Happy Friday, everyone. WTF Search Terms is a series in which I reveal actual search terms that somehow led real people to mikeladano.com. This time I asked my buddyChristo pick 10 of his favourites from the pile, which he did — along with his own commentary. Enjoy!
WTF Search Terms XV: Fan Favorites – Thussy Edition
Lebrain has wanted me to collaborate with him for a while, and I am no writer, so we decided to do a WTF Search Terms. He sent me a big list of weird search terms, and all I can say is a lot of people looking for porn found Lebrain’s blog. Also, no one can spell anymore. So, keep reading below to find out my top ten WTF Search Terms!
10. google videos jethu tull too juong old to rock and roll and too juomg to died
Someone was looking for some very specific porn, and ran into Lebrain.
8. toronto shemales tumblr
“If the girl did something to you but you didn’t do it back then you didn’t really do anything.”
7. videos da bada white snack
I had to include this one, because it apparently got 9 hits! Why?
6. oshawa women that like to fuck
Local easy girls, for when hookers are too expensive.
5. marilyn manson without ribs
Even I know that rumour isn’t true.
4. (Three-in-one!) a. queensryche queensryche eyes of the strangers japan bonus b. queensryche queensryche eye of the strangers japan import c. queensrycheeye of the strangers japan bonus youtube
I always enjoy doing these year-end lists. I’ve compiled some of the stats from the last 12 months for you, and for my own amusement. For the 2012 installment click here.
2013 was an exciting year for me. I enjoyed reviewing some great albums, although I only did one real “series” in 2013 — Ace Frehley. I did some mini-series such as the Week of Singles, but nothing as epic as the 50 part Maiden series from 2012.
In 2013, I took a bigger leap into making videos. Three this year that I was particularly proud of:
Not including these end-of-year lists, 2013 had only 9 Guest Shots. I’d really like more in 2013, so drop me a line if you are interested in contributing. Uncle Meat was the most prolific contributor this year, with notable work also posted by Mrs. LeBrain, Lemon Kurri Klopek, and Tommy Morais.
In 2013, I posted 103 installments of Record Store Tales, 12 editions of the ever popular WTF Search Terms, and a whopping 275 Reviews.
My biggest personal blogging achievement this year however was the completion of a massive project: A Table of Contents! It was a mind-numbing task in its monotony, but rewarding in its final form. Finally all Record Store Tales and Reviews are listed and easy to find in a couple clicks.
TOP FIVE LeBRAIN-READING COUNTRIES
United States
31,256
Canada
24,154
United Kingdom
9,884
Germany
3,479
Sweden
3,080
TOP FIVE REVIEWS by hits
Queensryche absolutely dominated this year, their combined hits overshadowing even the mighty Iron Maiden.
1. Iron Maiden – Maiden England ’88 (2013 CD reissue)…1,391
2. Marillion – Radiation 2013…1,240
3. Queensrÿche – “Redemption” (2013 single)…927
4. Queensrÿche – Queensrÿche (2013 Japanese edition with bonus tracks)…907
5. Geoff Tate’s Queensrÿche – “Cold” (2013 single)…737
6. (Runner-up) Brian May & Friends – Star Fleet Project…691
TOP SEARCH TERMS
1. marillion radiation 2013…145
2. queensryche redemption…127
3. 69porn…118
4. paul stanley voice problems…90
5. mike ladano…75
Tomorrow, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming with a new Record Store Tale. Thanks for reading in 2013, and I promise more fun in 2014!
“Here We Go Again” with more WTF Search Terms! Everything seen below is an actual search term, that a real person clicked to somehow get here to mikeladano.com. As David Coverdale might say, “Here’s some rock and roll for ya!”
jon mikl thor arnold the beatles greatness (One of these things is not like the other)
QUEENSRYCHE – Hear in the Now Frontier (1997, 2003 EMI remaster)
I remember when this album came out in the spring of ’97. There was anticipation and a certain amount of fear: How could Queensryche possibly top Promised Land? The band, as always chose to do something different. In this case they dropped the production, sound effects, and themes, and created a stripped down album of individual unrelated songs. That’s the nice way of putting it. Critics of the album say “Queensryche went grunge,” or “Queensryche went alternative.”
Whatever you call it, this is not a great album. There are some truly great songs, but they are in the minority, swimming through a sea of padding. Guitarist Chris DeGarmo wrote the music for almost every song here, and about half of the lyrics. He even got his first lead vocal (“All I Want”). Even though Hear in the Now Frontier (God I hate that title) isn’t a great album, Queensryche has missed DeGarmo’s presence. This was his last album with the band.
