4. Bubbles gets extra credit for coining the word “Samsquantch” (Sasquatch).

GREEN BASTARD

Unfortunately this season contains one hiccup.  The episode “If You Love Something, Set It Free” (aka “Steve French”) isn’t that shithot.  In this one, Bubbles befriends a mountain cat addicted to dope.

DVD extras are your usual fare: deleted and alternate scenes galore. The most valuable cut scene was a cameo by Brian Vollmer of Helix. All Ricky wants is for Vollmer to give him an R!  This occurs near the beginning of the season, and it would have been damn cool had it remained in the aired episode.

Pick up season 4 of Trailer Park Boys and find out just what happens when you leave Ricky in charge of anything!

5/5 stars

Season 4 was followed by the 2004 Christmas Special “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself”.  Since I already reviewed this a while back, you can just clicky clicky to check out my review on that essential episode!

DVD REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – The Complete Third Season

TPD DRINK

Part 2 in my series of Trailer Park Boys reviews!  This one features the mighty RUSH!

For the first installment, Seasons 1 & 2, click here.

TPB3_0003TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Third Season (2003 Alliance Atlantis)

By season 3, Trailer Park Boys was a bonafide hit show, and running on all cylinders. The confidence that Clattenberg and crew had was obvious in season 3. The writers had hit threir stride here, and produced eight of their best episodes. Granted, there are very few bad Trailer Park Boys episodes, but none of them were in season 3. Season 3 also presents the first true classic episode, “Closer To The Heart” featuring guest star Alex Lifeson of Rush.

Ricky and Julian are, once again, out of jail. They are also rich thanks to their dope sale from the previous season. Julian begins a vodka bootlegging business, and Ricky applies for the position of assistant trailer park supervisor, now that Randy has been suspended. Lahey and Ricky working together? You know that’s not going to turn out well.

Before long, Julian comes up with the idea of committing a series of small crimes, so they won’t get caught, and saving the money for a big cruise. Stealing gas and opening an illegal gas station in the park seems like a good idea. This leads to the first-ever big Ricky courtroom scene of the series. If you haven’t seen one of these, believe me, Ricky’s courtroom scenes are always a highlight.

Meanwhile, Julian starts dating a cop, and J-Roc starts jacking other rappers tunes (he calls it “cross promoting”).  This leads to the debut of new character DVS (Detroit Velvet Smooth…from Moncton), who comes to Sunnyvale looking for reckoning. Seeing Bubbles rapping during a moment of crisis is another highlight of the season, as is finding out what J-Roc is really like under that headband.

Then, one day, Bubbles finds that Rush are playing at the Metro Centre. He asks Ricky to go get him a ticket, with the only money he has.  That gets all cocked up, so Ricky decides that to compensate Bubbles, by having Rush do a concert in the park. Just for them. How do you do that? You start by “borrowing” one of the band members.

By the end of the season, the entire world of the Trailer Park Boys has been turned upside down, and things will be drastically different in season 4. It’s all funny, it’s all quality, it’s all good. Truly, season 3 was one of the best seasons of this show, and is actually a great place for non-fans to start watching. It is easily accessible and loaded with witty writing, inspired improvised dialogue, and great stories.

Pick up season 3 if you don’t have it already. For new fans, this is a great place to get into the series.

5/5 stars

DVD REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – Big Plans, Little Brains: The Complete 1st and 2nd Seasons

Part one of my new series:  the Trailer Park Boys complete television series.  In anticipation of the forthcoming seasons 8 & 9, we’re going to be taking a look at the original series that started it all.

For those who don’t know Trailer Park Boys, there are some serious rock n’ roll connections throughout the series.  Stick around and we’ll be talking about Sebastian Bach, Helix, Rush of course, and plenty more.

TPB1-2TRAILER PARK BOYS – Big Plans, Little Brains: The Complete 1st and 2nd Seasons (2002 Alliance Atlantis)

Julian is an ex-con who calls Sunnyvale Trailer Park in Nova Scotia, Canada home. He has just been released from jail, and he’s vowed to clean up his life.  Go straight.  Ditch his bad influences.  The premise of Trailer Park Boys is that a camera crew has offered to make a documentary about Julian’s life, and will be following Julian around the trailer park.  Julian is determined to stay straight and not go back behind bars. His best friend Ricky, however, doesn’t have that same commitment to the straight life.

Trailer Park Boys took a season to find its feet, like many other series.  By the end of the first season (only six episodes), it had definitely done so.  Hang on folks, because the first and second seasons are just the beginning of what will turn out to be a pretty crazy series of mockumentary episodes.

In the beginning, the character of Bubbles (easily the funniest and most lovable of the boys) isn’t in the spotlight. Obviously, Mike Clattenberg and company realized Bubbles’ potential partway through the first season and began writing him larger parts. Also introduced in this season are Mr. Lahey and Randy, the trailer park supervisor and his assistant, who are not quite as drunk and stoned as they would get later on. Love interests Lucy and Sarah are here, not yet the adversaries to Ricky and Julian that they would become. Cory and Trevor are sidekicks (aka “jail cover”), and J-Roc and his “Roc-Pile” make their debut. Characters introduced that are later forgotten include Levi and Mrs. Peterson (who is like a grandmother to Julian). The dangerous Cyrus also makes his debut in the first episode, as a recurring antagonist.

The story arc:  Ricky and Julian return from jail to find the park has changed — Cyrus has taken over. All the criminal activities that Julian used to run in the park have now been assumed by Cyrus.  He’s even occupying Julian’s trailer.  The boys must somehow get rid of Cyrus without going back to jail. In the meantime, Julian decides to head to community college, and that means Ricky is persona-non-grata around him. J-Roc makes some cash on the side making “greasy” porno tapes, which Ricky thinks might be a good thing for him to star in (it’s not).  It’s all a build up to Ricky proposing to Lucy to finally be a good father and family man. It all comes crashing down at Ricky’s wedding which closes season 1.

While season 1 takes a while to build up speed, season 2 is full-on TPB. The verbal trainwrecks known as “Rickisms” abound.   Bubbles has become integrated as one of the main three. The get-rich quick schemes are now fully formed (or at least as fully-formed as they ever get on this show) and Lahey is a total fucking drunk. Season 2 sure hit the ground running with full confidence and skill.

TPB12_0002Yes, I used the word skill — to execute dialogue off-the-cuff like this and create such lovable characters out of criminals takes skill. The execution of this show is such that they make it look easy. I once heard it said that you have to be really smart to pull off a really dumb character.

Once again, Ricky and Julian have returned from jail.  Once again, the park has changed for the worse.  Lahey’s drunk and in neglect of his duties as trailer park supervisor.  As a consequence, the park has turned to shit.  Sam Losco (who lives in a camper, not even a full trailer) is seeking to be elected the new supervisor.  This would be very bad for Ricky and Julian.  With drunk Lahey around, it’s easy for Ricky to grow dope.  Sam Losco won’t make it that simple for them. New character Barb Lahey (Mr. Lahey’s ex-wife and owner of the park) and Treena Lahey, played by newcomer (!) Ellen Page add a new element to the show.

Since Lahey’s drunk out of his tree, it’s the perfect time for Ricky to start growing dope again (“Freedom 35, boys!”). All is almost derailed by some greasy Bible pimps, some dope-eating insects, new antagonist Sam Losco, and once again, Cyrus.  Other schemes this season involve J-Roc’s illegal night club in the trailer park, which does not go according to plan.

Lots of DVD bonus features are included, and the best one is the Tragically Hip video for “The Darkest One” starring the boys and Don Cherry! Great song. Lots of alternate and extended takes are included, and as an easter egg, the very first Bubbles short called “Cart Boy”.