As I said, there are some great songs. They include:
“Get A Life” – Not very Ryche, but it’s a heavy rocker based on the riff and Geoff Tate’s shredding vocal melody.
“All I Want” – A piano-based ballad with a nice rhythm, very different from anything Queensryche have done before or since.
“Hit The Black” – Grungy, distorted lead vocals drive this heavy riff-oriented groove rocker. I like it.
“Anytime/Anywhere” – Another heavy rocker that would have fit right in on the Q2k album.
“sp00l” – The only song that I might describe as progressive, and the one that sounds the most like Queensryche. Powerful vocal and melody. Sonically interesting, and centered on the bass guitar much like “Della Brown” or “Promised Land”.
But that’s pretty much it for me. The other 9 tracks I would describe as dry, flat, not memorable, melodically poor and homogenous. It is clear that the vision for this record was to make something that sounded stripped down, and even with odd flourishes such as violin and piano, it’s just too boring. Even the cover art (by Hugh Syme again) stinks.
There are four bonus tracks, all of which are decent. Three songs come from the “Sign Of The Times” CD single; “Chasing Blue Skies” is a studio track, and had it been on the album, it would have been one of the best songs. Why it was left for a B-side, I don’t know. Maybe because they didn’t want another ballad on the record, which was already bogged down by slow numbers? Anyway it’s great, and sounds like something from Promised Land. Then there are three MTV Unplugged tracks, all fantastic. “Silent Lucidity” and “The Killing Words” were released as B-sides, but “I Will Remember” was completely unreleased in audio format until now. These songs are all considered rarities, as the singles have been out of print for over a decade. They are at least worth having, even if you don’t like the album.
Welcome back to WTF. Everything seen below is an actual search term that somehow took people here to mikeladano.com. In the public interest, today I thought I’d gather together health-concerned search items. (Missed the last installment? Click here!)
dr george morgan lebrain (I am only a doctor of Rock)
doctors names and phone number in canada @yahoo.ca “+1” -spam (but I am unlisted)
QUEENSRŸCHE – Queensrÿche(2013 Avalon Japanese import)
I purchased and reviewed the domestic “deluxe edition” of Queensryche (2013) in July of this year. I initially gave it a 3.25/5 stars, but I have since revised that score to 3.5/5. The album continues to appeal to me greatly months later, which is more than I can say for most Queensryche discs since Promised Land. At the end of that review, I cryptically added, “Oh, and the live bonus tracks absolutely smoke.”
Since nobody likes a tease, I’ve decided to focus on all four live tracks for this review. For the very reasonable price of $32 USD plus $3 shipping, I had a sealed copy of Queensryche sent to me from Japan, so I now have all four live tracks. If you want the short report: They’re good enough that Queensryche should consider releasing a full live CD/DVD. I’d buy it based on these four tracks. But nobody comes to mikeladano.com for the short version.
“Queen of the Reich” is the first song I ever heard from the original Queensryche, as I suspect is true for most of the band’s fanbase. Right from the opening scream, I feel that this is the band that represents Queensryche. Every note is nailed, as is every scream. On this song Todd La Torre can do no wrong, but not just that. I would say that his versions are, in general, fresh sounding. He is reverent to the originals, but I also hear his own voice. I must also commend Scott Rockenfield. His drums are heavy as fuck, and his bass drum precisely punctuates every beat.
“En Force” is a welcome surprise. In 2001, Eddie Jackson told me that it was considered in the running for the Live Evolution album but did not make the cut. The good news is the guys still know how to play it! This has never been my absolute favourite track from The Warning, but to hear it live with all the screams intact? That’s something I never thought would happen again.
“Prophecy” is a difficult song, and although Todd doesn’t sing it album-perfect, I have to ask myself, who else these days can sing these Queensryche songs like this? Not too many singers. I just hope Todd doesn’t blow out his voice. I’m sure this kind of singing takes its toll.
Last is the classic “Eyes of a Stranger”. This is the only bonus track not from the stone ages of the Ryche, the only representation of Operation: Mindcrime. It is actually this track, in many respects, that shows off the talents of Todd La Torre. It is another side of the spectrum, and Todd pulls this off as well. Look, I know Geoff Tate’s the original, etc. etc. I get that. Focused on the here and now, this is how I’d like to hear Queensryche sound. Heavy, slightly progressive rock music with shredding vocals. That’s what I like, and Queensryche deliver on these four bonus tracks.
Lastly, a word about Parker Lundgren. I remember when Kelly Gray joined the band, on Live Evolution he lent a different sound to the band. It was good, just different. Parker fits much more seamlessly. He doesn’t attract attention to himself by playing things differently, he played it the way you remember it.