The only negative thing I have to say is regarding the packaging. My case broke the day I brought it home, and so did those of some friends of mine.

5/5 stars

Winner – Best use of a crane shot in a music video – 2003 LeBrain Music Video Awards

WTF Search Terms: Heavy Porn Metal edition

It’s the regular feature where I reveal weird search terms that somehow led people here.  These are the WTF Search Terms!

 

WTF Search Terms XIX: Heavy Porn Metal edition

There seem to be two clear majorities in search terms categories that I get here:  Heavy metal and porn.  Here are 10 new ones for your perusal.  (For the last WTF installment, A Mixture of Elements edition, click here.)

10. geoff tate ruined queensryche (No argument from me.)

9. porn right motley crue shout at the devil (2 hits.)

8. blaze bayley implant crane (I have no idea what this guy’s looking for.)

7. rock shemale heavy metal ass pics

6. joe perry journey (Wrong band.)

5. why was bobby dall arrested in your mama dont dancs video (You know, I have wondered this ever since that video came out.  I have no idea.  Anybody?)

4. marilyn manson takes out rib for what (Sucking his own dick.)

3. sebastian bach model trains (I love that Trailer Park Boys have turned this into a common urban myth that has come up in my search terms repeatedly!)

2. how much is my 1993 aerosmith get a grip cd worth (50 cents, big spender!)

1. why does peter criss have a huge bass drum (Maybe you’re thinking of Tommy Lee?)

Subscribe for all the WTFs you can handle!

 

REVIEW: Skid Row – B-Sides Ourselves (1992)

SKID ROW – B-Sides Ourselves (1992 Atlantic EP)

This was a great EP, ranking among some of the better examples of such a format in metal.  I love the MAD-Magazine-esque cover artwork.  I also loved the concept of this EP as a bit of a treat to tide the fans over during the excruciatingly long four year wait between albums. The five selections are all fun, performed competently, and sound like Skid Row. They also sound like a band who truly loves these songs and knows them backwards and forwards.  It’s not quite as satisfying as you want it to be, as it’s only about 18 1/2 minutes long.   (I mean hey, there’s a Ramones cover on here so there you go.)  This is meant to be nothing more than a fun snack, and as such pay no more for this than you’d be willing to pay for any 18 minute CD.

Tracklist time!

1. “Psycho Therapy”

Bassist Rachel Bolan sings this Ramones-approved cover (backed by Faster Pussycat’s Taime Downe).  It was chosen as the first single/video. Excellent cover, very authentic. So well received, it was even included on their Forty Seasons: The Best Of CD.

2. “C’Mon And Love Me”

Classic Kiss cover from Dressed To Kill! A great riffy Kiss song. Skid Row do it justice.  It’s one of those solid, meat & potatoes rock songs that requires no frills, just some solid guitars.  I think this is definitely one of my favourite Kiss covers ever.

3. “Delivering the Goods” (Live)

Featuring the Metal God himself, Rob Halford, in a duet with his buddy Baz! One thing that is immediately obvious is that Baz is absolutely pumped. But then again, he does state that he’s been waiting his whole life to share a stage with Halford.  Great cover, very live sounding, mistakes and all.  Still, “Delivering the Goods” is the weakest of these covers…yet it still blows away most bands.

4. “What You’re Doing”

Perhaps the best cover on the album. This is a first-album Rush cover. Back when Geddy was writing the lyrics, and before Rush were singing about how trees are talking to each other and how different sides of your brain works, or outerspace bullshit. It’s an absolutely ferocious, angry Skid Row cover with Baz paying tribute to his countrymen. Excellent, obscure choice and the only cover on the album that I hadn’t heard somebody else do before (or since).

5. “Little Wing”

A surprisingly great turn on the Hendrix classic. Very different from Jimi’s version (obviously), this sounds nonetheless authentic and classy. Of note, the Skids also did a live-in-the-studio version for the music video.  I wish that version was released on a CD as well.  Unlikely we’ll see that happen.