Yeah, so I bought the album twice. You knew I was going to. For the bonus tracks:
I thought I would do something a little less hilarious this time, and more just…I dunno…interesting enough to read over a coffee? Sure, let’s go with that. Today I thought I would share with you my top ten search terms since I started in March 2012. All of these people ended up at my site. Counting up (what the hell eh?) from 1 to 10, here’s the most popular search terms at mikeladano.com. Note that some of them are essentially duplicates, too.
paul stanley voice problems
marillion radiation 2013
paul stanley voice
queensryche redemption
69porn
paul stanley’s voice
kisstory book
black sabbath paranoid deluxe edition
queensryche split
mike ladano
I MADE THE TOP TEN! High five!
Missed the last, much funnier installment of WTF?Click here!
So after all the hubbub and commotion and he-says she-says, both Queensryches have finally released their albums. The consensus is pretty clear: fans prefer the original band to the original singer. The sales figures speak for themselves. Queensryche has more than doubled the sales numbers of Frequency Unknown, and charted in the 20’s rather than the 80’s. The judge that will settle the case of who gets the Queensryche name in November said that the market would decide. If that’s indeed the case, Tate can look forward to a solo career.
In the meantime Michael Wilton, Scott Rockenfield and Eddie Jackson carried on with Parker Lundgren and Todd La Torre, and basically did what fans have been asking: revert to an earlier sound.
Instead of going through this album song-by-song, I thought I would try something different. Instead I’d like to just talk about what I like and don’t like about Queensryche. You can feel free if you disagree if you like. Uncle Meat couldn’t bring himself to review the album. He hated it so much he rated it 0/5 stars. He said that the hiring of a Tate clone only makes Queensryche look like a bunch of douchebags. His opinion was that this act alone put Tate on top, even if he did release the dreadful Frequency Unknown. He asked me to say this on his behalf:
“This is like the winner of the Queensryche Karaoke contest. Worst album of the year, of any genre.”
So there’s that. I respect the criticism about the Karaoke contest. But lemme tell you folks, even if La Torre’s Tate is uncanny, it’s also welcome to my weary ears. I like hearing a Queensryche album where the singer is actually hitting the notes. I’ve heard Tate fans talk about electronic processing on La Torre’s voice. Well, that’s pretty much rooted in the 1986 Rage For Order sound.
If I had to nail Queensryche down to a specific era, it would be Warning-Rage-Empire in that order. Not terribly original, no. I’ll let it slide though, and for this reason: when a band like Queensryche, who have musically been adrift at sea for a long time (barring the odd triumph like American Soldier), they need to re-ground themselves and regain the faith and trust of the fans. Priest did something similar with their Angel of Retribution album. Various songs sounded pretty bang-on for specific eras of the band. And you know what? That worked for me. It was what I needed. They saved the double concept album for the next record.
So, if Queensryche can progress from here, I’ll be happy and forgive them for the lack of originality. I’ll let it slide for one album. I’m also a little disappointed in the brief running time of 35 minutes: 9 short songs plus 2 intros. None of the tracks are longer than 4 1/2 minutes.
I find pretty much all the songs to be of equal quality. That is, all of them are good, some of them are better than good, none of them are poor. I’ve waited to listen to this album 5 or 6 times before I tried to review it. After that many listens, none of the songs are particularly jumping out at me more than others. But none are turning me off. All have moments of greatness here and there, sometimes in the guitars, other times the drums, or the vocals. La Torre is definitely stunning at times on this album. It’s also fantasic to actually hear Scott Rockenfield playing the drums on a Queensryche album, and sounding like Scott Rockenfield. He has a unique sound, one of his own, as does bassist Eddie Jackson.
As for the new boy Parker Lundgren? Sure, he played on some of Dedicated to Chaos, but now you can actually hear him. He meshes better with Michael Wilton than anybody else the band has had since Chris DeGarmo.
Which brings me to my final point. I still miss DeGarmo. This is nothing against Michael, Scott, Eddie, Parker or Todd. DeGarmo had some kind of magic. Look at all of Queensryche’s hits. See who wrote most of them. Queensryche absolutely miss DeGarmo, more than they do Tate.
In closing, I enjoy Queensryche a lot more than Frequency Unknown, or many albums since Promised Land. Do I like it more than Rage? Warning? The EP? No. It’s good, no mistake, but it’s not at that level. Whether they are capable of ever getting there again remains to be seen. My attention is peaked; I’ll definitely check out the next album, which the band have already started writing. In fact I’m looking forward to the next one, and hopefully the next one after that.