Covers records can be so very hit-or-miss, but this one is five hits.  Battleship sunk.  Just wish it wasn’t all over in 18 minutes.

5/5 stars

SKID ROW B-SIDES_0003

Gallery: Christmas Haul 2013

Music, movies, and books! I’ve been very occupied these last couple days.

I get the Guiness’ Book of World Records, and the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not books every year. I imagine my surprise when I discovered a friend of ours in both books! Apparently, Sweet Pepper Klopek holds the world record for “Most Baking Sheets Buckled Over the Head for One Minute.” This is a guy who has been on my living room couch!  Lemon Kurri says:

“He’s in there a couple times. Most mouse traps sprung on a tongue in 1 min too.”

 

Lemon Kurri & Sweet Pepper

Part 218: Liquor and Whores

RECORD STORE TALES Part 218:  Liquor and Whores

The year:  Early 2004.

A new original TV show was starting to make waves in Canada.  I hadn’t caught wind of it yet — I didn’t have cable back then — but our destinies would soon intertwine.  The catalyst was my old childhood and highschool friend, Scott.

Scott remembers the story much like I do.  He used to come into my store every Wednesday to visit and check out new arrivals.  He had just become addicted to this new TV show in question, and was spreading the word.  According to Scott:

“I was trying to get everybody into that show…90% success rate by the way.”

That doesn’t surprise me at all.  Because when you’re talking about a show as Canadian, as original, and as funny as Trailer Park Boys, the series sells itself.  Scott figured I would be an easy convert.  “I just knew you were a Rush fan,” he tells me.  It was the Rush connection that initially caught my attention.

Scott was talking to me at the front counter.  “Have you heard of Trailer Park Boys?” he asked me that day.  I hadn’t.  “It’s hilarious,” Scott continued.  “You have to see this guy Bubbles.  In the best episode, he meets Alex Lifeson from Rush.  He gets to go on stage with Rush, play guitar with Alex, and everything.  He’s actually a pretty good musician.”

Going into more detail, Scott explained:  “Do you remember that band, Sandbox?”  I did.  “Bubbles is played by a guy from that band.  He’s got these big thick glasses, always swearing…Bubbles is the best!”

I had seen Sandbox eight years earlier, opening for Barenaked Ladies actually.  I was really impressed by their show and their single “Curious”, so I picked up their album.  In fact I think their ambitious second album, 1997’s A Murder in the Glee Club, is among the finest albums our country has to offer.  Their lead vocalist was a guy named Paul Murray, nephew of Anne.

Wanna see what Bubbles would look like with a shaved head?  Watch this.

So I was in.  As soon as the first box set came into inventory, I bought it, without seeing a single episode.  Dandy ratted me out for buying two DVDs in one week (which was against the rules at the time), but once I got the discs home, I put on the first season.  I was hooked by the second episode.

Now that the boys are coming back for an 8th season on SwearNet, it’s never too late to get yourself hooked on this incredible show.  After all, if Axl Rose, Sebastian Bach, and Alex Lifeson are all fans, aren’t you curious what you’re missing?

See Guns N’ Roses play “Liquor and Whores” with Bubbles on vocals & guitar

Liquor and whoresSAM_0436
Liquor and whores
Cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna
Liquor and whores

I went down
Drinkin’ at the legion
I met a girl she was nice
She was pretty and pleasing

She said “Hey boy
We should do some marrying”
I said sure but before we do
There’s something that you should know

I like
Liquor and whores
Liquor and whores
Cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna
Liquor and whores…

Then one night down at the legion
She walked in, I was drunk on gin
Dancin with a lady friend
She said hey boy, You’d better fly the fuck home
I said no cause five little words I coulda
Swore I said to you

I like
Liquor and whores
Liquor and whores
Cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna
Liquor and whores…