Oh, and the live bonus tracks absolutely smoke.
3.5/5 stars
FYI: The Japanese edition contains an additional bonus track, which is “Eyes of a Stranger” performed live by the new lineup. All four live tracks are taken from the same gig. Reviewed separately.
Trevor told me about Warren first. “He’s a big guy,” he said, “With big, blonde Sammy Hagar hair and glasses. Nice though. He was friends with my mom when I was growing up. I used to call him Wookiee!”
Warren was bringing in some promo CDs to sell, and Trevor was giving me a heads up and asked me to treat him right. Warren is a fan of a lot of the same musicians I am (guys like Ritchie Blackmore and Steve Morse) but his passion was bass. His favourite bassist was Chris Squire of Yes. So obviously Warren and I were going to get along. We did, and he frequently came to me as his first stop for selling music, buying music, and making conversation.
Warren was trying to do a few music magazines. He originally worked on a country music mag, but that wasn’t his thing and soon he started up Global Bass Online. Warren needed help with some of the interviews. He was really excited to be speaking to Victor Wooten, but he needed someone to interview Eddie Jackson, from Queensryche. Queensryche were promoting their new CD and DVD, Live Evolution. Warren gave me copies of each, and asked if I wanted to write the Jackson piece.
“Are you kidding?” I said, stunned. “You want me to talk to Edbass?”
A pause from Warren. “Who?”
“Edbass,” I replied. “That’s how Eddie Jackson credits himself on the album.”
“Oh!” said Warren. “Yes, Eddie Jackson. I know you can do it. Here’s a cassette deck you can plug into your phone. And here’s Eddie’s cell phone number. He’s expecting your call, he knows what’s going on.”
Wow. Eddie Jackson was expecting my call. Cool.
Warren and I collaborated on some initial bass-related questions, but he left the rest up to me. He gave me tips, but told me that I was a good conversationalist and that I would be fine.
I called up Eddie that night, keeping in mind that Seattle was 3 hours behind us. Eddie answered, we had a brief chat and set up an hour the following day to do the interview.
Warren ended up following his dream and moving to paradise (Switzerland). And we still keep in touch. And maybe I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now if it wasn’t for his confidence.
CRISS – Criss Special Limited Edition (1993 EP, TNT Records)
At long last, Peter Criss was releasing new music, for the first time since 1982’s Let Me Rock You, over a decade prior. Tellingly, it was a mail-order only release, on a small California label called Tony Nicole Tony Records. It ran me over $40 Canadian (with shipping) to order it. It was a limited edition, all copies to be numbered and signed by the Cat himself.
An angry letter and six months later, I finally received my Criss EP to find that the hyped signature was just printed on. Yes, it was numbered (mine is #2408), but for $40…come on.
I overlooked the sad artwork of Peter’s face, half painted in his old cat makeup, and hair bleached blonde. I cracked the seal, put the disc in and hit play.
I was struck immediately by the poor production. The drums sound awful. For a solo EP by a drummer, I was hoping for better sounding drums than this. Peter’s singing was OK, but the lyrics? He does this section near the end of the the first song, “The Cat”, that was just…stinky.
Listen to this one now. Gene and Paul went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Gene fell down and broke his crown, And Paul came tumbling over.
And then his does this weird high pitched shriek that is so embarrassingly terrible, that I couldn’t believe it made it only to the album. Well, it could only get better from there.
Nope.
The same awful sounding drums, rapping, and another awful lyric:
Planes, trains and limozines, So what? What does it mean? We’re burning down like Mercury, God bless the Killer Queen.
This time the singer isn’t Peter, but a fellow with a mohawk called Mike Stone. This same Mike Stone would later end up in a band called Queensryche. And if anything was worse than Peter’s shrieking on track one, it’s Mike Stone’s singing on track two. And the song sucks, too.
“Good Times”, an electric ballad with a soulful vocal from Peter, is pretty good. It has the vibe of something that would have fit onto Peter’s 1978 solo album, without the schlock. OK, one good song. At least there’s one.
But then Mike Stone rears his ugly mohawk again, on a song called “What You’re Doing”. No, not the Rush tune. It’s not a bad song, but Stone’s truly awful singing renders it unlistenable. Finally, Peter saves this drowning EP with an acoustic remake of “Beth”. It must be remembered that up to this point, an acoustic version of “Beth” had never been released. It was presented that way in the Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park movie, but until this EP, you couldn’t buy it like that. So this is cool, and slightly different from the version that later ended up on the Cat #1 album.
I have no doubt this is very rare today, and I’ve never seen another copy. If you can find it, great. But you may not need to listen to it.
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